Say 'I do' in your mid-20s for best marriage: survey
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Originally posted by Rhonda:This sounds like the good ol' mistake - trying to inject life into a marriage by having children. Or, worse, trying to revive a marriage gone bad by having kids!
You should know better already!
i don't think she's saying having children in a marriage is a mistake. i believe she's actually referring to having children for the sole purpose of saving a dwindling marriage.Originally posted by Gazelle:rhonda since you are still single, I honestly dont think you know alot about marriages. Everytime we talk about this topic, you always like to give us all the pestimistic views about marriages. Why? tyring to encourage other to be like you? Or are you trying to show others being single is the right thing to do?
Is having children in a marriage a good ol mistake? common, dont try to talk like you know about married life when you are still a single. You are making too much assumption to please your lonely self. having a child (planned) after marriage will only enhance the bonding in the family.
Those shot-gun cases are the one you should avoid. So dont try to mix those 2 together.
Please do me a favour, get yourself a partner first before giving your comments.
and i agree. if the marriage is failing and a child is brought in as a last ditch attempt of resuscitation then it's probably not fair to the child. isn't that too heavy a burden to put on an unborn child?
children, being the joy and wonder that they are, should be brought into the world for the sake of being. not as an instrument.[/b] -
Originally posted by neuros:
Lets not kid ourselves, how many couple would actually want to have a baby with someone whom they dont feel comfortable? Do you know of any friends of family members who will say, "Honey, I think you are cheating on me, lets have baby"
i don't think she's saying having children in a marriage is a mistake. i believe she's actually referring to having children for the [b]sole purpose of saving a dwindling marriage.
and i agree. if the marriage is failing and a child is brought in as a last ditch attempt of resuscitation then it's probably not fair to the child. isn't that too heavy a burden to put on an unborn child?
children, being the joy and wonder that they are, should be brought into the world for the sake of being. not as an instrument.[/b][/b]
What I was saying is that having children in the family will bring ADDITIONAL joy and love into the family. and NOT having children to save the relationship. -
sorry lor i not rich i stay hdb nia.... can only keep 1 dog, unless i keep 2 "illegal immigrants"Originally posted by Gazelle:1 dog is not enough, should have at least 3. At least one of them die before you, you will have 2 left.
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it may seem surprising to u .. but seriously thr r ppl who does tat... except they dun say it out... wishful thinking that having a baby wil make the wandering partner come back home... at least they can't just walk out of the marriage as simply.... and not to mention the many couples tat stay in a marriage cos of the kids.Originally posted by Gazelle:Lets not kid ourselves, how many couple would actually want to have a baby with someone whom they dont feel comfortable? Do you know of any friends of family members who will say, "Honey, I think you are cheating on me, lets have baby"
What I was saying is that having children in the family will bring ADDITIONAL joy and love into the family. and NOT having children to save the relationship.
ideally of cos is to have children in a proper marriage setting lah... kinda complete the family picture.... then again wat do i noe? i dun have kids...