TWENTY IMPORTANT POINTS ON PSYCHOLOGICAL COMPLEMENTARIES IN MARRIAGE
1. In marriage, for man, woman is a need, and for woman, man is security.
2. A man is attracted to a woman when the woman makes him to feel masculine; similarly a woman is attracted to a man when the manÂ’s presence makes her feel feminine.
3. Attraction for utilisation is the motto of womanhood, and impress to achieve is the goal of manhood.
4. Man expects physiological and psychological care with personal attention from his woman, whereas woman expects emotional and psychological care from her man to possess him for protection and security.
5. Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed, and women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
6. For man, first physiological needs are to be satisfied in sex, then only he turns to emotional needs; whereas for women, first her emotional needs are to be satisfied, then only she can turn to her physiological needs: that means man feels his own feminine after his maleÂ’s is satiated, similarly woman feels her own masculine after her femaleÂ’s is satiated.
7. In any inter-personal interaction, other than verbal, in marriage, he is active but she is receptive; she being fulfilled, he is fulfilling.
8. Even in the interpersonal relationship in marriage, manÂ’s priority is to achieve his goal, whereas womanÂ’s priority is the importance of their relationship.
9. The six different kinds of emotional support for love in marriage are: -
(i) She needs caring, he needs trust.
(ii) She needs understanding, he needs acceptance.
(iii) She needs respect, he needs appreciation.
(iv) She needs devotion, he needs admiration.
(v) She needs validation, he needs approval.
(vi) She needs reassurance, he needs encouragement.
10. In any inter-verbal interaction between couple, if wife is overwhelmed husband tries to advice with solutions, or mistakenly tries to defend himself; so also in the pensive mood of husband the wife tries to improve him.
11. WomanÂ’s communication is for sharing, but manÂ’s is for solving.
12. WomanÂ’s thinking is expanding but manÂ’s is purpose-oriented, similarly their talking also prevails.
13. A womanÂ’s attitude is empathetic, whereas a manÂ’s is self-oriented.
14. (a) In a relationship, woman expands to serve the needs of others, whereas man contracts to build focusing and self-absorption. Man has focused awareness and feminine has open-awareness.
(b) In an irk-some position, because of open-awareness, women tend to blame themselves first and due to focused awareness men to blame others first.
15. In stress and tension: -
(a) Man needs solutions for which man goes to his cave and woman likes to share in a non-focused way.
(b) Men increasingly focused and withdrawn while women become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved. He feels better by solving the problems and she feels better by talking about the problems.
(c) A man needs time and space to find objective solutions, so he becomes increasingly focused and withdrawn; whereas a woman needs time and attention to find her subjective solution, hence she becomes increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved.
16. When a man is upset, he wants to be alone; whereas, if a woman is upset, she needs companionship and love.
17. In a serious situation, man thinks and processes lonely, tests his outcomes outside, reassesses them on account of reactions and arrives at the solution; whereas woman thinks and processes loudly to tap her intuition.
18. In marriage, man wants the right to be free and expects to be allowed for his own privacy; whereas woman wants the right to be upset and expects to be understood.
19. Woman involves others for her decision-making, but man only consults in his decision-making.
20. Men like rubber-bands suddenly pulls away, distances himself and comes back on his own; whereas, a womanÂ’s self-esteem, like waves, rises and falls, and it hits bottom for emotional house-cleaning.