Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinner Horrors!!
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You've got to include:
Decor and logistics
Renting of decoration, lighting, generators, tables and chairs. Renting of plates and cups. PA system. Portaloo.
Gifts
The eggs or etc. that guests bring home
Food
Not just curry chicken hor. Got beef and mutton too.
I'm not saying it's expensive, but it's not that cheap either.
Originally posted by edLow:i nvr attend one.. but frm wat i noe. is just some simple dishs..
correct me if i'm wrg. tks -
Well, that's helping..Originally posted by edLow:doesnt the bro's task n sis's task of the groom n bride consider helping out already?
seriously.. when come to help out.. we must look at our culture too. the malays maybe help out in preparation of location n food.
but the chinese do also help out wat. follow the groom to fetch the bride and the overcome the stupid stunt done by the bride's sister.
helping out in some preparation works... taking photo on the dinner? all these not helping out? it might doesnt seem a lot of works.. but it still help.
but I was contesting the idea of giving red-packets to defray the cost rather with good-wishes..
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Heard the term 'wedding registries'? Where the couple goes to a particular shop, chooses the things they'll need / want / love to have, and then they inform their guest and the guests will go to that shop and from the list, pay for a particular item that the wedding couple has chosen, and that is their gift to them?Originally posted by Nelstar:I don't think it's nice to give what others think you should give.
I think that makes the idea of giving wrong.
It IS nice to give gifts that you KNOW the receiver(s) need / will use.
Why give white elephants?
And, by asking for the appropriate customs, etc before attending an event by a friend of a different race, you're just being politically and culturally correct. And I'm sure your host / hostess will be very thankful to you for that!
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With so much talk here, who actually held a wedding banquet before?
even better, who actually is married? -
Originally posted by edLow:doesnt the bro's task n sis's task of the groom n bride consider helping out already?
seriously.. when come to help out.. we must look at our culture too. the malays maybe help out in preparation of location n food.
but the chinese do also help out wat. follow the groom to fetch the bride and the overcome the stupid stunt done by the bride's sister.
helping out in some preparation works... taking photo on the dinner? all these not helping out? it might doesnt seem a lot of works.. but it still help.
the brother n sister thing u mentioned are just gimmicks thought out in recent years.
it's not part of the tradition. -
I had one with Takashimaya. It was all good. My friends bought me pots and pans, knife sets, plates, clocks, pillow, pillow cases, bedsheets.Originally posted by Rhonda:Heard the term 'wedding registries'? Where the couple goes to a particular shop, chooses the things they'll need / want / love to have, and then they inform their guest and the guests will go to that shop and from the list, pay for a particular item that the wedding couple has chosen, and that is their gift to them?
Takashimaya took the effort the wrapped everything up nicely, and my wife and i had the time of our life opening them up. -
ya.. if u noe u cant attend the wedding becos u cant fork out the money becos of finicial prob. let them noe early tat u cant attend.. so they dont keep a place for u and u end up not turning up.. which cause a lost to them..Originally posted by shinta:hmm.. we're talkin from the bride n groom's perspective.
and if possible. try to give an ang pow tat is ard the market rate of the dinner lor so tat ur frd wont make a suffer becos of it. if u are niao with ur ang pow.. ur frds perhaps would do the same for u on ur big day next time. -
hahaha. den u save even more table..Originally posted by Rhonda:Uh huh... and how many invited Singaporean guests would ACTUALLY turn up, you think? -
I got no problem with packing an ang pow keeping in mind the amount to defray cost. Isn't it part of wishing the couple well? i.e. let me help out with the cost - to the best of my ability.
If you can't afford, give less - the couple should know you well enough not to penalise you. If you wanna give more, by all means! -
The main idea of giving... is to show how well you know the person to know what to give.Originally posted by Rhonda:Heard the term 'wedding registries'? Where the couple goes to a particular shop, chooses the things they'll need / want / love to have, and then they inform their guest and the guests will go to that shop and from the list, pay for a particular item that the wedding couple has chosen, and that is their gift to them?
It IS nice to give gifts that you KNOW the receiver(s) need / will use.
Why give white elephants?
And, by asking for the appropriate customs, etc before attending an event by a friend of a different race, you're just being politically and culturally correct. And I'm sure your host / hostess will be very thankful to you for that!
And what is best to give.
And no matter how many 'white elephants' are given, as a receiver, you learn to respect the gift. -
See, the thing is, you WANT to celebrate your friend's wedding, but you can't because of your tight budget.Originally posted by edLow:ya.. if u noe u cant attend the wedding becos u cant fork out the money becos of finicial prob. let them noe early tat u cant attend.. so they dont keep a place for u and u end up not turning up.. which cause a lost to them..
and if possible. try to give an ang pow tat is ard the market rate of the dinner lor so tat ur frd wont make a suffer becos of it. if u are niao with ur ang pow.. ur frds perhaps would do the same for u on ur big day next time.
It would hurt me to know that my friends won't be attending my wedding because they cannot afford the money.
Now, why not hold an event where everyone can attend, and money's not a huge huge barrier to any party?
That would make it a true celebration in all sense of the word, wouldn't it? -
ya.. i noe it isnt like paying a dinner bill. but at least follow the market rate lor. if every frds whom attending is paying this amt... it wont be weird wat.. if everyone is paying 50 for it.. of cos if u pay any more or less will make urself outstanding...Originally posted by Rhonda:I think simple or otherwise, you're not attending a wedding dinner to just pay for the cost of the dishes alone.
Your ang pow is actually meant as a gift to the bride and groom. It's not like paying a dinner bill like that! -
tat why follow the market rate. if everyone is giving a certain amt. why give less or more to make urself stand out?Originally posted by choco B:You've got to include:
Decor and logistics
Renting of decoration, lighting, generators, tables and chairs. Renting of plates and cups. PA system. Portaloo.
Gifts
The eggs or etc. that guests bring home
Food
Not just curry chicken hor. Got beef and mutton too.
I'm not saying it's expensive, but it's not that cheap either. -
In my previous job, giving ang pow's to friends / colleagues who were getting married was a joy, because I could afford to give.Originally posted by choco B:I got no problem with packing an ang pow keeping in mind the amount to defray cost. Isn't it part of wishing the couple well? i.e. let me help out with the cost - to the best of my ability.
If you can't afford, give less - the couple should know you well enough not to penalise you. If you wanna give more, by all means!
Now, it's a heartache - torn between wanting to celebrate their joy, and not being able to afford it sometimes.
I know they wouldn't penalise me, but at the same time, a lot of them aren't rich and NEED to defray the costs. -
no money, dun hold wedding dinner. simple as that.Originally posted by edLow:it's a fact wat.. so lets say are u willing to give a 100 bucks ang pow to ur malay frd's dinner? no link rite...
and when u decided to help ur frd by giving a bigger ang pow (200 bucks) for a chinese dinner. u end up cursing n swear like others bout being ex$, no money n etc.. isnt it the same.. so why dont we just give an ang pow tat is within our limit and doesnt make ur frd suffer a huge lose for the dinner.
ex: if u noe it cost bout 800 per table.. each table can seat 10 ppls. divide down. is bout $80 per person..
- if u are extremely tight with ur wallet.. maybe u just tell ur frd early tat u cant attend becos of work commitment and maybe visit them on another day with some small gifts.
- if u are doing fine n abit tight with ur wallet.. maybe u just give a 80 or 88 angpow?
- if u are doing fine and extremely generous with ur wallet. u can give how much u wan.
Ang pows are meant given in teh past as some sort of a blessing for the wedded couples. OR you could think of it as a gift. With cash being more practical.
It doesn matter if u're malay or chinese. The meaning behind is the same.
No money dun hold the dinner at a 5-star hotel. -
See? That's why I hate the idea of red packets.Originally posted by Rhonda:In my previous job, giving ang pow's to friends / colleagues who were getting married was a joy, because I could afford to give.
Now, it's a heartache - torn between wanting to celebrate their joy, and not being able to afford it sometimes. I know they wouldn't penalise me, but at the same time, a lot of them aren't rich and NEED to defray the costs. -
You don't get it, do you?Originally posted by edLow:tat why follow the market rate. if everyone is giving a certain amt. why give less or more to make urself stand out?
It's NOT about the market rate... it's about you giving the money as a wedding GIFT! A GIFT! NOT a restaurant bill! -
if tat the case.. give within the dinner rate and ur own limit.. if u noe u be attending a dinner. the card are usually given out as early as a month before.. so start to save if require lor... u hav a nice dinner celebrating ur frd's wed and at the same time u dont make ur frd suffer frm loses wat.Originally posted by Nelstar:Well, that's helping..
but I was contesting the idea of giving red-packets to defray the cost rather with good-wishes.. -
we're talkin from the bride n groom's perspective n u're talkin from another perspective...Originally posted by edLow:ya.. if u noe u cant attend the wedding becos u cant fork out the money becos of finicial prob. let them noe early tat u cant attend.. so they dont keep a place for u and u end up not turning up.. which cause a lost to them..
and if possible. try to give an ang pow tat is ard the market rate of the dinner lor so tat ur frd wont make a suffer becos of it. if u are niao with ur ang pow.. ur frds perhaps would do the same for u on ur big day next time. -
Married
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Deportivo
Shinta
Single
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Rhonda
who else? -
\but it's still help out rite?Originally posted by shinta:
the brother n sister thing u mentioned are just gimmicks thought out in recent years.
it's not part of the tradition.
since u all mention bout "HELPING OUT" for the couple.
there are things which we can help and things we cant..
u cant possible pay for the whole dinner for ur frd becos u are really damn filthy rich rite? -
u're makin it sound like u're payin the bill for dinner.Originally posted by edLow:ya.. i noe it isnt like paying a dinner bill. but at least follow the market rate lor. if every frds whom attending is paying this amt... it wont be weird wat.. if everyone is paying 50 for it.. of cos if u pay any more or less will make urself outstanding... -
That's why I think, in order to let people come and enjoy themselves without worrying about the ang pow, next time, I might wanna keep everything secret and on the invitation cards, just be mysterious and say something like, "There's a party going on! Turn up at XX MRT STation at XXpm and be transported to the secret location!"Originally posted by Nelstar:See? That's why I hate the idea of red packets.
And then, ta-da!!! Wedding party!!
There'll be no "Sorry, I can't attend"s solely because of money.
And later on, whether the guests want to give gifts or not, that's totally secondary and up to them.
Now, that frees everyone to enjoy and celebrate your wedding, no need to talk so much about money! Isn't that so much better? -
He's not gettin it, dun think he'd ever will.Originally posted by Rhonda:You don't get it, do you?
It's NOT about the market rate... it's about you giving the money as a wedding GIFT! A GIFT! NOT a restaurant bill! -
SL and chocoB are married too.Originally posted by Deportivo:Married
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Deportivo
Shinta
Single
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Rhonda
who else?
Shinta and Nelstar aren't married yet. Bear's also single.
Erm... who else?