On the Persistence of (Some) Human Habits...
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Driving home earlier on, exhausted after a Final Presentation discussion... brain numbed from creating ideas, and irritated with the fact that humans have a tendency to be fickle, to not know what they want, and to always be influenced by too many people. It got me thinking - why is it that people often do not trust their own judgement? Is it a lack of confidence? Or merely just a force of habit?
Everyone is different, when we lay to slumber we visualize different things, dreams, and nightmares. These force-filled images have the power to hinder or inspire the trek down life's path. But where do these sparks derive their seemingly infinite power, our imaginations do require energy. The power to choose, to be, to do, to create the traits that of which make us as humans the "most" intelligent. Members of our society, humanity of course, have arisen and achieved awe-inspiring feats of intellectual achievements. These ideas have brought us both happiness and suffering: Nuclear Theory / Atom- Bomb, Gun Powder / Lethal Projectiles, Vaccines / Bio-Chemical Weapons, Schools / Jails, War / Freedom, Ethics / Justice.
No man is lesser than another, no man is smarter than another, some are born with a natural insight or ability to ease unscathed through life, and others have to attain it. We must always remember that we have potential to achieve more, but we must ask ourselves, "what is it that we truly want"?
Why is it that some people let society rule their choices? Is it truly easier to go along with the voice of the majority... even at the expense of sacrificing your own happiness and beliefs? Is it absolutely necessary to laugh along with the rest of the crowd when deep inside, your heart breaks? Is there really safety in numbers? Do you worry about being an outcast if you let your true feelings of non conformity shine through?
Why are we so afraid to be honest and true to ourselves? -
i think most (not all) would feel the need to conform and not become outcast. .its a basic need to belong and not be too aloof and distinct..Originally posted by BabyRS:Why is it that some people let society rule their choices? Is it truly easier to go along with the voice of the majority... even at the expense of sacrificing your own happiness and beliefs? Is it absolutely necessary to laugh along with the rest of the crowd when deep inside, your heart breaks? Is there really safety in numbers? Do you worry about being an outcast if you let your true feelings of non conformity shine through?
Why are we so afraid to be honest and true to ourselves?
despite this i believe each man/ woman should have a basic set of principles that he/she should stand firm for and not bow to any pressure to bend those set of principles.. if we are forced to conform to a set of belifs that has betrayed those principles.. then i would feel there is a problem..
hence i think the issue you raised can be broken down into 2 aspects..
1. The basic need to conform (i m not sure if its a basic need.. but i recall that this was in maslow' Hierarchy of needs)
2. Your individual principles (dealing with being honest and true to ourselves).. -
somehow, group dynamics in the classical sense of management theory, will breed groupthink.. i figure everyone knows about that so i won't go into it... each actually think they're doing the right thing
i was watching a silly show... the whole group was going "yeah! yeah!!" ... however, each and every one, was thinking in their hearts: no... this cannot be...
this is very different from groupthink, yet both processes come to the same result...
sometimes, being in a group, one stops thinking like an individual and starts to modify their thinking to "what the group wants"... i guess it is peer pressure of some sort...
how many have the courage to go their own way no matter what the group says, if they know in their hearts it is right? it is a thing that at work, sometimes we have no choice but to do the wrong thing, but how many of us actually tell the boss that you think it's wrong? or just smile quietly and say you agree that the plan is right and then go do the wrong thing?
then there's the way things are run... because from my experience, it doesn't matter if you have the moral courage to tell your boss it's wrong... in doing that, you are, in fact, carrying out your responsibilities as the officer of the organisation, but you'll be seen as a quarrelsome, disagreeable and maybe even a loose cannon...
sycophants, on the other hand, become the pets of the bigwigs and rise through the ranks quickly.. and because of their character, the senior management become filled with sycophants..
so, very Darwinian, very Machiavellian, people become more and more like those who will not be true to themselves, and slowly but surely, people out there stop thinking and lose that ability to "trust their own guts and listen to their own conscience", while those who do will be shunted out and marginalised..
sadly, it sounds kinda silly, but at work, no good deed goes unpunished...
sometimes you gotta be a glutton for punishment if you want to sleep well at night
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Well, the abilene paradox is well and truly alive at my workplace. At no time is it more apparent than during AAR meetings. Then you have people going "uh..actually I didn't want to do that at the time but..."
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The more people agree upon and share a particular view or idea, the more difficult it is for others to be influenced - and it will also be more difficult for people who have already accepted the notion to reject it and be open to other views.Originally posted by the Bear:somehow, group dynamics in the classical sense of management theory, will breed groupthink.. i figure everyone knows about that so i won't go into it... each actually think they're doing the right thing
i was watching a silly show... the whole group was going "yeah! yeah!!" ... however, each and every one, was thinking in their hearts: no... this cannot be...
this is very different from groupthink, yet both processes come to the same result...
sometimes, being in a group, one stops thinking like an individual and starts to modify their thinking to "what the group wants"... i guess it is peer pressure of some sort...
how many have the courage to go their own way no matter what the group says, if they know in their hearts it is right? it is a thing that at work, sometimes we have no choice but to do the wrong thing, but how many of us actually tell the boss that you think it's wrong? or just smile quietly and say you agree that the plan is right and then go do the wrong thing?
then there's the way things are run... because from my experience, it doesn't matter if you have the moral courage to tell your boss it's wrong... in doing that, you are, in fact, carrying out your responsibilities as the officer of the organisation, but you'll be seen as a quarrelsome, disagreeable and maybe even a loose cannon...
sycophants, on the other hand, become the pets of the bigwigs and rise through the ranks quickly.. and because of their character, the senior management become filled with sycophants..
so, very Darwinian, very Machiavellian, people become more and more like those who will not be true to themselves, and slowly but surely, people out there stop thinking and lose that ability to "trust their own guts and listen to their own conscience", while those who do will be shunted out and marginalised..
sadly, it sounds kinda silly, but at work, no good deed goes unpunished...
sometimes you gotta be a glutton for punishment if you want to sleep well at night
The pressures of society is one very fine example of the "conformity Pressure". It is tough to be a non-conformist - and not many people are willing to subject themselves to the constant (and often unkind) scrutiny of the general public with regard to their actions / personality which are not run of the mill. It takes a strong person to swim against the current... and not many would; often sacrificing their original perceptions and beliefs in the face of acceptance. Social rejection can be a powerful detterent.
I've always been "different" from young... I've never liked the things girls hanker for - (I think Barbie is a study of stupidity in plastic)... preferring to bury my nose in books as opposed to giggling in a darkened theatre. Mom was worried I'd end up a recluse, but she got even more worried when I totally ran afoul of the norm.
I've always been an extremist; things are either done - or not done at all. I've never felt the need to follow the latest fad, opting to always dress in what I'm comfortable with. And just because 80% of society feel strongly about certain things does not mean I'll nod along with the pack; I would only adhere to my beliefs.
For all these and more... I have endured loud whispers, accusing stares and exclusions throughout most of my life. It's never bothered me so much that I'd bow down to conformity, perhaps because I have always been what I am - and I do not go against the flow just for the sake of being different. As far as I'm concerned, I am what I am; and what I do is *MY* acceptable view of the "norm". Who is to decide what is right and what is wrong anyhow? Who can dictate our lives better than ourselves?
I am answerable for my own behaviour and beliefs.
They are what makes me, me.
However, I would have to agree that at work, most of us (just for survival sakes) would have no choice but to go along with the pack, especially if your job involves the co-operation of a group of individuals. I think most of us are fully aware that it is practically impossible to adopt a 'whatever *I* say goes - the rest can go where the sun don't shine' attitude. Not only will that jeopardise your standing, it is also much easier to get work done when you show respect and are respected by your fellow colleagues. Compromising would mean adherence to the flow... and in these cases, no matter how 'rebellious' one is; when the alternative leaves much to be desired - it's understandable to make exceptions.
I work in the advertising/print media industry. For those who are familiar with the nature of the job, if I were to always go along with what I deem is the most effective way to market a product... I can take an extended vacation - at least until i decide to change my line of work completely. I am faced with the most demanding clients, the most fickle, and the most ridiculous requests everyday. Sometimes it is hard to make people visualise a certain project without a hard copy to back your explanations - and it's taken me a lot of tongue biting to smile, walk away and re-do the project as per what was initially suggested (but since they are paying the bills - rejected in favour of their usually radical ideas).
I suppose we will never be completely free of the hold of society in our lives as long as we live, work and play in a community. It's a bitter pill to swallow for some of us... but nonetheless, a necessary compliance in our lives. -
My time is limited, so i dont waste it living someone else's life.
Dont be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of
other people's thinking. Dont let the noise of others' opinions
drown out your own inner voice. Have the courage to follow
your heart and intuition. -
1. It doesn't mean that if you go along with the majority, you are not making a choiceOriginally posted by BabyRS:Why is it that some people let society rule their choices? Is it truly easier to go along with the voice of the majority... even at the expense of sacrificing your own happiness and beliefs? Is it absolutely necessary to laugh along with the rest of the crowd when deep inside, your heart breaks? Is there really safety in numbers? Do you worry about being an outcast if you let your true feelings of non conformity shine through?
Why are we so afraid to be honest and true to ourselves?
2. It doesn't mean that if you make a choice to follow the majority, you will be unhappy
3. Non conformity is very often over-idealised.
I think I am generally a very passive person. Unless the issue is REALLY worth asserting through the whole way, I am mostly apathetic to it. And most issues that arise from 80% of how we spend our time -i.e. at work - simply aren't worth it.
Let's look at work - a lot of the issues are trivial if you think about it. People argue about formats/templates/colours - HOW a thing should be done. But seriously, what is there to argue about? I may like something MORE but doesn't mean someone else's choice is wrong. Someone wants to do it another way - does the majority think it meets the objective? If it does, then it really doesn't matter whether it has to be done MY way. (of course, secretly I think my way is better.. hurhur.. but..) It doesn't matter!
People may have issues about work distribution/allocation/ blah blah... it doesn't matter. Some people want to arrow me to do things.. ok loh.. got time do loh.. no time just say loh. Most of the time I am too lazy emotionally to get too worked up. Sure I complain to friends but that's just kind of fun purging.
There are people who think this is right.. there are people who think that is wrong. As they say, a billion types of people eat the same type of rice. What makes me so certain that everyone else is wrong, and I am right? Sure, I will offer my Point of View
but if most people disagree with it, then so be it. I think one can be comfortable with one's own individuality without needing to assert it on other people.
I am talking, of course of 80% of issues that arise in daily life. There are of course, the 20% of issues that contest our value system, that will challenge the very moral and ethical platform where, as in individual we stand, that unless we are prepared to do a paradigm shift with our values, it is very difficult for us to remain silent and accept it. Unless it is really an issue like that - then yes - it is time to make a stand.
But it is equally impt to pick your battles and not make every single issue a challenge to yourself. -
It really depends on what you think your work is about? Is it about creativity or is it about providing good service? I think creativity without parameters should be left to artists.Originally posted by BabyRS:I work in the advertising/print media industry. For those who are familiar with the nature of the job, if I were to always go along with what I deem is the most effective way to market a product... I can take an extended vacation - at least until i decide to change my line of work completely. I am faced with the most demanding clients, the most fickle, and the most ridiculous requests everyday. Sometimes it is hard to make people visualise a certain project without a hard copy to back your explanations - and it's taken me a lot of tongue biting to smile, walk away and re-do the project as per what was initially suggested (but since they are paying the bills - rejected in favour of their usually radical ideas).
I suppose we will never be completely free of the hold of society in our lives as long as we live, work and play in a community. It's a bitter pill to swallow for some of us... but nonetheless, a necessary compliance in our lives.
In the commercial creative industry - creativity will ALWAYS be and is aligned to a set of parameters AND service. Which means, you provide the most creative AND effective ways to manage your task within the parameters that your client sets - simply because without your client you have no work. It is very difficult - but especially in an industry where your product is very much a part of yourself (your ideas/your creativity/your input) - it is important to accept rejection of your product without taking it as a rejection of who you are.
Many who work in this industry tend to be very immersed in the inspirational/research/creative/productive part of their work without remembering that part of the creative process is ALSO projection/reflection/amendment/feedback. If your projection of your ideas is unable to assist your client to visualise it - whose shortcoming is it? Unfair/Unreasonable/Difficult clients are part of the job - it always is. But i think before we judge, it is important to think how much we contribute to the way the client respond to us.
Humility does not compromise principles. Marketing/Design/advertising is to understand the masses, the way they think, how to meet their needs. A chair can be extremely creative - but it must first cater to the masses' requirement of being about to sit on it.