Unhappy couples intend to marry anyway: poll
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it is...
oh well.. i don't like people trying to run my life, so i have absolutely no right to attempt to run theirs... so i guess even when they choose that way, we have to respect that...
and.. in other news, i disagree with your tag on MSN now... vehemently
Originally posted by neuros:It's their lives.
It's their choices. -
Originally posted by the Bear:it is...
oh well.. i don't like people trying to run my life, so i have absolutely no right to attempt to run theirs... so i guess even when they choose that way, we have to respect that...
and.. in other news, i disagree with your tag on MSN now... vehemently
such a sweet bear...
with such good taste!
hiak hiak hiakz
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you've... you've... you've tasted me?
heh heh heh...
Originally posted by neuros:
such a sweet bear... -
really sad case..i come across some of my frds r lik tat..tat's wat they called compromise, no one is perfect ! as for me, i rather giv up the r/s even though i stil love tat person. Living together is always not easy...
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nope...Originally posted by the Bear:you've... you've... you've tasted me?
heh heh heh...
not yet, anyway...
hahaahaaaa...
n 99.99999999999999999999999999999999% not EVER...
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dang... there goes my big chance
muahahahahaha
back to the topic.. -
i will not get married for the sake of getting married... i dun see the point of getting married when both parties aren't happy with each other... sooner or later... it will end in a very ugly manner... what for...
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I saw this thread, and while reading it, I was reminded of what my friend once asked me. She asked if I would agree to marry had a very rich man proposed to me. I answered her with another question,"Do I love this man? If I do, then yes, I will."
I will only get into a r/s if I love the other person. Same goes for marriage. There will be no other reason.
i.c.y -
Eric, if you are not willing to compromise on your "love", I think you should never consider marriage.Originally posted by EricDraven:This is so kinda sad...
I wonder why do people marry without love in their heart.
Never compromise on your love, I always remind myself.
What could be more important in life than finding the true love of your life?
Honestly how do you know if that someone is your true love of life if you only know that person for a couple of years? How do you know you will be happy living together when you have never share a bed with that someone before?
One of the reason why 83% of singapore couple are not happy about their partners is because Singaporeans are too idealistic and like you said NEVER COMPROMISE. -
Yup, if I do have to compromise on my love, I most probably won't consider marriage at all...Originally posted by Gazelle:Eric, if you are not willing to compromise on your "love", I think you should never consider marriage.
Honestly how do you know if that someone is your true love of life if you only know that person for a couple of years? How do you know you will be happy living together when you have never share a bed with that someone before?
One of the reason why 83% of singapore couple are not happy about their partners is because Singaporeans are too idealistic and like you said NEVER COMPROMISE.
I like to think that when you're in love, you will know it and feel it. There's really no way to know if you will be happy living with another person in the future, you just have to follow your heart and take that leap of faith.
Of course, before taking that leap of faith, you have to be already happy with your partner under the current situation. In this case, these people are already unhappy before marriage, so what more after marriage?
I think part of the reason why such a relatively high proportion of Singaporeans are unahppy with their future partners is that they compromise too much. They marry for the sake of getting marriage, for reasons like marriage is the next logical thing to do after a long relationship, or because we're not getting younger, etc...
Lastly, where did you get your figure of 83% from? The article clearly states that 39% were unhappy in their relationships out of a poll of 719 couples who were planning to wed... -
lemme guess.. you'd rather compromise and be miserable, and spread it to your spouse who will be miserable too?
your choice, your lifeOriginally posted by Gazelle:Eric, if you are not willing to compromise on your "love", I think you should never consider marriage.
Honestly how do you know if that someone is your true love of life if you only know that person for a couple of years? How do you know you will be happy living together when you have never share a bed with that someone before?
One of the reason why 83% of singapore couple are not happy about their partners is because Singaporeans are too idealistic and like you said NEVER COMPROMISE. -
Maybe you have managed to find yourself that perfect gentleman that you can live with for the rest of your good life without having to compromise and be happy forever.Originally posted by the Bear:lemme guess.. you'd rather compromise and be miserable, and spread it to your spouse who will be miserable too?
your choice, your life
Having live with my wife for the past 5 years, I do know that no human beings are born to eat, think, sleep and talk the same. We are brought up from family of different background that treasure different family values. So what is right for you might not be right for your partners.
Honestly compromising doesnt neccessary have to leads you to misery, sometime it avoid unncessary argument or heated debate on common "hot" issues such as family, money and sex.
Living together with your partner 365 days a year is definitely not like going on a date 365 times a year.
Thats my view about marriage..and my life too.
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what about the marriage vows? is it all meaningless?
i can never understand how people can get married for the sake of getting married.
Getting married to your partner means you are gona go through thick n thin with him. Witness his life. Spend the rest of your life with him. Start a family of your own. A happy one. Raise your kids together. Watch them grow...
I mean, i just want to spend the rest of my lifetime loving the guy i married. Making sure every kiss means "I Love You"... every hug means "I need you"...
I want my marriage to be the most fortunate thing that has ever happen to me. well... i hope so -
your views
like you said, everyone's different, so why would you say that your compromising is superior to others who would rather be single and happy instead of married and miserable? -
If you are a divorcee I would respect your decision to be happy and be single because you have experience it before.Originally posted by the Bear:your views
like you said, everyone's different, so why would you say that your compromising is superior to others who would rather be single and happy instead of married and miserable?
If you are a single (or just being "attached") and telling me that married life is miserable, I would say that you are smoking crack. -
did i say married life is?
i would say that if a couple who is already miserable with each other, should give it up rather than marry and compound their misery..
sheesh, you read selectively don't you?
in your own words, that's some mighty powerful crack you're smokin' -
"single and happy instead of married and miserable" Ring a bell?Originally posted by the Bear:did i say married life is?
i would say that if a couple who is already miserable with each other, should give it up rather than marry and compound their misery..
sheesh, you read selectively don't you?
in your own words, that's some mighty powerful crack you're smokin' -
Ever heard of the term, 'co-habitation'? Wake up... a lot of couples cohabit before marriage and that offers them a 'sneak preview' of what married life with each other would be like since they are actually already husband-and-wife not in name but in deeds.Originally posted by Gazelle:If you are a divorcee I would respect your decision to be happy and be single because you have experience it before.
If you are a single (or just being "attached") and telling me that married life is miserable, I would say that you are smoking crack.
Singles can also learn about married life from their friends / relatives / colleagues who are married. The trick is to observe what's happening around you, and talk to people. I mean, do you need to get into an accident to know that drunk driving is unsafe? Do you need to smoke crack to learn stuff like that? DOH!
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No doubt what you described is an ideal situation, but sometimes, in fact often times, things somehow turn out differently after marriage.Originally posted by Faye Valentine:what about the marriage vows? is it all meaningless?
i can never understand how people can get married for the sake of getting married.
Getting married to your partner means you are gona go through thick n thin with him. Witness his life. Spend the rest of your life with him. Start a family of your own. A happy one. Raise your kids together. Watch them grow...
I mean, i just want to spend the rest of my lifetime loving the guy i married. Making sure every kiss means "I Love You"... every hug means "I need you"...
I want my marriage to be the most fortunate thing that has ever happen to me. well... i hope so
Courtship, romance, fall in love, being in love with the idea of falling in love & marriage, honeymoon etc etc is really the easy part. Piece of cake.
Making the marriage work takes a massive massive effort & great sacrifice. After marriage, the demands on your time from work, family, kids (if any) will increase exponentially as will your committments & respobsibility. All married couples will experience some degree of disillusionment eventually.
It's how you handle & sort out these issues that determines whether a marriage works or not. -
the first step to a happy marriage is Belief.Originally posted by S402.4i:No doubt what you described is an ideal situation, but sometimes, in fact often times, things somehow turn out differently after marriage.
Courtship, romance, fall in love, being in love with the idea of falling in love & marriage, honeymoon etc etc is really the easy part. Piece of cake.
Making the marriage work takes a massive massive effort & great sacrifice. After marriage, the demands on your time from work, family, kids (if any) will increase exponentially as will your committments & respobsibility. All married couples will experience some degree of disillusionment eventually.
It's how you handle & sort out these issues that determines whether a marriage works or not.
Of coz , there will be up and downs, we are not living in an ideal world, nothing is perfect. With love as the base, i am sure me and my husband can always work things out. Even thou it means there might be arguements, but i always believe there is sunshine after then rain and you will see the rainbow very soon. -
Are you married Faye?
You speak of love as the base ........ its all well and good. Just know that life has an uncanny way of testing the depths of human love .......
Nevertheless, your positive attitude is commendable, and it should bring your far
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It is best to find someone who shares the same values & have similar background before getting married so there won't be so many problems to adjust.
When disagreement arises, best to communicate & compromise. Some couple keep quiet or ignore it, slowly the resentment starts to build. They start to lead separate lives.
If the person is not suitable & there are lots of quarrels during courtship, best not to marry. Don't believe u can change him or the problems will go away.
Don't leap into marriage or u will regret. -
would definitely prefer co-inhabitation..
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Wah Rhonda, do you expect everybody to allow their daughters and sons to cohabit before getting married? You think you are buying cars huh? test driving before buying. Do you know that cohabitation usually contribute to unwanted babies and unplanned marriage due of pregnancy?Originally posted by Rhonda:Ever heard of the term, 'co-habitation'? Wake up... a lot of couples cohabit before marriage and that offers them a 'sneak preview' of what married life with each other would be like since they are actually already husband-and-wife not in name but in deeds.
Singles can also learn about married life from their friends / relatives / colleagues who are married. The trick is to observe what's happening around you, and talk to people. I mean, do you need to get into an accident to know that drunk driving is unsafe? Do you need to smoke crack to learn stuff like that? DOH!
You have said it right, it is only a sneak preview. And sneak preview only show you the best part of the movie!!
Everybody will have their own version of marriage life, and I think it is not that important to talk to everybody about it because every relationship is unique and they all comes with different challenges. So what might work for your friend might not necessary work for you, and vice versa. -
I agree. Agree most with "Don't believe u can change him or the problems will go away."Originally posted by gerrykoh:It is best to find someone who shares the same values & have similar background before getting married so there won't be so many problems to adjust.
When disagreement arises, best to communicate & compromise. Some couple keep quiet or ignore it, slowly the resentment starts to build. They start to lead separate lives.
If the person is not suitable & there are lots of quarrels during courtship, best not to marry. Don't believe u can change him or the problems will go away.
Don't leap into marriage or u will regret.
I think most people become unhappy in a relationship when their expectations are not met and when they put their own interests first.
sorry, new here and can't help but dig up old threads.