I'm so confused over what I should do now.. Me is 19 and my ex is 17.. She is still a first year and I'm into final year of studies. We broke up last week as she said she cannot cope with the stress of her parents that have been reminding her not to get a stead, and her concentration of her school work.. and therefore she decided to let go..

However, I've found out that there are other reasons that she wanted to let go. First she cannot stand my attitude of dealing with problems and the habit of didn't really plan ahead. She prefer someone that will plan ahead of things. However, I've promised my best buddy whom i've known for 6 years and her that I would change and prove them wrong that I can infact change, which i'm trying now..

And one more reason is that she had realised that a guy left a very good impression on her and can take care of her better than me and can plan ahead.. she intents to go steady with him soon and i believe it's somewhere this week..

I tried to show that I've change by showing her care and concern and asking her is there any problems to share but what i'm getting is just cold responses from her.

I intend to ask her how is she going to plan ahead to deal with her parents if she going to get a bf again and how is she going to plan for their responses since she said that her parents had consistently nagged at her that she shouldn't get a bf.

I feel that the reason she gave me on her stressful parents is contradicting on what she's doing now.. like as if finding some excuses to hush me up for the time being..

so what's your advice? continue to prove them wrong or just give up on her?

and I'm sincerely sorry for the wordiness..

finish your NS first dude ....

she's going to cheat on you and break up with you when you're defending your country anyways ...

why not end it now ... and then grab some hapless NS boy's girlfriend in the uni ? ...

Don't need to prove to her anything, it is not going to work.

Take this as a lesson learnt dude.

Sadly, I think there's not much hope left.

Once a girl's has changed, any desparate attempt will only make matters worse.

no point flogging (shagging) a dead horse. swallow it, acknowledge that you lost her and move on

everything she said are just lame excuses. basically, she found another. period.

well.. i dont suggest you get back to her.. afterall, her heart is not there anymore.

but i do suggest you try to improve on your bad habits.. i use to have and still having this habit of not planning ahead and handling problems.. this might jeopardise your future not only in your love life but also in other aspect.

wish you well bro, concentrate in your fyp and leave some memories in your poly life before you start stepping into the working world.

best wishes,

ifish

Originally posted by rx7Savanna:

I'm so confused over what I should do now.. Me is 19 and my ex is 17.. She is still a first year and I'm into final year of studies. We broke up last week as she said she cannot cope with the stress of her parents that have been reminding her not to get a stead, and her concentration of her school work.. and therefore she decided to let go..

However, I've found out that there are other reasons that she wanted to let go. First she cannot stand my attitude of dealing with problems and the habit of didn't really plan ahead. She prefer someone that will plan ahead of things. However, I've promised my best buddy whom i've known for 6 years and her that I would change and prove them wrong that I can infact change, which i'm trying now..

And one more reason is that she had realised that a guy left a very good impression on her and can take care of her better than me and can plan ahead.. she intents to go steady with him soon and i believe it's somewhere this week..

I tried to show that I've change by showing her care and concern and asking her is there any problems to share but what i'm getting is just cold responses from her.

I intend to ask her how is she going to plan ahead to deal with her parents if she going to get a bf again and how is she going to plan for their responses since she said that her parents had consistently nagged at her that she shouldn't get a bf.

I feel that the reason she gave me on her stressful parents is contradicting on what she's doing now.. like as if finding some excuses to hush me up for the time being..

so what's your advice? continue to prove them wrong or just give up on her?

and I'm sincerely sorry for the wordiness..

There are two parts to this:

I) You are right in saying that her reason for break up is merely a reason to diss you off. And if you haven't realize by now - any reason will suffice actually. After all, words are just words - the content isn't as important as the intention.

In the other side of this context: if a person genuinely wants to remain in a relationship, even for the wrong reason, she will stay. Nothing can make her leave if she is bends on remaining.

You cannot force Love upon another just because you desire it so - much more than the willingness for a person to be with you.

II) If you are determined to change your flaws, it must be a revolution from within and not some feeble method to 'win her back'. The latter is often a short term measure to rebrand your identity, but since the core hardly changes, you will probably revert back once the 'inflated initiative boost' wears off.

People often talk, very superficially, about how they will change in name of Love, but I can tell you most merely end up diverting these negativities into other section of emotions or energy and not learning to resolve them through higher/spiritual understanding.

If your ability to evolve is largely depended on the existence of others and their approval, then you will lead a life where your growth is limited by the kind of people that live in your environment.  

Sometimes in Love, one must learn to release before one can learn to walk forward.

Cheers

"Nan Ren" must "Na De Qi, Fang De Xia"

Originally posted by rx7Savanna:

I'm so confused over what I should do now.. Me is 19 and my ex is 17.. She is still a first year and I'm into final year of studies. We broke up last week as she said she cannot cope with the stress of her parents that have been reminding her not to get a stead, and her concentration of her school work.. and therefore she decided to let go..

However, I've found out that there are other reasons that she wanted to let go. First she cannot stand my attitude of dealing with problems and the habit of didn't really plan ahead. She prefer someone that will plan ahead of things. However, I've promised my best buddy whom i've known for 6 years and her that I would change and prove them wrong that I can infact change, which i'm trying now..

And one more reason is that she had realised that a guy left a very good impression on her and can take care of her better than me and can plan ahead.. she intents to go steady with him soon and i believe it's somewhere this week..

I tried to show that I've change by showing her care and concern and asking her is there any problems to share but what i'm getting is just cold responses from her.

I intend to ask her how is she going to plan ahead to deal with her parents if she going to get a bf again and how is she going to plan for their responses since she said that her parents had consistently nagged at her that she shouldn't get a bf.

I feel that the reason she gave me on her stressful parents is contradicting on what she's doing now.. like as if finding some excuses to hush me up for the time being..

so what's your advice? continue to prove them wrong or just give up on her?

and I'm sincerely sorry for the wordiness..

Prove to her wrong.. Prove to her wrong by getting yrself a new gf which u take good care of her, shower her plenty of concern. Prove to her wrong that u are a man now who know how to take care of yrself and yr other half with a plan for future...

break ..

good for health

17 is too young to decide anything and u should realli finish your NS first.

love isn't sth that can be change so easily.

your g/f is playing with u,

 her reason is all fake,

she wants a B/F that she can show off, or at lest she will be proud of him.

is short, u are just unlucky.

don't think about it too much, gals like that are everywhere.

improved on yourself, and wait for a gal to come to u.

Originally posted by Fatum:

finish your NS first dude ....

she's going to cheat on you and break up with you when you're defending your country anyways ...

why not end it now ... and then grab some hapless NS boy's girlfriend in the uni ? ...

 

Very true...

ever heard of 兵变 ?

NS = high chance to get ditched.

so, not worth it to go stead before you complete ur NS.

u will be lock up with a bunch of guys, while your gf remain surrounded by temptations.

usually, after you break up and a girl's into someone else, it's hard to patch back. sorry mannn...

and yups, in NS, there's where breakups usually happen.

Originally posted by Fatum:

finish your NS first dude ....

she's going to cheat on you and break up with you when you're defending your country anyways ...

why not end it now ... and then grab some hapless NS boy's girlfriend in the uni ? ...

 

its a trend. Boy go NS, Gal no patience and gives up on Guy

Originally posted by escadaraindrops:

usually, after you break up and a girl's into someone else, it's hard to patch back. sorry mannn...

and yups, in NS, there's where breakups usually happen.

the dating scene is like a soccer transfer market.

Originally posted by deathmaster:

ever heard of 兵变 ?

NS = high chance to get ditched.

so, not worth it to go stead before you complete ur NS.

u will be lock up with a bunch of guys, while your gf remain surrounded by temptations.

Sadly, these days, no faithfulness!!

Originally posted by Yunhaier:

There are two parts to this:

I) You are right in saying that her reason for break up is merely a reason to diss you off. And if you haven't realize by now - any reason will suffice actually. After all, words are just words - the content isn't as important as the intention.

In the other side of this context: if a person genuinely wants to remain in a relationship, even for the wrong reason, she will stay. Nothing can make her leave if she is bends on remaining.

Well said. I think Yun hit the nail on the head.

Best to keep looking forward and enjoy everything that you do. Whether or not your ex girlfriend chooses to be part of it is really up to her.

Originally posted by soleachip:

Well said. I think Yun hit the nail on the head.

Best to keep looking forward and enjoy everything that you do. Whether or not your ex girlfriend chooses to be part of it is really up to her.

Agree

leave it to fate

Originally posted by Midlusionz:

17 is too young to decide anything and u should realli finish your NS first.

dude u r still young..

Originally posted by Yunhaier:

There are two parts to this:

I) You are right in saying that her reason for break up is merely a reason to diss you off. And if you haven't realize by now - any reason will suffice actually. After all, words are just words - the content isn't as important as the intention.

In the other side of this context: if a person genuinely wants to remain in a relationship, even for the wrong reason, she will stay. Nothing can make her leave if she is bends on remaining.

You cannot force Love upon another just because you desire it so - much more than the willingness for a person to be with you.

II) If you are determined to change your flaws, it must be a revolution from within and not some feeble method to 'win her back'. The latter is often a short term measure to rebrand your identity, but since the core hardly changes, you will probably revert back once the 'inflated initiative boost' wears off.

People often talk, very superficially, about how they will change in name of Love, but I can tell you most merely end up diverting these negativities into other section of emotions or energy and not learning to resolve them through higher/spiritual understanding.

If your ability to evolve is largely depended on the existence of others and their approval, then you will lead a life where your growth is limited by the kind of people that live in your environment.  

Sometimes in Love, one must learn to release before one can learn to walk forward.

Cheers

there is the 3rd part, THE CHUCK NORRIS WAY!

break then breka, if she think this way she also abit b*stard.... right? break  break la... ns find a new gf , 1week see 1time, also song..

Originally posted by Batistabomb6677:

its a trend. Boy go NS, Gal no patience and gives up on Guy

 

 

Cant blame the girl... too young to settle down and who can withstand the time without your love one beside u?