Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinner Horrors!!
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advocate what your classmate's brother had done...no obligations to follow what his parents want both him n his wife to go about handling their marriage, wedding etc...or probably he had already anticpated that...kekekeOriginally posted by the Bear:one of my classmates' brother was hilarious..
he was in the US... one day he called home and announced to his dad "Dad, I'm married!"
his father did not forgive him because he wanted a huge HUGE fiasco... and he was not having any of that
in the end, all was well when the first grandchild was born -
When my uncle got married to his English wife, he got away with just a tea reception. But my cousin and her German husband held the banquet though they weren't under any pressure from our extended family. It's a matter of preference for both couples, I guess.
As for the other cousins who married local girls...all of them had banquets too. But I hate the dinners...something in the soup or in the vegetable sauce always gives me terrible headaches and 'flushing', and then I lose my appetite. -
do people still use dry ice on their traditional weddings? i went to one when i was young...the was so much dry ices that there was smoke everywhere when the bride n groom entered (hmm..cant rem who are they) until the whole restaurant was like on fire...
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yeah.. they do..
when dinner is choreographed
i find it kinda... tacky
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Yah! Yah!!Originally posted by the Bear:yeah.. they do..
when dinner is choreographed
i find it kinda... tacky
It's like sooooo darn fake!! So rehearsed!
It's like, ok, the dry ice... the music... count the beat... ok, ta-dah!!... at the appropriate moment, the beng and lian... oops!! the Bride and Groom, shall walk down slowly, in time to the music!
Don't know but even when I was a teen and dreamt of a church wedding, the part where the bride has to walk down the aisle sloooooooooooooowly just got me cracking up! It's like sooooooo contrived! -
To each his/her own, I guess Some people DO like having the whole thingamajig, and I for one, enjoyed my wedding dinner alot (on reflection)
And we ended up breaking even / getting a bit more back because some relatives / close frens of parents gave heaps! 
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Hey I think its something similar, the funny feeling of giddiness and a sense of slight nausea?Originally posted by Kuali Baba:When my uncle got married to his English wife, he got away with just a tea reception. But my cousin and her German husband held the banquet though they weren't under any pressure from our extended family. It's a matter of preference for both couples, I guess.
As for the other cousins who married local girls...all of them had banquets too. But I hate the dinners...something in the soup or in the vegetable sauce always gives me terrible headaches and 'flushing', and then I lose my appetite. -
Me? No grand banquets with strangers.
Just a good old little reception..on the rooftop of some building .Sunrise ceremony and a great lunch reception with lots of wine. -
simple please
even if one has the money, look at the amount of planning and headaches one has to bear
been to many of my cousins weddings, nuthing but headaches... -
Dun serve too much alcohol hor... scarlee one of your guests get tipsy & fall off the rooftop then howOriginally posted by LazerLordz:Me? No grand banquets with strangers.
Just a good old little reception..on the rooftop of some building .Sunrise ceremony and a great lunch reception with lots of wine. Got insurance or not 
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Originally posted by SydneyLibrarian:Dun serve too much alcohol hor... scarlee one of your guests get tipsy & fall off the rooftop then how Got insurance or not
That's gonna be a bad start to a new phase in my life.Oh well, insomnia makes one type strange things.. -
I dislike the traditional chinese weddings..Especially the serving tea part..
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oh yea... me too!Originally posted by stellazio:I dislike the traditional chinese weddings..Especially the serving tea part.. 
But thank God, my uncle made it all very fun, everyone was cracking up so much - I still like watching it on DVD cos it's hilarious! -
Gonna retire to the blanket.
Nights to one and all! -
G'nite Lazerlordz! Been nice chatting wif uOriginally posted by LazerLordz:Gonna retire to the blanket.
Nights to one and all! -
i mean if i have the money, i wouldnt mind.
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The worse had yet to come...Originally posted by Rhonda:Yipers!!
I just returned from dinner and a shopping spree with mom and an aunt and we were discussing my brother's Chinese wedding dinner over supper. I had the shock of my life!!
- Mom says dad will have like 10 tables of guests, she will have 15, the in-laws wanted 10, and including my brother and his wife's guests, it's a grand total of 45 tables!!
At $800 per table, that makes it a grand total of... *gasp... Wha!!!!! $36,000!!!!!
I made the mistake of saying out loud, "Poor brother! He will end up having 80% of guests at his wedding who are total strangers to him!"
And then, I kena a huge scolding from mom, who got wide-eyed defensive and exclaimed, "Of course! He's MY son! It's a BIG DEAL!"
- So I said, "I'm having cold sweat just sitting here, listening to this... and it isn't even my wedding! Boy, am I jolly glad I'm not the one getting married!"
And then, kena more scolding!
It's absolutely crazy!! It's my brother's wedding and there'll be all these strangers milling about there!
Just calculate the mass damage to everyone feasting in the wedding dinner as they have to issue out red packets. They have to reluctantly turn up wasting their time to turn up for a wedding of someone else's son/daughter to give 'face' and have to give 'red packets with money and good fortune' to share the couple's burden.
Imagine you're invited and the person who invited you knew you could attend whatsoever. So you had to turn up. If you turned up alone, and sure that would have been easy on you. Let's say you have two toddlers and a preggie wife who needs to be taken care of (I dont have to elaborate why it's not good to leave 2 toddlers with one pregnant woman). That makes it four. And in order not to tax your hosts you got to compensate with a bigger red envelope and share the burden with the newly weds.
Let say you pay 3/4 per seat. 60x4 would give you 240. And you had been down in luck, your wife is out of job due to pregnancy... most of your savings went to hospital bills, baby's stuff, blah blah and $240 is good enough to last your two kids for one entire month. And you forked out that $240 of emergency cash.
OUCH! -
I think my post is very depressing... please read it with an open mind.
Traditional Wedding Dinner? NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
Tea-serving? Ok as long as relatives do not bicker. I am not into FACE/No FACE crap.
I rather spend my money wisely on something more appropriate and not put any unnecessary financial burden on my friends, relatives and friends of my parents.
Anyway, my mom is a supporter of no-wedding-dinner-reception. Lucky me. The same can't really apply to my dad though... he's more traditional... -
When you say Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinner, I assume you are talking about the number of tables, and not the location? Or the type of dinner - sit down courses dinner?
(Would a garden party with 450 guests be considered a Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinner?)
Mmm.. I used to think this way. Wanted to have a small getogether by the beach with just a few of my closer friends. My parents compromised by letting me do that for my ROM. We eventually had a buffet dinner by an open air site next to the sea for their friends/relatives. BUT in the event that they insist on holding a dinner at a hotel/restaurant, even if it is not to my own 'taste, it would be unfair to say that they have no right to have a say in the event at all.
Unless of course you are not very close to your parents or relatives but... Mmm.. I am glad I went through with the rigmarole. If you see the joy on your parents' face, welcoming the guests' 'congratulations' and feeling so happy that they are introducing their child's marriage, you know its pretty much worth it. I see many of my relatives who congratulate, and gave good wishes when we served tea.. and many of my parents' friends who watched me grow up come forward and tell me they are happy for me. It was fun going for table to table photography and having all the uncles and aunties giggle and make jokes. It was nice to be formally introduced to many of my husband's relatives. It was wonderful to see that some of parents' friends felt so happy for them they even wore coordinated outfits! It was wonderful to see them greeting friends from overseas who turned up specially for the wedding. It was hilarious to see my grandma almost dropping her false teeth into the sea from laughing too much.
I had my share of problem relatives during the wedding. But.. u know.. who cares?! It was for the people who came, and gave their sincere blessings that the dinner was for.
I won't force my own children to go through this if they don't want to, but I think I will be very sad if my children don't even give a damn what I think. Because a marriage isn't just about two people. It is about two families.. when his parents are old and sick, you take care of them too and vice versa. And while the couple doesn't need anyone to formalise their marriage (except the law), if it means somethign to their parents who are older fashioned and brought up in a different way, then its just one night of inconvenience to make both sets of parents happy and find ease in their hearts.
And honestly, unless a couple really go and find those very expensive tables, most of the time the relatives and friends are kind enough to help offset a lot of the cost. So, I cut the cost off my bridal gown, cut the cost off some limo, cut the cost off my honeymoon - cos these all trappings what. But if a traditional wedding dinner really REALLY means a lot to your parents.. Mmm (not the way they eat and how many there are, but the fact that parents, friends, relatives all gathered together) I am sure there is a compromise that won't disappoint them. -
i'll sign up as photographer...now learning the ropesOriginally posted by littlestream:and I can be your maid of honour.
My son can be your ring boy. -
ermz...Rhonda? some nice timing there...i'm supposed to attend one tonight anywae..Originally posted by Rhonda:Yipers!!
I just returned from dinner and a shopping spree with mom and an aunt and we were discussing my brother's Chinese wedding dinner over supper. I had the shock of my life!!
- Mom says dad will have like 10 tables of guests, she will have 15, the in-laws wanted 10, and including my brother and his wife's guests, it's a grand total of 45 tables!!
At $800 per table, that makes it a grand total of... *gasp... Wha!!!!! $36,000!!!!!
I made the mistake of saying out loud, "Poor brother! He will end up having 80% of guests at his wedding who are total strangers to him!"
And then, I kena a huge scolding from mom, who got wide-eyed defensive and exclaimed, "Of course! He's MY son! It's a BIG DEAL!"
- So I said, "I'm having cold sweat just sitting here, listening to this... and it isn't even my wedding! Boy, am I jolly glad I'm not the one getting married!"
And then, kena more scolding!
It's absolutely crazy!! It's my brother's wedding and there'll be all these strangers milling about there! and damned, everyone seems to have developed a habit of coming late.. 
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The problem is, my mother-in-law-to-be and my dad aren't those who will settle for anything less than a paid luxurious grand wedding dinner with certain unnecessary staples in the menu which will probably chalk up at least 700 a table.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:When you say Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinner, I assume you are talking about the number of tables, and not the location? Or the type of dinner - sit down courses dinner?
(Would a garden party with 450 guests be considered a Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinner?)
Mmm.. I used to think this way. Wanted to have a small getogether by the beach with just a few of my closer friends. My parents compromised by letting me do that for my ROM. We eventually had a buffet dinner by an open air site next to the sea for their friends/relatives. BUT in the event that they insist on holding a dinner at a hotel/restaurant, even if it is not to my own 'taste, it would be unfair to say that they have no right to have a say in the event at all.
Unless of course you are not very close to your parents or relatives but... Mmm.. I am glad I went through with the rigmarole. If you see the joy on your parents' face, welcoming the guests' 'congratulations' and feeling so happy that they are introducing their child's marriage, you know its pretty much worth it. I see many of my relatives who congratulate, and gave good wishes when we served tea.. and many of my parents' friends who watched me grow up come forward and tell me they are happy for me. It was fun going for table to table photography and having all the uncles and aunties giggle and make jokes. It was nice to be formally introduced to many of my husband's relatives. It was wonderful to see that some of parents' friends felt so happy for them they even wore coordinated outfits! It was wonderful to see them greeting friends from overseas who turned up specially for the wedding. It was hilarious to see my grandma almost dropping her false teeth into the sea from laughing too much.
I had my share of problem relatives during the wedding. But.. u know.. who cares?! It was for the people who came, and gave their sincere blessings that the dinner was for.
I won't force my own children to go through this if they don't want to, but I think I will be very sad if my children don't even give a damn what I think. Because a marriage isn't just about two people. It is about two families.. when his parents are old and sick, you take care of them too and vice versa. And while the couple doesn't need anyone to formalise their marriage (except the law), if it means somethign to their parents who are older fashioned and brought up in a different way, then its just one night of inconvenience to make both sets of parents happy and find ease in their hearts.
And honestly, unless a couple really go and find those very expensive tables, most of the time the relatives and friends are kind enough to help offset a lot of the cost. So, I cut the cost off my bridal gown, cut the cost off some limo, cut the cost off my honeymoon - cos these all trappings what. But if a traditional wedding dinner really REALLY means a lot to your parents.. Mmm (not the way they eat and how many there are, but the fact that parents, friends, relatives all gathered together) I am sure there is a compromise that won't disappoint them.
My second elder brother was a victim of wedding dinners. Forced to alcoholic drinks when he had alcholic allergy he sipped a little from each glass and went back with rashes, (in the end i got so drunk helping him drink I could bearly keep myself straight.. yes my eldest brother has the same allergy.) And then, he borrowed heavily from my mother for the dinner and never really returned the money.
Was it really worth the occasion? Yes, the happiness, the spirit was there, but the financial burden ended with my parents footing the difference. It's not like we had much savings to last for a long time... and that amount could have benefitted me in the long run if the money was spent on furthering my studies.
You could have compensated the happiness with some honeymoon trips to other countries.
We're ridden with debts... housing loans etc... we don't need additional expenses....
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Read until here still no offer for flower girl. i offer my service.Originally posted by littlestream:and I can be your maid of honour.
My son can be your ring boy. -
Well I guess the important difference was that we could compromise with our parents ba and they are pretty understanding... so our experience of it wasn't so bad. Also, fortunately for us, some of our relatives were very kindly generous. We invitedthem to an extra homecooked meal after that to thank them! Of course, if you have very difficult parents or parents-in-law, well, if they are willing to help share the bill to get the type of dinner they want, that isn't too bad is it?
We hadn't wanted to start off our life together in debt either - so simple life loh. Also, as I was making a mid-career switch and may be functioning on part time work for a while, we made lifestyle decisions which will make things much easier to cope - simple honeymoon, paint the house, etc, other work almost completely by ourselves, live in 3 rm flat, don't need big TV, no aircon (yet!) and car is totally out of the question.
Heng neither of us have any expensive expectations anyway. Won't say I can be completely free with my money now (who can?), and sometimes it would be nice to have something better than a 14" TV to offer friends when they visit, but at least I never feel I am wanting! That's good enough I guess.Originally posted by Nelstar:The problem is, my mother-in-law-to-be and my dad aren't those who will settle for anything less than a paid luxurious grand wedding dinner with certain unnecessary staples in the menu which will probably chalk up at least 700 a table.
My second elder brother was a victim of wedding dinners. Forced to alcoholic drinks when he had alcholic allergy he sipped a little from each glass and went back with rashes, (in the end i got so drunk helping him drink I could bearly keep myself straight.. yes my eldest brother has the same allergy.) And then, he borrowed heavily from my mother for the dinner and never really returned the money.
Was it really worth the occasion? Yes, the happiness, the spirit was there, but the financial burden ended with my parents footing the difference. It's not like we had much savings to last for a long time... and that amount could have benefitted me in the long run if the money was spent on furthering my studies.
You could have compensated the happiness with some honeymoon trips to other countries.
We're ridden with debts... housing loans etc... we don't need additional expenses.... -
Originally posted by Rhonda:Yipers!!
I just returned from dinner and a shopping spree with mom and an aunt and we were discussing my brother's Chinese wedding dinner over supper. I had the shock of my life!!
- Mom says dad will have like 10 tables of guests, she will have 15, the in-laws wanted 10, and including my brother and his wife's guests, it's a grand total of 45 tables!!
At $800 per table, that makes it a grand total of... *gasp... Wha!!!!! $36,000!!!!!
I made the mistake of saying out loud, "Poor brother! He will end up having 80% of guests at his wedding who are total strangers to him!"
And then, I kena a huge scolding from mom, who got wide-eyed defensive and exclaimed, "Of course! He's MY son! It's a BIG DEAL!"
- So I said, "I'm having cold sweat just sitting here, listening to this... and it isn't even my wedding! Boy, am I jolly glad I'm not the one getting married!"
And then, kena more scolding!
It's absolutely crazy!! It's my brother's wedding and there'll be all these strangers milling about there! Now then you know, the parents want everyone they know to know their children married liao...
That's why I insisted on NO.. Have, maybe next time