How much must be my pay to be consider Eligible
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Not at all... don't mean to boast, i WAS making close to $4.5K gross when i was 28. Then i took a 40% pay cut to chase my dream.... which remains a dream...Originally posted by dragg:futuresguy's comment that $2500 salary is a bit on the low side!!!
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When I was younger, I thought money doesn't really matter that much. Enough to be comfortable on our combined income, to provide for my parents, to be able to afford occasional pampering of ourselves, that's all I ask for. No need for condos, cars, country clubs, extravagant luxuries etc.
But I was young then. And very very naive.
It's not a simple matter of figures - he must earn $X per month. No. It's also a matter of relativity. x > y or y > x. It's a matter of pride.
Though he might've said he won't mind you earning more than him initially, as time goes by and the gap gets wider, the differences become more evident, and the relationship marred increasingly. Any idealism goes right out the window.
It's a bitter bitter lesson.
So my personal criteria? He must earn more than me. If not now, then in the not-too-far future.
Of course, like i said, it's just my personal criteria. Not saying it's right or it's desirable. No. Just don't want to go through the same old same old again. And hey, fortunately or unfortunately, I'm not earning that much to render me inaccessible.
The degree of eligibility depends largely on the type of girl you wanna be eligible for. -
Ok note taken!Originally posted by neuros:... ...
So my personal criteria? He must earn more than me. If not now, then in the not-too-far future.
... ...
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but isnt it unrealistic to base a relationship on how much the man earns relative to the woman.Originally posted by neuros:When I was younger, I thought money doesn't really matter that much. Enough to be comfortable on our combined income, to provide for my parents, to be able to afford occasional pampering of ourselves, that's all I ask for. No need for condos, cars, country clubs, extravagant luxuries etc.
But I was young then. And very very naive.
It's not a simple matter of figures - he must earn $X per month. No. It's also a matter of relativity. x > y or y > x. It's a matter of pride.
Though he might've said he won't mind you earning more than him initially, as time goes by and the gap gets wider, the differences become more evident, and the relationship marred increasingly. Any idealism goes right out the window.
It's a bitter bitter lesson.
So my personal criteria? He must earn more than me. If not now, then in the not-too-far future.
Of course, like i said, it's just my personal criteria. Not saying it's right or it's desirable. No. Just don't want to go through the same old same old again. And hey, fortunately or unfortunately, I'm not earning that much to render me inaccessible.
The degree of eligibility depends largely on the type of girl you wanna be eligible for.
who can guarantee that the man wont lose his job after marriage? who can guarantee that the woman wont forge ahead? does that leave divorce the only option? -
it's being realistic...Originally posted by dragg:but isnt it unrealistic to base a relationship on how much the man earns relative to the woman.
who can guarantee that the man wont lose his job after marriage? who can guarantee that the woman wont forge ahead? does that leave divorce the only option?
n i did keep emphasising - my PERSONAL criteria...
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Most of the time, it's the man who's more concerned that he's earning less than the woman...
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well i personally think who is earning more than who shouldn't even be an issue...
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agree...Originally posted by EricDraven:Most of the time, it's the man who's more concerned that he's earning less than the woman...
it's really not so much the money issue. it's the ego and potential points of conflict. i guess for me, one bad experience (lasting 4 yrs!) is more than enough.
of course not saying this should apply to everyone. definitely not. i believe that there can still be happy couples where the girl earns more than the guy. never denied that. never will. i just don't believe i will be one of them.
i'll probably need loads of convincing that he doesn't, won't and will never mind... and even then, that might not be enough.
perhaps i'm jus too jaded by my personal experience. but that shouldn't stop anyone else from trying!
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ehh... u edited your quote?Originally posted by EricDraven:Ok note taken!
well i was about to say that your initial reply was interesting. -
well, i thought exactly that when i was your age!Originally posted by Faye Valentine:well i personally think who is earning more than who shouldn't even be an issue... -
Idealistically, it shouldn't be an issue...Originally posted by Faye Valentine:well i personally think who is earning more than who shouldn't even be an issue...
Realistically, it always become an issue... especially with the guy.
I suppose it all boils down to confidence in yourself... even then, it can be easily eroded when your girlfriend or wife starts moving higher up the corporate ladder and you're stuck somewhere.
Self-doubt will start to creep up on you...
Well, it's all about confidence! -
*Ssshhh*Originally posted by Faye Valentine:ehh... u edited your quote?
well i was about to say that your initial reply was interesting.
Miss it and you missed it... -
But I saw it too wor EricOriginally posted by EricDraven:*Ssshhh*
Miss it and you missed it... -
well, thats my beliefs and i don't think it will change. Maybe when i grow older, i will be more realistic...but i guess i will never seek pride in this aspect.Originally posted by neuros:well, i thought exactly that when i was your age! -
Hahahaa, whatever...Originally posted by elindra:But I saw it too wor Eric
Just joking...
*Ssshhh* -
x2.Originally posted by elindra:But I saw it too wor Eric -
Noted!Originally posted by EricDraven:*Ssshhh*
Miss it and you missed it...
Noted this and noted that -
Thats true.Originally posted by EricDraven:Idealistically, it shouldn't be an issue...
Realistically, it always become an issue... especially with the guy.
I suppose it all boils down to confidence in yourself... even then, it can be easily eroded when your girlfriend or wife starts moving higher up the corporate ladder and you're stuck somewhere.
Self-doubt will start to creep up on you...
Well, it's all about confidence!
Well then, personally, if i am the girlfriend or wife. I will make sure he knows that i am proud to be his. And that our relationship is so much more than a monthly paycheck. -
Agreed! Anyway I have relatives who are like that whereby my uncle stays at home to look after the kids and the house while their wife bring home the bread and butter.Originally posted by Faye Valentine:Thats true.
Well then, personally, if i am the girlfriend or wife. I will make sure he knows that i am proud to be his. And that our relationship is so much more than a monthly paycheck.
They are still so happy together. I mean, sometimes circumstances change and we just have to adapt. Ego is worth nothing and often then not, comes with a high price. -
Yup! exactly. I've got a friend. Her mom works to support her Dad through University. And they are one happy family.Originally posted by elindra:Agreed! Anyway I have relatives who are like that whereby my uncle stays at home to look after the kids and the house while their wife bring home the bread and butter.
They are still so happy together. I mean, sometimes circumstances change and we just have to adapt. Ego is worth nothing and often then not, comes with a high price. -
I love to hear real-life happy stories...
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i feel likewise. we are facing a real shortage.Originally posted by EricDraven: I love to hear real-life happy stories... -
It's your own choice if you want your story to be a happy one or a sad one...Originally posted by dragg:i feel likewise. we are facing a real shortage.
You can make it happen! -
if only it is up to me......Originally posted by EricDraven:It's your own choice if you want your story to be a happy one or a sad one...
You can make it happen! 
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It's your life, of course it's up to you!Originally posted by dragg:if only it is up to me......