living alone..
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u might be alone, but u may not be lonely mah
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Dragg :
I am in total agreement with Rhonda. She spelt it out so matter of factly. Her contents has very good pointers which I hope can open up a new view for you.
I guess understand the pro side of having a "live-in partner" (spouse/companion/?) but LIVE the pro side of being alone for now. One of my colleagues, a female in her early 60s told me "it's better to be alone than to put up with crap (her ex-husband).
I don't know if humans are contradictory. When we have this, we want that. But when we have that, we want this.
Just enjoy life....with whatever you have and are for now and let nature takes its course. It speaks much of your character already that even at 40, you didn't just grab any Mary, Jane or Sally (female version of Tom, Dick & Harry?).
But with a number of singles within Club 30, how come no two opposite gender get hook up yet? That bad ah?
*okay, take cover, duck under table........flaming coming up* If this is a bad/cruel joke, sorry, dui bu chi, gomenasai, mak'aff, -
err.... have a "probation" period b4 signing contract?!Originally posted by InnoHippo:
flatmate can be quite a nightmare if living habits dont match u know
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that's because i am not here to look for the other half.Originally posted by littlestream:Dragg :
I am in total agreement with Rhonda. She spelt it out so matter of factly. Her contents has very good pointers which I hope can open up a new view for you.
I guess understand the pro side of having a "live-in partner" (spouse/companion/?) but LIVE the pro side of being alone for now. One of my colleagues, a female in her early 60s told me "it's better to be alone than to put up with crap (her ex-husband).
I don't know if humans are contradictory. When we have this, we want that. But when we have that, we want this.
Just enjoy life....with whatever you have and are for now and let nature takes its course. It speaks much of your character already that even at 40, you didn't just grab any Mary, Jane or Sally (female version of Tom, Dick & Harry?).
But with a number of singles within Club 30, how come no two opposite gender get hook up yet? That bad ah? *okay, take cover, duck under table........flaming coming up* If this is a bad/cruel joke, sorry, dui bu chi, gomenasai, mak'aff, -
Dragg, Kudos to you..for having such a strong character.
I agree with Rhonda and littlestream... most people would have picked some Tom, Dick or Harry to marry just to rid themselves of loneliness...
How about spiritual pursuits? -
i am a backslided christian.
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Oh, I see (understand) but nature sometimes work in such a way when we least expected it mah.Originally posted by dragg:that's because i am not here to look for the other half. And then you folks so lucky, got so many outings one. Get to know each other so I thought maybe sparks will fly. Well, looks like Cupid has gone on vacation. -
maybe i am being pessimistic.Originally posted by littlestream:Oh, I see (understand) but nature sometimes work in such a way when we least expected it mah. And then you folks so lucky, got so many outings one. Get to know each other so I thought maybe sparks will fly. Well, looks like Cupid has gone on vacation.
i personally think that marriage is for the rich to enjoy and the poor to suffer. life is complicated enough. -
Oh, don't be discouraged, dragg. Not trying to sound like a smarty pants but I thought I detected a hint of sadness.Originally posted by dragg:maybe i am being pessimistic.
i personally think that marriage is for the rich to enjoy and the poor to suffer. life is complicated enough.
Perhaps don't zero in on marriage. How about just having friends and then see where it takes you? What I mean is don't take your lady friends as marriage prospect first lah. Just enjoy the friendship and hopefully if time can blossom it into a relationship, then that's great, right?
I have a girlfriend in her early 50s and she is still single but has been attached for about close to 20 years. But her Finnish b/f do not live with her. They have separate homes but come together every now and then. So, it's more like a companion type of relationship. They enjoy doing things together, but yet enjoy their space.
The owner of my son's piano school is the same. After a couple of failed marriages and a few failed r/s, he now resigns to just companionship. For him, lagi "kay kou". He wouldn't let his lady friends sleeps over. Because over here ah, if your partner live with you for over six months, can be considered common law wife/husband. Entitled to half your assets, if break up.
Enjoy each day because it will become your history/past tomorrow. You want to be able to look back at your personal history book and smile, right?
Cheers. -
hmmm .... i loved the days when life wasn't as cheery & I was living on my own. U could get reeaaaallly melodramatic & spiral into that circle of depression! Then again, when u were happy, you could dance like no one's watching & not kill half the world with your comedic routine!
it's nice when finally you get to share your life - & place, with someone whom u care for & cares for you. takes a lil bit of gettin used to but i wouldn't give it up for anything in the world now!
TX -
Quite a pessimistic way of looking at it, but somewhat true. But it need not be so if people aren't too materialistic and are responsible for themselves (incl. financially).Originally posted by dragg:maybe i am being pessimistic.
i personally think that marriage is for the rich to enjoy and the poor to suffer. life is complicated enough.
I used to live alone for abt 10 yrs - enjoyed it a lot, altho' once I felt really alone when I was ill. It helps to have a close circle of friends to socialise with. Now I live with my SO, and sometimes wish I live alone. Human dilemma.
I think the trick is to accept and be content with what we have. Life has to go on. -
That's so true. There are pros and cons to both sides.Originally posted by Wanda:Quite a pessimistic way of looking at it, but somewhat true. But it need not be so if people aren't too materialistic and are responsible for themselves (incl. financially).
I used to live alone for abt 10 yrs - enjoyed it a lot, altho' once I felt really alone when I was ill. It helps to have a close circle of friends to socialise with. Now I live with my SO, and sometimes wish I live alone. Human dilemma. I think the trick is to accept and be content with what we have. Life has to go on.
When you're living alone, there'll be times when you feel desolate and deserted and unloved and you'll feel like crying your heart out and yearn for companionship.
Then, when you get married or have someone else sharing your home, you'll start to grumble about how they do this and that wrong, how their living habits irk you, how you wish you had some alone time, how their music is too loud and yucky, etc etc.
Wanda made a good point when she said that we have to accept our situation and be content. A lot of times in life, we find ourselves in situations that are less than ideal and we start to fret, get all flustered and start feeling miserable. I guess what's important is to learn to be self-sufficient. Learn to love your own company. Even when you eventually get married, or even if you find a live-in companion, there will be moments when you're not alone anymore, but you feel lonely. Even soul mates need time away from each other and there will be times when the soul feels lonely and desolate.
I do get hit bad at times by a desolate feeling, but I always tell myself that life swings like a pendulum, and that you just have to accept the good times with the bad. Granted sometimes, it feels as if the pendulum has swung over to the 'bad' side and has become frozen in time there, suspended there, prolonging the bad times but, it always swings right back to the good side.
Just like that song in 'The Crow', 'It won't rain all the time'!
Hang in there! -
sounds like meOriginally posted by dragg:i am a backslided christian. -
Freedom is the best!
Me live alone too...hehehee
Be blessed... -
Well I love it but unlike you, I'm not old enough to get my own flat. I rented the whole unit. Actually quite a strain on my financials. I guess lots of folks here are the high income bracket or they have Kao-Shan so they need not worry about their next meal or welcome free overnight food or clothes.Originally posted by dragg:anyone here lives alone?
i live in a 3 room flat on my own. like most people i like the freedom. but after a few years i find that living alone sucks.
Though sometimes it does get lonely but I don't really like to talk. -
rent a whole unit?Originally posted by mistyblue:Well I love it but unlike you, I'm not old enough to get my own flat. I rented the whole unit. Actually quite a strain on my financials. I guess lots of folks here are the high income bracket or they have Kao-Shan so they need not worry about their next meal or welcome free overnight food or clothes.
Though sometimes it does get lonely but I don't really like to talk.
you must be earning quite a bit too.
contract worker i remember you once mentioned. ending soon right?
arent you worried? -
I am not for marriage as well .... everytime I take a step forward, things happen and make me take 3 back.. reading some of the things here on this site and seeing the events on papers and with my own family... I never felt comfortable about marriage. Tot its a lot of lifetime suffering for so little in return. Besides, I don't believe in such a fickle thing as love which is overrated, overused and abused that it has no meaning at all.Originally posted by dragg:maybe i am being pessimistic.
i personally think that marriage is for the rich to enjoy and the poor to suffer. life is complicated enough. -
Hi Dragg,
Don't be pessimistic.....if even some very ill ppl can hv the strength to live life to the fullest why not we?
No one can be in an ideal situation. just like wat some said, when u are married, u wish u can hv some space etc but when u are alone, u wish u are not.....its neverending.....
I am not in a situation many would truly envy....very simple but busy life, simple house (bit messy as my colleague commented), moderate income (can't afford much..), and in many ways my close friends carreers, their hubbies, etc etc are doing much finer
but i still learn to find simple pleasure and my own pride (my AH Qness) in my own ways and i am sure u can too......
since u are living alone, u hv all the time to contribute to the society....i think that will be great....or find some other acitivities, keep yourself occupied...and u will also gain your circle of friends....soon u might lament you are too busy notime for u to breathe
like sgboy2004 say, u may be alone but not necessary lonely, and likewise, a person might be surrounded by many ppl, but they can still feel lonely....
all the best! -
I'm not earning enough really, the rental is about 600 cause I maintain the house really well. Repained and decorated the whole place etc. I know the owner as well.Originally posted by dragg:rent a whole unit?
you must be earning quite a bit too.
contract worker i remember you once mentioned. ending soon right?
arent you worried?
But I had savings. Yes, my company is gonna retrench us soon. Hell worried. But I'll find a solution then... But still I would want to live alone. Learn hard lessons renting with others.
But the other expenses really add up, like food, groceries, transport, clothes, daily living, utilities. Counting down, if I had not stinge on food, clothes and travelling, I don't have enough. -
Staying alone since 6 months back, quite nice at times cos u can do whatever u desire but then again no one to share the house work. Of course it gets lonely sometimes, especially at night.
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6 months is too short to really understand the feeling.
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Hey, mistyblue, like you, I live alone and rent the entire unit. It costs a huge bomb and takes up a large portion of my income but I'd still rather live alone. I had not-so-nice experiences living with others too. Besides, I love the privacy and freedom of living alone.Originally posted by mistyblue:I'm not earning enough really, the rental is about 600 cause I maintain the house really well. Repained and decorated the whole place etc. I know the owner as well.
But I had savings. Yes, my company is gonna retrench us soon. Hell worried. But I'll find a solution then... But still I would want to live alone. Learn hard lessons renting with others.
But the other expenses really add up, like food, groceries, transport, clothes, daily living, utilities. Counting down, if I had not stinge on food, clothes and travelling, I don't have enough.
It's a monthly struggle ... but I would have it no other way. -
as much as you prefer to live alone it is important to set aside some money for rainy days.
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The perils of having a flatmate is that whether you want to or not, to one extent or another, proximity means everyone knows at least a little of each other's business. When you live this close, tolerance isn't a virtue, it is essential. Space it seemed exists only as something to be shared.
Looking for some ways to assuage the loneliness? You can be in a room filled with people and yet feel alone and lonely. If you decorate a simple room with a single chrysanthemum, it will concentrate the mind and consecrate the flower. It pulls you back to a simpler time when small pleasures were big and old sensations new. -
If you can't even preserve your sanity, how are you going to do an effective job of earning money?Originally posted by dragg:as much as you prefer to live alone it is important to set aside some money for rainy days.