Traditional Chinese Wedding Dinner Horrors!!
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Can always employ sly, underhand tactics!Originally posted by Deportivo:trying telling that to them.
Tell them, "Oh dear... the hotel function room I booked can only accommodate 20 tables! You folks need a total of... 50 tables, ah? Last I checked, only the 6-star Conrad Hotel has a function room that's big enough, and still available. But, the thing is, each table will cost $980!! Do you still want to proceed with that?"
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It's always the case for parents. They want to help out of concern and love, but if you disagree with their suggestions or methods, then you will have to handle them carefully and not crush their ego or worse, offend them or seem ungrateful. "?
It's such a minefield when it comes to relations between parents and children and in laws, especially during weddings.
Ultimately, it's all give and take. If you can write something off as a trivial matter, then just give in. Makes for a happier time for everyone.Originally posted by the Bear:i've heard of couples wanting to go it alone, and somewhere, an innocent "let us help a little" by the folks and suddenly, the folks are running the show.. and everything spirals out of control... and they are faced with a circus...
oh well..
everyone marches to the beat of a different drum...
ultimately, i still think it would be good if the folks allowed the couple to make the decision without any pressure.. it is their day, not the folks' day.. -
Wah!! DIE MAN!!
Since I'll be sitting at the reception, greeting my bro's and sis-in-law's guests, man, I have to be swee-swee!!!
AAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! DIE-T!!!!
OK, from now on, Diet!!
Hmm... or maybe, after Christmas, can make it?
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they'll go: let us help a little
(then see my post)
Originally posted by Rhonda:Can always employ sly, underhand tactics!
Tell them, "Oh dear... the hotel function room I booked can only accommodate 20 tables! You folks need a total of... 50 tables, ah? Last I checked, only the 6-star Conrad Hotel has a function room that's big enough, and still available. But, the thing is, each table will cost $980!! Do you still want to proceed with that?" -
Hur hur when's the wedding?Originally posted by Rhonda:OK, from now on, Diet!!
Hmm... or maybe, after Christmas, can make it? -
better be swee-swee, you may just meet your future husband at the banquet.Originally posted by Rhonda:Wah!! DIE MAN!!
Since I'll be sitting at the reception, greeting my bro's and sis-in-law's guests, man, I have to be swee-swee!!!
AAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! DIE-T!!!!
OK, from now on, Diet!!
Hmm... or maybe, after Christmas, can make it? -
it's good to have people-skills like you then
i have none..Originally posted by choco B:It's always the case for parents. They want to help out of concern and love, but if you disagree with their suggestions or methods, then you will have to handle them carefully and not crush their ego or worse, offend them or seem ungrateful. "?
It's such a minefield when it comes to relations between parents and children and in laws, especially during weddings.
Ultimately, it's all give and take. If you can write something off as a trivial matter, then just give in. Makes for a happier time for everyone. -
Nah. I have to pick which battles are worth fighting for. Can't win them all
Originally posted by the Bear:it's good to have people-skills like you then
i have none.. -
There are even wedding dinner of about $1400 per table for 100 tables.
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i guess so...
someone did tell me that before somewhere too
maybe you're smart enough and i'm too boneheaded to know the difference
i maintain that you are one of the most intelligent people i have metOriginally posted by choco B:Nah. I have to pick which battles are worth fighting for. Can't win them all -
You're just more principled than I am Originally posted by the Bear:maybe you're smart enough and i'm too boneheaded to know the difference
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how about...
"i didn't want the fiasco, but because i love my parents so, and i want them to be happy, i'd do whatever it is in my means to give them what they've been waiting for for so many years... and i am happy too because they're happy.
i love my parents."Originally posted by the Bear:face...
"my children didn't want the fiasco, and because i love them so, and didn't want them to start their married life in debt, i gave them my blessings.. and they were very happy..
i love my children"
that is something priceless and noble.. and would earn the respect of their true friends... instead of forcing their children into something which will not gain any respect of false friends anyway... -
yea... my family's not well-off either and i dun have rich relatives. i also remember my parents thinking hard hard when they've to decide how much to put in ang-paos for the wedding dinners. they always joke, "never mind. one day we'll get it back when our children get married" (in cantonese)
i believe in doing things within our means. and being flexible. if i can afford a 5-star hotel, i will. if i can't then just have to make do with a cheaper restaurant or soemthing. it's not the amount you spend but the effort and the gesture of trying to do the best with what you have.
like i said, whatever i believe is based on my own circumstances and believes. different strokes for different people... jia jia you ben nan nian de jing...Originally posted by Nelstar:My relatives are poor and Shinta's relatives aren't rich either. If I want to have a wedding dinner, I'll make sure no-one has to pay the red-packets because I detest the idea of 'red packets'.
Since I don't have the benefit of being well-off to host one in a 5-star hotel, I was thinking of having a buffet/house-warming/wedding recognition when I have my own home.
And I don't like reminding everyone that I personally saw my own cousin on my way to the toilet, he had a cheap Chinese wedding dinner, opening up red packets on the night to foot the remainder of the bill.
And I can't forget my childhood where my mom had to stuff money inside the red packet and attend for a relative's wedding dinner when we were feeding off scraps. Imagine eating cookies, cakes, etc given by others for months (my dad was jobless) and squeezing out that $20 for one wedding dinner.
Those memories were etched pretty deep into my skull.
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wedding dinner in JB better.
Half the price + got Karaoke -
i wonder how long it'd take for me to save up enuff to hold a dinner.Originally posted by neuros:yea... my family's not well-off either and i dun have rich relatives. i also remember my parents thinking hard hard when they've to decide how much to put in ang-paos for the wedding dinners. they always joke, "never mind. one day we'll get it back when our children get married" (in cantonese)
i believe in doing things within our means. and being flexible. if i can afford a 5-star hotel, i will. if i can't then just have to make do with a cheaper restaurant or soemthing. it's not the amount you spend but the effort and the gesture of trying to do the best with what you have.
like i said, whatever i believe is based on my own circumstances and believes. different strokes for different people... jia jia you ben nan nian de jing...
and when i've done so, how much longer it'd take for me to save up enuff for our own place.
once i've done so, the simple reno.
and the kids..
being in debt sux. esp when it can run up to a few hundred k.
dinner first.
They want us to be in the gown n tux (or somewhere near a tux). I wonder if they provide rentals for gown. If they do, Do they have my size?
I can't invite my dad, or the day would be ruined. Completely. By my mom.
Flat.
We'd need a place to stay especially if we want kids. I rather use the money in the cpf account for stuff like our childrens' education instead of usin it to finance our hdb. (tho nellie thinks othewise)
Den if we have a place, we'd need cash if it's resale. that aside, we'd need some kinda renovation before we move in. that needs quite a bit of money.
I'll skip the children. -
You're scaring me ! ......Originally posted by shinta:i wonder how long it'd take for me to save up enuff to hold a dinner.
and when i've done so, how much longer it'd take for me to save up enuff for our own place.
once i've done so, the simple reno.
and the kids..
being in debt sux. esp when it can run up to a few hundred k.
dinner first.
They want us to be in the gown n tux (or somewhere near a tux). I wonder if they provide rentals for gown. If they do, Do they have my size?
I can't invite my dad, or the day would be ruined. Completely. By my mom.
Flat.
We'd need a place to stay especially if we want kids. I rather use the money in the cpf account for stuff like our childrens' education instead of usin it to finance our hdb. (tho nellie thinks othewise)
Den if we have a place, we'd need cash if it's resale. that aside, we'd need some kinda renovation before we move in. that needs quite a bit of money.
I'll skip the children. .....
damm .... no wonder people flock to 4D booths all the time ...... -
I rather keep the money from 4D and reward myself with a movie every mth with nellie all expenses paid for.Originally posted by Fatum:You're scaring me ! ...... .....
damm .... no wonder people flock to 4D booths all the time ...... -
yes of course, buying 4D is silly ... but woah ! .... getting married costs so much ? ...Originally posted by shinta:I rather keep the money from 4D and reward myself with a movie every mth with nellie all expenses paid for.
i'm going to start putting more into the kitty each month now ....... -
The point about the wedding dinner is not about the red packets. It was supposed to be time of gathering and celebration and remembrance.
Sadly it is now an event where people try to earn money from, an event where your red packets have to have your name written on it so that people will know how much you give.
i am just glad mine wasn't like this. -
hmm i dunno the rates... but i earn a meagre salary of 1.3...Originally posted by Fatum:yes of course, buying 4D is silly ... but woah ! .... getting married costs so much ? ...
i'm going to start putting more into the kitty each month now .......
i have just enuff to feed myself after makin the mthly repayment. -
wedding dinners are happy occassions.Originally posted by Deportivo:The point about the wedding dinner is not about the red packets. It was supposed to be time of gathering and celebration and remembrance.
Sadly it is now an event where people try to earn money from, an event where your red packets have to have your name written on it so that people will know how much you give.
i am just glad mine wasn't like this.
i remember tellin nellie, lemme daydream for a bit.. if we have our wedding dinner, what's it gg to be like?
but that day dreamin lasted for just that night.
stop thinkin about it the next day.
Making dream a reality is impossible even if i have the monies.
My parents -
What you can't change, you have to accept.
It's your karma. -
so to make things simple, no dinner whatsoevaOriginally posted by Wanda:What you can't change, you have to accept.
It's your karma. -
The only thing you can't change is your blood status (ethnicity). Even gender can be reassigned.Originally posted by Wanda:What you can't change, you have to accept. -
Originally posted by iveco:The only thing you can't change is your blood status (ethnicity). Even gender can be reassigned.
