The Banana
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The steady hum of the machines beckon.
My footsteps echo as I walk into the cavernous room… it’s freezing cold here. Looking around, the old man waves an almost happy hello to me, and flashes me a toothless grin. I return his greeting – I am always happy to see him. He has worked for the company for a long time, with a wealth of experience that no amount of textbooks could ever teach anyone. Fingers discoloured from the inkwells, his shirts always look as if they were artistically tie-dyed. His grasp of the English language is minimal… enough to at least hold a barely decipherable conversation with me; it is almost comical.
Blame me for being a Chinese, looking like a Chinese… and not being able to read, write or understand the language. You may even have been guilty of calling those like me a 'banana'. Yellow on the outside, white on the inside. Lots of people deem me to be 'arrogant' - too caught up in ‘Western Ideas’; so much so that I would denounce my heritage. If they actually bother (or even have the opportunity to) enquire with me, they would realise that I actually am more compliant to Eastern values than perhaps the overseas educated Chinese who is still 'reluctantly' able to understand Chinese. None of my ex-boyfriends were Caucasians - in fact, honestly, my close friends and family are worried I may end up with one due to the fact that I totally write the 'ang mo' off any option I'm open to, as a partner. I'm not racist in any way... I am more inclined to the Asian man.
It’s human nature, isn't it? To immediately point and accuse without even bothering to investigate the real reason why. If some of then had even bothered to ask, I would gladly tell them why. My ancestors, coming from China and settling in Indonesia, came to the country during a time when the Chinese language was ‘verboten’. The Chinese had to change their names to Indonesian ones, speak the language… basically short of denouncing their heritage. Post WWII – my grandfather married a Dutch girl – my Granny (whom I love to bits and still miss to this very day)… and the entire clan thus evolved speaking Indonesian, with a smattering of Dutch.
When my family migrated to Singapore in 1982, we still had the option to choose what we preferred as a 2nd Language, regardless of our race. Since Indonesian is very much similar to Malay, and my parents thought that it would make the transition so much easier, I studied Malay in school - which on hindsight was actually a mistake; since I already am proficient in the language. It wouldÂ’ve served me well to have taken Chinese insteadÂ… being Tri-lingual is definitely a much better option. Furthermore, it would save me the dirty looks I always get now!
Perhaps a befitting description for me thenÂ… the banana is. At least when it comes to the: think in English, Speak EnglishÂ… and write in English part. I have ceased to get affected by the next person who tells me off in disbelief: "Ha?? You Chinese, cannot speak Chinese, ah? Sure or not? Or you too proud to speak Chinese issit?" *said with a look of disdain and scorn*
All other factors remaining constant, of course.
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*pat pat*
as a potato, i know how u feel
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Well, sue this baba here...we and our relatives speak English (and a little Malay) at home. It's my comfort zone and I'm not making any excuses for not signing up for extra classes, watching Channel 8/U or reading the Chinese newspapers.
I choose the values I wish to follow based on their merit, and not on the colour of my skin. I try to keep myself informed about my Peranakan culture as much as I can. I have no qualms about taking a white girl to be my partner.
If the situation calls for it, I do use Mandarin. My grasp of it has been weakened due to my lack of usage and exposure, but my situation doesn't call for me to brush up on it yet. However I ensure that I speak and write proper English, because I use it more often, and I need to be understood by people from several different countries.Originally posted by BabyRS:Blame me for being a Chinese, looking like a Chinese… and not being able to read, write or understand the language. You may even have been guilty of calling those like me a 'banana'. Yellow on the outside, white on the inside. Lots of people deem me to be 'arrogant' - too caught up in ‘Western Ideas’; so much so that I would denounce my heritage.
If they actually bother (or even have the opportunity to) enquire with me, they would realise that I actually am more compliant to Eastern values than perhaps the overseas educated Chinese who is still 'reluctantly' able to understand Chinese. None of my ex-boyfriends were Caucasians - in fact, honestly, my close friends and family are worried I may end up with one due to the fact that I totally write the 'ang mo' off any option I'm open to, as a partner. I'm not racist in any way... I am more inclined to the Asian man.
ItÂ’s human nature, isn't it? To immediately point and accuse without even bothering to investigate the real reason why. If some of then had even bothered to ask, I would gladly tell them why.
Perhaps a befitting description for me thenÂ… the banana is. At least when it comes to the: think in English, Speak EnglishÂ… and write in English part. I have ceased to get affected by the next person who tells me off in disbelief: "Ha?? You Chinese, cannot speak Chinese, ah? Sure or not? Or you too proud to speak Chinese issit?" *said with a look of disdain and scorn*
All other factors remaining constant, of course. -
At least you still have that option...Originally posted by Kuali Baba:If the situation calls for it, I do use Mandarin. My grasp of it has been weakened due to my lack of usage and exposure, but my situation doesn't call for me to brush up on it yet.
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Well, I can certainly empathise with you.
Same scenario, except that my roots are a mix of Sabah/Brunei and we do not speak Mandarin, but rather, a Malaysianised form of Hokkien with smatters of Malay in our speech.Only my mother in our extended family could speak Mandarin, through extra classes as in high school over there.
Well, that's my maternal roots.My paternal ones are what you would call King's Chinese in the olden days, my grandfather being one of the first few batches to study at ACS back in Amoy Street. He took Malay, my folks there took Malay as both it and English were the backbone of administration under the colonial government.
So here I am now,proficient in English and Hokkien, perfectly at home in this area of the world, loving Borneo with a comfort and ease many Singaporeans would not find it easy.I laugh deep inside when I try to ease my way by using Hokkien at the market, hawker centers or taxi rides, and I get mistaken for Indo-Chinese.In fact, if my suspicions are correct, most of such people who are monolingual, do have the experience of chapel service and the colours of blue and gold as a student when young
Call me a banana, it's my heritage after all.I'm proud to be who I am, and I proudly proclaim I am not a pure Chinese in all sense of the word. I am a son of the soil, the Straits soil.And when you have an extended family who has stretched its roots into Edinburgh and Canberra, ethnically and racially speaking, what better way to advocate and teach my younger nieces and nephews that tolerance and acceptance is a way of life in the family.
I -
hey baby
i look at it this way, we are who we are, and if society seeks to name us things, why should we care? for ultimately, if we are good, that's all that matters
i can barely speak mandarin.. some say it's due to being typical of the schools i went to (infamous for producing monolingual students), some say i'm stubborn, snobbish and all that banana thing...
however, if they wanted to know the truth, they would find something which was terrible in the way chinese was taught, and the attitudes of the chinese teachers then... but i won't want to go into that part of my life...
so, now i'm an effectively monolingual person, who can't read chinese, stutter my way through mandarin, and accused of being a banana...
however, i don't fit into that either.. i don't fit into the "typical asian" mold, i don't fit into the "banana" mold, i don't fit into the "ang moh" mold... i dunno what the heck i am actually...
so, to prevent insanity, i stopped trying to find that.. i'm just me.. some find it disconcerting that they cannot label me, some just say "hey, it's just him"..
but in there, because i cannot be labelled or anything, i guess i never actually felt that "i belong" anywhere.. i'm tolerated, but not part of..
the values i hold come from a mish-mash of my traditional chinese background, some things which i hold dear, some religious beliefs, and some commonsensical things... there is no strictly "asian values", or "western values" or "catholic values" which i can be identified with...
and all this from a weakness in a language which is associated with my ethnic group...
oh man.. i'm messed up -
ummm... a bear?Originally posted by the Bear:hey baby
however, i don't fit into that either.. i don't fit into the "typical asian" mold, i don't fit into the "banana" mold, i don't fit into the "ang moh" mold... i dunno what the heck i am actually...
But yes, you're right. I'm not so much bothered by what people think or say about me per se; rather it's just the general attitude of the society. They are so quick to judge (Yes, I have been accused of not speaking Chinese because I'm too proud to) - and assume that just because one looks a certain way, then that person is expected to be that way.
Stereotype at its' best.
I came from a school which is notorious(!) for producing students of a certain 'persona' as well... and as far back as I can recall, when almost 90% of the students, regardless of their race - speak in English (even during 2nd language lessons), it is tough to actually break away from that mould.
I have long ceased to worry about people's perception of me... I have realised that even if we argue with the opinion of the majority that we should find it in ourselves to make an effort to learn the language till the cows come home - we should not bow down to the requirement and expectations of society just to 'fit in'. Believe me, I've tried taking lessons, intensive, comprehensive and explored all avenues in the process, but my teachers have all but given up on me. The pronounciation, the intonation - and the actual ability to grasp the language does not even come close to the barest minimal!
So... I shall go on the 'path least travelled'(?) and be comfortable with who I am. After all, it is pretty senseless to just adhere to the norm to please every other person on the street at my expense.
Oh - btw, I am pretty proficient in the evilly 'profound' words, though. In every dialect imaginable.
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As long as we are true to ourselves, why should we bother about what others have to say.
Perhaps this "handicap" allowed us a more heightened sensitivity to the differences in this world, because we have been forced to confront a monolithic impression and expectation of our skin colur since young, and yet we have managed to see beyond all of that.
Live hard and prosper along.
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aha... welcome to club 30.. where you're accepted as you are, no matter the race, creed, whatever
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'Originally posted by the Bear:aha... welcome to club 30.. where you're accepted as you are, no matter the race, creed, whatever
and age? -
a prime criteria is the waist size ....Originally posted by BabyRS:'
and age? 
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well, we've got a few si ginas who are still in school, to an old and decrepit bear like me who is twice their age
yes.. and age
Originally posted by BabyRS:'
and age? -
That's very true. Out of this 'imperfection', perhaps we have trained ourselves unconsciously to hone other values within ourselves that we may have not had the opportunity to, otherwise.Originally posted by LazerLordz:As long as we are true to ourselves, why should we bother about what others have to say.
Perhaps this "handicap" allowed us a more heightened sensitivity to the differences in this world, because we have been forced to confront a monolithic impression and expectation of our skin colur since young, and yet we have managed to see beyond all of that.
Live hard and prosper along.
I know for a fact that it has made me more tolerant (no less of a sceptic, but more forgiving ), and it has also made me more aware of how others think, feel and behave to a particular something that they may not be familiar with or bewilder them. It's also opened my eyes to how people react in the face of adversity, and what they would perceive as 'not acceptable to the norm'.
Some people scoff at it,
Some would just be totally nonchalant about it -
Whilst others would try to force their beliefs down your throats.
We can only make a wild guess at what their real intentions may be.
But it's nice to know that I'm not the only one in this 'prodigal' mould. Thank you. -
decrepit bears do not go on glutton festivals.Originally posted by the Bear:well, we've got a few si ginas who are still in school, to an old and decrepit bear like me who is twice their age
yes.. and age -
hmm..... i must confess.... i came from a very 'cheena' family..... parents do not have formal education.... so, very mandarin n hokkien speaking family..... i couldnt speak any english at all when i started primary school.... had a tough time in school.... still remembered that i went back home crying and telling my mum that i dont want to go to school anymore cos i dont know what the teachers are talking about! hmm.... a real struggle for me in school... the english educational system.... i m just lucky in the sense that i m always able to pass my exams quite above average.... dunno why, went into a very ang moh JC.... piang... worst time of my life.... thought i wanted to 'improve' my english and also get to know 'another culture'.... but... ddin enjoy it at all.... GP lessons were hell for me... GP tutor seemed to pick on me.... especially on my pronounciation..... argh.... i started to somehow dislike 'bananas'.... started to 'anti-westernisation'..... refused to go backpacking to ang moh countries... dun want to put myself in a position to be discriminated.... and proud to speak, write and know chinese... history, culture etc.... cant really understand why a chinese cannot even speak mandarin!Originally posted by the Bear:i look at it this way, we are who we are, and if society seeks to name us things, why should we care? for ultimately, if we are good, that's all that matters
i can barely speak mandarin.. some say it's due to being typical of the schools i went to (infamous for producing monolingual students), some say i'm stubborn, snobbish and all that banana thing...
however, if they wanted to know the truth, they would find something which was terrible in the way chinese was taught, and the attitudes of the chinese teachers then... but i won't want to go into that part of my life
but well... ha.... guess i grew up and became less extreme.... got to know friends who came from english speaking family... and i started to understand their difficulties in learning mandarin/chinese in such an environment.... and also, the kind of 'discrimination' they got from their chinese teachers..... chinese is not an easy language..... i realise that at the end of it, 'respect' is the word.... whether u 'channel 5' or 'channel 8', as long as u respect who i m, i respect who u r..... so, as long as one does not 'despise' his/her own roots, i think it is all right..... there are so many ABCs and BBCs.... they cant speak mandarin at all.... but they do not deny or hate the fact that they are ethnically 'chinese'...... in fact, they are still very 'traditional' in their values.... chinese kids just seem to b better behaved here....
i m still very surprised that i m now living n working in an ang moh country!!! piang.... destiny or ?? -
That's right.
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I think I may starve if I had to move to China...Originally posted by sacredspirits:i m still very surprised that i m now living n working in an ang moh country!!! piang.... destiny or ?? 
Kudos to you for adapting, adjusting and accepting. We all know its never easy attempting to learn or understand languages - especially those as complex as English and Chinese.
The intonations in the Chinese language must be used appropriately if you do not want to risk getting the occassional slap or two.
As for the English language - where do I even begin? The complexities of the usage is enough to drive a person bonkers... not to mention the correct usage of nouns, verbs and tenses.
Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? Boggles the mind. -
being a banana is fun man..
in singapore here,there're many people like us..
heck just go to ACS,we're the banana family.. -
the chinese language is about as complex as the english language...
thing is, people who are proficient in either, may not have the values which are associated with the languages... the one who is proficient in chinese, may not have traditional chinese values... just like the one who is proficient in the english language, may not hold the "western values" in high regard..
like baby said, stereotypes...
don't fall for them -
sbst was from ACS, but does he appear like a banana to you?Originally posted by stellazio:being a banana is fun man..
in singapore here,there're many people like us..
heck just go to ACS,we're the banana family.. He sure doesn't to me, right, sbst? -
aiyah that bus,probaly got influenced by his surrounding..Originally posted by Rhonda:sbst was from ACS, but does he appear like a banana to you? He sure doesn't to me, right, sbst? -
And the rest of the Convent Schools too...Originally posted by stellazio:being a banana is fun man..
in singapore here,there're many people like us..
heck just go to ACS,we're the banana family..
We can even group together and become a small state by ourselves - kinda like the Vatican City... -
.. curiouser and curiouser
sounds like baby's from one of the schools set up by the Catholic missionaries -
I think I'm neither here nor there, so what does that make me? Some weed?!
I was brought up by grandma, who was conservative. However, from a young age, I was the product of a dual-income household and was constantly torn between staying with my grandma or going home with my parents because after they had finished dinner at grandma's, they would usually head home. I was always torn... wanting to follow them home, then when we reached the ground floor, I'd cry and want my grandma instead, etc etc.
Coming from a rather conservative upbringing, who would have expected that at Primary 3, I became a latchkey kid! And what's more, I was tasked with taking care of my younger brother as well, and had to cook for the both of us. That was liberating and my first taste of how independant I could be!
My group of friends were those who always adhered to 'the good ol' values' and none of us grew up doing anything too outrageous and wild. Even if we had the opportunities to do so, somehow, our internal moral compass would pull us away from reckless abandon. Oddly enough, in my time, that was considered 'gwai'. In this day and age, we'd probably be mocked at.
Being in ACJC broadened my horizon. Suddenly, I met people from other social classes, ie. the Upper Middle and Upper classes, when all the while, my classmates were of the Lower or Lower Middle or Middle class. We were the SBS lot and now, amongst my classmates were the personal chauffeur-driven lot with their Beemers, Merz and etc.
Suddenly, our tutors encouraged us to voice our opinions, even if we disagreed with them!
It was an eye-opener to me, but I got over that shock quickly and very soon, from a meek voice when I raised my hand to express an opinion that was different from everyone else's, I graduated to speaking out with more confidence. It was a new 'playground' for me and I enjoyed my two years in ACJC very very much!
And then, when I entered the working world, I joined an American MNC that had a large percentage of expatriates from the US, Europe, UK, Australia, and all parts of S.E. Asia. We were like a mini UN! I had a culture shock at first, cause the working style was very Americanised. Slowly, I acclimatised to this new environment, got assimilated in it and even started to thrive in it.
So, I'm not quite your typical banana, and I won't profess to be so. I don't even know what I am!
However, I won't bother with classifications because nobody ever falls neatly into just ONE category. We're all products of the experiences we've gone through, exposure we had, chances we were given, opportunities we have taken, and we're each and everyone of us, a unique amalgamation of all that.
Sometimes, my stand can be so liberal, I shock myself. At other times, I'm so conservative and narrow-minded, I embarrass myself. But whatever it is, I'm just being me, the extremely confused and non-pedigreed banana! -
it's always been a worldwide network of likeminded people with the same life experiences and outlook.Originally posted by the Bear:.. curiouser and curiouser
sounds like baby's from one of the schools set up by the Catholic missionaries
SCRUM anyone?