Management Jargon *lol* in Job Ads
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Net BUZZ
About those Help Wanted ads...
March 15, 2006
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,103470,00.html?
Competitive salary: We pay less than our competitors.
Join our fast-paced company: We have no time to train you.
Casual work atmosphere: We don't pay enough to expect you to dress up.
Must be deadline-oriented: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
Some overtime required: Some overtime each night and each weekend.
Duties will vary: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
Must have an eye for detail: We have no quality control.
Career-minded: Female applicants must be childless (and stay that way).
Apply in person: If you're old, fat or ugly, you'll be told the position has been filled.
No phonecalls please: We've filled the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
Seeking candidates with a variety of work experiences: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
Problem-solving skills a must: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
Requires team leadership skills: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.
Good communications skills: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
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Can't help but think of the truth behind it
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this reminds me of the book i'm reading.. in there, the guy examines the Real Estate Agent..
along the way, a few terms came up... there are correlations to higher and lower prices of the houses..
Higher:
Granite
State-of-the-art
Corian
Maple
Gourmet
Lower:
Fantastic
Spacious
!
Charming
Great Neighbourhood
(even the exclamation mark.. a false sense of enthusiasm)
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Originally posted by elindra:
Ahhh...I can identify with that line the most.
[b]Net BUZZ
About those Help Wanted ads...
March 15, 2006
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,103470,00.html?
Good communications skills: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can't help but think of the truth behind it
[/b]
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actually, management (tries) communication.. they mutter something.. some kinda motherhood statement...
then you try to come up with something fitting the totally vague and ambiguous statement...
and if it's good, the management takes credit for it..
if it isn't, you're sent back to try and make it sound for for them to take credit for it
overall, everyone tries and it's very trying
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This article is really funny! Y'know, there's lots of truth behind the interpretation! 
And here's one to add to that list, something I used to tell my HR colleagues : "Teamwork - I play team, you do all the work!" -
Freakconomics ???Originally posted by the Bear:this reminds me of the book i'm reading.. in there, the guy examines the Real Estate Agent..
along the way, a few terms came up... there are correlations to higher and lower prices of the houses..
Higher:
Granite
State-of-the-art
Corian
Maple
Gourmet
Lower:
Fantastic
Spacious
!
Charming
Great Neighbourhood
(even the exclamation mark.. a false sense of enthusiasm) -
Think I saw this somewhere.