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why ah? why when we quarrel, we will shout? why cant we get our point across by not shouting?
i just had a quarrel with my mom. starting i was calm, but dont know why suddenly i starting shouting damn loud. so loud i think my neighbours can hear cos my throat now a little strained liao.
but i dont get it that why when we quarrel or angry, we will shout? after the quarrel, i was thinking why i shout so loud? it is like showing others my family dirty linen...why couldnt i just argue with her on not such a loud scale...
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cause when u get angry u will tend to raise ur volume...
teach u smth that might work...
when ur mom scold u...u jus calm down n dun shout..talk normally...then when she start to raise her volume..u jus ignore n cont. talking normally.think she will shout huh?? then jus repeat..but throughout the quarrel talk normally..
cause when u raise ur volume then the other party will also cfm raise de..
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she doesnt raise after i raise, because in a quarrel , she always lose. in my family, quarrels always i win, bcos i always got the most logic.
i was alright, i told her leave my room, i dont want quarrel with her, and i watching tv. all very calmly, until she said i think i very big shot. then i flared up, and starting shouting, at which she kept quiet cos she know she cant win me. i just hit the death spot in my family quarrels. everything i use it i sure win the quarrel.
but it is like i was v calm, but dont know why suddenly i become so angry, and flared up shouting. it happened like over 1 line that she said that triggered me. just so frustrated now that i cant control my temper. calm for like a few minutes then explode...sigh...
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Originally posted by wonderamazement:I use to quarrel with shouting... Till i decided that rebutting in a cool way... was just cool...
yea same idea. thats why i was trying to control my anger and temper, to control my volume. no point shouting, since the words are the same. loud or soft as long as the point get across, that does the job. sigh...why i shout why i shout...
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the main point of you shouting is probaly to get your point across to the other party. apparently by doing so the other party would want YOU to get his/her point and thus shouts back. vice versa kind of thing you know.
in a quarrel nobody is right or wrong. we just want the other party to agree with us. someone has to backout right? be it raising your voice or keeping your cool the quarrel shouldn't have initiated in the first place.
when you sense the other party feeling fustrated, try to pull back from the conversation lest things might get nasty.
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Originally posted by Short Ninja:[quote]Originally posted by bladez87:
[b]why ah? why when we quarrel, we will shout? why cant we get our point across by not shouting?
Try sitting down when you are angry,you tend to lower down your volume when you are not standingby your logic, i should be whispering when i had my quarrel cos i was lying down and shouting.
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Originally posted by bladez87:by your logic, i should be whispering when i had my quarrel cos i was lying down and shouting.
((((((((KANINA))))))))) ((((((DID I ASK YOU TO WHISPER??)))))))))
ok so you were lying down and shouting. Mmmm thats really interesting! now just lie down on the couch and begin by telling me what kind of childhood you had and.....did your mother experience extreme difficulty in labor when you were born?
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It takes two hand to clap..
One party is the catalyst.. The other is the enzyme..
Ren!!! Grind ur teeth and try to keep ur cool..
By shouting back.. It's reali disrespectful to ur mum.. She could be hurtin deep inside her.. I doubt anyone will like their child to scream at them..
Could it be.. Ur mum is actually seeking attention from u?? She may feel tat she lacks communication with you.. The onli time she could get ur attention is when she finds a point in u to trigger..
PopQ! Ur temper burst.. U're lookin at her.. Screamin ur head off... There, she gotten wat she wanted! To talk to u.. Though not in a nice way.. But u are lookin at her, givin her attention!
I read in a book b4.. Rather then standin up.. U sit down.. Ur temper will be dose off.. Standing up give u more heat.. With the other person arguing.. It serves onli to trigger an even bigger response.. & the kick of arguing.. The thrill and stress tat i muz win this argument will rise up.. and all the more u will wan argue till u win..
in the case there is a quarell..sit down n force ur cool!
Hmm.. Beta still.. give ur mum alittle of ur attention every dae.. U noe.. Jus a simple askin.. How is her dae? Or how did she pass her dae.. a simple 5min chat i think will mean a lot alot to ur mum..
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