Surviving with quiet pride
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The article below really touched me and in a way it is a little related to the shame article Eric posted.
Here are two women with almost nothing and yet are house-proud and takes pride in finding work to support themselves as they feel there are others worst off, and yet at the same time in society, we see and hear young able-bodied people complaining about hard work and reaching out their hands for handouts, which is really distastful.
I wonder what direction is Singapore, as a society headed towards as I see lots of young people go through their lives aimlessly, expecting handouts or just work enough to feed themselves through the week.
I know there are still people who are striving hard for the best but it seems to be a small minority to me and as a young working person, it is really disheartening to think how Singapore will end up in the future. Will the younger generation of Singapore have the fighting spirit of the 2 sisters below or will they just wallow in self-pity and complain that the hand-outs are not enough? I really wonder.
Taken from The Electronic Newpaper:
Surviving with quiet pride
By Low Ching Ling
June 17, 2005
THEIRS is a story many Singaporeans would be familiar with. Wanting a permanent roof over their head, the two sisters bought the two-room flat they were living in.
They drained their CPF and savings and even borrowed money to own the flat. They had moved into the flat more than two decades ago and bought it from the HDB for $40,000 in 2000.
The fully-paid-up flat is now worth about $90,000 on the open market. Yet, the two elderly women have no money for beds - or even for a proper meal. And now one of them is critically ill. They don't want to sell their flat because they feel insecure about renting one.
It's a problem many Singaporeans will face as the country greys: being asset-rich but cash-poor. According to the 2000 census, there are a total of 231,334 people aged 65 and above. Of this, 15,313 live alone and another 2,816 live with other elderly people.
Madam Ng rubbing medicated oil on her elder sister's chest after she collapsed on Saturday morning after a heart attack.
These figures are expected to increase as the population ages. But the stats don't mean much to these sisters at the moment.
It was surviving with quiet pride that was most on their minds. They refused to accept handouts. Life for them was about sieving through rubbish for newspapers and cardboard boxes and holding the odd job.
With that, they lived. The boxes they didn't sell were turned into beds. They wrapped the flattened boxes in plastic sheets so they would stay clean longer. This was the life they knew for nearly two decades - after the elder sister, Miss Ng Say Noy, had a stroke.
Their sad life got worse last week when Miss Ng, 72, suffered a heart attack. Doctors at Singapore General Hospital have told the younger sister, Miss K N Ng, 60, that there is no chance of recovery.
The younger Miss Ng is devastated. Choking back tears, she said: 'I'm very troubled. I don't want to be left alone. My sister and I have been together for so long.' She has been shuttling to and from the hospital every day since her sister suffered the heart attack on Saturday.
It was at 10.30am and the elder sister had just sold some cardboard boxes. All of a sudden she collapsed on the same trolley she depended on for her livelihood. The younger Miss Ng desperately rubbed medicated oil on her sister's chest.
Mr Joseph Tan, who owns the recycling company they sold their junk to, called an ambulance. By then, Miss Ng said, her sister was losing consciousness. Now she knows the older woman's life is ebbing away.
She said: 'The doctors said she couldn't be saved.' SGH declined to discuss the older woman's medical condition, citing patient confidentiality.
For many years, the sisters have relied on each other for support and comfort.
DIFFICULT LIFE
Life was okay until the elder sister suffered a stroke in 1987. Her speech became slurred and she could not use her right hand for work.
The older woman used part of her CPF savings, from her work as a cleaner, to pay her medical bills. When she ran out of money, she became a rag-and-bone woman, making between $2 and $5 a day.
The younger Miss Ng held several odd jobs over the years. Together, the sisters earned barely $1,000 a month. Miss Ng said her sister withdrew about $12,000 from her CPF account when she turned 55, but spent most of it on her medical expenses over the years.
Because of a heart problem, she needed medication every three months and that cost more than $100 each time. They knew they had no-one else to turn to, and decided to buy their Beach Road flat. Until then, they had been paying rent of $60 a month.
Miss Ng said she used most of her CPF savings, about $30,000, and another $1,000 from her sister's CPF savings, to pay for it. The rest, she borrowed from her friends.
'In the last few years, I gradually used my savings to pay them back,' she said. She said she has repaid all the debts. Early last month, she quit her mail-sorter job.
'They wanted me to work a 12-hour shift from 8pm to 8am,' she said. 'But I couldn't do it as I was worried my sister would get an attack while I was out (she had a heart attack last year), so I had no choice but to leave.' But bills had to be paid. So Miss Ng helped her sister collect junk instead. Until the second heart attack on Saturday.
Now, she worries about the hospital bills. She said: 'I have enough savings to support myself, but definitely not enough to pay the hospital bills. 'SGH said there's no more money in my sister's Medisave account, and I don't have much in mine. I hope I can find a job soon.'
An SGH spokesman said the hospital's medical social worker is discussing financial assistance with Miss Ng.
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'THERE ARE OTHERS WORSE OFF'
WHY not sell their two-room flat?
Such flats sell for $80,000 to $90,000 on the resale market, a property agent said. But Miss Ng, who received little formal education, knows only that she and her sister want a roof over their heads. So they lived modestly.
Most meals consist of a loaf of bread or a packet of economy rice. One packet for two sisters, she said on Monday. The furniture and household items in their two-room flat in Beach Road were either all discarded or given to them by ex-neighbours who had moved, Miss Ng said.
Their beds are plastic-covered cardboard boxes. Their pillows and bolsters, also wrapped in plastic, were gifts from neighbours years ago.
Miss Ng said: 'We try not spend more than $2 for the rice, so we usually order vegetables.' She said utilities cost about $50 a month, and conservancy fees over $20 a month.
HOUSE PROUD
The sisters are house-proud.
The junk they collected was stacked neatly.
Miss Ng offered us her last packet of green tea, insisting on being hospitable. And we had to insist before she finally accepted the biscuits, instant noodles and Milo that we had brought her.
A care centre for the elderly nearby offers free food, but she refuses to go there, saying: 'There are others worse off than me.'
The sisters lost their father when they were young women. Their mother died more than 10 years ago. Their brother moved out after he got married.
Miss Ng said her brother, a taxi driver, is unable to help them out as he has to raise three kids alone after his wife died of cancer some years ago.
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SHE FOUND A JOB ON HER OWN
MS Kris Lee of the Central CDC said Miss K N Ng was referred to them last year by Mr Loh Meng See, MP for Jalan Besar GRC. Miss Ng told them she needed a job, not money. 'Our job placement officer subsequently gave her two job offers,' said Ms Lee. Miss Ng said she did not take them up as she had found a job by herself.
A social service officer visited Miss Ng last week. Again, Miss Ng insisted she needed 'only employment, not financial assistance'. When we asked if Miss Ng will get any financial help, Ms Lee said the CDC will work with SGH's medical social worker to help.
The CDC will also help her find a nursing home if she needs it and will help with the fees. -
really touching. read b4 in newpaper.
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really touching. read b4 in newpaper.
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the older generation has amazing survival willpower
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they have been through alot.Originally posted by InnoHippo:the older generation has amazing survival willpower 
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it is nothing uncommon for older folks to survive really bad times.
my father used to sleep only 4-5 hours a day working as a bus driver to bring up 9 of us.
we lived in a one-room flat at jalan merpati road at macpherson. when he finally retired with his cpf he caught colon cancer and died. how he managed to bring us up single-handedly was amazing. i believe lack of sleep and eating left-overs took the toll on him.
life is very much better now than it used to be in the 60s. i used to be very scared when bathing coz the toilet was full of cockroaches.
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young ppl lik me takes things for granted these days...pathetic really..
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9 of u in a one room flat!Originally posted by dragg:it is nothing uncommon for older folks to survive really bad times.
my father used to sleep only 4-5 hours a day working as a bus driver to bring up 9 of us.
we lived in a one-room flat at jalan merpati road at macpherson. when he finally retired with his cpf he caught colon cancer and died. how he managed to bring us up single-handedly was amazing. i believe lack of sleep and eating left-overs took the toll on him.
life is very much better now than it used to be in the 60s. i used to be very scared when bathing coz the toilet was full of cockroaches. 
how did u guys survive that?
3 room for me n i'd start kpkb.. cos my mom's got too much stuff around
my family keeps rubbish (rubbish meanin things tat are absolutely useless, n takes up space ) -
we are different generation.
in the 60s 1 room flat was very common. -
*tries to guess dragg's age*Originally posted by dragg:we are different generation.
in the 60s 1 room flat was very common.
Yeah but 9 ppl in a one room flat is still -
yes veryOriginally posted by elindra:*tries to guess dragg's age*
Yeah but 9 ppl in a one room flat is still
i'm thinkin, it's 10 in a family includin dragg's dad..
i dun mind squeezing.. just throw away all the unneccessary stuff.. u dun need the stuff, u throw them away.. -
agree.Originally posted by elindra:*tries to guess dragg's age*
Yeah but 9 ppl in a one room flat is still im living in the masterbed room, and i think its small. (my parents have the 2 other rooms, one to sleep, one to sit) -
you dont believe what i said?Originally posted by elindra:*tries to guess dragg's age*
Yeah but 9 ppl in a one room flat is still
i am 40 this year.
i used to live in blk 13 jalan merpati road. lots of poor people there in the 70s. -
I believe you la, just that I find it hard to imagine 9 ppl in a 1 room flatOriginally posted by dragg:you dont believe what i said?
i am 40 this year.
i used to live in blk 13 jalan merpati road. lots of poor people there in the 70s. -
i admire their determination and will to survive.... nowadays youth very nua in character.... little thing, either complain or break down liao.....
my granny single-handedly brought up 6 kids on her own cos my grandfather pass away very early.... she came to sg and be samsui woman.... till now she still walk faster than me!! -
very tough i can tell you. for sure we do not have any unnecessary stuff at home like shinta said.
no extra space at all. -
Samsui women are very very fascinating!Originally posted by tare:i admire their determination and will to survive.... nowadays youth very nua in character.... little thing, either complain or break down liao.....
my granny single-handedly brought up 6 kids on her own cos my grandfather pass away very early.... she came to sg and be samsui woman.... till now she still walk faster than me!!
Just had one in our ward recently. She's 80+ years old still very very fit and strong and healthy! All the doctors who came to examine her commented that 'For her age, she's really healthy!'.
Goes to show that daily physical activity is good for you!
Erm... regular physical activity for married couples, also very good for both!
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I wonder why that is so...Originally posted by InnoHippo:the older generation has amazing survival willpower
Could it be that there's a pervasive culture of trying to make excuses for things that go wrong these days? What I like to call, the Oprah's Couch Mentality? Y'know, it goes something like, 'I was abused as a kid, that's why I turned out like that!'
Well, a little knowledge is a good thing, but some end up wielding what little they know as a sort of shield to excuse them from taking responsibility for their actions.
Also, it could be that we live in good times and if you grow up without encountering any hardship whatsoever, you won't be able to withstand any when tough times come a-calling.
The fact that both parents could be too busy working to earn a good living to spend time with their kids and inculcate good values in them also means that the kids grow up without a lot of morals and good sense in them. A few of them might even grow up as 'spoilt brats'. There's this famous thing about working parents feeling guilty about not being able to spend quality time with their kids and they 'compensate' by giving them material things and indulging in them.
Do you think I will learn the value of working hard if I grow up in a household where all I had to do to get what I wanted was to ask for money from my parents? -
I can relate with what you wrote dragg. There were 7 of us in a 1-bedroom HDB flat too but in Toa Payoh. But I never felt deprived though. I think I still blur blur lah. My most fondly memories was working part time at the snack bar in MacRitchie Reservoir. I only worked Saturdays and Sundays and was paid $10 per day. It was a big deal for me already. And then some more got to eat free. Cannot forget the mee siam, banana split and coke float.Originally posted by dragg:very tough i can tell you. for sure we do not have any unnecessary stuff at home like shinta said.
no extra space at all.
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Originally posted by littlestream:I can relate with what you wrote dragg. There were 7 of us in a 1-bedroom HDB flat too but in Toa Payoh. But I never felt deprived though. I think I still blur blur lah. My most fondly memories was working part time at the snack bar in MacRitchie Reservoir. I only worked Saturdays and Sundays and was paid $10 per day. It was a big deal for me already. And then some more got to eat free. Cannot forget the mee siam, banana split and coke float.
Wah... one day, you should share more of your childhood memories with us. Sounds very interesting!
I remember when Burger King first came to Singapore, it was like a very big deal! Their flagship branch was at Peninsular Plaza then, and mom brought my classmate, my brother and myself there for a meal and it was like a super-duper treat we boasted to our classmates about the next day!
And imagine, it was just one BK meal!
Nowadays, kids are harder to impress. -
Oh... and when I was a wee toddler, everyday, I'll sit by my grandma's metal gate, waiting and hoping for the kacang putih man to come by with his bottles of kacang all neatly arranged on a wooden 'box' he'd carry about on his head! (Funny, you never heard of them getting cervical spine injuries then, hor? )
When he finally came along, my brother and I would jump up and down like monkeys, climbing the gate halfway and what-not, and yelling out to grandma, 'Kacang putih lai leow!!! Ah maaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!'.
Then ah ma would waddle out with her purse, grumbling that we were acting like little monkeys, yelling like she didn't feed us like that, so malu, and then... Kacang putih!!!
Just like little kids, sometimes, my brother and I would share our kacang putih, sometimes, I'd bully him by 'cheating' him out of a few kacangs , sometimes, we'd unroll the paper cone that contained the kacangs and sit gwai-gwai by the large wooden table in the living room, gingerly eating the nuts one by one.
Nowadays, which kid will jump up and down for kacang putih? -
I can almost picture you and your brother climbing The image I had was a chubby girl with curly hair. Actually, that was probably my own image.
I guess we have different "history" with the new gen kids eh?
Okay, it's past midnight, I better start on the wings now. (if lost, pls see active social life thread). Will chat again. -
a lot of good childhood memories beside the kacang putih man. the early morning yell 'naaaaaaaasi lemmmmak'. i really miss the traditional nasi lemak.
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These are the people that I'd rather donate to.
Bloody NKF rubbish. -
once my granny went china with my parents and their group of friends.... went up mountain.... scaling hundreds of steps.... and my granny reach the top 1st!!! and turn ard, "aiyoh why u all so slow??" while my mum pants like wat...Originally posted by Rhonda:Samsui women are very very fascinating!
Just had one in our ward recently. She's 80+ years old still very very fit and strong and healthy! All the doctors who came to examine her commented that 'For her age, she's really healthy!'.