To have, or not to have kids? What's your take?
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no shooting of me pls. but i think it has to do with them facing the horrors of normal life. that and they are probably more inclined to plan far and see the dangers of getting a childOriginally posted by elindra:It's interesting to note (personal observation) that it's usually those caught up in the corporate rat race who is reluctant to have kids, and it's this group that the government wants us to start being productive in the bedroom
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Say, if this were a debate, which side would win? Probably the side that wants kids, cos they'll be viewed as more humane, loving and selfless. On the other hand, those who don't wanna have kids raise very relevant points, like not being able to provide for their kids, and not wanting their kids to suffer in the harsh environment that is Singapore.
Personally, I'd love to have my own kids (this is coming from a 20 year old guy). Not because I want to fulfill my part in serving 'National Service', not because I want to carry on my family line (not entirely anyway), but because giving life to another is one of the greatest acts of love displayed by two people in love.
I am grateful that my parents gave me a chance to be in this beautiful world, and that is all that matters.
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Dont see anything wrong with letting parents taking of the the kids. Grandparents like grandchildren and they have more experience in taking cares of babies and they have the time take good care for them. to me it is a win-win-win situation. and the best part is you get to see you parents everyday too.Originally posted by Rhonda: That's true!
But just look around and see who's in corporate work and not stressed up with the work and overtime involved.
No point having kids only to have the grandparents or maid or nanny look after most of the time. I grew up with my grandparents cause mom and dad were busy working to support the family and when I was a tot, there were many problems cause I was always torn between following my parents home to sleep or staying with grandma. Mom sure didn't have it easy then, and now that I'm all grown up, I realised what a challenge it was for her to have a career AND be a mom. However, when I was young, I didn't understand why mommy was always 'not around'.
I've come across colleagues who try hard to have babies, and there was this particular colleague who had to undergo several courses of expensive IVF over years until she finally got pregnant on the 6th or 7th year. But after the baby was born, the couple left the baby entirely to the nanny for the entire week and would only bring baby home on Saturdays and Sundays!
I think my jaw dropped involuntarily when she was telling me this and I had to quickly regain composure and smile.
Doesn't that make you wonder why they would even bother trying for a child in the first place?! -
agree wif u! a baby is a beautiful product made by u n ur love one. someone who u created n cultivated so that he/she can become a better person n contribute in societies.Originally posted by ^spidee^:Say, if this were a debate, which side would win? Probably the side that wants kids, cos they'll be viewed as more humane, loving and selfless. On the other hand, those who don't wanna have kids raise very relevant points, like not being able to provide for their kids, and not wanting their kids to suffer in the harsh environment that is Singapore.
Personally, I'd love to have my own kids (this is coming from a 20 year old guy). Not because I want to fulfill my part in serving 'National Service', not because I want to carry on my family line (not entirely anyway), but because giving life to another is one of the greatest acts of love displayed by two people in love.
I am grateful that my parents gave me a chance to be in this beautiful world, and that is all that matters. -
if this was a debate i guess the side that wins will be the side which the judge sides since both sides have arguments(benefits/disadvantages) that are not measurable.Originally posted by ^spidee^:Say, if this were a debate, which side would win? Probably the side that wants kids, cos they'll be viewed as more humane, loving and selfless. On the other hand, those who don't wanna have kids raise very relevant points, like not being able to provide for their kids, and not wanting their kids to suffer in the harsh environment that is Singapore.
Personally, I'd love to have my own kids (this is coming from a 20 year old guy). Not because I want to fulfill my part in serving 'National Service', not because I want to carry on my family line (not entirely anyway), but because giving life to another is one of the greatest acts of love displayed by two people in love.
I am grateful that my parents gave me a chance to be in this beautiful world, and that is all that matters.
don't get me wrong, i'm not against having kids but only if one can afford ot. like having the temperament and ability to herd/control/nuture/etc the kids and the ability to give them a good life. as some one said why bring a child in to suffer? -
AGAIN you dodge the question of whether or not to have kids....Originally posted by Gazelle:Dont see anything wrong with letting parents taking of the the kids. Grandparents like grandchildren and they have more experience in taking cares of babies and they have the time take good care for them. to me it is a win-win-win situation. and the best part is you get to see you parents everyday too.
LOL yeah ok you let your parents take care of your children... you will see how a little "prince" or "princess" they are.
Grandparents will undermine your authority and spoil your child. Buying them gifts tell, you off if they cry or disciplining them.
Besides if you ask some grand parents they want their freedom to play with children and then give them back... (and no this is not gossip)
You guys are lucky in that you can hire a maid to help look after child or even take over whole responsibility. lol my SO would sure go for that. -
Actually.... don't want have kids.. then don't want lor
i think if people don't want to have kids.. other people shouldn't convince them otherwise.
It's worse if they 'believe' you then end up having kids which they are not prepared for, or unable to really care for then bad for the person, bad for the kid. -
Originally posted by hisoka:no shooting of me pls. but i think it has to do with them facing the horrors of normal life. that and they are probably more inclined to plan far and see the dangers of getting a child
Actually I agree with you so why should I shoot at you -
You can shoot at him for fun also. doesnt matter agree or don't agreeOriginally posted by elindra:
Actually I agree with you so why should I shoot at you
_shoot Shoot_
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not you lah but wait other pple dun agree then start shooting me and flaming me then i die leOriginally posted by elindra:
Actually I agree with you so why should I shoot at you not that i really care also -
/shoots shrodingerscatOriginally posted by ShrodingersCat:You can shoot at him for fun also. doesnt matter agree or don't agree
_shoot Shoot_ 
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Have you ever seen kids spolit by their grandparents? They areOriginally posted by Gazelle:Dont see anything wrong with letting parents taking of the the kids. Grandparents like grandchildren and they have more experience in taking cares of babies and they have the time take good care for them. to me it is a win-win-win situation. and the best part is you get to see you parents everyday too.
Also grandparents might just give in to the child without thinking if it is good or bad for them.
I ended up with extremely bad bronchitis as a child coz my grandpa kept feeding me ice-creams....a few cones everyday Not that I'm blaming him or anything. I love him but being his favourite grandchild had that set-back -
well you must have balance...Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:Actually.... don't want have kids.. then don't want lor
i think if people don't want to have kids.. other people shouldn't convince them otherwise.
It's worse if they 'believe' you then end up having kids which they are not prepared for, or unable to really care for then bad for the person, bad for the kid.
rembering it is far easier to be fearful that you will fail as a parent than succeed...
so i am batting for the "Have a child" side tonight.
the only time i would agree and say no to having a child is if you are not financially capable of supporting yourself.
(oh or if you are like <1
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please dont assume every family is like your family. If you are not a little prince or princess yourself, you can rest assure that your kids will not be like one unless you spoil them yourself.Originally posted by Kan_i:AGAIN you dodge the question of whether or not to have kids....
LOL yeah ok you let your parents take care of your children... you will see how a little "prince" or "princess" they are.
Grandparents will undermine your authority and spoil your child. Buying them gifts tell, you off if they cry or disciplining them.
Besides if you ask some grand parents they want their freedom to play with children and then give them back... (and no this is not gossip)
You guys are lucky in that you can hire a maid to help look after child or even take over whole responsibility. lol my SO would sure go for that. -
you mean you actually support a small kid thats 18.001 years old to have a kid??? assuming hte kid has just enuff money to survive withthe kid?Originally posted by Kan_i:well you must have balance...
rembering it is far easier to be fearful that you will fail as a parent than succeed...
so i am batting for the "Have a child" side tonight.
the only time i would agree and say no to having a child is if you are not financially capable of supporting yourself.
(oh or if you are like <1 -
have kids..why not..if only i can claim that for my national service..knn..
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Erm... it's not about 'winning'.Originally posted by ^spidee^:Say, if this were a debate, which side would win? Probably the side that wants kids, cos they'll be viewed as more humane, loving and selfless. On the other hand, those who don't wanna have kids raise very relevant points, like not being able to provide for their kids, and not wanting their kids to suffer in the harsh environment that is Singapore.
Personally, I'd love to have my own kids (this is coming from a 20 year old guy). Not because I want to fulfill my part in serving 'National Service', not because I want to carry on my family line (not entirely anyway), but because giving life to another is one of the greatest acts of love displayed by two people in love.
I am grateful that my parents gave me a chance to be in this beautiful world, and that is all that matters. It's just a discussion. 
Sometimes, you only get to see the shortcomings in your own opinions when you read others' viewpoints. And, you always learn from others' perceptions... well, not everyone, but those who make sense.
And yeah, I'm grateful to mom, but don't think I can do what she did, so better be childless!
All said, I'll be very happy if my sis-in-law gets pregnant and I become an aunt! I'll sure spoil the child one!
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give the child diabates and cancers!!Originally posted by Rhonda:Erm... it's not about 'winning'. It's just a discussion.
Sometimes, you only get to see the shortcomings in your own opinions when you read others' viewpoints. And, you always learn from others' perceptions... well, not everyone, but those who make sense.
And yeah, I'm grateful to mom, but don't think I can do what she did, so better be childless!
All said, I'll be very happy if my sis-in-law gets pregnant and I become an aunt! I'll sure spoil the child one! -
that's true.. with the standard of living at such an exorbitant level, raising children is something that perhaps only the affluent can afford.. that and the problem of an ageing population, which will probably turn into a vicious cycle until one day, Singaporeans might just become extinct..Originally posted by hisoka:if this was a debate i guess the side that wins will be the side which the judge sides since both sides have arguments(benefits/disadvantages) that are not measurable.
don't get me wrong, i'm not against having kids but only if one can afford ot. like having the temperament and ability to herd/control/nuture/etc the kids and the ability to give them a good life. as some one said why bring a child in to suffer? -
it is your responsibility to make sure you dont let that happen, not your parents. some parents might not be educated, but they are not stupid.Originally posted by elindra:Have you ever seen kids spolit by their grandparents? They are Also grandparents might just give in to the child without thinking if it is good or bad for them.
I ended up with extremely bad bronchitis as a child coz my grandpa kept feeding me ice-creams....a few cones everyday Not that I'm blaming him or anything. I love him but being his favourite grandchild had that set-back -
Oh no, don't get me wrong, I absolutely understand and believe the points of views raised by both sides, because they are what the reality portrays.Originally posted by Rhonda:Erm... it's not about 'winning'. It's just a discussion.
Sometimes, you only get to see the shortcomings in your own opinions when you read others' viewpoints. And, you always learn from others' perceptions... well, not everyone, but those who make sense.
And yeah, I'm grateful to mom, but don't think I can do what she did, so better be childless!
All said, I'll be very happy if my sis-in-law gets pregnant and I become an aunt! I'll sure spoil the child one!
It is a tragedy though, that the chances and conditions of raising children in Singapore are just not good enough. -
i was not a little prince (middle children are never little prince lol)Originally posted by Gazelle:please dont assume every family is like your family. If you are not a little prince or princess yourself, you can rest assure that your kids will not be like one unless you spoil them yourself.
but i can tell you unless you have absolutely no love for your child you will spoil them in some way in the eyes of others.
I pity any kid who lives in a militant household.
No i do not believe that a person < 18 should have a child. -
Easier said then doneOriginally posted by Gazelle:it is your responsibility to make sure you dont let that happen, not your parents. some parents might not be educated, but they are not stupid.
Trust me I've seen that with my own eyes
Parents are strict and all
But Grandparents spoil the kids
And kids being intelligent sure know how to create a huge scene
Everytime they leave their grandparents place, it sounds like my cousin is torturing them -
i think you need to either tell us your "game plan for controlling a kid" orOriginally posted by Gazelle:it is your responsibility to make sure you dont let that happen, not your parents. some parents might not be educated, but they are not stupid.
admit you have no idea how grandparents manipulate the child -
Soooo true!!Originally posted by ^spidee^:Oh no, don't get me wrong, I absolutely understand and believe the points of views raised by both sides, because they are what the reality portrays.
It is a tragedy though, that the chances and conditions of raising children in Singapore are just not good enough.
I guess if 9-to-5 jobs were really that, and if the cost of living wasn't so high, more couples would feel more upbeat about having kids.
Afterall, if you're already stressed and working long hours, and worrying over the monthly bills, I don't think you'd relish the idea of being a parent. Well, can't speak for everyone, but I know I would!