Throw off the shackles of misplaced shame
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Oh dear... That's gonna be tough on you.Originally posted by foxwalk:My parents are ashamed of me seeing a guy of another race, and they don't tell people. We are in a long term relationship of more than 2 years, and she still tells me to go to SDU outings. We are getting married soon for chrissakes.
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I experience the exact same thing, only my parents are not as accepting. People here stereotype waaay too much, and their ignorance shows in all this stereotyping. For eg, seeing a really white north indian, they'd go, is he eurasian? It's better people like that don't talk. At least they didn't come across as being that stupid when they are silent. To quote a friend's blog "until you can learn to speak pleasantly, remain silent", and if you don't practise civility, don't expect me to.Originally posted by elindra:Rhonda, I know what you mean. My relatives think (they put it tactfully but I didn't miss the barb) that it is shameful that I cannot get a chinese husband
and that they feel I'm marrying down for some weird out-of-the-world reasoning mainly due to biases and stereotypes.
For some reason they keep thinking my hubby is a road sweeper
or car washer or something when he holds a professional job and international license to practice his trade anywhere in the world
And you know me, I told my parents to put it across to them, nicely or I'll do it myself, which won't be nice (I'll go in with a bazooka) that they accept him which really isn't their biz since my parents love him or I'll just sever all ties with them (Ok I didn't say that to my mum but she knows I'll do that). -
I believe some friends are talking behind my back too, and they've distanced themselves. But oh well, they aren't real friends anyway then, and I'm glad I learn that now.Originally posted by Rhonda:Oh dear... That's gonna be tough on you. -
Actually, people who expect you to conform to their norms are really egocentric - what makes them think that their ideals are THE ideals that should apply to everyone else around them?
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cant actually blame them. most parents want their children to marry someone of the same race.Originally posted by foxwalk:My parents are ashamed of me seeing a guy of another race, and they don't tell people. We are in a long term relationship of more than 2 years, and she still tells me to go to SDU outings. We are getting married soon for chrissakes.
fogey you may think, but they are just being traditional. -
Actually it depends, like in the case of my friend, I know a lot of people hate him. Everyone knows he is a homosexual, yet he still goes about telling people how he like this girl and all that. He happens to be a catholic....so I guess its only normal for him to react in such a manner.Originally posted by Rhonda:Sometimes, homosexuals make the best friends. They've been subject to so much criticism, scrutiny, and perhaps even hatred, and they have been left out of the 'mainstream' for so long, that quite a few of them develop an empathy that others don't possess.
There's increasing research evidence to suggest that perhaps, people who tend to lean towards homosexuality don't really have much of a choice in this matter because somehow, biologically, they're kinda 'wired' that way. No conclusive study as yet though. -
shade, sounds like he's just trying to fit into the mainstream and get accepted.Originally posted by shade343:Actually it depends, like in the case of my friend, I know a lot of people hate him. Everyone knows he is a homosexual, yet he still goes about telling people how he like this girl and all that. He happens to be a catholic....so I guess its only normal for him to react in such a manner. -
Homosexuals are raised in a culture in which heterosexuality is central, open and in your face. Movies, advertising, popular music are all permeated by heterosexual images. Homosexuals learn from the earliest age that everyone of importance in their lives expect them to develop heterosexual interests and relationships. In short, sexual orientation and identity is much more than what one does in the bedroom. It encompasses the people we love, our daily lives, dreams and aspirations. To make all that invisible is exhausting, depressing and esteem destroying work. Pressures on homosexuals to keep their sexuality hidden may limit the effectiveness of laws that can offer some protection. We are certaintly entitled to live full and open lives, free from harassment on the grounds of our sexuality.