I can't take it anymore.....he's just a mother f@#ker....
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Originally posted by littlestream:
Should be Circus..
I also hardly ever write until so much. I was shocked to see the final text myself.
Well, to reinforce, you both are young (I presume). You both will meet more/new people, friends, colleagues, blah, blah. There will be/may be temptations but if there is NO commitment or there is problems in the relationship, it is so easy to give an excuse to sway. Our partners are after all, not angels. And neither are we.
One thing I tell my husband is, he has to give me the chance to right a wrong so if he is unhappy with either me or an issue, he has to speak up. Likewise, I do the same which pai seh, sometimes can be classified as nagging.
If I can be of any encouragement to you at all, I have been with my husband for 25 years and am still in love with him. They were not all smooth sailing but like I said, with each hurdle we crossed, we bond stronger.
Again, good luck and please hor.......[b]don't join stellazio in his circles.
I know he was joking. Thought I'll take a ride on the bandwagon too. It is after all a boring Thursday afternoon. *yawnz*[/b] -
U neglected her & knew dat she was seeing some1. Yet u let her coz U trusted her to make sensible decisions. Wat's sensible to me wld be, if my bf of 8 yrs is unable to pay more attention in our relationship (which means i'm as gd as without a bf), 1 sided effort will not work out, so might as well let go now. How many more 8 yrs do u wan to drag on? We gals don't have many 8 yrs.. unless u did ur 'part' dutifully in the relationship, she wouldn't have to make a choice now. Sorry to say, but if u'r no gd, some1 else better will take over.Originally posted by kAdEn:i've been with her for 7-8 yrs le....
i know i've neglected her...and a few mths back i know she was seeing someone else. Knowing that she was just lonely and needed to talk to someone i let her be because i trusted her...i know she would be make the sensible decisions.
She doesn't knows what to do, because she feels that the guy could provider her with the attention that she wants...but she at the same time, she can't bear to leave me becos she can't see herself doing that.... -
Girls are always demanding..So you better listen to this advice also...So forget about the circle tingy and go back to making her happy..Originally posted by Camellias4me:U neglected her & knew dat she was seeing some1. Yet u let her coz U trusted her to make sensible decisions. Wat's sensible to me wld be, if my bf of 8 yrs is unable to pay more attention in our relationship (which means i'm as gd as without a bf), 1 sided effort will not work out, so might as well let go now. How many more 8 yrs do u wan to drag on? We gals don't have many 8 yrs.. unless u did ur 'part' dutifully in the relationship, she wouldn't have to make a choice now. Sorry to say, but if u'r no gd, some1 else better will take over. -
no lie mah... unless he's not working hard for the future lah.Originally posted by dcx:Empty promises??? Liar??? It doesn't make much diff between him n that guy then....
aiya.. Sometimes the right words at the right time can work wonders.. especially girls who are insecured, they need more attention and assurance.
but then again, sometimes we can be too caught with our work. If once or twice, she complains about it, it's ok. but if she breaks up cos of that siong period that you are facing... I dunno.. for me, it's a no-no. After all, she has to understand that my whole life is not ONLY about her, it's not as though you are having a good time at work..
provided, of course, you must know how to balance your time lah. -
Eh, not demanding lah. Both need to work to keep the relationship going. Think abt wat if the position is reversed? Ur gf neglects u coz of work / sch & hardly have time for u.. love will definitely die off after sometime.. everything will.Originally posted by stellazio:Girls are always demanding..So you better listen to this advice also...So forget about the circle tingy and go back to making her happy.. -
If the other way ard.. if girls are busy, and guy complains..Originally posted by Camellias4me:Eh, not demanding lah. Both need to work to keep the relationship going. Think abt wat if the position is reversed? Ur gf neglects u coz of work / sch & hardly have time for u.. love will definitely die off after sometime.. everything will.
they call it "whining".
guys never wins in an argument.. -
And when u don't complain/whine.. after sometime sure become 'sian'. And wat happens if u meet another nice gal, fall in love again...Originally posted by k4korny:If the other way ard.. if girls are busy, and guy complains..
they call it "whining".
guys never wins in an argument.. 
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You go read first page..One is not enough..So A not free,always got B!!..Originally posted by Camellias4me:Eh, not demanding lah. Both need to work to keep the relationship going. Think abt wat if the position is reversed? Ur gf neglects u coz of work / sch & hardly have time for u.. love will definitely die off after sometime.. everything will. -
Like wat little stream says loh.. if you're young, and as long as you're not married there's no commitment to each other mah.Originally posted by Camellias4me:And when u don't complain/whine.. after sometime sure become 'sian'. And wat happens if u meet another nice gal, fall in love again...
but in this case, 7-8 years leh.. a bit sad to break up over that few weeks that he has been neglecting her, rite? -
Few wks only meh? Ya lah.. dun say 7-8 yrs, even 2-3 yrs also sad 1 mah. Unless they try 2 work it out & salvage the relationship. Sometimes it serves as a "warning" to shake the guy up abit.. make him realise dat he needs to put in more effort if he wants to keep love going.Originally posted by k4korny:Like wat little stream says loh.. if you're young, and as long as you're not married there's no commitment to each other mah.
but in this case, 7-8 years leh.. a bit sad to break up over that few weeks that he has been neglecting her, rite?
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She has to make up her mind . But before she does so, continue showing ur love for her in small little things that u do, sometimes, can be big things too.
i disagree with what u said abt love regarding the guy's and gal's point of view. u said tt to a guy, love is a decision. and to a gal, love is a feeling.
now, let me clarify this. WHO IN THE HELL SAID THAT LOVE IS A FEELING?? It is more than that.
Love IS a decision. It's not JUST a feeling. And if anyone were to look at it this way as if love is just a feeling, than they actually don't know the true meaning of unconditional love.
In order to love someone, they must have something more than just a feeling.
And if love is just a feeling to ur girl, then... God help u. -
maybe thats the reason why i don't have proper and full relationships..Originally posted by The Emperor:She has to make up her mind . But before she does so, continue showing ur love for her in small little things that u do, sometimes, can be big things too.
i disagree with what u said abt love regarding the guy's and gal's point of view. u said tt to a guy, love is a decision. and to a gal, love is a feeling.
now, let me clarify this. WHO IN THE HELL SAID THAT LOVE IS A FEELING?? It is more than that.
Love IS a decision. It's not JUST a feeling. And if anyone were to look at it this way as if love is just a feeling, than they actually don't know the true meaning of unconditional love.
In order to love someone, they must have something more than just a feeling.
And if love is just a feeling to ur girl, then... God help u. -
yea, so he knows it is his negligence that causes her to be torn now...so if he wants to keep the r/s, he shud know what to do?Originally posted by stellazio:He said liao ma,he neglected her due to work commitments in the past 6 months..And the quote "absence makes the heart fonder" is sometimes debatable.. 
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wrong...Originally posted by kAdEn:a girl is different from a guy....
Love to them is a feeling, that's why it changes....
but to a guy or maybe me, loving is a decision. We make it and we stick by it...
you cannot just generalize like this...
A girl would never leave a guy she has been with for years just because her feelings change...there must be something that causes her feelings to change...you said you have made a decision and wanted to stick to it, but you know you have neglected her, but what have you done to salvage the situation? -
Hello, excuse me............where got say like that?Originally posted by k4korny:Like wat little stream says loh.. if you're young, and as long as you're not married there's no commitment to each other mah.
but in this case, 7-8 years leh.. a bit sad to break up over that few weeks that he has been neglecting her, rite?
What I mean is, we have to be committed in a relationship. If I am committed, even one good looking chap or someone supposingly nice come along, I will not sway. -
What if its erm was it Andy Lau,Tony Leung, or who ar??Damn soo many till i forget liao..Originally posted by littlestream:Hello, excuse me............where got say like that?
What I mean is, we have to be committed in a relationship. If I am committed, even one good looking chap or someone supposingly nice come along, I will not sway. -
Alamak.......stellazio.........don't hijack people's thread ley. But erm, I am not a fan of those you name. So, heng ah.Originally posted by stellazio:What if its erm was it Andy Lau,Tony Leung, or who ar??Damn soo many till i forget liao..
You never heard of one mountain, got one mountain higher ah? So, there will always be someone better who may come in and out of our lives. Then how? Start falling in love over and over again???
Anyways, threadstarter has to take certain responsibilities because he sort of allow this to happen. Sorry to say. But nevertheless, it takes two hands to clap, so both also have their issues and only both of them can resolve it. How much they want the relationship to work. If one wants it bad enough, one will make it happen, I guess. -
I think the ppl in this forums a bit sadist at the same time compassionate. We all like to listen to sad stories and try to help them...
i've posted quite a few topics before but none have generated this kind of reponse before...Other than sex, i think we are all very keen to give advises to affairs of the heart.
Thanks to everyone for their lovely advices and arguements. Right now i think i've done what i could have done le, though when can we say that enough is enough....never.....so i'll just keep plugging at it.
Anyway i'm don't want to be seen as a wuss by complaining about what the guy did, as one of you correctly pointed out, all is fair in love and war. But even in war, we have a moral obligation to stand-by a code of conduct, etc. the geneva convention or the kyoto pact. I know, i know ...who cares right? But i just want to complain mah....
i just feel sad knowing that she's slightly lost right now because i neglected her....with hindsight, i prob could have organised our schedules properly to meet up as much as we could. (Her schedule is not fixed and she has to travel a lot....my schedule is fixed but i've never left been able to leave my work less than 2 hours after 6pm.) So sometimes it's really quite taxing... -
stop ur bickering n excuses. U only need to worry about one thing.. TIME MANAGEMENT! the dude comes back again..stand ur ground. show him what u are made off n sock him in the face n tell him u got ur name inprinted on her ass ya.Originally posted by kAdEn:I think the ppl in this forums a bit sadist at the same time compassionate. We all like to listen to sad stories and try to help them...
i've posted quite a few topics before but none have generated this kind of reponse before...Other than sex, i think we are all very keen to give advises to affairs of the heart.
Thanks to everyone for their lovely advices and arguements. Right now i think i've done what i could have done le, though when can we say that enough is enough....never.....so i'll just keep plugging at it.
Anyway i'm don't want to be seen as a wuss by complaining about what the guy did, as one of you correctly pointed out, all is fair in love and war. But even in war, we have a moral obligation to stand-by a code of conduct, etc. the geneva convention or the kyoto pact. I know, i know ...who cares right? But i just want to complain mah....
i just feel sad knowing that she's slightly lost right now because i neglected her....with hindsight, i prob could have organised our schedules properly to meet up as much as we could. (Her schedule is not fixed and she has to travel a lot....my schedule is fixed but i've never left been able to leave my work less than 2 hours after 6pm.) So sometimes it's really quite taxing... -
Littlestream, as ever, has her finger on the pulse here, but I think that Cams is a bit closer to the point.
Don't take this as me trying to beat up on you here, Kaden, but the crux of the matter is that you neglected your girlfriend and, knowing that this has been going on for months, did nothing about it - if you found an out-of-place lump somewhere on your body, would you ignore it for months before seeing the doctor? Being busy with work is also no excuse - I'm off travelling on business one out of every three months, and I know plenty of people who have been doing the same (maybe being gone even more often), and none of us has this problem because we make a point of making the most of our time with our partners.
I'm mentioning this because it is a key element in what you need to do next. The key mistake here is yours - your girlfriend's feeling neglected and on top of that, eight years is an awfully long time to go on without taking it to the next level. If I were her I'd be questioning your level of commitment and how much this relationship really means, and therein lies your weak point. At this point, saying that you'll be sore if it's over, but c'est la vie, is absolutely the last thing you should be doing if this relationship means anything at all to you.
I know you probably don't mean to come off that way, but you do present yourself in that manner. In fact, it appears that you don't seem to have expressed yourself very well to your girlfriend at all, and that's something that you're going to have to fix. So you guys have been together for so long, but is it still a good thing or are you guys just in a rut and unwilling to make any changes because of discomfort? You're going to have to start making your feelings clear, pal - that'll go a much longer way than breaking that cock-gobbler's face.
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humh.. all these problems sound so familar leh...
alright, my point is if you love her.
spend more quality time with her.
more concern less quarrel
more understanding less jealousy (at times jealousy is a killer)
more attention less sky hawking
more love less grumbling
and lastly remember not all unhappiness.