Helping our men of the post feminist era
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Like the rest, I don't see how the birth-rate is tied in with feminism. It's more of a choice now for a couple these days on whether they want to give up the current lifestyle to have a kid, or not. The thing is that everyone wants it good these days and having a kid means that you have to sacrifice your time, money, privacy etc etc and alot of people are not willing to give that up. That's the reason why we are seeing a rise in abortions for married couples.
What I think it's not so much of feminism as well on the changes in roles for the males these days but on what is happening in our society. It is difficult and almost impossible for most familes to just survive on the paycheck of a sole breadwinner, resulting in the sharing of housework between 2 parties and also making the woman less reliant on the man. Having said that, by contributing to the household income, the woman will more often than not, want to have more say in the family, that's why there is no definate 'Head' of the family and decisions are shared if not fought over.
I would think the upbringing instilled in the kids played a part too. You know how parents go on about saying that the guy is always the head of the family blah blah blah (thank goodness my parents don't do that) and that the girl have to be the one doing all the housework blah blah blah.... and the shock I think most guys face is that, that is really not the case now. If their wife works they have to help out or there might be some unhappiness and at the same time, most women are daddy's little princess so they hardly do any housework and I think most of you know the story and how it goes..... (though not wanting to learn is a problem with most women)
I believe that the Women's Charter serves it's purpose on protecting those who are not as educated or is not able to support themselves. However, I do think that some things have to be changed as I do agree that it is being abused.
Well, there will almost be women complaining that the guys are marrying foreign brides and there will always be guys complaining that we women only want a rich angmoh boyfriend/husband. Either way, both see it as getting someone better or suitable for them so I don't see why not.
Anyway with regards to power, there is no win-win situation. When one goes into power, the other loses it. The only way is to 'evolve' and learn to live in the world. Basically I would think that what we're facing is rapid social changes than feminism itself. I should think for the majority of women, they would still have the romantic notion of marrying the guy of their dreams and being happy.
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I'm still having doubts about his thread. I would like to ask the thread starter if she meant the thread seriously or just as a joke. I'm wondering that everyone takes it so seriously. Maybe it's just me who finds it ehmmmm how to tell it without any offence ... Gedanken would say "unthinking" . Maybe the thread should be better written because it sounds (atleast to me) like from a kid.
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apparently the judge thought that she can't support herself, probably is a housewife, not working for a long time liaoOriginally posted by Saint Valentine:did it really happen? If got proof, why still give such a sentence? -
Let's face it. Society has evolved and continue to evolve to make life conducive for women to progress in education, career, business, etc, i.e. to power ahead in life.
Has society made it that conducive for the men to power ahead similarly?
What do you say women?
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I've got 2 words for the thread starter.
"Who cares!!!?!" *said in a half-stoned laid back Bob Dylan drawl*
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In the context of an Asian culture, I agree with what you are saying. And thats why aging singapore women are becoming so damn horny. Why? Because most singaporean man dont enjoy making love to a demanding wife?Originally posted by CynthiaLady:are men failing miserably in this post-feminist world? is the future of the both male and female species in danger?
and are women really to blame?
we should all be concerned
Over dinner with my friends .The conversation suddenly turned serious. I found myself embroiled in a heated discussion about,
of all things, the problems facing men in our
post-feminist world (I wondered was I hearing things).
The problems suffered by men and women. It seems to me the faliing birth
rates in singapore has something to do with the harmful effects of feminism.
Decent men and as well as women are suffer. As we know today's men are a generation raised by the independent women.
And as a result they didnt have proper role models of both female and male resulting in dysfunctional families
A highly functional family is important for the welfare of future generations and population growth.
(b) Today there are too many dysfunctional families and thus dysfunctional kids.
(c) Today's men need to find a new but satisfactory role, different from that of the last century. This is not well defined by males or females. There exist specific negative attitudes, ideas and omissions inimical to a successful quest for any such role
(d) Those men who are able: are not speaking up concerning male matters
(e) Women (those we hear and read) are not helping by concentrating more on their own needs and the shortcomings of men rather than being constructive in the search for (a) & (c) above
Feminism has achieved much for women, but why did this have to be at the cost of men. Because it is not kept in check, it begins to exert its harmful effects.The women's charter is not helping us women as well. Instead of feminism and women's charter ridding women's lives off evil and ills, it has become a tool of greed and capitalism or power.
it is no use that females complain about men marring foreign wives local women are too demanding. They are fair too just like us women who dont want to marry a abusive man.
In due time we need to address this issue fast and clear before we have a national population crisis.
Cynthia.
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http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=178870
Just realised that this is a cross-post. For those who are interested, you can view some replies on the other thread as well. This thread will still go on as the other thread is closed by the moderator. -
lots of mistresses of SG?Originally posted by Gazelle:In the context of an Asian culture, I agree with what you are saying. And thats why aging singapore women are becoming so damn horny. Why? Because most singaporean man dont enjoy making love to a demanding wife? -
above from cross thread Elindra posted.Originally posted by CynthiaLady:Yes dokono, i understand the men. Men will always downmarry. their biological nature is such. Of course there are men who dont mind marrying a woman earning a hihger income and education, if she is a good wife and does not give problems.. The point is women need to accomodate these men. Men will not mind many things really. The problem lies mostly with women and their egos
I am sorry men do not necessarily "down marry". I would be very interested in how you got this conclusion. If you speak to your women friends you will find out quickly that a woman wants to marry a man who earns more than she does (and is taller LOL).
I dont believe that women need to accomadate any person she doe not wish to. I find it funny that you have such an old fashion way of thinking. The only thing i would suggest to "older" and more sucessful women is give a guy a real go and get to know him better. Remembering that once you past a certain age you both are pretty set in your ways. And single sometime is easier. -
*Beep*Originally posted by thinkdifferent:I'm still having doubts about his thread. I would like to ask the thread starter if she meant the thread seriously or just as a joke. I'm wondering that everyone takes it so seriously. Maybe it's just me who finds it ehmmmm how to tell it without any offence ... Gedanken would say "unthinking" . Maybe the thread should be better written because it sounds (atleast to me) like from a kid. -
I think she meant that men will always 'down marry' as in the woman earns less than him. So the guy marries 'down' and the woman marries 'upOriginally posted by Kan_i:above from cross thread Elindra posted.
I am sorry men do not necessarily "down marry". I would be very interested in how you got this conclusion. If you speak to your women friends you will find out quickly that a woman wants to marry a man who earns more than she does (and is taller LOL).
I dont believe that women need to accomadate any person she doe not wish to. I find it funny that you have such an old fashion way of thinking. The only thing i would suggest to "older" and more sucessful women is give a guy a real go and get to know him better. Remembering that once you past a certain age you both are pretty set in your ways. And single sometime is easier.
However, I do have friends who marry 'down' if she wants to see it as marrying 'down', guy has less education and earns less than them but ultimately it's the soulmate and love that they find in the guy. -
Yes i understand what she meant... i have never heard a woman not wanting to find a guy who earns more.Originally posted by elindra:I think she meant that men will always 'down marry' as in the woman earns less than him. So the guy marries 'down' and the woman marries 'up
However, I do have friends who marry 'down' if she wants to see it as marrying 'down', guy has less education and earns less than them but ultimately it's the soulmate and love that they find in the guy.
How ever i have never heard a man saying i will marry a woman that earns less intentionaly. -
Well, like thinkdifferent said, why are you taking this so seriously as it sounds like a jokeOriginally posted by Kan_i:Yes i understand what she meant... i have never heard a woman not wanting to find a guy who earns more.
How ever i have never heard a man saying i will marry a woman that earns less intentionaly.
Thing is, I think we have too much time on our hands or we just take everything seriously -
Sounds like the threadstarter is trying to get people here to help her finish her GP homework or something, no?Originally posted by thinkdifferent:I'm still having doubts about his thread. I would like to ask the thread starter if she meant the thread seriously or just as a joke. I'm wondering that everyone takes it so seriously. Maybe it's just me who finds it ehmmmm how to tell it without any offence ... Gedanken would say "unthinking" . Maybe the thread should be better written because it sounds (atleast to me) like from a kid. -
Originally posted by elindra:Well, like thinkdifferent said, why are you taking this so seriously as it sounds like a joke
Thing is, I think we have too much time on our hands or we just take everything seriously 
lets move on then -
most women will deny the fact that they dont married down, however statistic shows that grad women would prefer to marry man who have at least equal or higher qualification.Originally posted by Kan_i:Yes i understand what she meant... i have never heard a woman not wanting to find a guy who earns more.
How ever i have never heard a man saying i will marry a woman that earns less intentionaly. -
Who cares about statistics, trends, ego, etc?
If a rich woman I've just met tells me "marry me now and you can retire tomorrow as I'll support you for life", I'll say "I do" without thinking twice!
Imagine this: No more monthly reports to write, no more shouting matches at the end of the year with your boss to agree to next year's budget, no more hard doctoring of accounts to show that you're broken even for the year, etc etc.... -
*puts hands up for being toyboy too*Originally posted by gentlerock:Who cares about statistics, trends, ego, etc?
If a rich woman I've just met tells me "marry me now and you can retire tomorrow as I'll support you for life", I'll say "I do" without thinking twice!
Imagine this: No more monthly reports to write, no more shouting matches at the end of the year with your boss to agree to next year's budget, no more hard doctoring of accounts to show that you're broken even for the year, etc etc.... -
She will probably give you painless BJ without her denture.Originally posted by gentlerock:Who cares about statistics, trends, ego, etc?
If a rich woman I've just met tells me "marry me now and you can retire tomorrow as I'll support you for life", I'll say "I do" without thinking twice!
Imagine this: No more monthly reports to write, no more shouting matches at the end of the year with your boss to agree to next year's budget, no more hard doctoring of accounts to show that you're broken even for the year, etc etc.... -
I seirously think that the Women's Charter is flawed.
I quote the judge who ordered the husband to pay alimony to the wife even though she was the one who cheated.
Can we say, in this situation, that its the husband's fault?
No.. you really can't.
Is it the wife's fault?
Yes.
But why is the wife being granted money?
Because the rules of the Women's charter says so... and some other family law statutes...
These laws are used to protect women in the 1800+ up to 1950+ when women were the weaker race and were being abused by their husbands...
Now yes, there are still abuses, but i believe there are more independent women who earns more than their counterparts..
But the law still stands, the Women's charter is still protecting the women, just that half of them don't need protection anymore.
I always lamented on this fact, but there's really nothing i can do about it.. bah. In many ways women are no longer inferior. They are superior to the males now..
And its sad.. -
Feminism existed because of Man's failure of being the Man they are!
If man were to be more responsible, strong and courageous in a right way, feminism wouldn't have existed.
It is due to man's abusive character and undecisive decadant nature that he has fallen short of his own former glory.
As man, we are called to be the leaders and the directors of the mainstream. Women are called to be the subordinates and followers. They are made originally to be submissive to man. But man, being abusive as they eventually became, started to abuse their authority and also became irresponsible.
Because man became so immature, the women have no choice but to rise up and dominate the society.
This is all largely to be blamed on the man's side.
Ask any women in the world and they'll tell you that man should bark up and be a real man. -
Failed!Originally posted by Kan_i:*puts hands up for being toyboy too* 
To be a toyboy, you need to put something else up....not your hands. -
I have read the original post and the replies and I am disgusted and more. It's not easy to bring me out of the balance but that thread with the replies has done it. It's better when I don't comment it, that way I don't offend anyone.Originally posted by elindra:http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=178870
Just realised that this is a cross-post. For those who are interested, you can view some replies on the other thread as well. This thread will still go on as the other thread is closed by the moderator.
Damn, I should take it even less seriously. -
don't worry, my sixth sense tells me
God about to press the "restart" button -
Take it easy lah, friend. In fact, take it as seriously as I did (read my posts in this thread) and you'll be fine.Originally posted by thinkdifferent:I have read the original post and the replies and I am disgusted and more. It's not easy to bring me out of the balance but that thread with the replies has done it. It's better when I don't comment it, that way I don't offend anyone.
Damn, I should take it even less seriously.