To have, or not to have kids? What's your take?
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I did read, but I only quoted this part to make fun.Originally posted by Rhonda:The problem with not reading the whole message but just piecemeal, is that you get this kinda totally inaccurate perceptions!
So, best thing is, don't read, don't comment lor, otherwise, will get things wrong one! -
don't have kids unless your wife says she wants, then start calculating budget.
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actually, i hate the word "kids"
i think of baby goats...
lots of other words to use.. bairn, young 'uns, child, baby, progeny...
(from dictionary.com)
kid
n.
- A young goat.
- The young of a similar animal, such as an antelope.
- The flesh of a young goat.
- Leather made from the skin of a young goat; kidskin.
- An article made from this leather. -
DEVILS.Originally posted by the Bear:actually, i hate the word "kids"
i think of baby goats...
lots of other words to use.. bairn, young 'uns, child, baby, progeny...
(from dictionary.com)
kid
n.
- A young goat.
- The young of a similar animal, such as an antelope.
- The flesh of a young goat.
- Leather made from the skin of a young goat; kidskin.
- An article made from this leather. -
Well, having kids fills the home up
Though they maybe troublesome at times, their smile on the face makes you feel comforting -
i like taking photos of kids and babies.Originally posted by sbst275:Well, having kids fills the home up
Though they maybe troublesome at times, their smile on the face makes you feel comforting
that's where i draw my line -
kopi sprouts the standard lines...
i love children.. as long as they aren't mine -
pls lah...Originally posted by InnoHippo:if dont want kids, why get married in the first place?
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i've got the NIMBY syndrome.Originally posted by the Bear:kopi sprouts the standard lines...
i love children.. as long as they aren't mine
Not In My Backyard!!! -
no crying and diaper-changing allowedOriginally posted by the Bear:kopi sprouts the standard lines...
i love children.. as long as they aren't mine -
Very hard to reply when you reply under what I say leh.
ppl don't just stay put in Singapore, i think the future gen will be flying all over the place, so don't hv to be too wory..where there is a grass there is way (translate from hokkien) .
Don't need to wait for the future gen. Our current gen is already flying out of the country. If my SO is not bonded, I would think we would have left as well. Anyway, I don't really like the environment here for kids.
umm sacrifice...err i think really depend on how u see kids, if hv kids is cos its not wat u want then its a sacrifice...err i will say its just some adjustment to suit changes in life...its like someone who found out he/she has high cholesterol, need to change eating style for the good of himself...bad example??
recently i came across one article, saying if only if don't hv kids i can do this and that...can't rem the content liao...maybe if someone has that, can put it here....
u must hv the kids then u can really feel for yourself the joy and gladness for the decision to hv them....the joy of bringing them up is really worth the adj in lifestyle...actually only the first few yrs u are more tied down...when they are really...there are also many things like going for sports etc with them...but of course not pubbing life lah....
That's the thing. You answered it for me. I don't want to have kids if possible. I don't like kids. I don't even like playing with them. Looking at how my nieces and nephews behave is enough to put anyone off having kids! (They scared my SO as well)
Maybe when I have a kid then I may see it from a different point of view that they are a blessing and joy because right now I see them as a pain in the neck. Plus there is always the issue of who is going to look after them. Maid? No Way! Parents or Parents-in-laws. No too especially since they will be spoilt rotten which basically boils down to having to leave my job to look after the kid which is a huge opportunity lost especially in income, which translate into sacrifices on your standard of living etc.
take it a challenge bah....actually if parents maintain close bonding and teaching values from young, there are still many good/well behave kids around..maybe these we don't see cos they don't frequent eg shopping etc all the time.....i m not saying they are studying all the time hor....just that they could be not loud hence we don't notice...
I would say that my cousins are strict with their kids and they still turn out like monkeys so I think it's more than close bonding and teaching values.
actually rats race also partially contributed by parents....if u get to know some u will know....so its like they say its us, we say its them (MOE) contributing...well....well....
then again, parents if willing to put in some efforts, kids can be relief of some rat race stress...studying is the key but not everything....
The thing is that parents are putting in the effort which results in more stress and it's really a no win situation. You don't push them they lag far behind everyone. Of course there will be play and all but it's something we will continue to see -
Have a kid. Not kids
Default gender male of course. -
That's the thing. You answered it for me. I don't want to have kids if possible. I don't like kids. I don't even like playing with them. Looking at how my nieces and nephews behave is enough to put anyone off having kids! (They scared my SO as well) well its not necessary that being strict will lead to children being well behave etc.....
in this pressurizing society, plus all the influences and available exposure....
being too strict only drive kids up the wall i guess.....
blame the milk, all the dhas and wat not, making the children of these days too smart,
usually intelligent children are tougher to handle maybe cos of their active mind....
i hv seen one sure who gave the mum headaches in school but with great efforts of school and parents...he has turned into a well behave one with his smartness all still intact of course
......i always believe there are pro and cons to everything. we can find many reasons for having kids, we can also find many reasons for not having them....everyone's perspective is diff....most importantly be happy...
its just like the choice for singles forever and vice verse.... -
my experience has it that male is more challenging then having girlOriginally posted by alexkusu:Have a kid. Not kids
Default gender male of course. -
oh no no pls they are not words of wisdom....just sharing my thots only.....Originally posted by InnoHippo:words of wisdom
white can looks so clean and tranquil to some while it can look simply boring and sickly to some.... -
but...isnt it more costly rearing a female? all those female equipments, etc..Originally posted by a_splash:my experience has it that male is more challenging then having girl
futhermore u wont be so worried if ur son goes out to town and comes back the next day rite? -
Agree wif u .Suffering liao ,studying 4 a levelsOriginally posted by elindra:Ok, since Rhonda started one on Singapore being overpopulated, what are your views on having a kid/kids in Singapore?
Is the standard of living an issue or you just love kids so much that you will take one step at a time. Or you just don't want to sacrifice your current lifestyle for a kid?
What about other concerns if any? Like the way kids behave these days etc.
On my end, I would prefer not to have a kid now (maybe in future because SO wants one) as I'm not ready for the sacrifices I have to make as a mother and also, I just enjoy the freedom I have now and not having to worry for another person.
Honestly, if SO doesn't like kids, I don't even think I want one.
Why? If I'm going to stay in Singapore forever, the competition and everything is making me wonder if this is even a good environment for kids to grow up in. Because, the rat race starts in school and not the workplace and there is no natural spaces for them to play in as well.
On top of that, there is the financial burden to carry. We consider ourselves middle income and having a kid really reduces our current quality of life.
These are my feelings on having a kid in Singapore. The so-called benefits given by the government is really not attractive for me to want to have a kid. If the corporate world widely practices things (not limited to certain companies) like flexi-hours, on-site childcare etc then maybe I would consider having a kid.
Meantime, we will just see how things goes
Dont want to bring somebody to e world to suffer -
why male?sexist huh?Originally posted by alexkusu:Have a kid. Not kids
Default gender male of course. -
studying for As. don't wanna bring someone into the world?Originally posted by Chelzea:Agree wif u .Suffering liao ,studying 4 a levels
Dont want to bring somebody to e world to suffer
siao eh, student only start thinking about having children???? -
Well,if u cant afford it,meaning if u have a low paying job ...I think dat it is better not to have children...cause hardship to e children nia
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reasons as stated aboveOriginally posted by Chelzea:why male?sexist huh? -
kids are the "product" of a relationship. Its like a special something made by and shared between you and your SO. it also represents another commitment, perhaps a higher level of love between you and your SO
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to have:
struggle in the beginning, taking care, teaching them, desciplining them, ups and downs, joyful moments, family, togetherness, contributing to society in future for the good benefit of everyone....etc..
once they go to school - worry for them they might get into bad company, get bad grades, neglect studies, inappropriate lifestyles, or hack care.....
once they become adult - happy times again! parents can relax, go holidays, feel so proud to have "big kids" while others wanna have don't have or can't have. (most couple regret at this time when they see other people are having children all grown up and they don't have and secretly they are admiring jealous "why didn't we plan for kids then". well no one to blame... blame themselves for that?
not to have:
financial difficulties, stressful, not ready, selfish ideas, not keen in children, find them a burden nuisance noisy troublesome(what about when mum & dad raised you till you are so big now? are u a burden too?)
later stage - complicated birth, down-syndrome children, unable to give birth anymore. envy others or if not still not bothered about not having kids. (ok good for you lor, good you know how you are leading your life).......etc
old age - lonely, envy others, lonely with no children (flesh & blood) for those happy moments as family as u miss with your parents when you were young and when they were alive. -
Wow... how did you manage to misread my message TOTALLY?Originally posted by ndmmxiaomayi:2.5 decades later, no need half child already. Either over age or in risky mama club. 
I meant, you will be supporting the kid for almost 2.5 decades! -
Basically, I agree with you Rhon, kids are a liability. Unless you really want them, then have them. You do not have to be married to have kidsOriginally posted by Rhonda:Love and companionship.
Wei... get married MUST have kids one meh? I don't remember being born to be a reproduction machine wor!
The idea of having kids is an antiquated one.