Obstacles to Love?
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Hey I'm glad my hubby is an exception... if he had wanted a girl with good looks, I'd be a goner!!Originally posted by EricDraven:I think polls have shown that guys go for looks while girls go for character... Yes, guys are cheap...
It's statistically proven... but of course there are abnormalies...
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An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie
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Nicely said neuros... I think you captured my views as well...Originally posted by neuros:when i was younger, looks mattered. they're not everything, but they mattered. i loved it when friends came up to me and whispered in my ear, "hey, he's cute huh, you lucky gal..." it was shallow, of course, but we all are, to a certain extent, especially at a time of juvenescence, naivete and exploration. but they're not everything. it'd have to be coupled with chemistry and mutual adoration. i loved him for who he is, not just what he looked like.
with age, one gets more forgiving and gets a broader perspective.
as i grow older, i find that looks still matter, albeit in a different way. i think now, all that really matters is i find him pleasing to me. i wanna look at him and feel my heart skip a bit every time it happens. and no, that does not mean he has to be devastatingly handsome, heart-breakingly smothering or anything like that. i guess it all boils down to that elusive thing called chemistry. someone whom you didn't know might appear to be an average joe at first glance, but with further contact and understanding, and consequently admiration/love, that same person could be transformed in your mind's eye into the most attractive person in the world.
i guess tho, in the same vein, if i find that person physically repulsive at first glance, it's probably highly unlikely i'd make an effort to really further the friendship, that's taking things to extremeties, of course...
Oh and Shallow Hal is showing on Channel 5 tomorrow (Sun 12th) at 7.15pm...
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You're being too modest, SL...Originally posted by SydneyLibrarian:Hey I'm glad my hubby is an exception... if he had wanted a girl with good looks, I'd be a goner!!
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aww thanks, Eric!Originally posted by EricDraven:You're being too modest, SL... 
But seriously, my nose occupies 1/4 of my face already!! 
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It isn't that bad lah!!!!! Samuel's ex was nicknamed 'Big Nose and Noddy' remember?Originally posted by SydneyLibrarian:aww thanks, Eric! But seriously, my nose occupies 1/4 of my face already!! 
Yah, I was quite naughty then! hehehe! -
Hey neuros, you seldom post but when you do, whoa... what you say really packs a punch!Originally posted by neuros:when i was younger, looks mattered. they're not everything, but they mattered. i loved it when friends came up to me and whispered in my ear, "hey, he's cute huh, you lucky gal..." it was shallow, of course, but we all are, to a certain extent, especially at a time of juvenescence, naivete and exploration. but they're not everything. it'd have to be coupled with chemistry and mutual adoration. i loved him for who he is, not just what he looked like.
with age, one gets more forgiving and gets a broader perspective.
as i grow older, i find that looks still matter, albeit in a different way. i think now, all that really matters is i find him pleasing to me. i wanna look at him and feel my heart skip a bit every time it happens. and no, that does not mean he has to be devastatingly handsome, heart-breakingly smothering or anything like that. i guess it all boils down to that elusive thing called chemistry. someone whom you didn't know might appear to be an average joe at first glance, but with further contact and understanding, and consequently admiration/love, that same person could be transformed in your mind's eye into the most attractive person in the world.
i guess tho, in the same vein, if i find that person physically repulsive at first glance, it's probably highly unlikely i'd make an effort to really further the friendship, that's taking things to extremeties, of course...
I totally agree with what you have written... chemistry does play a part and as we grow older, what we look for changes too. I guess as long as you can open your eyes in the morning, look over at him sleeping soundly on his side of the bed without feeling repulsed, there's hope!
hehehe! -
Hehehe... thanks! I remember I used to crack you and a few other friends up.Originally posted by SydneyLibrarian:ROFL!! I love your imaginative mind sometimes!! Yea... I wonder what business would be like for Lee Hwa or any of the other jewellers if they ever came up with an ad like that! In fact, an ex-colleague once told me that he loved to have lunch with me because I'm like the resident clown. hehehe!
Time heals all wounds... I'm slowly resurfacing once again. -
before i met my bf, i always wanted to find someone who is tall (as in maybe about 1.75 and above)--though i am not so tall too...
My bf is in fact not tall at all--1.6 to 1.65. and now we are getting married...
So i would say that whatever u seem to care about before the relationship starts, might not stand when u r indeed involved... -
errrm... can't remember who his ex was leh.... *scratch head*Originally posted by Rhonda:It isn't that bad lah!!!!! Samuel's ex was nicknamed 'Big Nose and Noddy' remember? Yah, I was quite naughty then! hehehe! -
One of my fave memories of you cracking me up is when you tried to mimic certain radio announcers/news announcers voices, remember?Originally posted by Rhonda:Hehehe... thanks! I remember I used to crack you and a few other friends up. In fact, an ex-colleague once told me that he loved to have lunch with me because I'm like the resident clown. hehehe!
Time heals all wounds... I'm slowly resurfacing once again.
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agree....Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:haven't you met someone you felt physically unattractive at first, and slowly this person just GROWS on you? It's very funny, but when you begin enjoying the presence of this person, his bald patch slowly doesn't matter anymore and you start to find his super bright grin cute, his belly doesn't matter anymore and you start to develop a liking for bearish guys... his pockmarked skin doesn't matter anymore and you get so amused and turned on by his easy going charm and sense of humour
and then all of a sudden, you don't understand why you didn't see all this in the first place?!
there was this guy from my sec sch.. always thot that he was very average lookin... then one day when i suddenly realised that he's rather cute when he smiled... got a bit of dimples over there.... n also realised that he's a very sweet guy... not liek those insenstive guys in our class last time.. 
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Yup..Originally posted by fennymouse:before i met my bf, i always wanted to find someone who is tall (as in maybe about 1.75 and above)--though i am not so tall too...
My bf is in fact not tall at all--1.6 to 1.65. and now we are getting married...
So i would say that whatever u seem to care about before the relationship starts, might not stand when u r indeed involved... -
Originally posted by neuros:as i grow older, i find that looks still matter, albeit in a different way. i think now, all that really matters is i find him pleasing to me. i wanna look at him and feel my heart skip a bit every time it happens. and no, that does not mean he has to be devastatingly handsome, heart-breakingly smothering or anything like that. i guess it all boils down to that elusive thing called chemistry. someone whom you didn't know might appear to be an average joe at first glance, but with further contact and understanding, and consequently admiration/love, that same person could be transformed in your mind's eye into the most attractive person in the world.
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exactly...loving everything about your partner..Originally posted by Rhonda:Love is not blind... it just CHOOSES to be blind to the physical flaws because of the love for that person. It's the conscious choice to be blind that is the beautiful, touching thing here, I think.
Seeing Perfect in every imperfection...
that is love. -
duplicate
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re-read this topic title again...
i would think one of the biggest obstacles would be... emotional baggage...
and the fear such baggage brings about paralysing people..
alas... -
i admit ..... i'm not blind ..... and i like to see beautiful thingsOriginally posted by Rhonda:Say you have fallen in love with someone because of their character but they happen to have physical attributes that you dislike, for eg. they're too fat / skinny, eyes too small, face too big, nose too big/small/out-of-shape / dented, balding, not chiobu / yandao, whatever...
Would this affect how you feel towards him/her? Would this stop you from considering them as your boyfriend/girlfriend?
It's easy to quote cliches like 'love will overcome everything', 'the character matters more than outward appearances', etc. but be brutally frank and share what you really feel about this. -
So, erm... any of you know any archaeologists?Originally posted by kops21:An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie -
Come to think of it, we can be our own greatest obstacle to love in a way.
Ever heard of the concept of being 'The Right Person at the Wrong Time'? If there's something in you that's not ready to fall in love and be in a relationship, then even if you met the right person, nothing would happen, simply cause you're not ready for a relationship at this point in your life.
Once you're ready, and you meet someone else who's ready, even if he/she is not totally as compatible with you as others you've met before or who have yet to meet, you'd still have a relationship. Maybe that's when you have 'The Not-So-Right Person at the Right Time'.
Big headache... looks like if 'shi chen wei dao' (your time hasn't arrived yet), you can't do anything about it. -
Whatever happens, happens...
I prefer to flow with fate...
Spare me the trouble of thinking too much...
The more you think, the more troubled you become... -
True, true, Eric! But you know me, usually think too much and then talk nonsense.Originally posted by EricDraven:Whatever happens, happens...
I prefer to flow with fate...
Spare me the trouble of thinking too much...
The more you think, the more troubled you become... -
Thats what i'm feeling nwOriginally posted by Rhonda:Come to think of it, we can be our own greatest obstacle to love in a way.
Ever heard of the concept of being 'The Right Person at the Wrong Time'? If there's something in you that's not ready to fall in love and be in a relationship, then even if you met the right person, nothing would happen, simply cause you're not ready for a relationship at this point in your life.
Once you're ready, and you meet someone else who's ready, even if he/she is not totally as compatible with you as others you've met before or who have yet to meet, you'd still have a relationship. Maybe that's when you have 'The Not-So-Right Person at the Right Time'.
Big headache... looks like if 'shi chen wei dao' (your time hasn't arrived yet), you can't do anything about it. -
Oh... that your 'shi chen wei dao'? Ack! That's a horrible state of lingo to be caught in.Originally posted by duotiga83:Thats what i'm feeling nw -
Sometimes, when I feel down, I sing the song 'Yu Jian' by Stephanie Sun to myself. It's a form of catharsis! hehe.
The chorus is especially meaningful. Not sure if there's an online translation somewhere but I'm too lazy to go hunt for it so my loose translation of the chorus would be :
Whom shall I meet? What kind of conversations would we have?
How far away in the distant future would I finally meet the one I'm waiting for?
I hear the howl of the wind, coming from the underground and the ocean of people
I take my place in the queue for love, waiting with my ticket no. in hand...
Oh goodness gracious... it actually sounds pretty tacky! hahaha!!!