thanks for reading or clicking on this thread in advance =))

this story is about me and this girl..

that night, i asked her if she could call me and talk on the phone for the first time. she replied, 'must i call?'. i was rather disappointed. and said, 'it's your wish'. moments later, i received her call. and my life started to change.

i was having a meaningless life 'flirting' with girls before we started talking on the phone. i thought my life couldn't be any better, with almost every night on the phone, with different girls. then it was her, who changed me unknowingly.

below is the story..

i found this girl, by the name, B. she was hurt when i first met her..she wasn't able to forget the guy she liked for 4 years..though they were never together..and after listening to bits and pieces of her story, i decided to be there for her, until she is happy again. minor changes start to happen, without noticing, she became the girl i talk to almost every night, and replaced all my other acquaintances.

things got closer between us, she couldn't sleep without my smses at 2am each day, she felt something missing without my call every night, and was able to give up her time talking to other friends of her's. i didn't tell her this before, but i was touched, and fell in love with her.

few months later, after our poly life started, during the first week, we sms each other like crazy everyday. i remember just 1 bus trip to my school, we could msg up till 20times each. yes i had in mind the cost of the bill, but it was a happy moment for both of us. soon, we met each other up after school.

the magical week, i asked to meet her at xx shopping centre after school. she told me she was gonna pick up something from there for her sis, and i offered to accompany her. i didn't tell her this too, many times, that night, and the 2 following nights we met, i wanted to hold her hand. but i know i'm not allowed to. i asked her out again on the same week, friday. this time we went vivo, met up my brother and his gf. many people went between us when walking, how i wished i could hold her hand and walk together. she never knew..

i know i left her a good moment that night. and she asked me out the following week, offering to treat me dinner for my birthday. i was afraid at first, cause no girls asked me out before. i had no idea how to react, and gave her a feeling that i don't wanna go, but it's not true, i just don't know how to face her. she asked me if i was free on monday, and said she wanted to treat me dinner. i was wondering if i should go, and she told me something, that i will never forget in my life. 'if you're not free on monday, we shall go on tuesday. if you're still not free, i'll wait for you to be free.". something like this..the words are rephrase cause i couldn't remember word by word. so, we met. nothing much did happen that night at vivo. but soon after, i met her on the same week and we went vivo again. but this time, we spent most of the time at the balcony facing sentosa. i decided to make this the day, and tried hinting her on the bus to vivo, and at the balcony. if only she can remember, i put my hand on her lap, hinting her to hold mine. she didn't compromise, i thought that she didn't feel the same as i did. i remember this period, i lied down on the ground, and started looking at the stars. i was rather tired and thinking if i should really hold her hand today. and at that very moment, her hand came over to me and pulled me up. and i knew, i must hold it now.

but something bad happened straight after. we were holding each other's hands tightly even when we are sitting on the bus. i felt that she didn't wanna let me go, so was i. but i told her something, that i wasn't ready. i was such a failure since primary school days. never succeeded before each time i chased a girl. i wasn't ready cause all these years, i've never been accepted. was really relieved that she wasn't angry.

and that's how we got together.

at the start, we met around 3 times per week, having a good time each outing. and we went ahead to kissing few days after we got together. our love was strong then..

but problems started. i wasn't able to take her blog having more of other boys than me. nearly every post has another guy's name. but i know she didn't love him..he was just a friend. but i was just jealous.
and this became one of the biggest problem.. i regretted for nagging about this problem time and time again which made her feel sick and tired of it..the outcome is always argument between us.

now that i think of it, i should have given her more time..the fact that she said she will change her blog and stuff for me when we are stable..

soon, our 1 month anniversary came. i was so so sooooooo excited over the weekends. was asking my friends what their bf do for them during their anniversary. some tell me to buy her flowers. but ... i was having financial difficulties at that time.. and i lied to her, saying that i didn't have the time. felt really really sorry..i'm such a useless boy. can't even buy FEW STALKS of roses for her during our first anniversary..she even paid for our movie..

more problems came in between us after that.. mainly cause i still didn't stop my nonsense.. and made her sick and tired of the arguments..i don't blame her for that..but i'm really really hurt that even after i changed, she didn't give me the love i've always wanted..she didn't stop showing disinterest with me..she didn't show me love at all..but she used to love me more than i did..

that day in school, i heard, we can leave at 10am but there is a course for us at 4 to 5.30pm..i was fighting inside my mind..whether i should send her home after school..and i made up my mind to after that. gave her a call..and asked that question..i didn't know that she will actually scream at me and insisted on going home herself..she didn't used to show me this kind of treatments..i believe its my nonsense that changed her..

recently, i left her alone to think through, what i have done for her and what she gave me in return.. but turns out that she had been thinking whether we should still be together..i feel like a moron digging my own grave..

she took quite a long time to make up her mind to end our relationship..

guys..my question is, how can i get another chance from her? i need advices if possible..i feel that shes a girl who needs alot of time..need advices .. i don't wish to lose her..

thanks for reading =)

You are right, it is your over-possessiveness that somehow kills the relationship. Plus your lack of self-esteem and confidence.

I think for this time being, just let this go and focus on being a better person. Take it as a lesson learnt

i know what i did wrong and spoilt the relationship..i've changed too..

but isnt there any way i can save this relationship??

Originally posted by d0ug:

i know what i did wrong and spoilt the relationship..i've changed too..

but isnt there any way i can save this relationship??

well, it's over, really. The girl has tasted you.

Better luck next time.

doko

It's very hard to save back the r/s, once it's over, it's over.
like rainee said, focus on being a better person and learn from lesson (try not to be easily get jealous and nagging next time).

but if u still believe you can save back the r/s, u can always try, show your sincerity and your new self, but it depends on her and fate too.

thanks to all =))

go and tell her to give you another chance,and have the intention to CHANGE your attitude.

Originally posted by dokono:

well, it's over, really. The girl has tasted you.

Better luck next time.

doko

To TS: Objectively speaking... I agree with doko...

just to add... you must learn to control your emotions... but your are so young, cannot really blame you... *haiz* either you learn to control your emotions or such things will happen again and again...

i will learn.. really appreciate all of your time

TS,

Sometimes when a relationship is over, you have to let it go...

like for your case, So much has happened, even if u did patched back, things will NEVER be the same... you'll never get back what you have lost.

somehow i think you are not mentally or emotionally ready for a relationship...

Let things cool off first.... if it's meant to be, you'll be together in the future, but if it's not meant to be, you have to learn to let go and learn from this experience

Don't think anyone of us can tell you if she'll take you back or not. Its not up to us, its up to her.

She might not take you back right away but who knows maybe in future you'll be together again if its meant to be.

i really hope so..

and ytd night after our phone call, i was telling her to hang on to our relationship once more.. like how we did last time..

until she ignore me..but she didn't block me in msn..so i continued typing..

was telling her everything she told me..and everything i thought of..and my changes too..

after 1 hour+ of self typing she replied read all of them..and gtg slp and went off..i sent her a last msg asking her to hang on and think about giving me a chance..and that i will put those words into action..

what can i do now?? leave her to think?

Originally posted by d0ug:

i will learn.. really appreciate all of your time

The thing about you being overpossessive is that you are not confident in yourself.. ie Insecurity. Learn just to enjoy the relationship, for you do not possess nor control anyone.

doko

Originally posted by d0ug:

i really hope so..

and ytd night after our phone call, i was telling her to hang on to our relationship once more.. like how we did last time..

until she ignore me..but she didn't block me in msn..so i continued typing..

was telling her everything she told me..and everything i thought of..and my changes too..

after 1 hour+ of self typing she replied read all of them..and gtg slp and went off..i sent her a last msg asking her to hang on and think about giving me a chance..and that i will put those words into action..

what can i do now?? leave her to think?

I think most probably she has lost her feelings for you, and you just seem desperate if you keep going back to her to pester her to give you another chance.

Sometimes, opportunity only knocks at our door once

Show that you are sincere in this relationship again and you have changed for the better, you hope/pray that one day she notices it. Take this as a lesson for you in future relationships, don't repeat past mistakes. From what i understand from your post and others have highlighte, you are over-possessive of her(I'm Nagging). Maybe just move on with your life rather than thinking about it, your relationship has just ended. If you hope that she goes back to you, make sure that you stay what you are now(which you have changed), being friends with her all over again and PRAY REALLY HARD that she might fall in love with you again.

Ultimately, move on with your own life. Reality stinks but your relationship has came to its destination.

Originally posted by rainee:

I think most probably she has lost her feelings for you, and you just seem desperate if you keep going back to her to pester her to give you another chance.

Sometimes, opportunity only knocks at our door once

Lost feelings because she has found out what an insecure person he is because he was scared of losing to other guys because he has no confidence in himself. Lack of confidence drives the girl away.

doko

Originally posted by rainee:

I think most probably she has lost her feelings for you, and you just seem desperate if you keep going back to her to pester her to give you another chance.

Sometimes, opportunity only knocks at our door once

wah... good point, rainee dear (just seem desperate if you keep going back to her to pester her)

So I guess it is, say your peace and then let her decide and do not pester her... then, hope for the best (and in the meantime learn to control your negative emotions, let your gf/wife live their own lives and be happy for them when they do that... and simply enjoy, be grateful of the time you two spend together... and if she finds someone else because you give her the freedom.... LL and carry on with your own life because you see.... even if you cling on tight... like TS... you end up losing her...)

A conversation between a wise friend and I sometime back when I was down and out, I'd share with you.

persona, will you choose between yesterday or tomorrow?
tomorrow.
the past is past.
the future is in our hands.
talk about regrets, do you harbour any?
is carefreeness your online persona? how can one free himself so easily of sentimental recollections, regrets and just move on to the future?
teach me, rabbi. I am keen to be taught.
everyone has regrets. but what's the point of crying over spilt milk? the best use of the past is the lessons it teaches us for the next lap of our life.

Originally posted by Detached:
A conversation between a wise friend and I sometime back when I was down and out, I'd share with you.

persona, will you choose between yesterday or tomorrow?
tomorrow.
the past is past.
the future is in our hands.
talk about regrets, do you harbour any?
is carefreeness your online persona? how can one free himself so easily of sentimental recollections, regrets and just move on to the future?
teach me, rabbi. I am keen to be taught.
[b] everyone has regrets. but what's the point of crying over spilt milk? the best use of the past is the lessons it teaches us for the next lap of our life.
[/b]

appreciated.

Life is too short to obsess over one person.

It is difficult, but if you choose to orbit around a person who no longer give a rat's ass over you, you're wasting a lot.

And it's not sacrifice either and it won't be appreciated.

Ruminating in the past takes you nowhere.

You have to do something for yourself now. life has many things requiring our attention. We only have 70 odd years to live, mortality is real

Last but not least, my friend. When something hurts and we meditate on it, we become better people, learn to let go

i get what you mean..but..

sigh..

Let me share with you another story.

Check PM.

Originally posted by d0ug:

i get what you mean..but..

sigh..

painful right? *pat pat* so you noe... if a ger likes you she will oso same you and feel pain, if not, she won't feel any pain breaking up with you one...

Then there is another type of ger... she told me: "I break up, I drink beer and get drunk for one night... and the next day I am OK"

what i know is..she took quite long to make this decision..and cried over it several times..but i didnt know it at that time cause we agreed to give each other some time to think of what we did and our mistakes and change them..i never knew that breaking up was the thing in her mind..

Originally posted by d0ug:

what i know is..she took quite long to make this decision..and cried over it several times..but i didnt know it at that time cause we agreed to give each other some time to think of what we did and our mistakes and change them..i never knew that breaking up was the thing in her mind..

huh? "cried over it several times"?????? I think by now she got over it (the pain) and scared sh!tless about going through the same thing with you liaoz... sounds more and more hopeless....

Just take rainee's je je's advice bah....