This has got to be the saddest X'mas :'(

• elindra

  27 Dec 04, 16:23

  Thanks guys
  I appreciate all of your concern
  
  But I think I"ll just go home and hide and cry
  
  
• kopiosatu

  27 Dec 04, 16:23

  xmas is over!
  
  time to look forward to a new year
• HENG@

  27 Dec 04, 16:25

  Originally posted by elindra:

  Thanks guys
  I appreciate all of your concern
  
  But I think I"ll just go home and hide and cry
  
  

  poor thing.
  hugz
• kopiosatu

  27 Dec 04, 16:26

  Originally posted by elindra:

  Thanks guys
  I appreciate all of your concern
  
  But I think I"ll just go home and hide and cry
  
  

  Its alright, just cry it out... it helps at times like these.
  
  Time heals. Humans will never appreciate things till they've lost them, but i guess this line doesn't really apply to you cuz you weren't expecting anything in the first place.
  
  All you can do, is look forward to the new year.
• elindra

  27 Dec 04, 16:49

  
  
  I guess it would be better if the words he used wasn't that strong.
• kopiosatu

  27 Dec 04, 16:50

  Originally posted by elindra:

  
  
  I guess it would be better if the words he used wasn't that strong.

  the least you could do... is to understand how he feels too.
• elindra

  27 Dec 04, 16:55

  I understand how he feels
  
  BUt I really thought that he has gotten over it and it has been such a long time. But I guess I am wrong
  
  I only hope now that he will get over it faster than before
  
  But that is like wishful thinking......
  
  Hiaz......
  
  I wonder if he will respond to my email. I think that is wishful thinking as well.
• EricDraven

  27 Dec 04, 16:58

  Sorry this is happening to you elindra...
  
  Hope you know that there're friends here who share your sorrows...
  
  Hope time will heal your wounds quickly...
• HENG@

  27 Dec 04, 17:00

  Originally posted by elindra:

  I understand how he feels
  
  BUt I really thought that he has gotten over it and it has been such a long time. But I guess I am wrong
  
  I only hope now that he will get over it faster than before
  
  But that is like wishful thinking......
  
  Hiaz......
  
  I wonder if he will respond to my email. I think that is wishful thinking as well.

  theres a story behind it? well yeah i went thru the same thing this june. someone i considered one of my best friends did the same to me.
• elindra

  27 Dec 04, 17:07

  There is always a story behind it.
  
  I did write a short summary in page 1. But I guess it is not sufficient enough to describe everything since it spanned over a decade.
  
  Anyway I am hoping for the best now. My only hope now is that he does not hurt himself and someone else emotionally.
  
  Hiaz
• HENG@

  27 Dec 04, 17:09

  Originally posted by elindra:

  There is always a story behind it.
  
  I did write a short summary in page 1. But I guess it is not sufficient enough to describe everything since it spanned over a decade.
  
  Anyway I am hoping for the best now. My only hope now is that he does not hurt himself and someone else emotionally.
  
  Hiaz

  well... i hope u get over it faster than i do.
• HENG@

  27 Dec 04, 17:14

  well ok... i read thru the summary. the main thing is that he needed to break off the friendship to forget. guess what. thats the same reason served on me for my case. it sucks.
• boy in blues

  27 Dec 04, 17:16

  Originally posted by elindra:

  There is always a story behind it.
  
  I did write a short summary in page 1. But I guess it is not sufficient enough to describe everything since it spanned over a decade.
  
  Anyway I am hoping for the best now. My only hope now is that he does not hurt himself and someone else emotionally.
  
  Hiaz

  find him a gf. that's your payback to him for lost time
• elindra

  27 Dec 04, 17:16

  Originally posted by HENG@:

  well... i hope u get over it faster than i do.

  Thanks Heng
• elindra

  27 Dec 04, 17:18

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  find him a gf. that's your payback to him for lost time

  He has a gf now
  But he is in a relationship for all the wrong reasons
  
  The thing is that his gf is also my friend and its so damn unfair to her. Anyway, you can't force a person to like someone
• HENG@

  27 Dec 04, 17:19

  Originally posted by elindra:

  Thanks Heng

  no problem.
• boy in blues

  27 Dec 04, 17:22

  Originally posted by elindra:

  He has a gf now
  But he is in a relationship for all the wrong reasons
  
  The thing is that his gf is also my friend and its so damn unfair to her. Anyway, you can't force a person to like someone

  it's good you know his gf. you can impart to her what he likes about you. she will make the effort to duplicate you. time will change his feelings for her. human emotions are not as steadfast as you think. relationships can be forged and broken as well
• HENG@

  27 Dec 04, 17:24

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  it's good you know his gf. you can impart to her what he likes about you. she will make the effort to duplicate you. time will change his feelings for her. human emotions are not as steadfast as you think. relationships can be forged and broken as well

  if u're asking her friend to become elindra herself so that the guy might love her fren, i think thats totally wrong. we love ppl for who they are, we do not change someone into our "fantasy lover" to love them. doing so is as good as living a lie.
• elindra

  27 Dec 04, 17:27

  Are you crazy? How am I going to mould someone to be like me?
  
  It's totally wrong! Plus there is no way she is going to be like me. I can't force her to like the things I do.
• nightzip

  27 Dec 04, 18:36

  hmm...from what i gather,
  think he made a good choice??
  
  cuz its better for you and him to be a pure platonic relationship. u are married mah...and maybe he got a gf and want to be faithful to her lor..
  
  just my 2 cents worth.
• elindra

  27 Dec 04, 20:32

  Thanks for listening people.
  
  Anyway he sent another msg which really hurt me.
  
  I have msged our mutual friends that we are no longer friends
• kopiosatu

  27 Dec 04, 20:35

  well... xmas is over.
  
  new year's next week. if you plan to cry, stop on the 31st and start anew
• elindra

  27 Dec 04, 20:37

  Originally posted by kopiosatu:

  well... xmas is over.
  
  new year's next week. if you plan to cry, stop on the 31st and start anew

  I've finished crying
  I have come to terms with it and I will leave it up to him
• Rhonda

  27 Dec 04, 20:38

  Elindra, I think he just needs some space to try and forget you because apparently, for all those years, you weren't strictly just a platonic friend. He had been entertaining all those hopes and wishes and yearnings of the two of you being a couple and now, he's feeling totally depressed because of the outcome.
  
  Give him some time. He might just get over it. Expect to see him jump into relationships in the meantime because some folks do get into relationships quickly when they're 'on the rebound'. Not quite fair to the other party involved but not everyone understands the need to mourn losses instead of trying to fill that vacuum.
  
  I have this bus analogy I often tell friends : Consider your life as a bus ride. Some folks get up at one stop and stay with you for the entire journey, till you finally reach your bus depot. Others get on at one stop, and then alight at the next. Yet others would board and stay with you for quite a few stops before alighting. Not everyone would complete the bus journey with you.
  
  It's hard to face the death of a friendship that lasted so long but maybe, he's acting in the only way he knows of forgetting you and thinking of you in 'that' manner. He might finally come to his senses, the pain might no longer be acute, and he might just contact you again in the future. Or, he might never get over it, we don't know. I understand how you feel though and if I were to lose a friend like that, I would be
  
  You know how to get hold of me if you need to talk.
  
• kopiosatu

  27 Dec 04, 20:38

  Originally posted by elindra:

  I've finished crying
  I have come to terms with it and I will leave it up to him

  nice to hear that
  
  now i dunno whether to cry or be happy