Ode To The Nice Guys
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Ode To The Nice Guys
-first published in The Wharton Undergraduate Jounal, University of Pennsylvania.
Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that
finish last, that never become more than friends, that
endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes
guys are, while disproving the very point. This is
dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to
lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those
guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the
back and sit patiently outside the changing room at
department stores. This is in honor of the guys that
obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy
their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because
they know most girls need that litany of support. This is
in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back
attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the
guys who respect a girlÂ’s every facet, from her privacy to
her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered
female friends back from parties and never take advantage
once theyÂ’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls
to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male
population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for
compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who
always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor
cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend
material but somehow donÂ’t end up being boyfriends, for all
the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and
unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated,
misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your
cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three
hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend
said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her
boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it
was all ok and she shouldnÂ’t worry about it. This is for
that time she interrupted the best killing spree youÂ’d ever
orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that
romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most
repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought
it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you
paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a
counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for
that time she didnÂ’t have a date, so after numerous vows
that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you,
she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer
was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying
each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone:
“oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were
invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you
went anyways. Because youÂ’re nice like that.
The nice guys donÂ’t often get credit where credit is due.
And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys donÂ’t seem to
get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could
logically explain this trend, but I canÂ’t. From what I have
observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to
friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only
conclusion I can form is that many girls are just
illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they
just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such
a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as
“oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good
boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with
so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the
most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our
friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of
datable men in the world, and they expect their
too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize
for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that
are beyond my ability to fathom. I canÂ’t figure out why the
connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice
guy!) and what they do (IÂ’m going to sleep with this
complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the
nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesnÂ’t last forever.
There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train
of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys,
not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding
those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are
single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all
the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know youÂ’re sick
of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the
truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in
the department store, your holding open of doors, your
party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker
for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things
you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the
faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement,
and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in
this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming. -
Thank you thank you,finally i'm getting appreciated..
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Fuck, if these guys are getting laid everyday, won't that make them the Bastards that girls swoon for?Originally posted by thinger:Ode To The Nice Guys
-first published in The Wharton Undergraduate Jounal, University of Pennsylvania.
Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003
And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys donÂ’t seem to
get laid as often as they should. -
URGENT MESSAGE :
Call me when you meet such a nice guy who's still single, unattached, and in his 30's.
I've read this before somewhere... I think, was it SL who posted it before? But anyways, it was good to read it again.
-
There's a fine line between being a nice guy and being a loser.Originally posted by stellazio:Thank you thank you,finally i'm getting appreciated..
Guess which side are you on? -
Thanks, pal..
that's a good one.
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Out of the 4 tests,i pass 3..Still pass la hor?Originally posted by Rhonda:URGENT MESSAGE :
Call me when you meet such a nice guy who's still single, unattached, and in his 30's.
I've read this before somewhere... I think, was it SL who posted it before? But anyways, it was good to read it again. -
Hmm... you know what, most 'nice guys' who do that, do so because they're to a certain degree, attracted to the girl.
So, kinda got ulterior motive one. 
They're kinda waiting in the sidelines, waiting for the girl to fall in love with them, so they hafta act like the knight in shining armour in the meantime!
How many guys would do all that for a girl who's 'just a friend'? And how many would actually do that for a girl who's 'just a friend' and physically not attractive at all?? -
Nice guys are always losing out on the great girls...Originally posted by charlize:There's a fine line between being a nice guy and being a loser.
Guess which side are you on? -
no one said everyday.Originally posted by charlize:Fuck, if these guys are getting laid everyday, won't that make them the Bastards that girls swoon for? -
I think for me as long as a girl can liao,and thankfully for they physically not attractive part,i haven't had to test myself with it...Originally posted by Rhonda:Hmm... you know what, most 'nice guys' who do that, do so because they're to a certain degree, attracted to the girl. So, kinda got ulterior motive one. They're kinda waiting in the sidelines, waiting for the girl to fall in love with them, so they hafta act like the knight in shining armour in the meantime!
How many guys would do all that for a girl who's 'just a friend'? And how many would actually do that for a girl who's 'just a friend' and physically not attractive at all?? -
Eh... you're what... still in your teens??!!!Originally posted by stellazio:Out of the 4 tests,i pass 3..Still pass la hor? 
Horror of horrors... you're hawking yourself as a 'Xiao3 Bai2 Lian3'??!!! -
See! See!!! You now only meet two out of the four criteria... you failed the 'nice' bit liao!!Originally posted by stellazio:I think for me as long as a girl can liao,and thankfully for they physically not attractive part,i haven't had to test myself with it... -
Beauty, brains, availability, personality; pick any two.Originally posted by Rhonda:URGENT MESSAGE :
Call me when you meet such a nice guy who's still single, unattached, and in his 30's. -
So tell me what's the rule of thumb to qualify as a nice guy who gets laid?Originally posted by thinger:no one said everyday.
Once a day? Once a week? Once every time Halley's comet approaches earth? -
What,i just said i pass the nice guy,single and unattached tests ma..Fail 1 out of 4 is still 75% OK..Originally posted by Rhonda:Eh... you're what... still in your teens??!!!
Horror of horrors... you're hawking yourself as a 'Xiao3 Bai2 Lian3'??!!! -
uhmm....... 25 boleh ? ....Originally posted by Rhonda:URGENT MESSAGE :
Call me when you meet such a nice guy who's still single, unattached, and in his 30's.
I've read this before somewhere... I think, was it SL who posted it before? But anyways, it was good to read it again. -
But seriously male or females friends,if they happen to be drunk i'll bring them home cause likewise i know they'll do that for me..Originally posted by Rhonda:See! See!!! You now only meet two out of the four criteria... you failed the 'nice' bit liao!! -
whenever you feel like, babyOriginally posted by charlize:So tell me what's the rule of thumb to qualify as a nice guy who gets laid?
Once a day? Once a week? Once every time Halley's comet approaches earth? -
heh. likewise.Originally posted by stellazio:But seriously male or females friends,if they happen to be drunk i'll bring them home cause likewise i know they'll do that for me..
you slut. -
agreedOriginally posted by Rhonda:Hmm... you know what, most 'nice guys' who do that, do so because they're to a certain degree, attracted to the girl. So, kinda got ulterior motive one. They're kinda waiting in the sidelines, waiting for the girl to fall in love with them, so they hafta act like the knight in shining armour in the meantime!
How many guys would do all that for a girl who's 'just a friend'? And how many would actually do that for a girl who's 'just a friend' and physically not attractive at all?? 
what can I say, we are all just humans -
hm can i argue that. not most...many. a lot of them dont have motives.Originally posted by Rhonda:Hmm... you know what, most 'nice guys' who do that, do so because they're to a certain degree, attracted to the girl. So, kinda got ulterior motive one. They're kinda waiting in the sidelines, waiting for the girl to fall in love with them, so they hafta act like the knight in shining armour in the meantime!
How many guys would do all that for a girl who's 'just a friend'? And how many would actually do that for a girl who's 'just a friend' and physically not attractive at all?? -
Originally posted by thinger:hm can i argue that. not most...many. a lot of them dont have motives.
u so sure
at least 2 of my friends I know of, is interested in the gals that they are so nice to.
guys r practical creatures, not many will waste time if they r not expecting a return -
get new friends (=Originally posted by Kenashi:
u so sure
at least 2 of my friends I know of, is interested in the gals that they are so nice to.
guys r practical creatures, not many will waste time if they r not expecting a return -
Originally posted by thinger:get new friends (=
who r we to judge ppl, all of us r equal.
I don't see anything wrong with that furthermore the gals don't seem to mind