vent my frustrations here ok...
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Steph, I remembered you had pretty expensive tastes, going by the clutch bag thread you started in here, right?
And then now, like what some folks here mentioned earlier, you kept harping on how 'poor' your guy is.
That does sound like it bothers you a lot, perhaps, more than you would care to admit. Maybe, you're scared of being labelled 'shallow' or 'materialistic'? However, you do have a lifestyle that you're comfortable with, and standards that you would expect and if you do not feel confident that he will meet your expectations, you might slowly start to dislike or even, resent that very fact.
Maybe, you want to believe in an ideal love, and so, you're struggling with your concept of a perfect love, and the reality?
How serious are you both in the relationship? Seems as if your 2nd Anniversary is very important to you but from the way he acted, it looks like he has different ideas on it.
Maybe, it's time to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk. Or, maybe, because most guys will shudder at the thought of having such a talk, it might be best to be honest, and look at the entire situation without prejudice and see it objectively. A lot of times, when we're in love, the world is viewed through rose-tinted glasses and everything the guy says is interpreted positively, even if he's subtly trying to tell us 'No'.
I'm guilty of it myself! 
We all are, because it's human to hope.
These are just my honest thoughts on this matter! -
poor...
forget it la... i don't think you know what you want. -
relax gal. have a talk with ur bf n find out wats the prob btw u 2.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOriginally posted by jOhO:all i can say is.. the sex must/had better be good. -
seriously speaking, I don't see a reason for the words poor to be mentioned or brought up as an issue in the first place.
maybe i'm doing selective reading but i think the way the information portrayed to me was from a materialitic and demanding girl.
charlize said that it is time to examine, and you don't know what to examine.
here's a list i can think of :
1) is being poor an issue to you? do you feel that you're not going to places because he's poor?
2) is the relationship so boring and meaningless that you have to go somewhere, rather than being happy that both of you are hanging out and doing nothing?
3) does he feel that the anniversary is that important to you? some people die die must celebrate birthdays and I feel that its not necessary at all. Different people, different thinking. For 2 years and you don't know his mentality/thinking?
4) throwing a tantrum and expecting a guy to sayang you? Well maybe if through these 2 years, you have found out the way he is, I'm sure the situation would have been handled better. In 2 years I would expect you to know that if you throw a tantrum, will he console you? If after 2 years and you are still wondering why he doesn't do that, then I think this relationship you're having is just too 'empty'.
That's what I think and that's for you to examine. -
Very good advice, kopi!
I forgot about the tantrum bit.
In relationships, there HAS to be a give and take. If you keep throwing tantrums, expecting him to give in to you and pander to your every need, at first, he might think it's 'cute' but after a while, the novelty will wear off and it becomes irritating.
Besides, I think that throwing tantrums is self-serving and definitely not a plus point.
It's 'cute' to watch that Korean actress in 'My Sassy Girl' go around throwing tantrums and all that, isn't it?
But in real life, it gets pukey!
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first things first... i did not throw a tantrum la.. a tantrum is a tantrum when it is based on unfounded reasons?? to me this is a big thing as forgetting our meeting time on the anniversary. i wasn't throwing a tantrum. i was seriously angry and felt kinda disappointed.Originally posted by kopiosatu:seriously speaking, I don't see a reason for the words poor to be mentioned or brought up as an issue in the first place.
maybe i'm doing selective reading but i think the way the information portrayed to me was from a materialitic and demanding girl.
charlize said that it is time to examine, and you don't know what to examine.
here's a list i can think of :
1) is being poor an issue to you? do you feel that you're not going to places because he's poor?
2) is the relationship so boring and meaningless that you have to go somewhere, rather than being happy that both of you are hanging out and doing nothing?
3) does he feel that the anniversary is that important to you? some people die die must celebrate birthdays and I feel that its not necessary at all. Different people, different thinking. For 2 years and you don't know his mentality/thinking?
4) throwing a tantrum and expecting a guy to sayang you? Well maybe if through these 2 years, you have found out the way he is, I'm sure the situation would have been handled better. In 2 years I would expect you to know that if you throw a tantrum, will he console you? If after 2 years and you are still wondering why he doesn't do that, then I think this relationship you're having is just too 'empty'.
That's what I think and that's for you to examine.
in the past, ok at least my 1st anniversary, he made a card, gimme roses he wrapped himself.. things that are cheap but i felt very happi...
this yr..nothing... plus forgot our meeting time.
And ya, he is poor compared to me. I'm always lamenting it... but i still love him la. i dunno how to tell u all.. maybe u all think im so shallow or wad.. its ok. all i can say is i've been a gd gf and have taken care of him financially and non-financially. with regards to how i treat him n care for him, i have no guilt at all.
as for the part u say that the r/s is boring unless we go somewhere.. i nv say i think my r/s is boring.. actually today we meet.. is only to go to a kopitiam near my sch for prata... its very normal. but then, he forgot the meeting time. when last night only jus say... cos he say wan treat me to a gd meal on sat, but i say no need tml go eat prata can le. but he forgot the next day liao. i dunno how u all see it la. but i very angry n sad that he can forget abt it so fast. and when i call him and said i tot we agreed on the meeting time, he never say sorry about forgetting.
About the poor part, we oso talked b4. Sometimes when things get really bad, i will grumble.. but i'm only grumbling.. i jus hope wadever he cant provide with money, he can make up with other things.
ok maybe i've earned my reputation now as a difficult beech liao.
Nevertheless, i jus wanna say, i started this thread jus now in a moment of fury. jus to vent my emotions n frustrations..... never tot to have to handle so many comments now... i didnt post in AA cos i not looking for advice ma... -
ok...Originally posted by Steph84:first things first... i did not throw a tantrum la.. a tantrum is a tantrum when it is based on unfounded reasons?? to me this is a big thing as forgetting our meeting time on the anniversary. i wasn't throwing a tantrum. i was seriously angry and felt kinda disappointed.
in the past, ok at least my 1st anniversary, he made a card, gimme roses he wrapped himself.. things that are cheap but i felt very happi...
this yr..nothing... plus forgot our meeting time.
And ya, he is poor compared to me. I'm always lamenting it... but i still love him la. i dunno how to tell u all.. maybe u all think im so shallow or wad.. its ok. all i can say is i've been a gd gf and have taken care of him financially and non-financially. with regards to how i treat him n care for him, i have no guilt at all.
as for the part u say that the r/s is boring unless we go somewhere.. i nv say i think my r/s is boring.. actually today we meet.. is only to go to a kopitiam near my sch for prata... its very normal. but then, he forgot the meeting time. when last night only jus say... cos he say wan treat me to a gd meal on sat, but i say no need tml go eat prata can le. but he forgot the next day liao. i dunno how u all see it la. but i very angry n sad that he can forget abt it so fast. and when i call him and said i tot we agreed on the meeting time, he never say sorry about forgetting.
About the poor part, we oso talked b4. Sometimes when things get really bad, i will grumble.. but i'm only grumbling.. i jus hope wadever he cant provide with money, he can make up with other things.
ok maybe i've earned my reputation now as a difficult beech liao.
Nevertheless, i jus wanna say, i started this thread jus now in a moment of fury. jus to vent my emotions n frustrations..... never tot to have to handle so many comments now... i didnt post in AA cos i not looking for advice ma...
But you did mention the word "poor" many times.. Are you sure its not an underlying reason? Just food for thought -
but you said you chased him out of your car wor. if i were him, i won't talk to you again le. got car bah bai meh?Originally posted by Steph84:first things first... i did not throw a tantrum la.. a tantrum is a tantrum when it is based on unfounded reasons?? to me this is a big thing as forgetting our meeting time on the anniversary. i wasn't throwing a tantrum. i was seriously angry and felt kinda disappointed.
in the past, ok at least my 1st anniversary, he made a card, gimme roses he wrapped himself.. things that are cheap but i felt very happi...
this yr..nothing... plus forgot our meeting time.
And ya, he is poor compared to me. I'm always lamenting it... but i still love him la. i dunno how to tell u all.. maybe u all think im so shallow or wad.. its ok. all i can say is i've been a gd gf and have taken care of him financially and non-financially. with regards to how i treat him n care for him, i have no guilt at all.
as for the part u say that the r/s is boring unless we go somewhere.. i nv say i think my r/s is boring.. actually today we meet.. is only to go to a kopitiam near my sch for prata... its very normal. but then, he forgot the meeting time. when last night only jus say... cos he say wan treat me to a gd meal on sat, but i say no need tml go eat prata can le. but he forgot the next day liao. i dunno how u all see it la. but i very angry n sad that he can forget abt it so fast. and when i call him and said i tot we agreed on the meeting time, he never say sorry about forgetting.
About the poor part, we oso talked b4. Sometimes when things get really bad, i will grumble.. but i'm only grumbling.. i jus hope wadever he cant provide with money, he can make up with other things.
ok maybe i've earned my reputation now as a difficult beech liao.
Nevertheless, i jus wanna say, i started this thread jus now in a moment of fury. jus to vent my emotions n frustrations..... never tot to have to handle so many comments now... i didnt post in AA cos i not looking for advice ma... 
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i feel like "it was u who told me to stay with u and ren ur poor-ness till better times, and then now u gimme this crap".Originally posted by DriftingGuy:ok...
But you did mention the word "poor" many times.. Are you sure its not an underlying reason? Just food for thought
ya think thats y i keep saying poor. the poor words jus came.. i didnt consciously add them in.
maybe i mind his poor-ness more den i know den... -
not bah bai of cos. usually we go out is he drive one. guy drive more sud. but i drove him out in a moment of anger la. cos he shouted at me.Originally posted by ppinkpponk:but you said you chased him out of your car wor. if i were him, i won't talk to you again le. got car bah bai meh? -
Steph, just wanted to add that in a relationship, there should be equality. There should be an attitude of wanting to roll up your sleeves and work together to build a better future for both, not just one promising the other a better life. Then, what's your role?Originally posted by Steph84:i feel like "it was u who told me to stay with u and ren ur poor-ness till better times, and then now u gimme this crap".
ya think thats y i keep saying poor. the poor words jus came.. i didnt consciously add them in.
maybe i mind his poor-ness more den i know den...
I know you feel like you've been long-suffering cause it comes out a lot in your posts. But, hey, in a relationship, one shouldn't be keeping tally of things as if one 'qian4's the other, like that. That will result in a very lop-sided and unhealthy relationship.
Sure, we don't know why he forgot about your meeting, and neither do we know what might have caused him to 'hold back'. That's something only he can tell you, IF he wants to tell you.
Steph, don't mind our posts. It's good that at least, we care enough to respond to you! -
Oh yeah, Steph, gotta add something.
Club 30 folks tend to be outspoken. We say things like they are, we sometimes are too frank and don't mince our words.
It might be tough for some to stomach, especially if they're looking for molly-cuddling. But you know what, at least, we tell you the truth! And, we don't have ill intentions except to maybe, offer you a different perspective on the issue. -
we started speaking to each other liao jus now.. we've always been like tat.. any quarrels, after awhile, we jus pretend that the quarrel didnt happen jus tok normally again....Originally posted by Rhonda:Oh yeah, Steph, gotta add something.
Club 30 folks tend to be outspoken. We say things like they are, we sometimes are too frank and don't mince our words.
It might be tough for some to stomach, especially if they're looking for molly-cuddling. But you know what, at least, we tell you the truth! And, we don't have ill intentions except to maybe, offer you a different perspective on the issue. 
Ya its ok.. thanks for the replies. its better than the crap in some other forums.. thats y im starting to be more active in this forum..
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ya lar.. for some, love ain't everything.
one thing about this "poorness" issue, i know it's come out as if u are a person that's quite materialistic, but we know you're not *coff*coff*
but i guess u could remind urself, that no one wants to be poor. including him.
and i dare say, most men wanna be rich enuff for their gfs. if he loves her, he would wanna provide for her in monetary terms.
and quite honestly, that part is EASY, if u think about it.
women are demanding.
*runs away* -
i wan rich gf leh
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Originally posted by kopiosatu:i wan rich gf leh
But rich girls want even richer men leh! How?
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i dun think karena is like that lehOriginally posted by Rhonda:
But rich girls want even richer men leh! How? -
Oh, izzit??Originally posted by kopiosatu:i dun think karena is like that leh
Then, how's she going to get the money for her facials and spa treatments and her expensive designer clothes and shoes and handbags and accessories and makeup and skincare and hairdressing and... and... and... -
actresses earn more than the peanuts i'm taking homeOriginally posted by Rhonda:Oh, izzit??
Then, how's she going to get the money for her facials and spa treatments and her expensive designer clothes and shoes and handbags and accessories and makeup and skincare and hairdressing and... and... and...
she can pay for those herself, i just wanna be xiao bai lian -
Why would she want a xiao bai lian if she can have all the sugar daddies she wants?Originally posted by kopiosatu:actresses earn more than the peanuts i'm taking home
she can pay for those herself, i just wanna be xiao bai lian
Unless...
Unless, you've got some special 'skills'! -
Ah well, here, we tend to voice pretty strong opinions, but you know why?Originally posted by Steph84:we started speaking to each other liao jus now.. we've always been like tat.. any quarrels, after awhile, we jus pretend that the quarrel didnt happen jus tok normally again....
Ya its ok.. thanks for the replies. its better than the crap in some other forums.. thats y im starting to be more active in this forum..
It's because we care and feel for the issue at hand, that's why!
You'll stay on if you have the stomach for the harsh reality! -
when r/s failed... both parties will find faults and pin-point at each other...
sometime it make me wonder whether true love really exists?
keypoint: understanding and learn to give in -
hahahaha~ special xiao bai lian specially for her mah.Originally posted by Rhonda:Why would she want a xiao bai lian if she can have all the sugar daddies she wants?
Unless...
Unless, you've got some special 'skills'!
the skill, cannot expose here later others will copy -
maybe its not love.. sometimes love becomes commitment..Originally posted by 798:when r/s failed... both parties will find faults and pin-point at each other...
sometime it make me wonder whether true love really exists?
keypoint: understanding and learn to give in