Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinner Horrors!!
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It's tasteless because it intimidates those who come to at least come with one... and it's tasteless because it is NO longer given out of free will, but with much obligation. And the amount given is no longer given because that's what you think you can give but given to defray how much each table cost.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:what if someone doesn't give u an angpow, but cash inside a wedding card? You know hallmark cards have a range of those.. nowadays.. with the money holder.
Or if the person give you a shopping voucher? Is it still consider bad to you?
How about the wedding gift registry customs common in the states where you just choose a gift within your budget from a list of items couples state they want?
What about repeated gifts? What would you do with gifts you do not want/already have one of/can't keep cos lack of space/don't fit in with decor? (I had a total of 3 bibles given to me for my wedding
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Asking cos I am wondering if the angpow custom is distasteful to you because
1. you feel that people 'expect' angpow so it is not very nice.
2. cash is involved so it is not nice.
3. you feel that people 'expect' a certain amount cos it is not nice
4. Because it is cash IN an angpow which has all of the above connotations.
5. None of the above...
How abt giving angpows during wedding? I gave my cousins, brothers etc angpows too during my customary. Do you think that should be abolished too and replace with something else?
A friend of mine sent me $50 cash with a thank you card for helping out after her wedding. She said it was because most weddings the bride/grooms will give angpow to their jiemeis/brothers, but they didn't have a customary but still appreciate the help we gave for wrapping her favours etc. What do you all feel about that?
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frm wat i noe. usually dinner u will earn some profit ones...
so u can cover ur wedding grown, rental of cars... rings, preparation works n etc.
well, as long the guests u invited arent niao with the ang pow.. if not. there no reason of suffering a huge lost -
Originally posted by shinta:hmm how about.... gettin preggy before the whole thing actually finalised and say sorry i can't hold the customary wedding dinner YET... cos i have a bulging tummy n will definitely not look good in front of relatives etc...
den they'd just forget about it... since u're already preggy with their grandchild...
or if they insist.. den say sth like doc advises no stress yadayada
Yeah, tell grandma that "Sorry, ah ma! The raw grains has been cooked into rice liao!!" -
Like I said, most of us here don't have poor relatives. Or majority of your friends doesn't have.Originally posted by edLow:frm wat i noe. usually dinner u will earn some profit ones...
so u can cover ur wedding grown, rental of cars... rings, preparation works n etc.
well, as long the guests u invited arent niao with the ang pow.. if not. there no reason of suffering a huge lost
You know, a good majority in Singapore fare quite well, but we always have that small minority that still suffers in life. -
Y'know, each time this topic's being discussed, the issue of ang pow's and defraying the costs of the dinner always comes up.
Why can't there be other ways of holding a feast and announcing the marriage to relatives and friends?
Why can't there be a buffet lunch or a buffet dinner, for instance? And why can't the venue be at home? Or like the Malays, held at the HDB ground floor deck?
I think buffets would encourage people to move about and mingle. It also gives a pretty casual air, compared to a sit-down dinner. Plus, it also fulfills the motive of announcing the marriage to all and asunder.
Why MUST there be a traditional Chinese wedding dinner?
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Old-fashioned tradition and notions die hard.Originally posted by Rhonda:Why MUST there be a traditional Chinese wedding dinner?
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think u meant a few years ago when everyone takes back around 2k every mth..Originally posted by edLow:frm wat i noe. usually dinner u will earn some profit ones...
so u can cover ur wedding grown, rental of cars... rings, preparation works n etc.
well, as long the guests u invited arent niao with the ang pow.. if not. there no reason of suffering a huge lost -
Originally posted by Rhonda:
Yeah, tell grandma that "Sorry, ah ma! The raw grains has been cooked into rice liao!!" -
Ancient Custom where Rich family host a wedding dinner in a respected Chinese Restaurant....Originally posted by Rhonda:Y'know, each time this topic's being discussed, the issue of ang pow's and defraying the costs of the dinner always comes up.
Why can't there be other ways of holding a feast and announcing the marriage to relatives and friends?
Why can't there be a buffet lunch or a buffet dinner, for instance? And why can't the venue be at home? Or like the Malays, held at the HDB ground floor deck?
I think buffets would encourage people to move about and mingle. It also gives a pretty casual air, compared to a sit-down dinner. Plus, it also fulfills the motive of announcing the marriage to all and asunder.
Why MUST there be a traditional Chinese wedding dinner?
Plus too many HK movies/dramas to re-emphasize the need of a wedding dinner. -
errrmm....if you look at page 9, the discussion has moved into real "Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinners Horrors!!!!"Originally posted by Rhonda:Y'know, each time this topic's being discussed, the issue of ang pow's and defraying the costs of the dinner always comes up.
Why can't there be other ways of holding a feast and announcing the marriage to relatives and friends?
Why can't there be a buffet lunch or a buffet dinner, for instance? And why can't the venue be at home? Or like the Malays, held at the HDB ground floor deck?
I think buffets would encourage people to move about and mingle. It also gives a pretty casual air, compared to a sit-down dinner. Plus, it also fulfills the motive of announcing the marriage to all and asunder.
Why MUST there be a traditional Chinese wedding dinner?
remember to affix more hollywood tapes. -
u mean shot gun?Originally posted by Deportivo:errrmm....if you look at page 9, the discussion has moved into real "Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinners Horrors!!!!"
remember to affix more hollywood tapes.
or get preggy so that u can avoid dinners? -
exposed breast.Originally posted by shinta:u mean shot gun?
or get preggy so that u can avoid dinners? -
*looks at how the word bweast came out properly....*Originally posted by Deportivo:exposed breast.
ahem.
oh.. that.
where???
in teh post on ur thots of the thread title? -
my bro attend his classmates wedding which is held as a buffet lunch style at OCC.Originally posted by Rhonda:Y'know, each time this topic's being discussed, the issue of ang pow's and defraying the costs of the dinner always comes up.
Why can't there be other ways of holding a feast and announcing the marriage to relatives and friends?
Why can't there be a buffet lunch or a buffet dinner, for instance? And why can't the venue be at home? Or like the Malays, held at the HDB ground floor deck?
I think buffets would encourage people to move about and mingle. It also gives a pretty casual air, compared to a sit-down dinner. Plus, it also fulfills the motive of announcing the marriage to all and asunder.
Why MUST there be a traditional Chinese wedding dinner?
guess it really depend on the parents sometime. my frds are getting married and they dont intend for a dinner. but both their parents insist on a dinner..
last time chinese do hold their dinner at hdb grd floor. but becos of face prob... dinner end up holding at resturant / hotel. -
Actually, those Malay wedding celebrations are pretty fun to attend, plus, they don't run into astronomical bills, and family and friends turn up to help, or to congratulate the couple in droves!
Their community is close-knit so it's easy for them to gather relatives to help out with the cooking and the preparations.
And they are also close-knit so when someone gets married, the entire kampong turns up to give the wedding couple their blessings.
Have you ever heard the Malays complain that they have to bao big big ang pow's and money therefore becomes a deterrant and a huge damper to the happy wedding celebratory spirit?
True, I don't think I can ever round up that many relatives to help out with mass cooking, and I don't think we have that expertise like they do. But what I'm trying to point out is that there are alternative ways to celebrate and announce a wedding, ways that are more intimate, more casual, and yet, everyone has fun, and the onus is not on earning 'profits' or 'breaking even', but really on the exuberance and joy of two people who've chosen to love each other deeply enough to live the rest of their lives together, as one family unit.
Now, do you get THAT essence and spirit in the traditional money- and status-orientated traditional Chinese wedding dinners? -
even if everyone not doing well now.. when come to dinner.. ppls will still give a market rate ang pow...Originally posted by shinta:think u meant a few years ago when everyone takes back around 2k every mth..
i take home less than 600 becos i'm a NSF and my whole pltn are giving my pltn mate the standard rate ang pow for his dinner.
yes we might not be extreme generous with the amount we give.. but we dont make him suffer a lose... -
No.Originally posted by Rhonda:Actually, those Malay wedding celebrations are pretty fun to attend, plus, they don't run into astronomical bills, and family and friends turn up to help, or to congratulate the couple in droves!
Their community is close-knit so it's easy for them to gather relatives to help out with the cooking and the preparations.
And they are also close-knit so when someone gets married, the entire kampong turns up to give the wedding couple their blessings.
Have you ever heard the Malays complain that they have to bao big big ang pow's and money therefore becomes a deterrant and a huge damper to the happy wedding celebratory spirit?
True, I don't think I can ever round up that many relatives to help out with mass cooking, and I don't think we have that expertise like they do. But what I'm trying to point out is that there are alternative ways to celebrate and announce a wedding, ways that are more intimate, more casual, and yet, everyone has fun, and the onus is not on earning 'profits' or 'breaking even', but really on the exuberance and joy of two people who've chosen to love each other deeply enough to live the rest of their lives together, as one family unit.
Now, do you get THAT essence and spirit in the traditional money- and status-orientated traditional Chinese wedding dinners?
Dun think we can find that esp in singapore. -
Face worth how many cents?Originally posted by edLow:my bro attend his classmates wedding which is held as a buffet lunch style at OCC.
guess it really depend on the parents sometime. my frds are getting married and they dont intend for a dinner. but both their parents insist on a dinner..
last time chinese do hold their dinner at hdb grd floor. but becos of face prob... dinner end up holding at resturant / hotel. -
I know what you mean. And it's not just the parents and relatives who'll gossip about the 'loss of face'...Originally posted by edLow:my bro attend his classmates wedding which is held as a buffet lunch style at OCC.
guess it really depend on the parents sometime. my frds are getting married and they dont intend for a dinner. but both their parents insist on a dinner..
last time chinese do hold their dinner at hdb grd floor. but becos of face prob... dinner end up holding at resturant / hotel.
There'll be lots of neighbours and strangers walking around, staring, making comments, ...
What to do... our culture just ai4 mian4 zi3 way too much! -
still waiting for people to tell us about it. From hearsay, i heard that it did happened once. While groom, bride and family members were walking from tabe to table to take pictures, the father-in-law accidentally stepped on the train of the bride's gown. The bride continued to walk forward, and the rest is history.Originally posted by shinta:*looks at how the word bweast came out properly....*
ahem.
oh.. that.
where???
in teh post on ur thots of the thread title?
nose-bleed moment of the night.
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think if can break even for the dinner part is very good le...Originally posted by edLow:even if everyone not doing well now.. when come to dinner.. ppls will still give a market rate ang pow...
i take home less than 600 becos i'm a NSF and my whole pltn are giving my pltn mate the standard rate ang pow for his dinner.
yes we might not be extreme generous with the amount we give.. but we dont make him suffer a lose...
the other stuff u mentioned earlier... dun think possible.. -
I feel more ashamed than proud of the culture of getting into serious debts.Originally posted by Rhonda:I know what you mean. And it's not just the parents and relatives who'll gossip about the 'loss of face'...
There'll be lots of neighbours and strangers walking around, staring, making comments, ...
What to do... our culture just ai4 mian4 zi3 way too much! -
if i'm not wrg. malay dinner is onli eat curry chicken lor.... n maybe a few more dish.. not like chinese dinner where u get 8 dish or more dinner menu... and every dish offer in the menu doesnt come cheap..Originally posted by Rhonda:Actually, those Malay wedding celebrations are pretty fun to attend, plus, they don't run into astronomical bills, and family and friends turn up to help, or to congratulate the couple in droves!
Their community is close-knit so it's easy for them to gather relatives to help out with the cooking and the preparations.
And they are also close-knit so when someone gets married, the entire kampong turns up to give the wedding couple their blessings.
Have you ever heard the Malays complain that they have to bao big big ang pow's and money therefore becomes a deterrant and a huge damper to the happy wedding celebratory spirit?
True, I don't think I can ever round up that many relatives to help out with mass cooking, and I don't think we have that expertise like they do. But what I'm trying to point out is that there are alternative ways to celebrate and announce a wedding, ways that are more intimate, more casual, and yet, everyone has fun, and the onus is not on earning 'profits' or 'breaking even', but really on the exuberance and joy of two people who've chosen to love each other deeply enough to live the rest of their lives together, as one family unit.
Now, do you get THAT essence and spirit in the traditional money- and status-orientated traditional Chinese wedding dinners?
u might be rite bout the status orientated traditonal... but u pay for wat u eat too. the malays dinner.. i think u bao $10 also too much liao. -
well, not in cents.. maybe in notes..Originally posted by Nelstar:Face worth how many cents?
seriously.. i rather have a feww small gathering with close frds, relative den head off for a holiday trip to enjoy! -
what happened?Originally posted by Deportivo:still waiting for people to tell us about it. From hearsay, i heard that it did happened once. While groom, bride and family members were walking from tabe to table to take pictures, the father-in-law accidentally stepped on the train of the bride's gown. The bride continued to walk forward, and the rest is history.
nose-bleed moment of the night.
she wore tube ar?