Praises, Compliments, Appreciation...
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I often feel that most of us aren't expressive enough when it comes to dishing out praises, compliments and appreciation. Also, when someone else actually comes along and tells us something nice about ourselves, we often try to brush it off and become very 'uncomfortable'.
Maybe I get to see sudden death or a sudden inability to speak or sudden unconsciousness so much that I feel life's too short to not live it up to the fullest so I often like to let my friends know that I like them by telling them how special they are. Basically, I don't want those I love to not know how fond I am of them. Often though, people start getting very uncomfortable.
Example:
"You know, you're one of the sweetest people I know. I'm so lucky to have you as a close friend!"
"...
... 
... oh... erm... aiyah... hehe! No mah... I never do anything special one!" *nervous giggles
With caucasian friends, it's the reverse. They're often very expressive and whilst sometimes, you wonder if they're just being sincere or just being 'nice' and socially correct, it sure does feel good hearing positive things! (Especially if you are constantly in an environment where complaints and harsh words and rebukes are the order of the day.
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Maybe we ought to go out and tell a friend today how fond you are of them, how much you appreciate them and how special they are to you.
It'll definitely make their day!
(Hopefully, you don't scare them off... some folks just don't take compliments and appreciation very well! hahaha!
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Yeah.. i totally agree... we have to be more expressive, esp when it comes to our loved ones. Family.. friends.. partners..
Often we just keep the feelings to ourselves, taking for granted that those people who are close to us know how much we treasure them.
Why not let them know? Its always good when u hear it urself how much u are being treasured as a friend or as a family member rite? Why wait till the last minute? Seriously... have u told your mum lately tat u love her?
Heres one of my entry in my blog last year Sept.:
Friends
"I LOVE YOU"
that is the message i sent to some of my friends in msn two days back.
I thought i should let my friends know how much i love and adore them. How dear they are to me and that they are being treasured by me. Friends don't just come and go... they stay if you choose to let them stay and your life will be blessed with another gem.
If its not for what had been happening for the past one week, i wouldn't have come to realise the importance of friends. How important they are to me and my importance to them. If i have not been a good friend, give me another chance and more time, i want to be a better friend
Its never easy saying "I Love you". Especially to people you are really close to. I remember the first time i tried to say I love you to my auntie, she stared blank right back at me. Then i saw a faint and shy smile... and those three words came out from her back to me.
Its silly to know that we treat strangers nicer than people who are closest to us. Why is this so? and why are you letting this happen? Don't you love them? Don't you know how important these people are to you?
Let there be Love!!! Show appreciation... don't take for granted that they know. Tell them you love them. You never know if tomorrow will ever come... if given a choice, let the regrets that you gona have after you die be reduced by more.
So how many "I love you"s are you gonna say today? -
Whoa... Faye, that was very well-written indeed!
We take the same stand on so many issues, no wonder I feel close to you! Everytime I get a kind word or praise, I always keep those gems deep in my heart and ever so often, when I feel down, I take out those gems and start feeling cheerful again.
I see a lot of heart-wrenching situations at work very often. There will always be sons and daughters wailing away at the bedside of their comatose and dying parents, shouting and yelling at them to wake up and telling them how much they love and appreciate them but... it's all too late. Such things should have been said when the parents were still alive...
Or you see a group of friends standing around a comatose and dying buddy's bedside. All are crying, telling their buddy to wake up and how much they love him/her and will miss him/her but why didn't they say that to him/her when they were still alive? Now, they'll never ever know and the regrets for words unspoken, love unexpressed will weigh heavily on those who continue to live...
Ironic thing is, sometimes, when you walk up to your friends and tell them how special they are and how much you like them, a small handful would actually pull away. Weird, isn't it?
In my workplace, I've actually got to be careful since there are homo's and bi's around so don't want anyone to have the wrong idea! -
I often sms pple say 'I miss u', to my buddy i will say ' i love u buddy muackz' etc..v uncomfortable meh? Most feedbacks i get are postive.
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If I compliment a female friend, especially one I don't know very well, she usually thinks I'm trying to get fresh with her. Oh well.Originally posted by Rhonda:Ironic thing is, sometimes, when you walk up to your friends and tell them how special they are and how much you like them, a small handful would actually pull away. Weird, isn't it?
In my workplace, I've actually got to be careful since there are homo's and bi's around so don't want anyone to have the wrong idea! -
You must know that this is still an asian society, no matter how "westernized" we are. It's not like we are brought up to shout our feelings out to everybody we meet. Our parents don't go around declaring their love for us, so people grow up keeping their feelings to themselves. Personally, I don't think it's neccessary to keep giving compliments and nice comments to others, I think me and my friends have this sort of "connection", whereby we don't have to tell each other about our feelings or admiration or whatever, because we just know.
Besides, when people give compliments freely, do you think they really mean it? It's nice, to get a nice comment once in a while, but not too often, because I think that's just "sucking-up". -
Hahaha!Originally posted by Kuali Baba:If I compliment a female friend, especially one I don't know very well, she usually thinks I'm trying to get fresh with her. Oh well.
Yeah, it does get tricky when you try to compliment a member of the opposite sex! -
Oh yea...it doesOriginally posted by Rhonda:Hahaha!
Yeah, it does get tricky when you try to compliment a member of the opposite sex!
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Originally posted by Rhonda:Whoa... Faye, that was very well-written indeed! We take the same stand on so many issues, no wonder I feel close to you! Everytime I get a kind word or praise, I always keep those gems deep in my heart and ever so often, when I feel down, I take out those gems and start feeling cheerful again.
I see a lot of heart-wrenching situations at work very often. There will always be sons and daughters wailing away at the bedside of their comatose and dying parents, shouting and yelling at them to wake up and telling them how much they love and appreciate them but... it's all too late. Such things should have been said when the parents were still alive...
Or you see a group of friends standing around a comatose and dying buddy's bedside. All are crying, telling their buddy to wake up and how much they love him/her and will miss him/her but why didn't they say that to him/her when they were still alive? Now, they'll never ever know and the regrets for words unspoken, love unexpressed will weigh heavily on those who continue to live...
Ironic thing is, sometimes, when you walk up to your friends and tell them how special they are and how much you like them, a small handful would actually pull away. Weird, isn't it?
In my workplace, I've actually got to be careful since there are homo's and bi's around so don't want anyone to have the wrong idea! Love ACTUALLY is all around -
Another thing I want to point out is that when you have physical expressions of love, people look at you like freaks in Singapore.
My girlfriends and I do hug in public or kiss each other on the cheek as a greeting and people look at us like we are lesbians -
Hahahaha!!!Originally posted by elindra:Another thing I want to point out is that when you have physical expressions of love, people look at you like freaks in Singapore.
My girlfriends and I do hug in public or kiss each other on the cheek as a greeting and people look at us like we are lesbians
Well, you know my workplace is female-dominated, right? Recently, there's been problems cropping up again with colleagues who appear to have lesbian tendencies or who might be bisexual. Interesting and very challenging problems.
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I usually will give the compliments when I feel that the person deserves it
I don't give them too often because if I do, people wun think I am sincere enough when they receive my compliments
So I only give when it is appropriate
i.c.y -
That's the way it should be... sincere.Originally posted by icyprincess:I usually will give the compliments when I feel that the person deserves it
I don't give them too often because if I do, people wun think I am sincere enough when they receive my compliments So I only give when it is appropriate
i.c.y
When I have nothing to praise the person for and he/she is 'fishing for compliments', I just smile or grin ... and keep quiet. hehe! -
Rhonda!! Well I don't think showing affection constitutes one having lesbian tendencies or might be bisexualOriginally posted by Rhonda:Hahahaha!!!
Well, you know my workplace is female-dominated, right? Recently, there's been problems cropping up again with colleagues who appear to have lesbian tendencies or who might be bisexual. Interesting and very challenging problems. -
hehe yea, I think sincerity is very important. But I still think I am not that good at accepting compliments, prolly cos sometimes I feel like I dun deserve them or think the other party is just being sarcasticOriginally posted by Rhonda:That's the way it should be... sincere.
When I have nothing to praise the person for and he/she is 'fishing for compliments', I just smile or grin ... and keep quiet. hehe!
i.c.y -
Same here!!Originally posted by icyprincess:hehe yea, I think sincerity is very important. But I still think I am not that good at accepting compliments, prolly cos sometimes I feel like I dun deserve them or think the other party is just being sarcastic
i.c.y -
hehe...I realize it makes some ppl irritated when I dun accept their compliments graciously so now I just say thank you even when I am curious if they really mean itOriginally posted by SydneyLibrarian:Same here!!
i.c.y -
x 2....Originally posted by SydneyLibrarian:Same here!! -
Not expressive enuf.. how to? My siblings & I tend to express more 'hate' den love. And when i try to catch them to offer my warmest hugs of love, they would shun/kick/wrestle mi! Tsk tsk..Typical conservative family.
There was once i felt a very strong urge to tell my parents wat i really wan them to noe (though they already noe) but I juz couldn't bring myself to. So i wrote a msg, "Pa, Ma, WO AI NI MEN!" & stuck it in their room.
Next day, my mom came to mi &..... "SIAO-poh" -
I guess it depends on the individual.. some pple are juz not the expressive sort..
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hehe.... but I'm sure you made your parents' day that day!Originally posted by Camellias4me:Not expressive enuf.. how to? My siblings & I tend to express more 'hate' den love. And when i try to catch them to offer my warmest hugs of love, they would shun/kick/wrestle mi! Tsk tsk..Typical conservative family.
There was once i felt a very strong urge to tell my parents wat i really wan them to noe (though they already noe) but I juz couldn't bring myself to. So i wrote a msg, "Pa, Ma, WO AI NI MEN!" & stuck it in their room.
Next day, my mom came to mi &..... "SIAO-poh"