Obstacles to Love?
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Yeah, I understand...Originally posted by Rhonda:Eric, matters of the heart are not always that easy to deal with. You can be optimistic but you also have to be realistic. Knots in the heart not easy to undo. It does take time sometimes... ultimately, time heals all wounds.
Such things cannot be trivialised one.
I only wish things could be simpler... I can only try and hope... -
Love is hard work.
Barring big fights and conflicts, even the basic process of two people slowly discovering and adjusting to each other's habits, personalities and characters already requires work and effort.
The thing about love is, despite the hell you he/she makes you go through, you believe the outcome makes it all worthwhile.
The easy part may only begin when the relationship is stable... and even then, its still work
Just look at any long term married couples, you might see a simple, strong relationship on the surface. But below that facade, there's usually still alot of tolerance, compromise and forgiving going on.Originally posted by EricDraven:Life and love is really that simple, if you want it to be...
I hate complications and I will let it go if need be...
Why make life hard for yourself? -
Is it so hard to tolerate the faults of the one you love, compromise a little and forgive the one you love?Originally posted by choco B:Love is hard work.
Barring big fights and conflicts, even the basic process of two people slowly discovering and adjusting to each other's habits, personalities and characters already requires work and effort.
The thing about love is, despite the hell you he/she makes you go through, you believe the outcome makes it all worthwhile.
The easy part may only begin when the relationship is stable... and even then, its still work Just look at any long term married couples, you might see a simple, strong relationship on the surface. But below that facade, there's usually still alot of tolerance, compromise and forgiving going on.
I believe if two persons can work towards the same goal, love shouldn't be that hard...
What's hard though is finding that love...
I don't know, perhaps I'm just being unrealistically idealistic...
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It would depend on what kind of faults, what values to compromise on, what offence needs to be be forgiven. Everyone has their limits and convictions that cannot be compromised upon.
I think your easy-going nature makes you believe that you can do the world for someone you love. Which is good !
As a person who's critical and borderline anal by nature, I believe everyone is difficult to love. A love that endures despite the sh|t we put each other through, that's what's real to me.Originally posted by EricDraven:Is it so hard to tolerate the faults of the one you love, compromise a little and forgive the one you love?
I believe if two persons can work towards the same goal, love shouldn't be that hard...
What's hard though is finding that love...
I don't know, perhaps I'm just being unrealistically idealistic... -
Eric, you just can't trivialise the difficulties couples DO face as they slowly merge and start life as a family unit.Originally posted by EricDraven:Is it so hard to tolerate the faults of the one you love, compromise a little and forgive the one you love?
I believe if two persons can work towards the same goal, love shouldn't be that hard...
What's hard though is finding that love...
I don't know, perhaps I'm just being unrealistically idealistic...
Even if you've known a person for donkey years and think you know him/her inside-out, there's still a lot of surprises in store and learning and compromising to do when you actually move in together. There are habits you never knew about each other, the different needs for privacy, different tolerance levels for various issues and circumstances, etc.
Ask any married couple... the first few months of living together can be the hardest. It can be little things like ... he leaves his cups wherever he finishes his drink without bothering to clean up; she leaves her hair in the shower clogging up the drain without bothering to remove it; and the all-time favourite - squeezing the tube of toothpaste from the end or helter-skelter any which way you want, etc etc.
Love can be the lubricant that smooths the path but it does not eradicate all obstacles and challenges. Love can bring two people together and bring on the commitment that 'No matter what happens, we're in this together and I will still love you' and that can actually help a couple surpass the trials they'll face. But, love does not mean you'll have a problem-free time. -
oh yea... first few YEARS, in fact! (for my parents & some other couples I know). Each person has been brought up in a different way, with different expectations, so much so that when they marry another person, it's like stepping into a whole new 'culture' - so many strange things they didn't know about their other half now reveal themselves to the person once they start living together!Originally posted by Rhonda:...
Ask any married couple... the first few months of living together can be the hardest. It can be little things like ... he leaves his cups wherever he finishes his drink without bothering to clean up; she leaves her hair in the shower clogging up the drain without bothering to remove it; and the all-time favourite - squeezing the tube of toothpaste from the end or helter-skelter any which way you want, etc etc.
...
But, going thru' the ups and downs together, adjusting to each other's likes/dislikes, and still loving each other at the end of the day, is indeed a very admirable trait I find in lots of older couples. I always think "Aww... isn't that sweet!" when I see an older couple holding hands, gazing into each other's eyes with love
Ok! enough rambling from me now
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The thing is... you can find someone to loveOriginally posted by EricDraven:Is it so hard to tolerate the faults of the one you love, compromise a little and forgive the one you love?
I believe if two persons can work towards the same goal, love shouldn't be that hard...
What's hard though is finding that love...
I don't know, perhaps I'm just being unrealistically idealistic...
even if two people love each other,
they can have completely different ideals in love.
different goals and priorities in life
and different expectations from each other.
What if
Its no longer a matter of tolerating a hot temper, or messy habits
but tolerating a petty nature, a bad gambling habit, am abusive partner?
What if
it is no longer a matter of compromising friday nites out with buddies, or where to have a meal, or the colour of bedsheets
but a matter of your own principles, values and beliefs?
It's easy to find someone to love.
it's hard to find someone you can keep on loving and the love can grow as both of you grow together. -
Eloquent!Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:The thing is... you can find someone to love
even if two people love each other,
they can have completely different ideals in love.
different goals and priorities in life
and different expectations from each other.
What if
Its no longer a matter of tolerating a hot temper, or messy habits
but tolerating a petty nature, a bad gambling habit, am abusive partner?
What if
it is no longer a matter of compromising friday nites out with buddies, or where to have a meal, or the colour of bedsheets
but a matter of your own principles, values and beliefs?
It's easy to find someone to love.
it's hard to find someone you can keep on loving and the love can grow as both of you grow together.
When you're single, you can do whatever you want. Once you're attached, you'll have to think of the other person as well.
Single or attached, there's beauty in both. -
so many wise words...
so much work to do...
all i can do is...
*nod wisely* -
In the first place, I wouldn't even be vaguely attracted to someone like that...Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:The thing is... you can find someone to love
even if two people love each other,
they can have completely different ideals in love.
different goals and priorities in life
and different expectations from each other.
What if
Its no longer a matter of tolerating a hot temper, or messy habits
but tolerating a petty nature, a bad gambling habit, am abusive partner?
What if
it is no longer a matter of compromising friday nites out with buddies, or where to have a meal, or the colour of bedsheets
but a matter of your own principles, values and beliefs?
It's easy to find someone to love.
it's hard to find someone you can keep on loving and the love can grow as both of you grow together.
If the person has changed over the course of time to someone unlike the one you originally loved, then either that person has to change back or you have to accept that the love is gone and you move on...
It's not easy to find someone to love. You're lucky if you can find someone you love, and miracle of miracles for that someone to love you back as much as you do.
Ignore me, I wish to continue as a hopeful (or hopeless) romantic, thinking that love is as simple as it is... -
wat happens if u love one who loved another??
aint it an obstacle too??? -
Unrequited love? Yeah... I think it was mentioned much earlier that that is one helluva huge and painful obstacle.Originally posted by BaByBoY:wat happens if u love one who loved another??
aint it an obstacle too???
What to do? ... Move on! Mei you yuan and you cannot force things. Wouldn't you rather find someone else who'd appreciate you for who you are and love you of his / her own free will than pine away for someone who obviously has no interest in you? I'd rather have a duet than go solo. -
yeah....... it takes two hands to clap... if that person u're yearning for doesn't even care about u... why stay... someday... u will find the one... that yearns to be with u like the way u wan to be with him/her....Originally posted by Rhonda:Unrequited love? Yeah... I think it was mentioned much earlier that that is one helluva huge and painful obstacle.
What to do? ... Move on! Mei you yuan and you cannot force things. Wouldn't you rather find someone else who'd appreciate you for who you are and love you of his / her own free will than pine away for someone who obviously has no interest in you? I'd rather have a duet than go solo.
but of cos there are times where u are confused... u can't help but to hold on... but as time goes by... things will get clearer... and u will know moving on is the best choice...
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Watch the movie "Closer" (Natalie Portman, Jude Law).Originally posted by BaByBoY:wat happens if u love one who loved another??
aint it an obstacle too???
Maybe you'll get an insight into this love/hurt thingy and what makes someone hurt the person he/she love. Then again, maybe you won't. Life just plain sucks sometimes. -
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'll be like heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived.
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak.
But if you feel like I feel.
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
Wish everyone find their true love!
I'm in LOVE!!!
In love with who, I don't know but I know there's surely someone out there, who will be my true love one day... -
Eric, in love with the idea of being in love? hehehe!Originally posted by EricDraven:I'm in LOVE!!!
In love with who, I don't know but I know there's surely someone out there, who will be my true love one day... -
yup...Originally posted by neuros:tat's in an ideal world...
life though, is rarely so simple...
if only...
sigh...
Love IS simple.. human complicates things... coz humans are complicated,thus life is complicated -
Hey Ms Faye Valentine, your premier membership expired...
Do sign up again before you leave yeah? -
Love that song!Originally posted by EricDraven:You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'll be like heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived.
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak.
But if you feel like I feel.
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
Wish everyone find their true love!
I'm in LOVE!!!
In love with who, I don't know but I know there's surely someone out there, who will be my true love one day... -
I need you baby, and if it's quite all right,Originally posted by SydneyLibrarian:Love that song!
I need you baby to warm a lonely night.
I love you baby. Trust in me when I say:
Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray.
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay.
And let me love you, oh baby let me love you, oh baby.... -
love defies logic .........Originally posted by Faye Valentine:yup...
Love IS simple.. human complicates things... coz humans are complicated,thus life is complicated
think about it and you will hate to love ..... -
What if two people love each other, but can't seem to get their act together? In the movie The Mexican, The Soprano guy's character asked Brad Pitt, if two people love each other but can't seem to get their act together, when is enough enough? Brad Pitt said "Never, because you love each other."Originally posted by EricDraven:Isn't love supposed to be a simple thing?
Looking at this thread, you probably think love is such a complicated matter with more problems than goodness...
Let's go back to the basics again, if loving someone is so difficult, it's probably not true love. True love is between two persons, each showing the same committment towards the relationship.
If love comes, love comes. Simple as that.
If love goes, then let it go. Simple as that.
Life is too long to do nothing, yet too short to do everything. So please keep to just the happy things...
Or what if there are external circumstances, such as lack of approval or finanacial circumstances?
Approval is not something that is absolutely necessary, but isn't it nicer when you've had the blessings of those who have been in your lives for a long time? -
Idealistic is good, better than being jaded and living a life of quiet desperation..Originally posted by EricDraven:Is it so hard to tolerate the faults of the one you love, compromise a little and forgive the one you love?
I believe if two persons can work towards the same goal, love shouldn't be that hard...
What's hard though is finding that love...
I don't know, perhaps I'm just being unrealistically idealistic...
Something Thoreau said. -
It wasn't easy for me to find someone I love. It was easier for me to find someone I like, but again that itself wasn't so easy either. (I'm hard to please. Ability to make good conversation is top priority and most people I've met don't satisfy that)Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:It's easy to find someone to love.
it's hard to find someone you can keep on loving and the love can grow as both of you grow together.
If it wasn't easy for me to find someone I love, I'd say that now that I have, it does take effort to make things work. I used to think if you need to put in effort, it's not meant to be. But he convinced me that this is not right. You'll always need to put in effort, 'cause it cannot be "my way or the highway" in relationships.
But having tasted unrequited love (I wouldn't really call that love now, else it'd be cheapening what I have now), I'd say finding someone you love and who loves you is a big deal. Mutual respect, giving each other the space to grow, grow with each other, cultivate hobbies together...
It's a lifetime of learning and sharing.
I don't want to be one of those people that Keats talked about ( http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=117816 ), those who will never taste real love and can only contend with mediocre love or love that ain't real love. It's in everyone's definition of what love is. But when you can bring yourself to cheat on your partner, I don't think it was ever love, and I feel sad for those people. They don't seem to have much of a pool of emotions and feeling to draw upon..
And with each milestone in life, you appreciate and love your partner more and never cease to wonder... how come he loves you too.. -
The last time I fell in love, I wrote this:
And then..
A careless smile
Self conscious and so painfully touching..
and then...
I'm already in love
Before that, my idealism was all I have to offer. (I'm still idealistic and believe people should know what love is but I am more aware of the limits of my idealism and some people will just never get it 'cuz they are too shallow)
My Window
As you walk home tonight
After yet another day
Of meaningless work
Please take the street that leads to my house
The one, sitting quietly, in waiting
Just two knocks on my window
IÂ’ll know itÂ’s you
IÂ’ll come running out
Right into your awaiting arms
Remember to come by my window tonight
WeÂ’ll hike out west
Out of our mundane lives
And
Into each otherÂ’s blooming paradise