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US grad trip: Friends or gf?

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  • red_tide24's Avatar
    1,057 posts since Feb '04
    • just graduated, and my sec sch frens jioing me to go grad trip to US free and easy. But my gf wanted me to go BKK shopping trip with her instead. I'm not keen at all with the BKK trip, cos already went with her in January this yr. I'm more keen on the US trip. so i suggest to my gf to go with me to US. initially she was v reluctant, cos US more expensive than BKK. But i manage to persuade her.

      then after we bought the air tickets and such, problems resurfaced. she told me she actually dun like free and easy. she preferred to sit in coaches and live comfy hotels. but ppl free and easy usually live cheap hostel or 4-5 ppl squeeze one hotel ma.

      then she expect a lot of shopping during the US trip. but the US trip we planned has more sightseeing and adventure than shopping. and she is not happy. and i cant possibly asked my guy friends to change the itenary to a more shopping one.

      so i tried to tell her not to go, as I already foresee that she will be unhappy for the US trip, but she still insist on going. how ah? what u all think i shld do? this thingy has been putting a lot of strain on the r/s. and aldy made me lose the mood for grad trip..

      how?

  • Queen of sgForums
    Hottest.&.Coolest.Mod
    FireIce's Avatar
    163,465 posts since Dec '99
  • red_tide24's Avatar
    1,057 posts since Feb '04
    • if this thing not solved, i confirm will quarrel with her during the trip. then might as well dun go, right?

  • UNinvolved in Africa
    Pitot's Avatar
    33,879 posts since Aug '05
  • Lorry`'s Avatar
    4,996 posts since Oct '05
    • in the first place, you SHOULDNT have agree to bring her along. That's a mistake i feel.

      It's a class trip, whats she doin there? GF then? What's more, you already had went with her to BKK earlier.


      Hmm.. if it's me, i will persuade her not to go.

      The ticket can be passed to another friend who is keen. That means just buy over her ticket. I also feel that she will be unhappy during the whole trip, hence the trip might turn out to be nasty. Tell her the plans you and your friends have, sight-seeing and stuffs, not just shopping. Make it clear that this trip doesn't involve you and her only, but also your friends. Hence not everything can be control or decided by you. That probably will make her lose the excitement....

      That's what i will do if i were you....

  • red_tide24's Avatar
    1,057 posts since Feb '04
    • no. US trip aldy booked. if this thing has to come to a stage where i cancel both our air tickets to US, i also wun go BKK with her.

  • Queen of sgForums
    Hottest.&.Coolest.Mod
    FireIce's Avatar
    163,465 posts since Dec '99
    • then u shd just go have a great time with ur frens in US

      when u come back then think of how to deal with the gf
      if want to break up i oso no blame u lah
      cos me oso no like this kind of ger leh.... throw us gers' face!!!

  • UNinvolved in Africa
    Pitot's Avatar
    33,879 posts since Aug '05
    • Originally posted by red_tide24:

      no. US trip aldy booked. if this thing has to come to a stage where i cancel both our air tickets to US, i also wun go BKK with her.

      tell her dont throw tantrum la.

  • red_tide24's Avatar
    1,057 posts since Feb '04
    • in the first place, you SHOULDNT have agree to bring her along. That's a mistake i feel.

      It's a class trip, whats she doin there? GF then? What's more, you already had went with her to BKK earlier.


      Hmm.. if it's me, i will persuade her not to go.

      The ticket can be passed to another friend who is keen. That means just buy over her ticket. I also feel that she will be unhappy during the whole trip, hence the trip might turn out to be nasty. Tell her the plans you and your friends have, sight-seeing and stuffs, not just shopping. Make it clear that this trip doesn't involve you and her only, but also your friends. Hence not everything can be control or decided by you. That probably will make her lose the excitement....

      That's what i will do if i were you....


      yah u hit jackpot. i also feel is a mistake to persuade her to come US with me in the first place. This trip involve a big group of my friends. 13 of us actually. my friends and their gfs. so right now aldy almost everyone has conflicting ideas and suggestions. and there is little i can do to influence the majority's vote.

      but if i asked her not to go, i am worried our r/s will still head for doom.
  • Queen of sgForums
    Hottest.&.Coolest.Mod
    FireIce's Avatar
    163,465 posts since Dec '99
    • if over such thing and ur rship is going for doom, then it's a doomed rship in the first place.

  • UNinvolved in Africa
    Pitot's Avatar
    33,879 posts since Aug '05
    • If your relationship is doomed by this dumb issue. I think it is just a time bomb waiting to happen.

  • UNinvolved in Africa
    Pitot's Avatar
    33,879 posts since Aug '05
  • seotiblizzard's Avatar
    21,019 posts since Apr '06
  • Lorry`'s Avatar
    4,996 posts since Oct '05
    • Originally posted by red_tide24:

      yah u hit jackpot. i also feel is a mistake to persuade her to come US with me in the first place. This trip involve a big group of my friends. 13 of us actually. my friends and their gfs. so right now aldy almost everyone has conflicting ideas and suggestions. and there is little i can do to influence the majority's vote.

      but if i asked her not to go, i am worried our r/s will still head for doom.

      Bring gf go is totally fine, but she must not act like that. Else it's better off to go US without her.

      I still think it's better not to bring her along. icon_neutral.gif

      I'd persuade her and tell her, I'd go BKK with her when i return from the trip. She can shop until she happy. (i dont know if you will go after returning la.... but for the moment i'd just try to persuade her not to go)  Or buy her something after the trip because GSS is coming soon~

      Because a trip is suppose to be pleasant ma.... i dont want to worry this and that. Worry later she unhappy or what. And i also want to sight-see ma. icon_biggrin.gif  (imo)

       

  • red_tide24's Avatar
    1,057 posts since Feb '04
    • Originally posted by FireIce:

      if over such thing and ur rship is going for doom, then it's a doomed rship in the first place.

      yah. shldn't have even argued on this issue. i just feel that since it was my grad trip, she shld try to accomodate and allow me to enjoy the trip. but all these "i want this i want that, and if u dun give me, i will be unhappy" issue makes me sian half

  • red_tide24's Avatar
    1,057 posts since Feb '04
    • Originally posted by seotiblizzard:

      Since u cannot persuade her, get ur friends to help u persuade her?

      she dun know my friends well, doubt my friends will be able to persuade her

  • UNinvolved in Africa
    Pitot's Avatar
    33,879 posts since Aug '05
    • tell her dont throw tantrum la.

      Even if she goes with you on the trip and any little thing sets her off, it just spoils the whole mood. you know girls, they just bite back anytime anywhere.

       

  • red_tide24's Avatar
    1,057 posts since Feb '04
    • Originally posted by Pitot:

      tell her dont throw tantrum la.

      Even if she goes with you on the trip and any little thing sets her off, it just spoils the whole mood. you know girls, they just bite back anytime anywhere.

       

      yah if she is unhappy over the smallest of things, she will bad mood and give me cold shoulder the whole day. wah lau. sianz liao. i dun wan her to go US man

       

  • UNinvolved in Africa
    Pitot's Avatar
    33,879 posts since Aug '05
    • Originally posted by red_tide24:

      yah if she is unhappy over the smallest of things, she will bad mood and give me cold shoulder the whole day. wah lau. sianz liao. i dun wan her to go US man

       

      abit sad rite? the chaps all with their partners then u alone.

  • jojobeach's Avatar
    4,063 posts since Apr '07
    • red_tide,

      Actually hor, your gf is the smarter one.

      Let me tell you why ok ? I travelled many places with big group and small group also backpack everywhere before.

      With such a big group of 13, it is hard to please everyone. best is go tour packaged with fixed itinerary, like your gf says.

      Free and easy is for small group , or couples or singles. Because there are too much options.

      Since you going in big group, best is to rent several transports instead of going one big coach. That way no need to wait here wait there.. when all arrive half day gone.

      If she likes shopping she can always choose to go shopping instead of joining you guys for the rough and tumble, usually is only a day trip. She can always catch up with you guys later. Just try to be flexible, tell her to meet you at the hotel at the end of the day.

      USA is very big, and the options are plenty. I know because I live in the USA.

      Have fun !

       

       

      Edited by jojobeach 16 May `08, 5:21AM
  • jojobeach's Avatar
    4,063 posts since Apr '07
    • Originally posted by red_tide24:

      yah. shldn't have even argued on this issue. i just feel that since it was my grad trip, she shld try to accomodate and allow me to enjoy the trip. but all these "i want this i want that, and if u dun give me, i will be unhappy" issue makes me sian half

      Then you should step up and be a man. Set down the ground rules with her.

      Let her know this is no princess trip, since she wants to go with you , then let her know what is YOUR expectation.

      Let it be known. Don't later regret.

  • Ed11790's Avatar
    986 posts since Feb '08
    • try to let her feel happy during the trip to u.s…...............trust me there are many fun things to do in u.s…......maybe come to ny…......i live in ny lol

  • ifish's Avatar
    2,180 posts since Dec '06
  • walesa's Avatar
    1,849 posts since Apr '06
    • I think your issue is not simply one of the travelling itinerary - if anything, it's a microcosm of things to come.

      Are you seriously going to be making decisions to please your girlfriend at the expense of your friends (or vice versa) for the rest of your life? If you aren't going to take a stand on such issues and do you know what to be right, it's high time you changed your girlfriend or friends (or both)...

  • GHoST_18's Avatar
    19,705 posts since Jun '03
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