Happily Single and Unattached
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I think this is quite a foreign concept to a lot of locals.
The prevalent trend of thought seems to be that if you're of a 'certain age' and still single and unattached, something must be wrong with you, or you aren't going out enough, yada-yada.
Why can't locals accept the fact that some of us are actually single, and can be happily so?
Why can't folks realise that sometimes, one is single BY CHOICE?
Or maybe, one just hasn't met the right person yet and is not desperate to get hitched for the sake of getting hitched?
I heard from SL that over in Australia, she felt that the folks in general are more accepting of singles and they don't treat being single like some sorta 'social deficit'.
Why is it that over here, this kind of thinking exists?
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*have a strong feeling that the deer will come in here*
Because we are asians .... the very same reasons why people cannot accept that you are married and not have kids -
i doubt people still think of it that way. singles are more common than the married.
*runs out of the room* -
Hmm someone is trying very hard to make amends . lol!
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Yeah... it's almost like they are imposing this stereotypical expectations on everyone else.
Why can't they just live and let live? Let us be whoever and whatever we want to be??
Now, you know why I soooooo love it over in the States where nobody gives a rat's ass about your personal life because they respect personal space?
But I think a lot of clingy folks here would shrivel up and DIE when left alone to fend for themselves. We're kinda like pack animals here, travelling in herds, and we end up expecting others to conform to 'herd characteristics and profile'. -
Originally posted by dragg:i doubt people still think of it that way. singles are more common than the married.
*runs out of the room*
dragg, you stop running away!
I shall throw the same taunting question back at you... YOU are not getting any younger yourself. So, why are you still single?
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Yup! Yup!!Originally posted by choco B:Hmm someone is trying very hard to make amends . lol! -
Originally posted by Rhonda:
dragg, you stop running away!
I shall throw the same taunting question back at you... YOU are not getting any younger yourself. So, why are you still single? -
single single loh, so be it, who cares what other ppl say
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Poor draggy
Aiya if we live to please others, we'll never be happy
It's like when you are single it's
"When are you getting a boyfriend"
When you have a boyfriend
"When are you getting married"
When you are married
"When are you having kids"
And the list goes on -
Granted, it's natural that there are times when I feel down because I feel so lonely and alone. And then, I start to look at the perceived greener grass on the other side.
BUT, the married folks might think that my grass is greener, especially if they're stuck in an unhappy marriage they cannot see a way out of.
What if your spouse's love for you has died and though you try to re-ignite it, he / she doesn't seem to be interested in reviving it at all? Then, what? Both of you trudge through life in sheer drudgery and unhappiness, staying together 'for the kids' sake'.
There are pro's and con's for both sides. You win some, you lose some. Married or single, your life is ultimately what you make out of whatever you have been dealt with.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, heard of that?
I propose going one step further : 'When life deals you lemons, make lemonade, Lemon-Custard Puffs, Lemon Cheesecake, Super Lemon sweets, Lemon Citrus cookies, Lemon Cinnamon Buns, Lemon Jam Donuts and Iced Lemon Tea, open a stand, and sell them for profits!! And then, become a Lemonade Tycoon the next year!'
(Sorry... been playing too much ''Lemonade Tycoon II''! 
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You forget, when you are attached, they'll talk behind your back and comment about your boyfriend / girlfriend!Originally posted by elindra:Poor draggy
Aiya if we live to please others, we'll never be happy
It's like when you are single it's
"When are you getting a boyfriend"
When you have a boyfriend
"When are you getting married"
When you are married
"When are you having kids"
And the list goes on
Boyfriend not good enough... too ugly... has a good job... doesn't have a stable job... heard he's got quite a bad temper... etc etc.
It never ends!
That's why, donkey years ago, I quit from the post of 'People Pleaser'! -
I find the western world is more accepting of singles and divorcees and single parents and all these other 'anomalies' of society. Here, we talk about 'tolerance' but over there, 'acceptance' is a more appropriate term.
Doesn't that expose the underlying insinuations a lot? -
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Originally posted by erijazz:
Yo! Erijazz!! Say what you want leh! I don't really know what you're trying to say! -
YAH!!!! They couldn't say anything about Chris so they were commenting why can't I get a chinese guyOriginally posted by Rhonda:You forget, when you are attached, they'll talk behind your back and comment about your boyfriend / girlfriend!
Boyfriend not good enough... too ugly... has a good job... doesn't have a stable job... heard he's got quite a bad temper... etc etc.
It never ends!
That's why, donkey years ago, I quit from the post of 'People Pleaser'! 
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Originally posted by elindra:YAH!!!! They couldn't say anything about Chris so they were commenting why can't I get a chinese guy
Then, if you had gotten a Chinese guy, they'd go, 'Is he Teochew / Hokkien / Cantonese? What does he work as? Will he be able to provide a comfortable life for you?' etc etc. -
My ah ma once commented that ladies should get men who can give them a comfortable lifestyle and provide for the family. Y'know, she was born in that era where women stay home and the men are the sole breadwinners.
So, I told her, 'Ah ni kuan, ah ma, wa mm si jia liao bi? Tak ani juay chek gao yin liao mai cho kang? Dan lang chi ah?'
(Translation : Like that, ah ma, I've like wasted all the years eating rice and growing up! So what's the point of studying all those years if I don't work in the end?)
Ah ma like that
... but she bo way gong liao! -
Well... I never knew that its a problem or pressure until now you mentioned.Originally posted by Rhonda:
Yo! Erijazz!! Say what you want leh! I don't really know what you're trying to say!
Or maybe becoz I'm a guy so even if there are, I'm juz being ignorant about it, the usual me Happy go lucky -
Right on!!!Originally posted by Rhonda:
Then, if you had gotten a Chinese guy, they'd go, 'Is he Teochew / Hokkien / Cantonese? What does he work as? Will he be able to provide a comfortable life for you?' etc etc.
Therefore never be a people pleaser coz you can't please everyone and you end up being unhappy -
i think my parents pretty much expects my sis and bro to remain single..oh crap now they're pinning their hopes on me..wah jialat..
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Oddly enough, I don't think about it, until folks start to say what dragg just said to me, then I think inside, 'What the!!!'Originally posted by erijazz:Well... I never knew that its a problem or pressure until now you mentioned.
Or maybe becoz I'm a guy so even if there are, I'm juz being ignorant about it, the usual me Happy go lucky
I don't care about what biological clock because I think I must be selectively deaf, and very blissfully so!
Some women seem to have biological clocks that 'ding-dong's as loud as London's Big Ben!
My Malay colleagues have ever commented, 'You are no longer young already! Quickly get a boyfriend, settle down, get married and have kids!'
And I look at them and say, 'And that solves all your problems meh?? Or, if I remember the stories you've told, it seems to give you newer and more problems leh!'
They then, diam liao! -
frankly i only meant to pull your leg when i suggested it.
i did not expect the big reaction.
now i know.....
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eh actually i thought you were the kind who would rather be attached given a choice..Originally posted by Rhonda:Oddly enough, I don't think about it, until folks start to say what dragg just said to me, then I think inside, 'What the!!!'
I don't care about what biological clock because I think I must be selectively deaf, and very blissfully so!
Some women seem to have biological clocks that 'ding-dong's as loud as London's Big Ben!
My Malay colleagues have ever commented, 'You are no longer young already! Quickly get a boyfriend, settle down, get married and have kids!'
And I look at them and say, 'And that solves all your problems meh?? Or, if I remember the stories you've told, it seems to give you newer and more problems leh!'
They then, diam liao! -
Up till today, grandma STILL comments on my aunt's husband!Originally posted by elindra:Right on!!!
Therefore never be a people pleaser coz you can't please everyone and you end up being unhappy They've been married like forever liao and their kids are in their early 20's and she's STILL talking about my uncle like they're still dating!
She hiams that he's not Hokkien / Teochew, then she hiams that he's got awful dentures, and then she says he's 'san bor ngeow'! (She's quite eeevil! ) And then, she dislikes how he has bowel movements right after a meal!
See, there's really no end to it!
She even told me once, to marry a Hokkien / Teochew and make sure he has good teeth and no asthma so that our kids will be healthy and I was ! Biangz... is she talking about pedigrees mating or what?!
EEEEEeeeevil!! Grandma's eeeeevil!!
And of course, I have endless fun bantering with her and teasing her! And my parents love to hear me and grandma talking in the car cause our conversations get very animated sometimes!
I love family days!