Do guys like it when women act 'der' or helpless?
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Wah! You survived!!Originally posted by k4korny:*korny recovers, wipe off foam from his mouth..*
well... that wasn't that bad was it?
A commendable effort there!! *round of applause*
Next time, I think I'll have to go and buy those Mascara that lengthens your eyelashes to twice its original length and what-not... so that when I bat my eyelashes or open my eyes wiiiiide when I manja, the added visual effect will make the whole thing even more effective! Then, can give more men jobs to do!! -
gd nite and sweet dream
I better work on my project now...
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Is all I can say for this post
Come to think of it, the only person I am 'der' to is my liao gong.
But I can say some of my friends are not 'der' to guys only. They are 'der' to girls as well
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Yeah there are some females who laugh excessively at jokes that aren't even funny. They hit guys hands out of flirtation. I find it disgusting. Maybe that's why few guys went after me, 'cuz I'm too tough and am self-sufficient. And assertive, and always with a peice of mind to share. Oh well. I was not looking for wimps anyway.Originally posted by Rhonda:This topic of discussion came up recently when I was with friends. We were talking about how 'der' some of the females we know are, and how the guys around them seem to fall for it, and are suckers for the 'damsel-in-distress' act, even though it's very obvious to the rest of us that it's fake.
So, what's the real deal here? If you're a guy, do you genuinely like that or do you see right through the act but tolerate it out of politeness? -
After being in a girls' school for 4 years, stepping out to JC and UNI really disgusted me when I realized how cheap some people are and will do anything just to be with a girl who is deemed pretty, or a guy who is a stud. That's why I was pretty miserable in there. When I heard one of those phony conversations, I damn near puked. It fills me up with disgust, and then every pore on my body overflows with yuckiness. But the society is like that a lot of times. That's why I dislike hanging out in big groups, because they are usually one dimensional and cliquish with nothing interesting to share except look that girl/guy is hot. SO? Can he write? Is he intellectual. I bet those w hores only care if he has good grades from which they could copy his homework. NUS is one of the lamest and most depressing place. It's brimming with excitement of youth, except the phony quotient is much more overpowering.Originally posted by rainee:haha yea, my dear can vouch how "der" I can be at times! But yea, this act is only limited to him If I could, I would like to depend on myself more, but sadly there are times I have to ask for help from guys(reg. my projects) and they all like bo-song...but if another pretty girl asked them for help, they will all go and help...Talk about unfairness... -
if i can 'kah u' in the process or watch upskirt/downblouse i see no reason not to help. but my actions are dependent on the gal's external 'casing'....
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Originally posted by chunyong:if i can 'kah u' in the process or watch upskirt/downblouse i see no reason not to help. but my actions are dependent on the gal's external 'casing'....
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wow.Originally posted by foxwalk:After being in a girls' school for 4 years, stepping out to JC and UNI really disgusted me when I realized how cheap some people are and will do anything just to be with a girl who is deemed pretty, or a guy who is a stud. That's why I was pretty miserable in there. When I heard one of those phony conversations, I damn near puked. It fills me up with disgust, and then every pore on my body overflows with yuckiness. But the society is like that a lot of times. That's why I dislike hanging out in big groups, because they are usually one dimensional and cliquish with nothing interesting to share except look that girl/guy is hot. SO? Can he write? Is he intellectual. I bet those w hores only care if he has good grades from which they could copy his homework. NUS is one of the lamest and most depressing place. It's brimming with excitement of youth, except the phony quotient is much more overpowering. -
hmp... i guess recd from comments i am der.. but again i am not those type der to the extent cnt even lift a hand on things..
Juz somehow out of of sudden and no where the der came out..
No i want ? humhhh...
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As long as you don't use it to mislead or take advantage of others I guess it is ok...Originally posted by subarugal:hmp... i guess recd from comments i am der.. but again i am not those type der to the extent cnt even lift a hand on things..
Juz somehow out of of sudden and no where the der came out..
No i want ? humhhh... -
I agree! Makes my hair stand on end when I witness such things! *shiver*Originally posted by foxwalk:Yeah there are some females who laugh excessively at jokes that aren't even funny. They hit guys hands out of flirtation. I find it disgusting. Maybe that's why few guys went after me, 'cuz I'm too tough and am self-sufficient. And assertive, and always with a peice of mind to share. Oh well. I was not looking for wimps anyway. -
I think I am more "scared" of their der-der voice...
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after having read through so much, cannot resist adding my meagre two-pence and playing the adversary defending the "manja"s... rooting for the underdog, being controversial and what not. can't help it.
btw, i realise the subject's " Do guys like it when women act 'der' or helpless?" i prefer to use "manja" / "deh" than "der" as i think the latter sounds like play dumb while it's in actual fact more just a matter of "sa-jiao". as appears to be the direction that this thread is heading...
the impression i got was that most of the ppl who post here think that:
1) it's ok to manja but only to ONE man in your life (at any one pt in time?) but anything other than that is manipulative and/or bimbotic
2) manja-ing is a cheapo way of getting things done for you
3) manja girls are chiobus
i manja and i'm not ashamed to admit it. i manja to my close guy friends and even some of my girlfriends. they do the same to me. i don't "act helpless" but i ask for help when i need / want it. and they give it within their means because they want to. n besides, not all manja-ing comes with an ulterior motive. sometimes, it's simply in jest.
what's wrong? we're good friends and we know it's all in good fun. if as an onlooker you cannot differentiate between manipulation and good fun, on what basis do you go about classifying it as the former? what happened to doubts and the benefits given thereof?
just because my guy frens do nice things for me such as help me carry heavy shopping, open cans etc doesn't mean i'm making use of them. i know guys who absolutely refuse to let me carry anything other than my own handbag when we go out together, without me having to ask or bat an eyelash. they're gentlemen. what's wrong?
i only manja to guys whom i know "can take it". i.e. can see it for what it is - a laugh. and if they're ok with it, wherefore should a third party take offence?
of course, i stop short of girls who use it to manipulate men to do their biddings like zombies/slaves purely for their own selfish pleasure / convenience. that, of course, is another story. i dun do that, at least not that i know of. hahaaa... but think of it this way, the guys are all willing, thinking adults. if they refuse to or do not want to do something, who can make them? it really does takes 2 hands to clap, u know...
why do we think less of the girl who manja and get her way as compared to the girl who tried to manja, did not get her way and decided not to manja anymore because of that? what's the difference? success and failure. c'est tout.
of course, if it's not in your nature to manja and you prefer to be independant, then good for you! i admire and applaud your strength.
but that's no reason to put down the other camp to the extent of expressing such extreme emotions such as disgust and vomit over their behaviour.
p.s. not refering to all those who posted here. just the more extreme cases...
oh yes, btw, i'm not a chiobu and i dun think i'm a bimbo so... kinda refutes the case, huh? :p -
there is a limit until insulin is necessary and projectile vomit ensures
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NUS..never had any real spirit to begin with.Originally posted by foxwalk:After being in a girls' school for 4 years, stepping out to JC and UNI really disgusted me when I realized how cheap some people are and will do anything just to be with a girl who is deemed pretty, or a guy who is a stud. That's why I was pretty miserable in there. When I heard one of those phony conversations, I damn near puked. It fills me up with disgust, and then every pore on my body overflows with yuckiness. But the society is like that a lot of times. That's why I dislike hanging out in big groups, because they are usually one dimensional and cliquish with nothing interesting to share except look that girl/guy is hot. SO? Can he write? Is he intellectual. I bet those w hores only care if he has good grades from which they could copy his homework. NUS is one of the lamest and most depressing place. It's brimming with excitement of youth, except the phony quotient is much more overpowering.
Heh.You were from an all girls school..I was from an all boys school.10 years of that.I do understand what you mean, some of the guys I know are easily manipulated by a sweet face and a weak voice.
Me?If a lady cannot help herself, she does not deserve any help from me.I want independant ladies, not manipulative poofters who only know how to nuzzle their way into a guy's pocket or his car.
Walk alone and walk tall, you will find your own circle that feels the same,and that a close circle of like minded intellects is better than a large gaggle of airblown coneheads. -
It might be prudent to explore the various possibilities as to the reason why these women really behave the way they do.Originally posted by Rhonda:From observation. Honestly, I cannot stand it when I see it happening, it makes me sick. But then, I look over at the guys and they seem to melt into a puddle when that happens so, ah well!
My friends and I would look at each other and when we see it happening. Sometimes, certain people have a reputation for doing that so when they're around, there's a lot of going on! 
Sorry but I'm a bit too independant maybe. In this society, independance doesn't seem to be a value that's upheld much, especially in women.
Sometimes it's simply a matter of survival. Just as there are women who are over achievers, independent or plain lazy, there are those who really can't do their jobs to save their lives. But they need to survive in this world too and for that to happen, they have to resort to any help they can get from their colleagues so they don't get the boot. Women colleagues generally aren't as helpful as the men, particularly if their fellow colleague is prettier than they are or has men swarming around her like bees. It's really quite pitiful, especially if they're saddled with family responsibilities. They can be among your friends and you won't have a clue why they choose to 'charm' a guy into helping them. They might rather have their women pals think they're able to supposedly twist men around their fingers than to be looked down on for their near zero capacity working ability. -
neuros, it IS disturbing to a 3rd party when the 3rd party happens to be around as well, do not wish to witness such things, but have to simply because he/she happens to be around at the same gathering.
I guess we all wouldn't give a hoot if the girl manja's and the guys fall all over themselves like dominoes trying to help her and no one else who doesn't want to see it is around to witness it. But one's behaviour always has consequences to the people who luckily or unluckily, happen to be around them too.
If I don't see it, I don't hear it, I wouldn't feel nauseous. And from the opinions voiced here by others, it DOES affect us somewhat to be an unwilling witness to this behaviour.
Anyways one man's meat is another man's poison. And oops!... We have digressed from the original topic of discussion! -
Well,as long as they are not malicious in their intent..I guess we should cut these gals some slack..just don't overdo it.
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i guess it's all a matter of extent. frankly, if it's too much, i myself also can't stand it!Originally posted by Rhonda:neuros, it IS disturbing to a 3rd party when the 3rd party happens to be around as well, do not wish to witness such things, but have to simply because he/she happens to be around at the same gathering.
I guess we all wouldn't give a hoot if the girl manja's and the guys fall all over themselves like dominoes trying to help her and no one else who doesn't want to see it is around to witness it. But one's behaviour always has consequences to the people who luckily or unluckily, happen to be around them too.
If I don't see it, I don't hear it, I wouldn't feel nauseous. And from the opinions voiced here by others, it DOES affect us somewhat to be an unwilling witness to this behaviour.
Anyways one man's meat is another man's poison. And oops!... We have digressed from the original topic of discussion!
As the Bear puts it so aptly,
i jus think we should not "capsize a boat with one bamboo stick" so easily. again, let me quote another post i fully agree with,Originally posted by the Bear:there is a limit until insulin is necessary and projectile vomit ensures
==> well-put, lazerlordz. u managed to summarise my lengthy tirade into 3 short sentences! *applause*Originally posted by LazerLordz:Well,as long as they are not malicious in their intent..I guess we should cut these gals some slack..just don't overdo it. -
Only when the situation calls for, also taking into consideration, who is the victim & the amount of "dneh" given. Dun suka suka luan luan "dneh" can liao.
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Originally posted by Camellias4me:Only when the situation calls for, also taking into consideration, who is the victim & the amount of "dneh" given. Dun suka suka luan luan "dneh" can liao.
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Agreed.Originally posted by LazerLordz:Well,as long as they are not malicious in their intent..I guess we should cut these gals some slack..just don't overdo it.
Always rant in moderation otherwise it can work against you...
P.S. I may be biased in my comments... -
Oh man, the dialogue between Rhonda and k4korny!!! You folks are funny!!!! I thought I was reading some sitcome.
And Camellias4me.......stylo milo man you...... While most posts very well written with their view, my fav. is your that "Dun suka suka luan luan "dneh" can liao". -
Oooh... we seem to have ruffled some feathers here. Ah, forgot... you like your women very 'der'.Originally posted by EricDraven:Agreed.
Always rant in moderation otherwise it can work against you...
P.S. I may be biased in my comments... -
har?
I not too understand the question leh.... maybe I don't even bothered to realise these things