Would you cane your children ? ...
-
Originally posted by selfobliged:Unless it's religious purposes
.... -
depends on the atrocity committed
-
Of course I would cane my children!.... but there are guidelines that I follow:
1. Caning is a method of discipline - it is a not a vehicle to vent one's frustration.
2. Caning MUST be supported by explanation as to why the punishment is meted out.
3. Caning must be justified by either the lack of any attempt to improve, or wilfully being disobedient.
4. Caning is not child bashing - it is a measured form of punishment and the process has a beginning and an end.
Each time I use the cane, I need to check if I am full control of my anger otherwise I will not use the cane. I will explain why the cane is used and will inform the child the number of strokes. It is almost always on the palm of the hand.
Like jetta, I have two children, and have in the past used the cane as a mode of punishment. I no longer need to use it, and my children and I get along very very well. -
I didOriginally posted by InnoHippo:children nowadays very smart ........
they will dump the canes whenever u are not looking
-
What ages were your children when you started to use and finally didn't need the cane ?Originally posted by Chin Eng:Like jetta, I have two children, and have in the past used the cane as a mode of punishment. I no longer need to use it, and my children and I get along very very well.
-
Well, the concept of PUNISHMENT was instilled at a very young age. My wife will gently slap my boys on their laps when they were as young as 6 mths. It is not harmful, but to show these infants that they cannot suka suka thrown tantrum.Originally posted by choco B:What ages were your children when you started to use and finally didn't need the cane ?
Every child is an attention seeker and as long as they get their ways, they will continue to push their limits.... so it is up to each parent to answer the question: where is the limit?
My wife and I are in agree to the limits where we allow our boys to behave. Some of these limits are just common sense issues, eg safety, politeness, respect (people and property) etc.
Young children DO NOT UNDERSTAND REASONING - as far as they are concern, the universe revolves around them. They will need to learn that there are other bigger issues other then themselves, and if they have to learn it the hard way they will. From gentle reminders to a slap on the hand to the cane.... they will need to know that the result of their failure to comply will be painful (sounds very draconian, but for me, it works).
By the time they understand concepts of behaviour and discipline, I will begin with reasons. If they accept, all's well. However they will continue to look and attempt to breach the boundaries. When boundaries are breached, reminders will be given. If these reminders are ignored, then out comes the cane.
I stopped caning when they have to ability to be responsible for their actions.
My boys are in Sec 2 and Pri 5. I don't ever need to chase them to finish their homework, even when there's no adult at home in the afternoon. They are both student leaders in their school and represent their schools in their respective CCAs.
While I support caning, caning is NOT the only solution. Bringing up a child, the child is paramount - by NOT disciplining the child is doing a disservice to the child. Discipline can take many forms, caning is only one of the forms. It does not have to be used, but it also must not be discounted. When used correctly it is a very powerful weapon to have and the child must not have the assumption that the parent is too afraid to use it. -
my little bro did tat before....Originally posted by InnoHippo:children nowadays very smart ........
they will dump the canes whenever u are not looking
my mum used the feather duster when she found out he did tat... and warn him if he throw away the feather duster, she'll UPGRADE to vaccum cleaner -
Caning as a deterrence works best for young children. Talking sense works better as the child grows up.
-
Originally posted by tare:my little bro did tat before....
my mum used the feather duster when she found out he did tat... and warn him if he throw away the feather duster, she'll UPGRADE to vaccum cleaner If throw away vaccum cleaner? -
tat was too heavy for him then.. plus the feather duster oledi hurt much more than cane liao, he dare not leOriginally posted by SBS3625D: If throw away vaccum cleaner?
-
He's still getting caned?Originally posted by tare:tat was too heavy for him then.. plus the feather duster oledi hurt much more than cane liao, he dare not le -
I believe in using the cane for some kids who needs to be disciplined.
On alternative days / nights, we can hear our neighbours' toddler daughter screaming and crying away in yet another of her tantrum-throwing episode. I think it's because my neighbours do not use physical punishment on her...but just talk, and talk, and talk to their daughter....which doesn't stop the tantrum-throwing and screaming episodes. -
of cos not lah!!Originally posted by SBS3625D:He's still getting caned? -
kids cant choose parents and parents cant choose kids ......Originally posted by Wanda:I believe in using the cane for some kids who needs to be disciplined.
On alternative days / nights, we can hear our neighbours' toddler daughter screaming and crying away in yet another of her tantrum-throwing episode. I think it's because my neighbours do not use physical punishment on her...but just talk, and talk, and talk to their daughter....which doesn't stop the tantrum-throwing and screaming episodes.
kids never choose to be caned and parents never choose to cane kids -
i will 100% cane kids. Thats how kids should be brought up.
-
spare the rod, spoil the child.
-
so, your children are angels, still go and cane them?
actually, i want to cane some other people's children for being absolute demons... and while at it, i'd cane the parents too
Originally posted by CasperX:i will 100% cane kids. Thats how kids should be brought up. -
can u also cane the parents' government?Originally posted by the Bear:so, your children are angels, still go and cane them?
actually, i want to cane some other people's children for being absolute demons... and while at it, i'd cane the parents too -
Too bad we can't intervene.Originally posted by the Bear:so, your children are angels, still go and cane them?
actually, i want to cane some other people's children for being absolute demons... and while at it, i'd cane the parents too -
if you've watched supernanny jo frost, you'll know there's no need for caning for even the worst mannered kid...
-
cane the child, spank the wife.
-
spare the rod, spoil the kid
-
of course must cane...
no cane no gain... -
You have no clothes to iron now.Originally posted by Fatum:I know jetta ....
so ... did you cane yours ? ...
dearling and I are still ironing this issue out .... I showed her this thread already btw ....
As to whether my two got caned... sure! You have to instill the fear of God. As they got older, the cane disappeared and we get along well today. Now, when they get out of line, I take away their privileges and or ground them. -
I'm not sure grounding them will work leh ....Originally posted by jetta:You have no clothes to iron now.
As to whether my two got caned... sure! You have to instill the fear of God. As they got older, the cane disappeared and we get along well today. Now, when they get out of line, I take away their privileges and or ground them.
it didn't with me ... cutting off finances just meant that they'll go wait tables on the sly ....
and yes, I was caned lots ....