Can a guy be too nice?
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haizOriginally posted by elindra:I want a guy who can match me emotionally and mentally
He has to be engaging enough to keep me interested.
Had my fair share of nice guys and bad guys
My SO falls in the cat where he is nice but can be bad
life is hard lar.
seen so many good guys kena play out liao..
who really wants to be a good guy nowdays?
imagine a good guy doing all his best in the end lost everything, -
Just wondering if they are really anymore nice girl left to treasure nice guys?Originally posted by BabyRS:...well?
I've often heard my buddies complaining that if they're too nice... chances are the girl would climb all over them. When they don't really care because they aren't so keen on that particular girl - the reverse happens.
I have to admit I've had my 'bad boy' phase as well - the guy that mothers warned you about, and you know will eventually break your heart.
Older (but not necessarily wiser now), I wonder what is it about the nice guys that remains elusive to some? Is it the quest for excitement, the constant adrenaline rush or just a rebellious stage that we go through?
Can a guy really be too nice?
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good guy will end up being the rebound i thinkOriginally posted by drx:haiz
life is hard lar.
seen so many good guys kena play out liao..
who really wants to be a good guy nowdays?
imagine a good guy doing all his best in the end lost everything, -
That's assuming the nice guys want nice girlsOriginally posted by drx:Just wondering if they are really anymore nice girl left to treasure nice guys?
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i read from some book that is becoz
Woman are generally attracted to the ride of rollercoaster emotions ,like sadness , betrayal , misery ,happiness,ectascy etc all rolled in-to-1 , it makes them more alive coz living to them, is all abt feeling.Hence when a badboy comes into their life , they are naturely tempted by such potential emotions,why do u think woman love korean soap operas and melodramas,love novels. It makes them cry, smile and giggle. A bad guy brings out the 'woman' in them.
I have seen many examples around my life ,esp the earlier stage of our life , esp younger woman who want to experience the rollercoaster of emotions.
But we all know such emotions are short lived and after a few tries , a few years down the road , they have tried n experienced it all and ready to settle down . Hence the nice guys comes along , but at this stage most of them already married/divorced/turn gay or the rest of left on the shelf.
I have also seen cases of early marriages which resulted in the divorces, although having a endearing loving hubby , they were not able to experience enulf of the emotional upheaval becoz of their early commitment, hence a very potential break-away temptation would be there for them.
Do u know how woman masterbate? they dont have images of naked men humping etc etc like us men. BUt they visualize environment , feelings , emotions which turns them on.
So all in all, why woman cry and men lie.
But tats my 5cts worth
personal experience, my gf loves me, but treats me like dirt..coz i treat her like a princess -
PRECISELY!!!!Originally posted by choco B:That's assuming the nice guys want nice girls
Mouth say one thing, but the 2nd brain only wakes up to another thing altogether!! 
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The fundamental irony here is, that good girls don't seem to get hitched to good guys, and vice versa?
Or maybe, there are just too many delusional people around! Can talk a lot of logic, but don't really know themselves! -
Not too sure this is the right thread to say this, but once, a close guy friend of mine who's in his late 30's now, said to me that he used to sleep around, thinking that if you sleep with enough people, you might just find one who will satisfy you sexually.
But he said as he grew older, he realised that that's not true at all... it's finding one person and committing yourself to her, and then grow closer to each other, and then as you become more intimate and bonded that way, naturally, the sex will get better.
So he said, it's not about finding the 'best' mate and getting yourself in some dating frenzy trying to date as many girls as you can in the meantime, looking for the 'best'. Rather, it's finding someone 'nice', and then growing deeper in your relationship and love for each other that really makes the difference.
When he shared this with me, I was quite
... because he used to have this disreputation of sleeping around and being a huge player.
But, coming from an experienced pai kia, his words have truth in it.
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What if we decide to take a chance with a 'nice' guy after being taken on the run around by the baddie... only to have him take advantage of you?
It is an undeniable fact that the nicer a person is, the higher are the chances of him / her being taken for granted.
So we give our all to the relationship, only to have Mr.NiceGuy turn to be the devil's advocate.
It's a risk we all have to take, I guess... some people are just luckier than others.
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yah yah! lots of guys want girl next door personality but porn star body and looks!Originally posted by Rhonda:The fundamental irony here is, that good girls don't seem to get hitched to good guys, and vice versa?
Or maybe, there are just too many delusional people around! Can talk a lot of logic, but don't really know themselves! -
good guys turn to bad girls after being spurned by good girls, plus bad girls like to li siao good guys so like this lorOriginally posted by Rhonda:The fundamental irony here is, that good girls don't seem to get hitched to good guys, and vice versa?
Or maybe, there are just too many delusional people around! Can talk a lot of logic, but don't really know themselves! 
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aiyah .... in the end .... everything can be explained by the theory of sexual selection lah ...
it's all about biology .... females seek out males with certain traits that they believe, when passed onto their offsprings, will give them the best chance of survival .....
in the end, it's all about power .... in all it's manifestations .... be it money, strength, the size of the package, intelligence, aggression .... like it or not, females do seek out the alpha male in his various forms ...
so .... seeking a "bad boy" is a behavioural manifestation of the theory eh ? .... bad boys are attractive because they tickle females on that particular part of their brainstem ...
reading Darwin can be very useful and enlightening after all ... -
Sigh... depressing...
OK, maybe I'll explore erm... the 'alternative' options someday when I'm thoroughly frustrated! -
Fatum, since we're on this topic... this morning, I read in The STraits Times that a JC student killed himself by jumping off a block of flats because he thought his package was 'too small'!Originally posted by Fatum:aiyah .... in the end .... everything can be explained by the theory of sexual selection lah ...
it's all about biology .... females seek out males with certain traits that they believe, when passed onto their offsprings, will give them the best chance of survival .....
in the end, it's all about power .... in all it's manifestations .... be it money, strength, the size of the package, intelligence, aggression .... like it or not, females do seek out the alpha male in his various forms ...
so .... seeking a "bad boy" is a behavioural manifestation of the theory eh ? .... bad boys are attractive because they tickle females on that particular part of their brainstem ...
reading Darwin can be very useful and enlightening after all ... -
but with some ppl.. no matter how hard u try... u just can't get anything out of it....Originally posted by Rhonda:Not too sure this is the right thread to say this, but once, a close guy friend of mine who's in his late 30's now, said to me that he used to sleep around, thinking that if you sleep with enough people, you might just find one who will satisfy you sexually.
But he said as he grew older, he realised that that's not true at all... it's finding one person and committing yourself to her, and then grow closer to each other, and then as you become more intimate and bonded that way, naturally, the sex will get better.
So he said, it's not about finding the 'best' mate and getting yourself in some dating frenzy trying to date as many girls as you can in the meantime, looking for the 'best'. Rather, it's finding someone 'nice', and then growing deeper in your relationship and love for each other that really makes the difference.
When he shared this with me, I was quite ... because he used to have this disreputation of sleeping around and being a huge player.
But, coming from an experienced pai kia, his words have truth in it. -
well .... I think bear said it all there already .... it's Darwinism at work ...Originally posted by Rhonda:Fatum, since we're on this topic... this morning, I read in The STraits Times that a JC student killed himself by jumping off a block of flats because he thought his package was 'too small'!
but seriously, I was so struck by the implications when i first read darwin ... it seemed almost everything about human mating behavior and preferences could be explained by it ... almost, cos we all know that humans are not rational creatures .... -
I agree that some people are addicted to the thrills of a tempestuous relationship. However this is definitely NOT exclusive to the female gender. I see plenty of ku niang men around in AA.
I don't understand this need to finger-point about who's fault it is that good guys lose out, good girls not being appreciated, etcetc. What does it matter? Where does it end? Ultimately a person has to take responsibility for his or her choice in partner. It is a conscious choice and preference. Once made, just enjoy the ride lah .Originally posted by wuss:i read from some book that is becoz
Woman are generally attracted to the ride of rollercoaster emotions ,like sadness , betrayal , misery ,happiness,ectascy etc all rolled in-to-1 , it makes them more alive coz living to them, is all abt feeling.Hence when a badboy comes into their life , they are naturely tempted by such potential emotions,why do u think woman love korean soap operas and melodramas,love novels. It makes them cry, smile and giggle. A bad guy brings out the 'woman' in them. -
well...but e thing is....
nice guys always lose out in the early stages...and this really breaks them up...watchin e gal u lyk being trampled by a fooker...always losing out in relationships...not being noticed or rather as if they've nv existed...
alot of them lost faith in themselves and the opposite sex half way...or mayb to e extreme...bcum one of e baddies...
oni a small grp is left towards e end...haiz... -
this should be one of ur shortest thread so far...congrats!
phew... -
A person can be nice but that doesn't mean he or she should also be stupid, blind, misguided, boring, uninteresting, apathetic, unconcerned about appearances and basic social etiquette, unreasonably stubborn .... the list goes on..
I really think niceness itself is not the problem. -
u also finger point that u see plenty of ku niang men around in AA mahOriginally posted by choco B:I agree that some people are addicted to the thrills of a tempestuous relationship. However this is definitely NOT exclusive to the female gender. I see plenty of ku niang men around in AA.
I don't understand this need to finger-point about who's fault it is that good guys lose out, good girls not being appreciated, etcetc. What does it matter? Where does it end? Ultimately a person has to take responsibility for his or her choice in partner. It is a conscious choice and preference. Once made, just enjoy the ride lah .
anyway, u r entitled to ur opinion and so are the rest of the 'ku niang' men lor. -
can a woman be gd n bad in between times?
just like a kite that needs to be pulled n released at appropriate times in order for it to fly higher into the sky.
i prefer bad girls actually. show me a bad girl!
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i think there's no such thing as one preferring someone bad cos most of the time when one is in love, rationality rarely comes into the picture. Just as u dun need a reason to love a person. You can't see one saying " I love him deeper each day as he whips me out of shape or dripping hot candle wax every alternate hr "
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ill only be too nice if i know her long enough n can click.
if not..just nice will do
sometimes too nice also not good they tend to bully me...but..
used to it -
one man's meat is another man's poison.
what is good to u may not be good to others
ahahaha