Dealing with telemarketeers pushing for sales on the phone
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I am sure many of us receive such unwanted calls from time to time and find it really infuriating how our numbers are leaked out to the salespeople. Well below is one FUN way of dealing with them.
Starhub GUY (SG): May I speak to Marianna Chan?
Fiance: She's on the toilet, hang on.
the fiance asked me to the phone, and I thought who was on the line???
Me: Hello.
SG: Is this Marianna Chan?
Me: Yes speaking. (Crap lah, it's not even me, definitely a case of wrong number)
SG: Hi I'm ___ calling from Starhub. Currently we have a promotion for broadband. (Give me a break, when do you guys never have promotion.)
Me: Ok.
SG: Do you have broadband? (Secret is I am still on dialup)
Me: No.
SG: Are you interested in our broadband subscription? We have some exciting offers.
Me: Oh, but I am computer illiterate. (Giggles...)
SG: Oh... Do you currently have Starhub cable TV or Starhub mobile line?
Me: No.
SG: (Really at a loss now) But I see your name on my computer screen, so it must mean you have one of these services because your name is on our database.
Me: No I do not have.
SG: (I bet he really never encountered this before) Then how come your name is on my computer screen. (must be scratching head furiously now)
Me: (after snuffing out my silent giggles..) Someone must have stolen my IC.
SG: !!!
Well, that was fun! -
you sure toyed with the bugger.
me... i'm more direct.
"sorry, not interesting"
hangs up.
Handphone bill expensive leh!!! -
Hehe, I came across this just 10 mins ago:
1. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
2. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
3. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
4. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
5. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
6. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
7. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's ya been?"
8. Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, because you want to write down EVERY WORD.
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yaa i dun entertain them...i tell them sorry busy put down liao..
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just make some panting sound, just like you are in the middle of love making.
or just tell him/her "I think your voice is so sexy. *pant* *pant* *pant*" -
One of these time i got to do that
Hate those buggers that congratulating for qualifying for a draw.... -
tell them you are unemployed and they hang off immediately.
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akin to dragg's method..
"i'm broke, i'm financially geared to hell, my bank's on my ass and what the hell did you say you wanna sell me?" -
haha! these are very good and funny...
for me, i tell them it's always nice to check if it's convenient to talk... then when they ask, i say no!
for those who goes faster than the bullet train, i ask them to say it all over again slowly because i didn't catch any of that... then say not interested (I love free incoming!)Originally posted by ^spidee^:Hehe, I came across this just 10 mins ago:
1. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
2. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
3. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
4. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
5. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
6. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
7. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's ya been?"
8. Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, because you want to write down EVERY WORD. -
Nah. sorry.. click....