Do guys like it when women act 'der' or helpless?
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This topic of discussion came up recently when I was with friends. We were talking about how 'der' some of the females we know are, and how the guys around them seem to fall for it, and are suckers for the 'damsel-in-distress' act, even though it's very obvious to the rest of us that it's fake.
So, what's the real deal here? If you're a guy, do you genuinely like that or do you see right through the act but tolerate it out of politeness? -
it depends on the situationOriginally posted by Rhonda:This topic of discussion came up recently when I was with friends. We were talking about how 'der' some of the females we know are, and how the guys around them seem to fall for it, and are suckers for the 'damsel-in-distress' act, even though it's very obvious to the rest of us that it's fake.
So, what's the real deal here? If you're a guy, do you genuinely like that or do you see right through the act but tolerate it out of politeness?
and of coz the person too -
Oh, meaning, if she's pretty, then you'll like it when she der's, is it?Originally posted by BeEtHoVeN:it depends on the situation and of coz the person too -
not really.because i kinda detest women who can't stand up for themselves.but it depends on the situation too la.i'm lazy to help those who can't help themselves. if they just laze around waiting for help den its unlikely i'll do it but if she comes to me for help den different story..hehe
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I think the act of being helpless actually gets the lady a lot of attention... and I think the men who rise up to answer the call of the damsel-in-distress end up feeling macho, that's why even if they know it's an act, yet, because of the ego-stroking nature of the whole thing, they'll gladly put up with it.Originally posted by stellazio:not really.because i kinda detest women who can't stand up for themselves.but it depends on the situation too la.i'm lazy to help those who can't help themselves. if they just laze around waiting for help den its unlikely i'll do it but if she comes to me for help den different story..hehe
Am I right?
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more like whether she has a place in my heart, up till now, i can safely say 2 !Originally posted by Rhonda:Oh, meaning, if she's pretty, then you'll like it when she der's, is it? -
you seem like you know alot..haha..from experience ar?hehe...well i'm a very lazy person so i won't go to much trouble to help someone be it guy or girl..LOL..but of course if its a fren i might still do it,stranger very small chance..
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well, i could not bear the person to suffer in any way so that is why i helped, about the ego part, definitely no, cause I feel that it is troublesome but nevertheless have to do itOriginally posted by Rhonda:I think the act of being helpless actually gets the lady a lot of attention... and I think the men who rise up to answer the call of the damsel-in-distress end up feeling macho, that's why even if they know it's an act, yet, because of the ego-stroking nature of the whole thing, they'll gladly put up with it.
Am I right? 
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From observation. Honestly, I cannot stand it when I see it happening, it makes me sick. But then, I look over at the guys and they seem to melt into a puddle when that happens so, ah well!Originally posted by stellazio:you seem like you know alot..haha..from experience ar?hehe...well i'm a very lazy person so i won't go to much trouble to help someone be it guy or girl..LOL..but of course if its a fren i might still do it,stranger very small chance..
My friends and I would look at each other and
when we see it happening. Sometimes, certain people have a reputation for doing that so when they're around, there's a lot of going on! 
Sorry but I'm a bit too independant maybe. In this society, independance doesn't seem to be a value that's upheld much, especially in women. -
Aaahhh... makes me wonder, are a lot of guys wise to the female's antics, but just 'playing along' cause they want to be nice but they actually don't really like the behaviour per se?Originally posted by BeEtHoVeN:well, i could not bear the person to suffer in any way so that is why i helped, about the ego part, definitely no, cause I feel that it is troublesome but nevertheless have to do it -
There is an art to this act. Overdo it and you can look like an imbecile...but just a little of it can trigger the innate masculine instinct to step out and help the weak..
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i don't play along when i know its a game i'm bound to lose.seriously nothings gain from helping a girl who's delibrately asking for help.put it this way even if you wana impress a girl,when she's in need of help,all the guys come rushing to her and you stand aside in a corner who will she take notice of?the guys who came to help her or the one who decided not to..haha..well just my opinion and yes i agree with u that independence is not valued highly but dun let that bother u,soon people will come to realize how unique u are.
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Oh, I know what kind of girls you are talking about I have met a lot of them and yea, I can't stand them too. Especially those that act helpless and cute and didn't even lift a finger to try to complete the task. And I can't help noticing that those that get helped are all prettu babes who know how to turn guys around their little fingers...maybe it is the voice they use too...but for me, I find it a bit...goosebumps-inducing But apparently all these girls are always surrounded by guys willing to do anything for them...I don't know if it is because of their looks or because they know how to "act" and sort of "manipulate" the guys into doing stuff for them...
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You say it so well!!Originally posted by rainee:Oh, I know what kind of girls you are talking about I have met a lot of them and yea, I can't stand them too. Especially those that act helpless and cute and didn't even lift a finger to try to complete the task. And I can't help noticing that those that get helped are all prettu babes who know how to turn guys around their little fingers...maybe it is the voice they use too...but for me, I find it a bit...goosebumps-inducing But apparently all these girls are always surrounded by guys willing to do anything for them...I don't know if it is because of their looks or because they know how to "act" and sort of "manipulate" the guys into doing stuff for them...
I guess beauty plays a BIG part in this. I think if a not-so-pretty girl acts 'der', all the men will make a beeline for... the exit! -
I sort of have my integrity than to act this way...I find it a bit nauseating sometimes. But some of these girls are my frens, so I can't really say this out when I am among them, especially when they said how proud they are to be able to make so-and-so do this and that for them...Originally posted by Rhonda:You say it so well!!
I guess beauty plays a BIG part in this. I think if a not-so-pretty girl acts 'der', all the men will make a beeline for... the exit! -
Hey, I know what you mean! I, too, can only act 'der' to one man - my boyfriend. I can't bring myself to 'der' to anyone else.Originally posted by rainee:I sort of have my integrity than to act this way...I find it a bit nauseating sometimes. But some of these girls are my frens, so I can't really say this out when I am among them, especially when they said how proud they are to be able to make so-and-so do this and that for them...
And yeah, I know of female friends who do talk about how they manage to get the guys to do things for them too.
Ah well... -
haha yea, my dear can vouch how "der" I can be at times!Originally posted by Rhonda:Hey, I know what you mean! I, too, can only act 'der' to one man - my boyfriend. I can't bring myself to 'der' to anyone else.
And yeah, I know of female friends who do talk about how they manage to get the guys to do things for them too. Ah well... But yea, this act is only limited to him If I could, I would like to depend on myself more, but sadly there are times I have to ask for help from guys(reg. my projects) and they all like bo-song...but if another pretty girl asked them for help, they will all go and help...Talk about unfairness... -
Ah well, it just goes to prove that beauty DOES get you everywhere!Originally posted by rainee:haha yea, my dear can vouch how "der" I can be at times! But yea, this act is only limited to him If I could, I would like to depend on myself more, but sadly there are times I have to ask for help from guys(reg. my projects) and they all like bo-song...but if another pretty girl asked them for help, they will all go and help...Talk about unfairness... Or more appriately, in this case, beauty does get you every man.
There ARE men who don't fall for this act but they are few and far between. If you do meet one of these rare ones, you'll notice that they are the steady, mature, sort who can analyze things well. -
with all due respect to the female kind.. i think it's a priviledge that only you women have mah.. imagine a guy try to der someone into doing things for him??
eeee... *shudders*
I mean, guys are suckers for this sort of things.. that's a fact..
actually, I'm quite impress with girls who knows they have the "liao" to der and der ppl to their advantage. I know a girl who's smart, pretty, knows she's smart and pretty, and knows how to der.. You have to hand it to her lah.. cos she makes guys eat out of her hands.. -
Like that... orh... so it means only the chiobu's are allowed to 'der' and get away with it, right?Originally posted by k4korny:with all due respect to the female kind.. i think it's a priviledge that only you women have mah.. imagine a guy try to der someone into doing things for him??
eeee... *shudders*
I mean, guys are suckers for this sort of things.. that's a fact..
actually, I'm quite impress with girls who knows they have the "liao" to der and der ppl to their advantage. I know a girl who's smart, pretty, knows she's smart and pretty, and knows how to der.. You have to hand it to her lah.. cos she makes guys eat out of her hands..
Poor me, not chio, cannot 'der'! -
ahem!! ...Originally posted by Rhonda:There ARE men who don't fall for this act but they are few and far between. If you do meet one of these rare ones, you'll notice that they are the steady, mature, sort who can analyze things well.
yuan zai tian bian, jing zai yan qian.
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being independent, for me, is still the best thing...no need to get used to being dependent on others...one day when they have all disappeared, u will know you can still have yourself to fall on...Originally posted by Rhonda:Like that... orh... so it means only the chiobu's are allowed to 'der' and get away with it, right?
Poor me, not chio, cannot 'der'!
And "der" too much also will become a habit, in the end you will end up just letting other people do everything for u.. -
Eh! Quite contradictory to your earlier post!Originally posted by k4korny:ahem!! ...
yuan zai tian bian, jing zai yan qian. -
Yeah, but like what k4korny said in his post, men DO like it when women 'der'... BUT, only if the women are chiobu's!Originally posted by rainee:being independent, for me, is still the best thing...no need to get used to being dependent on others...one day when they have all disappeared, u will know you can still have yourself to fall on...
And "der" too much also will become a habit, in the end you will end up just letting other people do everything for u..
Only then, they can 'ing1 xiong2 jiu4 mei3', see? -
I am tempted to call them shallow now...but I better shut up before I get assaulted by the male population hereOriginally posted by Rhonda:Yeah, but like what k4korny said in his post, men DO like it when women 'der'... BUT, only if the women are chiobu's!
Only then, they can 'ing1 xiong2 jiu4 mei3', see?