Guys, if you loved a lady...
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such a post in club 30??!!! ni mei shi guo ah?!!Originally posted by shinta:if i'm above 29, i would go for adoption, IF i wan a kid...
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love is the thing
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Hmm... preference wise, I prefer to have my own kid.
And if my future wife is baren, I'd rather leave it that way and love my wife more and more each day.
Better still isn't it? No kids - all the love is focus on wife only.
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I am still undecided if I want to have babies.Originally posted by Rhonda:... would the fact that she might not be able to bear you children put you off marrying her?
If you're a lady, share your views on adoption here!
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well, teh older u get, the higher the chances of ur child not that healthy or gettin birth defects..Originally posted by browniebaobao:29 not v old wor...wei shen me bu yao zi ji sheng?
i'm not like some parents out there...
if i can prevent my kid from sufferin, i wouldn wan to bring them to earth...
an example, er.. health problems.. sometimes, the parents knew long time beforehand that the child will have some kind of illness or sth, but they insist on givin birth.. tehy believe that they can give their child a normal life..
that is selfish.. u're cringing an innocent life to earth to suffer.. u might say otherwise.. but.. that's my view..
esp since my health isn that great either.. if possible, i dun wanna give birth at all -
That's kinda true!Originally posted by keuriseudo:Hmm... preference wise, I prefer to have my own kid.
And if my future wife is baren, I'd rather leave it that way and love my wife more and more each day.
Better still isn't it? No kids - all the love is focus on wife only. If no kids, then the couple can be in an 'er ren shi jie' (just-the-two-of-us kinda world) and can be totally erm... spontaneous at home. 
Also, if you look at a lot of marriages today, things start to go downhill when children come into the picture because there are disagreements over how to discipline the children, how to bring them up, etc etc. ... and when compromises are not made, it escalates into arguments, disagreements, pent-up anger, etc etc.
I guess parenthood isn't for everyone although everyone seems to think otherwise. -
Originally posted by shinta:well, teh older u get, the higher the chances of ur child not that healthy or gettin birth defects..
i'm not like some parents out there...
if i can prevent my kid from sufferin, i wouldn wan to bring them to earth...
an example, er.. health problems.. sometimes, the parents knew long time beforehand that the child will have some kind of illness or sth, but they insist on givin birth.. tehy believe that they can give their child a normal life..
that is selfish.. u're cringing an innocent life to earth to suffer.. u might say otherwise.. but.. that's my view..
esp since my health isn that great either.. if possible, i dun wanna give birth at all
I understand what u mean..esp when it's an illness that can he inherited.
Well..even if u are very healthy, it doens't mean that ur baby will be boirn healthy. Sorry, no offence..but juz wana share a story..
i had a tutor..she is very petite..but a lady with great courage and determination. When she found out from the doc that the child that she was carrying had a high risk of getting down's syndrome, she had a talk with her hubby, and they were very determined to bring the child to this world and love him/her. Hence, they both tried to get support from their parents but failed..her parents even wanted to disown her..but she love the child in her stomach..and she persisted..many quarrels they had..pple dun understand, against their wish of giving birth...but she was very determined...and had a tough time in labor..she did not take any painkillers, did not get any jab or 'laughing gas' or watever..she said she wanted to go thru the natural process and experience it..it took hours...the pain..the struggle...i find her very noble...she showed us the video in class....and fortunately the child is healthy. The child din come in time for Baby bonus ya..haha..but they weren't expecting that...
Actually most pple have high/low blood pressure, asthma etc...if they all dun wana give birth, then wat happens to our population? Unless ur health dun allow u to get pregnant..if not, i feel that children are a gifts from heaven..and i'm very against the idea of abortion unless it will endanger the mother's life.. -
Originally posted by Rhonda:That's kinda true! If no kids, then the couple can be in an 'er ren shi jie' (just-the-two-of-us kinda world) and can be totally erm... spontaneous at home.
Also, if you look at a lot of marriages today, things start to go downhill when children come into the picture because there are disagreements over how to discipline the children, how to bring them up, etc etc. ... and when compromises are not made, it escalates into arguments, disagreements, pent-up anger, etc etc.
I guess parenthood isn't for everyone although everyone seems to think otherwise.
I think otherwise...i feel that a marriage without kid has a higher risk of getting a divorce..at least when there is a new born in the family, the father will be motivated to work harder for the family, better if he would appreciate his lovely wife for bringing the little precious into the family...and would be more loving and responsible for the family..suo wei 'ai qing jie jing'..i think that it does make a difference to marriage....my cousins like children so much, they have 3 kids each now..looking at them..it seems that they dun think 3 is enough. -
Havent really exp this kinda situation b4.. anyway.. settling down is no where near my top priorities right now..
Anyway.. i guess i'll be disappointed n maybe even distraught.. but i'll still love my soulmate deeply.. n probably adopt kids.. -
wat is down syndrome?Originally posted by browniebaobao:
I understand what u mean..esp when it's an illness that can he inherited.
Well..even if u are very healthy, it doens't mean that ur baby will be boirn healthy. Sorry, no offence..but juz wana share a story..
i had a tutor..she is very petite..but a lady with great courage and determination. When she found out from the doc that the child that she was carrying had a high risk of getting down's syndrome, she had a talk with her hubby, and they were very determined to bring the child to this world and love him/her. Hence, they both tried to get support from their parents but failed..her parents even wanted to disown her..but she love the child in her stomach..and she persisted..many quarrels they had..pple dun understand, against their wish of giving birth...but she was very determined...and had a tough time in labor..she did not take any painkillers, did not get any jab or 'laughing gas' or watever..she said she wanted to go thru the natural process and experience it..it took hours...the pain..the struggle...i find her very noble...she showed us the video in class....and fortunately the child is healthy. The child din come in time for Baby bonus ya..haha..but they weren't expecting that...
Actually most pple have high/low blood pressure, asthma etc...if they all dun wana give birth, then wat happens to our population? Unless ur health dun allow u to get pregnant..if not, i feel that children are a gifts from heaven..and i'm very against the idea of abortion unless it will endanger the mother's life..
anyway, to me, any mother, who upon realising that their unborn child has a high chance of gettin affected with sth, and still decided to have the baby, is selfish.
she can say i will shower my child with all teh love, but... how would the child feel?
everybody is thinkin about themselves, but strangely, nobody tot about the child.. -
down syndrome = baby is retarded..
but remember this... it's a life... all life is sacred... with love, even down syndrome people can live happy and fulfilling lives... -
What is down's syndrome? Perhaps u would like to read more from here
http://www.ndss.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=About.NDSS -
Originally posted by the Bear:down syndrome = baby is retarded..
but remember this... it's a life... all life is sacred... with love, even down syndrome people can live happy and fulfilling lives...
Agrees with Bear..it also has the right to live on..No parent would want to see their child unhealthy..so it's also not them to blame right? -
As much as lfe is sacred.. i'm pro-abortion. I dun condone indiscriminate infanticde but rather abortions neccessary to avert future problems n anguish. The child born with down syndrome may not be aware of his condition but imagine the discrimination he unknowingly gets.. note the sadness n various difficulties the parents have to go thru to raise him. In life there is no such thing as black n white.. good n evil. There r many grey areas. Abortion isnt right but neither is it completely wrong.Originally posted by the Bear:down syndrome = baby is retarded..
but remember this... it's a life... all life is sacred... with love, even down syndrome people can live happy and fulfilling lives... -
i'm anti-abortion.. simply because sometimes, i think it's a cop-out...
don't want to be responsible, it's a way to say "i'm responsible enough to kill my own baby so that my baby does not suffer"
since when are humans a commodity and since when can we kill someone just because of our own convenience?
if there is anyone selfish, it's the parents isn't it?
no one asked for the life to come to be, but then, diminished responsibility is becoming more and more prevalent these days...
doing the right thing doesn't matter anymore as long as we have copouts...
and that is scary... and VERY dehumanising... -
Perhaps the child will be discriminated by others..but hey, do u discriminate pple with down's syndrome?
It's a life, it's a gift..ya..should not juz abort it because of one's selfish thoughts..I believe in retribution too..if u abort it this time round, next time if u wana have kids, u might not get any..be responsible for ur own actions. -
well... that is wat we tink.. how do we actually noe for sure?Originally posted by the Bear:down syndrome = baby is retarded..
but remember this... it's a life... all life is sacred... with love, even down syndrome people can live happy and fulfilling lives...
i have a confession to make...
when i was young, around 5? there was a guy who lived in my blk.. tink he has down syndrome.. everytie, when we see him, we would run in all kinds of direction to avoid him...
who would like this?
that was the meanest thing i ever did to anybody... at tat time... of course i did meaner stuff as i grew older... -
X2Originally posted by Gackt247:As much as lfe is sacred.. i'm pro-abortion. I dun condone indiscriminate infanticde but rather abortions neccessary to avert future problems n anguish. The child born with down syndrome may not be aware of his condition but imagine the discrimination he unknowingly gets.. note the sadness n various difficulties the parents have to go thru to raise him. In life there is no such thing as black n white.. good n evil. There r many grey areas. Abortion isnt right but neither is it completely wrong. -
i dun discriminate them now.. but i sure avoid that boy like plague when i was little...Originally posted by browniebaobao:Perhaps the child will be discriminated by others..but hey, do u discriminate pple with down's syndrome?
It's a life, it's a gift..ya..should not juz abort it because of one's selfish thoughts..I believe in retribution too..if u abort it this time round, next time if u wana have kids, u might not get any..be responsible for ur own actions.
especially once when i was playin with frenz, n he pushed one of the boys down.. u noe.. playgrounds they have this thing there rite? from teh top of the thing lo.. -
Originally posted by shinta:i dun discriminate them now.. but i sure avoid that boy like plague when i was little...
especially once when i was playin with frenz, n he pushed one of the boys down.. u noe.. playgrounds they have this thing there rite? from teh top of the thing lo..
wow....
that's dangerous!
But then cannot blame him also la...bu dong shi mah. -
That is what my hubby's opinion also...He prefers juz the two of us...Originally posted by keuriseudo:Hmm... preference wise, I prefer to have my own kid.
And if my future wife is baren, I'd rather leave it that way and love my wife more and more each day.
Better still isn't it? No kids - all the love is focus on wife only. -
Rhonda, my hubby will be happy to meet u....the two of u always have the same idea....Originally posted by Rhonda:That's kinda true! If no kids, then the couple can be in an 'er ren shi jie' (just-the-two-of-us kinda world) and can be totally erm... spontaneous at home.
Also, if you look at a lot of marriages today, things start to go downhill when children come into the picture because there are disagreements over how to discipline the children, how to bring them up, etc etc. ... and when compromises are not made, it escalates into arguments, disagreements, pent-up anger, etc etc.
I guess parenthood isn't for everyone although everyone seems to think otherwise.
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Its often not the partner who has an issue about having kids although some do mind... But its more often the in-laws who start compaining and comparing you to the sow of a sister-in-law who kept having babies after babies (like a pig) and the nosy relatives who don't know how to shut up and start gossips/rumours/comparisons. The eventuality is that if the marriage breaks up, perhaps due to in-law intervention (introducing a fertile woman to the son so as to bear offsprings) or whatever incompatibility reasons, the infertile person (especially if its a woman) will bear the brunt of all the nasty remarks and snide looks that she's barren and thus nobody wants a barren woman and her infertility cause her marriage to break down and the husband to seek other women and is so justified.
social conditioning. -
my folks gave birth to me by accident .. my mom was 35 then. In those times, this is very unusual and dangerous as medical technology was lousy... They are now in their late 60s, early 70s. But I think health wise, I am no different from anyone... Its just that I don't really care about my health that I am not as "good" as my peers. Although genetically, I loose out to my older siblings in certain places. This said, older mothers does not always means the child will have issues.Originally posted by shinta:well, teh older u get, the higher the chances of ur child not that healthy or gettin birth defects..
i'm not like some parents out there...
if i can prevent my kid from sufferin, i wouldn wan to bring them to earth...
an example, er.. health problems.. sometimes, the parents knew long time beforehand that the child will have some kind of illness or sth, but they insist on givin birth.. tehy believe that they can give their child a normal life..
that is selfish.. u're cringing an innocent life to earth to suffer.. u might say otherwise.. but.. that's my view..
esp since my health isn that great either.. if possible, i dun wanna give birth at all -
yeah..but the point is.. grown ups and children are different... for children, when they see someone different from them, most would shun or poke fun at teh poor kid... only a small handful wouldn do that....Originally posted by browniebaobao:
wow.... that's dangerous!
But then cannot blame him also la...bu dong shi mah.