Sometimes, you wonder if the best match for you ...
-
... has already come and gone.
I couldn't help thinking of this lately, because I miss someone deeply.
It's amazing how many similar interests we shared. He was a pre-med student working as a Pharmaceutical Asst, I was then a Nursing Student, then a freshly-graduated Registered Nurse. We would talk about medical stuff that most folks would feel quesy over but to us, it provided endless banter. Medical advancements, new operation techniques and procedures, new drugs, recall of drugs, etc... we would talk about all these with gusto. Advancements on his side of the world, my side of the world, we'd listen intently or provide interesting details to.
And then, there was our incredible love for food. He would talk about food in great detail and he sure knew his subject matter! From star chefs to top restaurants to the Chinatown street stalls in San Francisco, he would give me such interesting accounts and description! And when we toured New York City, he surprised me with a treat at a top 5-star East-West Fusion restaurant, Vong's, owned by a Star Chef. The sweet chap had saved for months and placed a reservation half a year ahead just to be sure we'd get to eat there.
And yes, it was a restaurant you had to place bookings for months ahead.
We loved the Arts too and we actually went to Broadway to watch Phantom of the Opera. It was an extremely memorable event for me. That handsome actor in ER was acting as the Phantom (what a waste! that handsome visage hidden behind a mask!
) but most of all, my then-sweetie was right beside me, stealing glances at me now and then and smiling to himself as if he felt he was the luckiest guy in the world.
I was very relaxed with him and there was nothing we couldn't discuss. I even felt comfortable telling him when I felt irritated or angry and he would listen without prejudice. He never judged me and slapped labels on me. He forgave those times when I acted badly because of a bad mood and what-not. I was cocooned in total acceptance.
He had a great sense of humour, was easy-going, very intelligent and then, there were our shared interests. And whaddaya know, he loves cats as well! That's a huge plus point with me cause I'm not going to let any guy who doesn't love cats into my home! 
He had two of those feline darlings himself and we would share interesting anecdotes of our 'kiddos'.
Since we went our separate ways, I've felt lost at times. I feel much better now but at times, I can't help wondering, what IF he was my best match... and he had already come... and gone...
-
just throw in a gender reversal:
hey jude.. don't be afraid
you have found her
now go and get her
remember to let her into your heart
and then you can start
to make it better
meself? i dunno.. i once gave me heart to another, but in the end, it didn't work out...
picked up the pieces and moved on.. i figure coz i have faith, someone else is out there for me
so no.. i never did wonder.. -
what is best match? prefect match ?
what is best, does not meant it is destined.
what is urs, is urs no matter how far apart...... -
hm...Originally posted by kops21:what is best match? prefect match ?
what is best, does not meant it is destined.
what is urs, is urs no matter how far apart...... -
OK...so make sure you don't miss out on the second best...Originally posted by Rhonda:... has already come and gone.
I couldn't help thinking of this lately, because I miss someone deeply.
It's amazing how many similar interests we shared. He was a pre-med student working as a Pharmaceutical Asst, I was then a Nursing Student, then a freshly-graduated Registered Nurse. We would talk about medical stuff that most folks would feel quesy over but to us, it provided endless banter. Medical advancements, new operation techniques and procedures, new drugs, recall of drugs, etc... we would talk about all these with gusto. Advancements on his side of the world, my side of the world, we'd listen intently or provide interesting details to.
And then, there was our incredible love for food. He would talk about food in great detail and he sure knew his subject matter! From star chefs to top restaurants to the Chinatown street stalls in San Francisco, he would give me such interesting accounts and description! And when we toured New York City, he surprised me with a treat at a top 5-star East-West Fusion restaurant, Vong's, owned by a Star Chef. The sweet chap had saved for months and placed a reservation half a year ahead just to be sure we'd get to eat there. And yes, it was a restaurant you had to place bookings for months ahead.
We loved the Arts too and we actually went to Broadway to watch Phantom of the Opera. It was an extremely memorable event for me. That handsome actor in ER was acting as the Phantom (what a waste! that handsome visage hidden behind a mask!) but most of all, my then-sweetie was right beside me, stealing glances at me now and then and smiling to himself as if he felt he was the luckiest guy in the world.
I was very relaxed with him and there was nothing we couldn't discuss. I even felt comfortable telling him when I felt irritated or angry and he would listen without prejudice. He never judged me and slapped labels on me. He forgave those times when I acted badly because of a bad mood and what-not. I was cocooned in total acceptance.
He had a great sense of humour, was easy-going, very intelligent and then, there were our shared interests. And whaddaya know, he loves cats as well! That's a huge plus point with me cause I'm not going to let any guy who doesn't love cats into my home! He had two of those feline darlings himself and we would share interesting anecdotes of our 'kiddos'.
Since we went our separate ways, I've felt lost at times. I feel much better now but at times, I can't help wondering, what IF he was my best match... and he had already come... and gone...
Keep your eyes and heart open . -
actually .. what's stopping you from lookng for him again?
No one knows what is really gone for good
until the end of time
-
Well, some things just aren't meant to be...Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:actually .. what's stopping you from lookng for him again?
No one knows what is really gone for good
until the end of time
-
Well sad to say...but some things will be yours if they are meant to be...
Many times we keep thinking of 'best match' and even after he/she is gone, we tend to look around for his/her 'shadow' subconsciously...but u wun know whether the one is just beside you if u dun open ur eyes big and feel with ur heart. -
I mean how do you determine if the other person is the 'best match' for you?
My situation is the classic case of 'opposites attract'. I have gone through bfs who click so well with me in terms of likes/hobbies/thoughts etc and I'm married to a guy who doesn't like to do the things I like but gives me space to do my stuff, and likewise I do for him.
He isn't exactly what I was looking for, but he turned out to be the one I guess, sometimes, we are just looking for love in all the wrong places and you somehow blunder along, and then 'WHAM' cupid just hits you right in your face with his arrow
Well, it is nice, to have someone who shares the same thoughts, likes and feelings with you and although they may not be in your life now, the memories are still soooo sweet, so just cherish them and they don't call it 'Sweet Memories' for nothing -
bbb, thanks for your comments.Originally posted by browniebaobao:Well sad to say...but some things will be yours if they are meant to be...
Many times we keep thinking of 'best match' and even after he/she is gone, we tend to look around for his/her 'shadow' subconsciously...but u wun know whether the one is just beside you if u dun open ur eyes big and feel with ur heart.
Hmm... I opened my eyes big big but there's no one beside me... maybe, should get new prescription lenses!
Sorry... well I was just feeling a tad down, thinking of the good times. But thanks. -
Thanks, Elindra! You've given me stuff to ponder about.Originally posted by elindra:I mean how do you determine if the other person is the 'best match' for you?
My situation is the classic case of 'opposites attract'. I have gone through bfs who click so well with me in terms of likes/hobbies/thoughts etc and I'm married to a guy who doesn't like to do the things I like but gives me space to do my stuff, and likewise I do for him.
He isn't exactly what I was looking for, but he turned out to be the one I guess, sometimes, we are just looking for love in all the wrong places and you somehow blunder along, and then 'WHAM' cupid just hits you right in your face with his arrow
Well, it is nice, to have someone who shares the same thoughts, likes and feelings with you and although they may not be in your life now, the memories are still soooo sweet, so just cherish them and they don't call it 'Sweet Memories' for nothing -
Just embrace loneliness, embrace solitude, embrace yourself.
Love yourself! Enjoy times of being alone with no one to bother u.
You won't feel something has come and gone, only what hasn't come and what hasn't gone -
kops, doesn't really work that way... if a person chooses to put distance between you and him/her, then we'd be far apart, but the person won't be 'mine'.Originally posted by kops21:what is best match? prefect match ?
what is best, does not meant it is destined.
what is urs, is urs no matter how far apart...... -
The train pulls away..you can chase..do you chase..?There is this barrier inside you..if you break that barrier, perhaps the prize is yours..
Something from my heart.. -
I know it's easy to say but I'm still going to say...
It's time to step out of this shadow, Rhonda. If you already think that your best match has came and went, then what is the future going to hold?
If you believed the peak is already over, then isn't it going to be downslope all the way from there?
Do not let your sweet memories turn into a chain, locking you to future happiness. That's not what sweet memories are for...
One has to search for one's own happiness. One has to hope for a better future and believe. One has to move on.
Good luck Rhonda... -
Originally posted by Rhonda:bbb, thanks for your comments.
Hmm... I opened my eyes big big but there's no one beside me... maybe, should get new prescription lenses!
Sorry... well I was just feeling a tad down, thinking of the good times. But thanks.
dun mention...
if he's not beside u, then look around, in front, at the back..up there or down there..haha... -
Wow, Eric... we seldom see your posts these days but when you post, you pack a punch!Originally posted by EricDraven:I know it's easy to say but I'm still going to say...
It's time to step out of this shadow, Rhonda. If you already think that your best match has came and went, then what is the future going to hold?
If you believed the peak is already over, then isn't it going to be downslope all the way from there?
Do not let your sweet memories turn into a chain, locking you to future happiness. That's not what sweet memories are for...
One has to search for one's own happiness. One has to hope for a better future and believe. One has to move on.
Good luck Rhonda...
You've said a lot of things I need to mull over. I just had this thought creep up on me suddenly. Thanks for your insight. -
Rhonda, it may be hard for you to believe now, but I do think someone else will come along who'll you think was worth waiting for... cos he'll be sooo much better than any other had ever been!Originally posted by Rhonda:Snce we went our separate ways, I've felt lost at times. I feel much better now but at times, I can't help wondering, what IF he was my best match... and he had already come... and gone...
I've never wondered if any of my ex's have been my best match, really. My hubby & I are not compatible in every way. The more we get to know each other better, the more we find that our differences outweigh our similarities. But I think the trick to being each other's 'best match' is to work at it - work hard to treat each other with love & respect. As someone once said,
"A soul mate (or best match!) isn't something you find; a soul mate (or best match!) is someone you intentionally and prayerfully become."
I find that sentence has helped me alot & I try to constantly remember it to make our relationship the best that it can be! -
one wonders what the term 'best match' really means?
i mean, is it supposed to be that person who engenders all the qualities & attributes you think you want in you ideal partner? Or someone soo different from you & your world that he/she is able to see you from a completely abjective perspective & be able to see you for who you really are?
my last r/s was with a person whom i thought was 'the one' cuz we shared all the same interests, tastes etc but when it came to the crunch, it seemed we never really knew who we were at the core level?
now the love of my life i feel i have known all my life - & we are so very different! Go figure heh, sometimes cupid can't hit you if you're standing too close to the wall. Take a step back, see the greater world & let the possibilities happen!
Take heart Rhonda, you know he's out there somewhere! Someday somehow, your prince will come!
TX -
this reminds me sth that nellie use to say, "u accept the whole package, not just parts that u like... or appeals to u.."Originally posted by SydneyLibrarian:Rhonda, it may be hard for you to believe now, but I do think someone else will come along who'll you think was worth waiting for... cos he'll be sooo much better than any other had ever been!
I've never wondered if any of my ex's have been my best match, really. My hubby & I are not compatible in every way. The more we get to know each other better, the more we find that our differences outweigh our similarities. But I think the trick to being each other's 'best match' is to work at it - work hard to treat each other with love & respect. As someone once said,
"A soul mate (or best match!) isn't something you find; a soul mate (or best match!) is someone you intentionally and prayerfully become."
I find that sentence has helped me alot & I try to constantly remember it to make our relationship the best that it can be! -
I just lurve this song
MemÂ’ries,
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we?
MemÂ’ries, may be beautiful and yet
WhatÂ’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So itÂ’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...
The way we were...
The way we were... -
Originally posted by SydneyLibrarian:
YES very true!
Rhonda, it may be hard for you to believe now, but I do think someone else will come along who'll you think was worth waiting for... cos he'll be sooo much better than any other had ever been!
I've never wondered if any of my ex's have been my best match, really. My hubby & I are not compatible in every way. The more we get to know each other better, the more we find that our differences outweigh our similarities. But I think the trick to being each other's 'best match' is to work at it - work hard to treat each other with love & respect. As someone once said,
[b]"A soul mate (or best match!) isn't something you find; a soul mate (or best match!) is someone you intentionally and prayerfully become."
I find that sentence has helped me alot & I try to constantly remember it to make our relationship the best that it can be![/b]
same here, dh and i have lots of diff, from background to things we like to eat etc etc...but we are each other's soul mate.
like SydneyLibrarian's quote, its how u (both) intentionally make it happen. I think even if one found his/her best match, the best match can turn worst match if relationship is not 'handled with care'
just to share:
I was working at one law firm, this couple was waiting to for a colleague who handled divorce cases, at the reception area. They look so matching, handsome guy, pretty lady, both sharing a magazine. I tot the lady must be the third party. But she was his wife! -
On the other side of the coin, I think for those who are in a relationship (especially a long term one), there will be times when they wonder if the best is still out there.
I believe best is subjective and arbitrary and wholly dependent on the stage of life you're in. A match is best for you at that point in time. It doesn't necessarily mean it remains the best match when you're 40.
Assuming the above, as we go through different stages of life, there are chances of finding a good partner. And it also means that we have to work and maintain at being each other's best whatever - friend, lover, etc.Originally posted by Rhonda:... has already come and gone. -
Wat if he feels d same way ?
Wat then ?
Wud u stil rather jus wait it out & hope for sumone better ? -
Its like dat sometimes. Ppl sometimes like to say, do something abt it else if it ended, you'll regret. But there's only so much one can do. All things happen for a reason. So if it has come and gone..then try not to let it bother u too much. Jus make sure learn from it and apply it in the next relation. And if its still around...jus treasure while u can cos not all things can last forever.Originally posted by Rhonda:... has already come and gone.
I couldn't help thinking of this lately, because I miss someone deeply.
I was very relaxed with him and there was nothing we couldn't discuss. I even felt comfortable telling him when I felt irritated or angry and he would listen without prejudice. He never judged me and slapped labels on me. He forgave those times when I acted badly because of a bad mood and what-not. I was cocooned in total acceptance.