Sad taxi ride yesterday - a bit of a social commentary?
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well, i was coming home from camp yesterday and decided to take a cab from yishun coz i needed to rush to Muddy Murphy's...
got into a cab and cabbie started to talk, asking me if i was doing my reservist and all that..
so, after a while, he asked if i had children, and as always, i tell him the standing gag that i'm single and no one wants me...
well it got kinda sad... he said that it would be best if i didn't coz these days, people are materialistic.. then he started to lament his own daughter's direction in life..
seems that she got married a few years ago, and the couple does not have children... the husband was retrenched and seemed to be trying his damnest to find a new job but was unsuccessful.. and because of that, she's going to divorce him.. and in his words, "look for someone who can afford to take care of her"..
i was kinda stunned..
he kept lamenting how cheapened the marriage is and that his daughter is like that.. and where he and his wife had gone wrong in bringing her up and her values...
i was very quiet as i didn't know what to say...
what the heck is going on these days when the sanctity of marriage is ignored and a marriage is a "financial safehouse" to some people?
i wonder if there are men who are like that daughter of the cabbie?
with that, is it not a wonder that some are seeking mates overseas? those without such.. i dunno.. i'm at a loss for words... -
That's one more reason to add to my disillusions of marriage, love yadah yadah..
CAREER MONEY CAREER MONEY!!! -
well, i would say that we need to learn all about our partner.. more than anything...
love plays a key, but i have learnt that it will not solve everything..
but then, looking at the cabbie's daughter, was there love in the first place in her marriage?
if i ever do get married, it would be the primary factor
the world may go their way, but i would still be, the hopeless and hopeful romantic
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Bear.. i wish u best of luck..
For me.. i guess love n me juz dun get along together.. so i'll juz put it aside for now.. -
hey, cupid strikes when you least expect
well, hope you'll be happy whatever you decide to do -
It'll be alot happier for others if i dun step into their lives..Originally posted by the Bear:hey, cupid strikes when you least expect
well, hope you'll be happy whatever you decide to do -
Last evening, I attended a play, 'Adultery', directed and written by Lionel Chok, a college mate and friend of a close buddy. In the 'Playwright's Statement', he wrote some stuff that caught my attention :
"In the last 12 months, three of my married friends and two distant acquaintances were officially divorced... which was - quite shocking to me 'cause most of them were only married for that same period of time... Apparently, this was not uncommon in Singapore as statistics revealed that divorce rates reached a record level last year - with 1.91 cases per thousand residents - a significant 11% increase from the previous year.
"Which is kind of funny - well ... to me - when you seriously think about it... If you had made it through from courtship to marriage, how did the relationship break down after you made the commitment official? Is marriage the death of romance, etc? Now - I know and have heard thousands of reasons before, but let's face it : Relationships are truly mind-boggling... Add friendship to the mix and you can be sure your life will be anything but normal. ... ... ...
Makes you stop in your tracks and think...
By the way, the play's on tomorrow at 3pm and 8pm at The Substation - Guiness Theatre, tickets are at $20 each. It's a good play, catch it if you can!
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Marriage in order to have a FULL-TIME FOOD voucher
I dont know about others, i always get turn off by women who keep claiming that she wants to be a tai tai.
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I've been stopped on my tracks several times.. abruptly too..Originally posted by Rhonda:Last evening, I attended a play, 'Adultery', directed and written by Lionel Chok, a college mate and friend of a close buddy. In the 'Playwright's Statement', he wrote some stuff that caught my attention :
"In the last 12 months, three of my married friends and two distant acquaintances were officially divorced... which was - quite shocking to me 'cause most of them were only married for that same period of time... Apparently, this was not uncommon in Singapore as statistics revealed that divorce rates reached a record level last year - with 1.91 cases per thousand residents - a significant 11% increase from the previous year.
"Which is kind of funny - well ... to me - when you seriously think about it... If you had made it through from courtship to marriage, how did the relationship break down after you made the commitment official? Is marriage the death of romance, etc? Now - I know and have heard thousands of reasons before, but let's face it : Relationships are truly mind-boggling... Add friendship to the mix and you can be sure your life will be anything but normal. ... ... ...
Makes you stop in your tracks and think...
By the way, the play's on tomorrow at 3pm and 8pm at The Substation - Guiness Theatre, tickets are at $20 each. It's a good play, catch it if you can! -
It's true that you "find" love when you're not looking for it.Originally posted by the Bear:hey, cupid strikes when you least expect
well, hope you'll be happy whatever you decide to do
However love can sometimes be a distant dream. Looks perfect from far, but when you get into it, you realise that there are many imperfections. Like you've said, love is not enough. Sadly that is true. -
Kops, most of my colleagues at work are wholesome ladies who aren't materialistic at all. They work hard to chip in with the family expenses and in no way do they leech on their husbands. I admire them all. I see them struggling to make a living but they are totally committed to their marriages and they have the tenacity and pureness of character to not kop out when times get tough. I've seen a few of them weather their husbands' retrenchments, illness in the family, sudden unexpected large expenses, etc without ever ever considering divorce as an option. And whilst we joke about being tai-tai's, we all have our feet firmly planted on the ground.Originally posted by kops21:Marriage in order to have a FULL-TIME FOOD voucher
I dont know about others, i always get turn off by women who keep claiming that she wants to be a tai tai.
After a while, you learn to see the qualities in them that separate them from the materialistic women. It become glaringly obvious. If I were a guy, I'd be able to sieve out the good women from the materialistic ones. I really consider a few of them as my role models. I'm very lucky to have known them and be in their midst.
There are good folks out there... it's just kinda hard to find them because they hide in the forest like mousedeer. The ones who flaunt around and get admired and noticed like deer should not be mistaken for the elusive mousedeer!
Hmm... ok, that sounded kinda clumsy.
What I meant to say was, if a guy goes around looking for a trophy wife, very often, when the gold veneer rubs off, you'll see that the shine was just a layer of polish. Gold nuggets are often not so attractive but the value and shine is all hidden. Choose wisely, choose carefully.
I've known guy friends who have girlfriends who seem to talk incessantly about fashion, beauty, spas, resorts, branded stuff, jewellery, hairstyles, boutiques, clubbing, etc... now, THAT's one BIG danger sign. But, sadly, they don't SEE. They love her charms, her girly ways, how cute she is, how pretty, etc... but they are not listening to the things she has her heart and mind on all the time.
The nature of my job exposes me to raw human emotions a lot. There are wives whose first thoughts are, 'Where's the money going to come from now? How am I to pay the household bills?' when their husband falls ill. They'll start to have panic attacks, and become nervous wrecks. They'll suddenly refuse to even touch their husbands sometimes, choosing instead, to order the nursing staff around. Wipe the spittle, trim the nails, etc ...
Then, there are those who love their husbands so much, they come and visit everyday and quietly do things for their husbands like sit by his bedside massaging his limbs, combing his hair, shave his moustache, trim his nails, etc. They'll even talk to him, even if he's unconscious, and play his favourite music, and bring prayer items, photos, etc. Love, and great strength of character... I get so touched by these wives and feel their husbands are so blessed to have married them.
Look at the lady, look at her friends and her family, scrutinise her, listen to what she says, observe how she lives her life... She might not be pretty or she might be a tad clumsy, or seem boring, etc... but if she has a heart of gold, cherish her because ultimately, when illness and poverty strikes, it's not the surface veneer that matters. -
i once posted in a similar thread "most marriages these days is nothing more than a business contract where both parties seek to remain finacially-viable. "
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similarly, i despise my sister and admire my mum.
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thing is that, most of the time, we hear of these things as views.. of one of the people saying that "the modern singaporean woman is materialistic" and then degenerating into a flamewar or something so full of cliches..
or some guy ranting against a girl who left him or something like that..
but this time, it was damned real.. you can hear the anguish, the pain, the confusion of a man just trying to figure out what went awry.. someone who suddenly realised he didn't know his own child, his own flesh and blood..
frankly, i've never come across anyone or any incident where someone left their partner because of money... this was, so sad, and in many ways, so heartbreaking.. the depth which humanity can sink to.. is depressing... -
Some thoughts on superficiality..Originally posted by the Bear:thing is that, most of the time, we hear of these things as views.. of one of the people saying that "the modern singaporean woman is materialistic" and then degenerating into a flamewar or something so full of cliches..
or some guy ranting against a girl who left him or something like that..
but this time, it was damned real.. you can hear the anguish, the pain, the confusion of a man just trying to figure out what went awry.. someone who suddenly realised he didn't know his own child, his own flesh and blood..
frankly, i've never come across anyone or any incident where someone left their partner because of money... this was, so sad, and in many ways, so heartbreaking.. the depth which humanity can sink to.. is depressing...
It's when the crap hits the fan, then and only then will the immature ladies wake up and say, hey, that guy whom I think was good but boring, is actually the best choice for me..But too late, Mr Nice Guy might not have waited that long.For those that do, girls, better cherish him.Not many guys have such substance these days.
And vice-versa too.Don't be too enamoured by the slick and style of the girl you're after.Instead of going after her features, try to understand her soul, how she interacts, what kinds of stuff she thinks important.Sad but true, there are increasing numbers of superficial people. bimbos and him-bos who are totally clueless and only focused on getting rich and looking naff.
Be aware, open your eyes and cherish those worth doing so before you lose them for good. -
ya sad..what a realistic world. To each his own..some people feel secure only when they have money..no money it's like the end of the world. Even some rich frens I noe have that thinking..
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"realistic" is a terrible word coz it's wrong...
the reality is that if you are going to marry for money and it's the only thing that is keeping you with your spouse, you're never going to be happy.. and you're not much better than a prostitute..
that's my brutally blunt view.. -
well, no money, no honey?
sad but real...
makes me skeptical of why shld pp get married?
nowadays the piece of paper doesn't mean anything at all... -
well, start the change by not bowing to the stupidity of where society is moving
for in the end, these things are our own.. the relationship is personal and our own..
and if we recognise it, and choose not to follow, and do the right thing, we winOriginally posted by coolger03:well, no money, no honey?
sad but real...
makes me skeptical of why shld pp get married?
nowadays the piece of paper doesn't mean anything at all... -
easier said than done.... it's not easy to go against the flow...Originally posted by the Bear:well, start the change by not bowing to the stupidity of where society is moving
for in the end, these things are our own.. the relationship is personal and our own..
and if we recognise it, and choose not to follow, and do the right thing, we win
ppl will see u as outcast.... -
never said it was easy
the right things are rarely easy... but ultimately, it's easier than living with a conscience telling you that you've done wrong..Originally posted by coolger03:easier said than done.... it's not easy to go against the flow...
ppl will see u as outcast.... -
Originally posted by the Bear:never said it was easy
the right things are rarely easy... but ultimately, it's easier than living with a conscience telling you that you've done wrong..
u mean ppl nowadays has got conscience? 
i know i sound cynical tonite... but can't help it...
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don't lose faith
and never lose hope.. for hope is one of the things that keep us humanOriginally posted by coolger03: u mean ppl nowadays has got conscience?
i know i sound cynical tonite... but can't help it... -
We can also say that there is actually no change since the day humans roam the land...Originally posted by the Bear:well, i was coming home from camp yesterday and decided to take a cab from yishun coz i needed to rush to Muddy Murphy's...
got into a cab and cabbie started to talk, asking me if i was doing my reservist and all that..
so, after a while, he asked if i had children, and as always, i tell him the standing gag that i'm single and no one wants me...
well it got kinda sad... he said that it would be best if i didn't coz these days, people are materialistic.. then he started to lament his own daughter's direction in life..
seems that she got married a few years ago, and the couple does not have children... the husband was retrenched and seemed to be trying his damnest to find a new job but was unsuccessful.. and because of that, she's going to divorce him.. and in his words, "look for someone who can afford to take care of her"..
i was kinda stunned..
he kept lamenting how cheapened the marriage is and that his daughter is like that.. and where he and his wife had gone wrong in bringing her up and her values...
i was very quiet as i didn't know what to say...
what the heck is going on these days when the sanctity of marriage is ignored and a marriage is a "financial safehouse" to some people?
i wonder if there are men who are like that daughter of the cabbie?
with that, is it not a wonder that some are seeking mates overseas? those without such.. i dunno.. i'm at a loss for words...
In the past, man marry to continue their genes and woman for someone to protect and provide for them. Though time has changed and woman do not need to marry just for the sake of finding someone to protect and provide for them as they are more independent now. However, we cannot forget that the purpose to get together is for survival.
In the modern world, one needs money to survive, especially in singapore... since she can't find what she needed in the marriage anymore, she decide to find it elsewhere... everyone will be looking for different things in different situations, and if it cant be found, s/he finds it elsewhere... -
the mark of humanity is that we improve and become more than animal...
have we?
i hope we have... i want to be someone who can say i have
we all have aspirations