Sad taxi ride yesterday - a bit of a social commentary?
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true in many ways
i offer nothing tangible so i get... nothingOriginally posted by elindra:It's kinda like fishing. The 'fish' you attract really depends on the lure or bait you use. If you use a sincere and loving heart, tendancy of you getting a girl who loves you for who you are. If you use money, what else do you expect to attract? -
This line made me ponder long and hard, don... (Yeah, me still thinking, still thinking! hehehe!Originally posted by the_don:The decision to be together for life should not be lowered to a level of 'Need'. It should be a 'Want' -
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I know of a few single ladies who have a comfortable financial nest, have their own accommodation, are independant and confident, dress well, are pretty and have a large group of friends.
These are the people who wouldn't be entering into a marriage out of a 'need'. They have all their needs met already so the likelihood of them getting married because of a 'want' is much higher.
On that same trend of thought, 'needy' folks (this applies to guys too) might be a 'red flag'. -
Some people are just in love with the idea of being in love. Same with the idea of being married. They're lost in some idealistic dream of romance and togetherness.
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yeah.. i fell into that trap before..
i wonder if experience will teach this fool?
but then, love makes fools out of the wisest of people, doesn't it? -
I used to have a GF of 3 yrs she the kind of girl everyone like sweet , demure, filial....... alas last years suddenly she was was swamped with suitors (5 in total), everyone of them much more eglible than me, younger, they drive nice car, live in condo (one of them) , making at least 5 K per month. She left me for one of them, but I do not blame her cos I love her and felt she deserve some one better. This is the reality of life, to each of his or her best....
Of Course deep down I am hurt , i am bleeding , i want to cry but could not , I missed her and love her so much until today. But I wish her the best whereever she is .......... -
poor you...
well, i think someone out there would appreciate and deserve that kind of love you can offer
strangely, i've read through the Aunt Agony threads a lot, seems that many out there cannot fathom that we can love the person even when we let go...
but still, i think there'll be someone out there for you
don't give up and you'll find her! -
hmmm... wanna say something... hope i dun get hantam'd...Originally posted by seancannot:I used to have a GF of 3 yrs she the kind of girl everyone like sweet , demure, filial....... alas last years suddenly she was was swamped with suitors (5 in total), everyone of them much more eglible than me, younger, they drive nice car, live in condo (one of them) , making at least 5 K per month. She left me for one of them, but I do not blame her cos I love her and felt she deserve some one better. This is the reality of life, to each of his or her best....
Of Course deep down I am hurt , i am bleeding , i want to cry but could not , I missed her and love her so much until today. But I wish her the best whereever she is ..........
but... cannot dun say...
in cases like these, seems like the natural reaction ppl get is that she left the poor guy for the rich guy bcos, well, bcos the rich guy's rich.
i dun deny. there're definitely these kinda cases around. but NOT all are due to that reason. ain't this, like, reverse discrimination?
why couldn't the girl have liked the rich guy for who he is, for making her laugh, for making her feel loved, for giving her joy?
why couldn't she have left the poor guy because she no longer loves him, he no longer makes her laugh, she's no longer happy with him, he doens't spend enough time with her?
i mean, all these are possible, no? but when people hear stories like these, the automatic reaction is: "yes, she left the poor poort guy because the rich guy can give her a better life. poor poor guy."
that is so unfair.
might not be the case here. am not speculating at all what is the actual case. i'm just trying to make a point that a lot of things are not as simple as it seems. and it's not fair to pass conclusions based on one's prejudiced view. -
Neuros, I know what you're getting at, and I kinda agree too. Thing is, we tend to seek solace at the end of a love relationship and well, we just tend to gravitate towards the more attractive notions as a sort of salve and balm for the hurting soul and bleeding heart. Natural human reaction, I guess.
Also, a lot of times, once we lose a person, we end up placing him / her on a pedestal where he / she appears more flawless than they really are. Suddenly, no one else can hold a candle to him / her...
I guess different folks engage different mechanisms to get over a breakup... -
i scanned through the posts and see lotsa valid points.
however, i feel like being controversial today.
so, my tots:
* materialism is not a new trend - look at the olden day story of pan jinlian of wu song da hu and his brother.
* materialism is not limited to singapore - look at... everywhere else around you
it's human nature. it's personal choices. it's judgement call.
p.s. i'm not supporting the taxi driver's daughter. jus feel argumentative.
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neuros is right... but there are some gold-diggers out there, of both genders too...
sadly..
i guess we would pass judgement quickly.. too quickly.. but there are those who will leave for love and the partner's bank account is immaterial...
still, have to give it to seandude.. he hopes she has a better life with someone else, and has no hard feelings
that's rare.. -
Ah, Neuros, the devil's advocate tonight!Originally posted by neuros:i scanned through the posts and see lotsa valid points.
however, i feel like being controversial today.
so, my tots:
* materialism is not a new trend - look at the olden day story of pan jinlian of wu song da hu and his brother.
* materialism is not limited to singapore - look at... everywhere else around you
it's human nature. it's personal choices. it's judgement call.
p.s. i'm not supporting the taxi driver's daughter. jus feel argumentative. -
Guess you r rite on the above, she told me about this guy which she met n was impress with his attitude , his value , guess he is a much better man than me as a person and material wise.Originally posted by neuros:why couldn't the girl have liked the rich guy for who he is, for making her laugh, for making her feel loved, for giving her joy?
view.
I did not neglect her for the last 3 years, infact I wanted to spend everyday with her.......
From the posting from last few authors Rhonda , I can tell the author has been thru these all , falling in and out of love.
We all cherish these hope of somthing more beautiful and better waiting at the other end of the road. For me these has still remained as a hope..sooner or later .. may cupid sent her angel to me again... Life just carry on... -
hey sean, like i said, maybe the fates have someone else lined up for you?
someone who can love you as well as you can love back?
never lose hope -
I just find it so sad that when a guy did everything he can to satisfy a girl and tried his darnest best to love her, the girl still left him in the end.
I can understand if love is no longer there, but it's still sad especially when the guy never changed his character and still love the girl as much as they first started courting. So is it the girl who has changed?
It's always heart-smashing when you tried to do everything for a girl and the girl tells you you are doing everything wrong. What has gone wrong in the course of this relationship?
The jokes that you used to say to make her laugh can no longer do the trick. Those intense late-night conversations you once had with her are no longer engaging to her. Those stupid habits you had and which she once said it's cute only seem to piss her off now. She no longer looks at you with a sparkle in the eye and a smile. But you still love her, as much as or even stronger than when you two first started dating.
Of course, the genders can always be reversed.
It's no fault of any person that such things can happen. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be... but I still find such things sad.
I think I'm quite out of point here but since I wrote so much, might as well post it. -
hi sean, i'm sorry for the hurt you're going through. hope you'll get over it in good time...Originally posted by seancannot:Guess you r rite on the above, she told me about this guy which she met n was impress with his attitude , his value , guess he is a much better man than me as a person and material wise.
I did not neglect her for the last 3 years, infact I wanted to spend everyday with her.......
From the posting from last few authors Rhonda , I can tell the author has been thru these all , falling in and out of love.
We all cherish these hope of somthing more beautiful and better waiting at the other end of the road. For me these has still remained as a hope..sooner or later .. may cupid sent her angel to me again... Life just carry on...
just wanna clarify - i'm not implying that you neglected her.
what i said was very generic. like i said, not speculating what happened between you and your ex. just making a general remark. dun take it personally, k?
it seems that you are a sensible and sweet guy. dun worry. what will be will be. meanwhile, enjoy life as much as you can!
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i guess most of us would have experienced the above at some time or another...Originally posted by EricDraven:I just find it so sad that when a guy did everything he can to satisfy a girl and tried his darnest best to love her, the girl still left him in the end.
I can understand if love is no longer there, but it's still sad especially when the guy never changed his character and still love the girl as much as they first started courting. So is it the girl who has changed?
It's always heart-smashing when you tried to do everything for a girl and the girl tells you you are doing everything wrong. What has gone wrong in the course of this relationship?
The jokes that you used to say to make her laugh can no longer do the trick. Those intense late-night conversations you once had with her are no longer engaging to her. Those stupid habits you had and which she once said it's cute only seem to piss her off now. She no longer looks at you with a sparkle in the eye and a smile. But you still love her, as much as or even stronger than when you two first started dating.
Of course, the genders can always be reversed.
It's no fault of any person that such things can happen. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be... but I still find such things sad.
I think I'm quite out of point here but since I wrote so much, might as well post it.
i know i did. it's heartbreaking. but inevitable.
change might not be attributable to just one person. it could be that the chemistry just changed. circumstances change. timings change. environment change. mentality change. needs change. wants change.
we all want different things at different stages of life. i think it's a matter of whether both parties change at the same pace and in the same direction to continue satisfying each other's emotional needs. if they can, then good. if not, then it's just too bad.
sound cold and brutal? well, that's life, dear.
and all we mere mortals can do is accept it and move on bravely towards a new beginning. -
Reminds me of an old old song from Cher... 'in the end, we all sleep alone...'Originally posted by neuros:i guess most of us would have experienced the above at some time or another...
i know i did. it's heartbreaking. but inevitable.
change might not be attributable to just one person. it could be that the chemistry just changed. circumstances change. timings change. environment change. mentality change. needs change. wants change.
we all want different things at different stages of life. i think it's a matter of whether both parties change at the same pace and in the same direction to continue satisfying each other's emotional needs. if they can, then good. if not, then it's just too bad.
sound cold and brutal? well, that's life, dear.
and all we mere mortals can do is accept it and move on bravely towards a new beginning.
It can be very heartbreaking to find out that the other person does not cherish you as much as you cherish him/her. Or like what Eric said, that what once used to amuse him/her no longer exacts the same mesmerising charm on them.
All of us are different and we operate on different levels of needs and wants. However, central to the core of everyone is a need to be loved and accepted for who we really are. The more transparent you render yourself to your loved one, the more vulnerable you become and subsequently, the worse the hurt when the axe falls.
And yet, knowing all these, experiencing all these too, we still carry this teeny hope in our hearts that somewhere out there is someone meant for us. And so, we trudge on...
"A memory of a happy moment
That's what this day will someday be
Life goes on, Love goes free..."
- Andrew Lloyed Weber, 'Aspects of Love' -
Eric, what you wrote really made an impact... Memories...Originally posted by EricDraven:I just find it so sad that when a guy did everything he can to satisfy a girl and tried his darnest best to love her, the girl still left him in the end.
I can understand if love is no longer there, but it's still sad especially when the guy never changed his character and still love the girl as much as they first started courting. So is it the girl who has changed?
It's always heart-smashing when you tried to do everything for a girl and the girl tells you you are doing everything wrong. What has gone wrong in the course of this relationship?
The jokes that you used to say to make her laugh can no longer do the trick. Those intense late-night conversations you once had with her are no longer engaging to her. Those stupid habits you had and which she once said it's cute only seem to piss her off now. She no longer looks at you with a sparkle in the eye and a smile. But you still love her, as much as or even stronger than when you two first started dating.
Of course, the genders can always be reversed.
It's no fault of any person that such things can happen. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be... but I still find such things sad.
I think I'm quite out of point here but since I wrote so much, might as well post it.
It gets worse the older you get cause it'll most likely mean that you're burdened with more nasty memories. It can get you jaded, make you more cautious and all...
Like a few of my colleagues agreed, it's easier to fall in love when you're in your 20's. Life's a bit less complicated and you have less emotional baggages, less fears, less bad experiences that might hinder you.
In your 30's, you would become a slow-starter when it comes to love, the fire takes a longer time to ignite because of reservations, fears, bad experiences, being more demanding, expecting more out of your future partner, inner tussle between being single or take that big jump and become attached, etc. Makes you less prepared, less willing to take the plunge and fall in love, no holds barred. -
ya haha that's life. Sometimes i think all i really need is a dog and my right hand. Life would be so much less comlicated.
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Originally posted by lwflee:ya haha that's life. Sometimes i think all i really need is a dog for companionship and my right hand. Life would be so much less comlicated.
There's a saying out there, 'The more people I know, the more I love my dog', or might I take the liberty to amend it to 'the more I love my CAT'. -
hey, we all change...
and when it diverges, it can be sad...
but heck.. it hurts.. we keep trying...
what is wonderful is when people do not succumb to cynicism and keep looking -
Love came late for me ... I only taste it when I was in my 30s .....when I was in my 20s ......my fren cheered me on , telling me its ok cos the best and most lasting love is often the latest .. well I am already in my mids 30s when will my true love come.......Its sad rite ..... that we are here lamenting about lost love and broken heart...... how I wish we could be here sharing my joy and happiness of a blissful relationship.............those of you with your loves one beside you...... should tell yourself how blessed and fortunate you are!!!
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so that explains everything.......Originally posted by Rhonda:Eric, what you wrote really made an impact... Memories...
It gets worse the older you get cause it'll most likely mean that you're burdened with more nasty memories. It can get you jaded, make you more cautious and all...
Like a few of my colleagues agreed, it's easier to fall in love when you're in your 20's. Life's a bit less complicated and you have less emotional baggages, less fears, less bad experiences that might hinder you.
In your 30's, you would become a slow-starter when it comes to love, the fire takes a longer time to ignite because of reservations, fears, bad experiences, being more demanding, expecting more out of your future partner, inner tussle between being single or take that big jump and become attached, etc. Makes you less prepared, less willing to take the plunge and fall in love, no holds barred.
*just talkin to myself.. ignore me please.. -
I'm sorry to hear that sean...
Your nickname says alot.
But don't be demoralised! As long as you keep socialising there's always a chance of meeting her.Originally posted by seancannot:Love came late for me ... I only taste it when I was in my 30s .....when I was in my 20s ......my fren cheered me on , telling me its ok cos the best and most lasting love is often the latest .. well I am already in my mids 30s when will my true love come.......Its sad rite ..... that we are here lamenting about lost love and broken heart...... how I wish we could be here sharing my joy and happiness of a blissful relationship.............those of you with your loves one beside you...... should tell yourself how blessed and fortunate you are!!! -
after readin thru the posts, i feel tat i've grown... a little in a weird way.. a way most ppl do thru experiencing.. but i learn from ppl's experience..
that applies more towards page 3 of this topic.. i couldn understand a lot of stuff earlier... but now i do.. thank you guys
continue posting!