Is love always enough?
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It's funny how sometimes it seems that fate enjoys making a sport out of all of us.
We laugh,
we cry,
we hope,
and we imagine.
We meet,
We hate...
and we fall in love.
And then somehow we chance upon a stumbling block... it's as though we can never be too happy, or too content. Perhaps we're meant to encounter the bad, so that we may appreciate the little things that make life so worthwhile.
But sometimes it hurts. It hurts to know that things cannot be the way we would like it to be, that there has to be roads to roam, mountains to climb, and obstacles to overcome. The truth always hurts.
No matter how tough we are, how resilient, and how much we believe in ourselves... there are times when the road always seems to go nowhere but up - and the hike to the top is not always accompanied with a smooth path and the sun on your shoulders. It makes me wonder - when I do get to the top, will I still have the energy left in me to enjoy and appreciate what's waiting for me? When I think back on the sacrifices, the pain and the tears that riddled the journey... will it still be worthwhile? -
karena is enough for me
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each journey is a challenge tt when lost in someway. will either steer us on the rite path for our next destination or turn us off the road to adventure altogether.
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Why do you think so many people climb mountains ?Originally posted by BabyRS:No matter how tough we are, how resilient, and how much we believe in ourselves... there are times when the road always seems to go nowhere but up - and the hike to the top is not always accompanied with a smooth path and the sun on your shoulders. It makes me wonder - when I do get to the top, will I still have the energy left in me to enjoy and appreciate what's waiting for me? When I think back on the sacrifices, the pain and the tears that riddled the journey... will it still be worthwhile?
Of course they enjoyed the whole process and better still, the end "result" of conquering the mountain. Defintely worthwhile -
I read this disturbing theory espoused in some book on relationships donkey years ago that I'm not sure is true or just a fallacy.
It states that whilst women may feel more attached to their men after weathering life's storms, some guys might actually be reminded of the unpleasant times of hardship and adversity each time they see their ladies, and in the end, the constant reminders out of sheer association proves to be so much for them that the men will end the relationship because they want a fresh, clean start!
I was much younger than and wasn't quite sure what to make of this!
I guess it depends on whether they weathered the storm well together or not. If the women proved to be incessant nags and royal pains in the place that sees no sun , then I guess they'll come out of the entire situation with much bad blood. 
But if the adversity brings out the resilient virtues of both, then I'm sure it will serve to cement the relationship rather than be the cause of its demise.
Never believe everything those books and articles on love and relationships say! -
...sometimes love is just ain't enough...
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It's about the journey not about the destination
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OK, I digressed with my earlier post but now, I'm going to take the bull by the horns!
I feel that love draws two people to journey through life hand-in-hand, not knowing what landscapes they will encounter, what storms they'll have to weather, and where the nearest oasis providing a respite from it all will be.
Despite the uncertainties, out of mutual love, no one opts to leave the other, even when the going gets real tough. This is where the 'in sickness and in health, through good times and bad' part comes in.
I guess the onus is to choose the right partner before we commit ourselves to love him/her. Some people have the depth and strength of character to walk through burning brimestone with you and you'll both come out forged in fire, stronger in your relationship. Others will whine and shuffle their feet and need to be dragged, and they'll come out at the other end disillusioned, bitter, and unwilling to continue the walk with you any further.
It pays to be prudent in choosing who we love. I used to think that we don't have a choice, that when cupid strikes, that's it, even if your match is a bad guy, you just have to grit your teeth and bear it out cause that's your lot in life. (And that's how I ended up with a pai kia in my silly younger years! )
However, I no longer think that way. I feel that whilst it may sound callous, we need to evaluate who we fall in love with, know the person's strengths and weaknesses well before we entrust our lives with him/her and embark on a journey together. Afterall, you can't put a lamb through a buffalo's paces and if you're taking the buffalo route, you'd jolly well not allow a lamb to tag along because both of you will be hindered and unhappy!
We need to evaluate with our eyes wide open because once we make that commitment, we don't turn back. Ideally.
Sometimes, love appears to be totally spontaneous and out-of-control, at other times, love appears only after careful thought and the slow and steady getting-to-know-you stage. I guess there's no one-size fits all kind of love.
To the sentimental folks, love would be all that the poets espouse it to be - a flurry of heartbeats and emotions, being swept off your feet, totally ecstatic and never humdrum. To the more 'sedate', objective-driven folks, they would view love as a steady partnership with no nasty surprises and where the typical milestones in life are experienced together. Most of us are in-between folks and we may have our very unique idea of what love really is.
Is love always enough? I feel with the right partner, yes, it can be enough.
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Rhonda...
I couldn't agree with you more.
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Love - simply and on its own- is insufficient to guarantee happiness.
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Sigh..... too tired and bleeding from climbing the mountains to add a post.
Never give up -
So what if it's and if it's not?Originally posted by BabyRS:It's funny how sometimes it seems that fate enjoys making a sport out of all of us.
We laugh,
we cry,
we hope,
and we imagine.
We meet,
We hate...
and we fall in love.
And then somehow we chance upon a stumbling block... it's as though we can never be too happy, or too content. Perhaps we're meant to encounter the bad, so that we may appreciate the little things that make life so worthwhile.
But sometimes it hurts. It hurts to know that things cannot be the way we would like it to be, that there has to be roads to roam, mountains to climb, and obstacles to overcome. The truth always hurts.
No matter how tough we are, how resilient, and how much we believe in ourselves... there are times when the road always seems to go nowhere but up - and the hike to the top is not always accompanied with a smooth path and the sun on your shoulders. It makes me wonder - when I do get to the top, will I still have the energy left in me to enjoy and appreciate what's waiting for me? When I think back on the sacrifices, the pain and the tears that riddled the journey... will it still be worthwhile? -
It makes me wonder - when I do get to the top, will I still have the energy left in me to enjoy and appreciate what's waiting for me? When I think back on the sacrifices, the pain and the tears that riddled the journey... will it still be worthwhile?
i read this and what came to mind was.. this reply..
life.. is about the journey and not the destination..
applies to many facets of life.. even to falling in love...
no doubt times will be tough.. but there are sweet moments.. what that can't break you will only make you stronger..
its not thinking of what to expect when you reach the top.. being at the top is only one point of the entire journey.. you migh as well be better off appreciating the other "points" of the whole journey, lest you get disappointed at what the final point can bring you. -
I feel the same too..Originally posted by BabyRS:No matter how tough we are, how resilient, and how much we believe in ourselves... there are times when the road always seems to go nowhere but up - and the hike to the top is not always accompanied with a smooth path and the sun on your shoulders. It makes me wonder - when I do get to the top, will I still have the energy left in me to enjoy and appreciate what's waiting for me? When I think back on the sacrifices, the pain and the tears that riddled the journey... will it still be worthwhile?
but I think that we should be hopeful, and believe that the last person will be worth all the setbacks, pain and tears.
I guess only like that, then we will be strong enough to face and overcome all the obstacles that may appear. -
the romantic in me would like to think so.. but i don't think love is enough for a relationship to work out in the end...
but heck.. i'll give it a try if i do find Mrs Bear...
perhaps if both try hard enough, and with enough love, it would work.. however, i guess it's also the catholic in me.. faith alone is not enough, you have to get off your ass and go out there and make it happen...
so, it's the same i figure... love hard, damn the consequences, and then work our butts off to make it work.. BOTH of us... and we may stand a chance at making it work -
The falling in love is the easiest part... its the being in love and loving that usually takes its toll.
"The only reward for love...
is the experience of loving." ~ John Le Carre
Methinks he's never had it bad. -
i had it bad once.. it hurt when everything came crashing down..
but hey.. maybe i'm dumb or something?
i want to get myself back in again
the soft dive of oblivion
i want to taste the salt of your skin
the soft dive of oblivion
and i'll probably try even harder (if possible) to make it work.. -
MrsBear has fur...Originally posted by the Bear:i had it bad once.. it hurt when everything came crashing down..
but hey.. maybe i'm dumb or something?
i want to get myself back in again
the soft dive of oblivion
i want to taste the salt of your skin
the soft dive of oblivion
and i'll probably try even harder (if possible) to make it work.. duh! -
awww...Originally posted by BabyRS:MrsBear has fur... duh!
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i love you is 8 letters. so is bullsh*t.
i dont believe in love.
not after all the divorces and all... -
well, then.. your lossOriginally posted by udontknowme:i love you is 8 letters. so is bullsh*t.
i dont believe in love.
not after all the divorces and all... -
I have been through some serious heartbreak too - and I have been carrying the pieces of my heart in a plastic bag with the little red merlion heads ever since.Originally posted by udontknowme:i love you is 8 letters. so is bullsh*t.
i dont believe in love.
not after all the divorces and all...
I don't know what you have been through, neither am I here to tell you not to give up on love. What right do others have to judge another's dreams if they have not walked even a mere step in your shoes?
That's the weirdest thing about matters of the heart... it never ceased to amaze me how something that can be so beautiful cause so much pain. Ironical is a gross understatement. Just like the stark contrasts between night and day, tears and laughter... good and evil... as much as it brings you happiness - it carries with it as much heart rending sadness. What would you do? Where would you turn?
It's a persistent ache in your heart that shadows the smile on your face,
It's a longing that is sated momentarily by a flash of a vision.
It's awakening to a pleasant thought that has no end in sight...
It's a restless fall into slumber with the promise of a dream.
When the veil of darkness has draped itself around your life and concealed the tears of your pain and despair, when the destiny you had envisaged has all but faded like water amongst the golden sands of the desert, when you stand alone in your hour of adversity and need and no-one is willing to stand beside you, when the battles within your life are on the verge of defeat and ruin, when you are in exile within your own mind, when your heart is empty and is merely watered by the tears of your agonized and anguished soul...
What do you do?
When it seems the haunting silence of the darkness hangs like a shadow within the depths of your heart... When you cling like a child to the dreams of yesterday, when the light of dawn refuses to appear and the sun refuses to shine, when each day has become an eternal struggle to survive...
What do you do?
I believe that within the midst of our suffering there is always something to be learnt. With every obstacle overcome, we will become stronger... and wiser in the ways of life.
As Carl Jung once commented:
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.
He who looks outside dreams.
He who looks inside, awakens.
I hope that one day you will find it in yourself to love again... and be loved in return.
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something similar's happening to two of my friends right, they both went though a bad patch together mainly because of the guy (debts). and though it all she shouldered it with him despite protests from her own family(+extended family) but now that things(moneywise) are more stable for them the relationship's rapidly going downhill with divorce being brought up now and thenOriginally posted by Rhonda:I read this disturbing theory espoused in some book on relationships donkey years ago that I'm not sure is true or just a fallacy.
It states that whilst women may feel more attached to their men after weathering life's storms, some guys might actually be reminded of the unpleasant times of hardship and adversity each time they see their ladies, and in the end, the constant reminders out of sheer association proves to be so much for them that the men will end the relationship because they want a fresh, clean start!
I was much younger than and wasn't quite sure what to make of this!
I guess it depends on whether they weathered the storm well together or not. If the women proved to be incessant nags and royal pains in the place that sees no sun , then I guess they'll come out of the entire situation with much bad blood.
But if the adversity brings out the resilient virtues of both, then I'm sure it will serve to cement the relationship rather than be the cause of its demise.
Never believe everything those books and articles on love and relationships say!
they quarrel often, quite a number of the arguements about money and she would bring up the matter of her helping him in the past quite often in a quarrel, making the guy feel quite bitter about it naturally. plus the fact that she has a tendency to lash out even at her husband often . its all contributing to him thinking that he should consider getting someone with a more gentle character because he got married thinking he could get home after work to a happy family\loving wife, instead of going home to quarrels everyday.
lol come to think about it , because of them i'm having 2nd thoughts about getting married. -
I've been through heartbreak so bad, and not just once, nor twice, and not even just thriceOriginally posted by udontknowme:i love you is 8 letters. so is bullsh*t.
i dont believe in love.
not after all the divorces and all... , that my buddies sometimes tell me that it's amazing I managed to pull through, remain resilient, and have not written off the possibility of falling in love again in future.
I've also seen relationships around me end bitterly, heard close friends lament about the state of their marriage, and even had to run to help those in the midst of divorce.
However, I'm still hopeful about love, in spite of and despite.
Just because you see 'most' people of the opposite sex respond lousily in relationships does not mean that ALL those of the opposite sex will act in the same way. It's only fair that when you start a new relationship, give that new person a clean slate, and don't let him/her shoulder the burden of baggages that you've brought over from your past relationship(s). Afterall, not everyone is the same, and therefore, not everyone will behave in the same manner as your ex(s). Always give your newly-chosen partner a fair chance instead of confining him/her in a small room with walls built from your past experiences, baggages and prejudice.
When the right person comes along, it won't be a bed of roses either but the difference would be that instead of opting for the easy way out when things go bad, or when you're having a bad day and somehow acted badly, he/she will still stick around simply because he/she loves you and is not about to go away and abandon you just because of little hitches now and then. Afterall, all relationships experience highs and lows as well and if someone loves you, they're in for the entire ride, whether it be a sky-high rise or a rock-bottom pitfall. -
Yes, there is also good sex.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:Love - simply and on its own- is insufficient to guarantee happiness.