How do you react when you are angry with a friend?
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Are you the sort who will confront your friend and get to the bottom of the matter?
Or are you the sort who give the silent treatment and seethe in anger?
There are also folks who will act like nothing ever happened and it's business as usual with them. Others find the trespasses unforgivable and henceforth the friendship ceases to exist.
What, in your opinion, would construe something that's 'unforgivable'?
Thought this might be an interesting topic for discussion! It'll be even more interesting if you include real-life occurences.
Please, no one pretend to be a Holy Saint for this topic!
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Since I'm the thread starter, I will start the ball rolling.
Initially, when I'm really infuriated, I usually use the silent treatment, because I don't trust myself to say nice things when I'm angry. However, I will rant and rave to my other friends about the situation and also to get a little pressure off from being wronged.
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hm for me , i will just kill em all..so less ppl will make me angry anymore..
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For me, depends on the "level" of friendship...
Towards my close friends.. I'll start nagging.. but it goes off pretty soon as i dun wish to hold grudges for long..
Towards normal friends.. I might ignore them for days.. which may turn into years... And if they were to ask anything.. i would give a one-word reply kind of answer...
Towards family members (only my younger bro), i would yell at him..
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Originally posted by frienderine:
For me, depends on the "level" of friendship...
Towards my close friends.. I'll start nagging.. but it goes off pretty soon as i dun wish to hold grudges for long..
Towards normal friends.. I might ignore them for days.. which may turn into years... And if they were to ask anything.. i would give a one-word reply kind of answer...
Towards family members (only my younger bro), i would yell at him..
Thanks for being honest!
I like how you segregate into close friends and normal friends. However, sometimes, those who are closest to us have the ability to hurt us the most.
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I think I'm the silent treatment type till I cool down to thrash things out
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Not to split hairs, but "react" might be the wrong word to use, since you have the option of responding as well.
My friends know well enough that I don't mince words. I just call it as I see it, and if I do have a problem, I'll get to the point of what the problem is and why it doesn't sit well with me.
For people I don't count as friends, my world just gets a bit less complex if they brown me off.
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silent treatment. unless ur my sister [and at times, my dad]. usually i forgive [but dont forget] pretty fast. but if i dont forgive, then byebye! and if i forgive but u piss me off again a couple of times, it's byebye to u too! i dont really go to anyone to talk things out...i dont think i care very much for resolving issues...?? idk...=\ im really not as horrible as i seem! T.T unless i dont like u
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I will get away. Because it's uncomfortable to stay on. If I'm not reminded of the issue, I usually forget about it until one fine day something triggers the memory.
If I die die have to stay around, I will just wonder off somewhere (outdoors) and become silent (indoors).
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With long time friends and male friends:
In serious cases, I will tell them directly what makes me unhappy.
Then silent treatment. They feel guilty. Then one week later, the matter passes, everything back to normal.
In minor cases, just swear, yell and let it out. Everyone feels guilty. 5 minutes later, everything back to normal.
With normal friends and all female friends:
Serious or minor, just be guarded, watch my tongue and keep safe distance from thereonin.
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I'm very "xiao sa" when it comes to this ....
I don't get angry ... I just move on .... delete numbers from hp .. delete msn contacts (yeah, i block, I just delete) .... and sayonara ....
life is too short to be stewing over such petty things .... what's the point of being angry ? .... it just shortens your life span ...
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Originally posted by Fatum:
I'm very "xiao sa" when it comes to this ....
I don't get angry ... I just move on .... delete numbers from hp .. delete msn contacts (yeah, i block, I just delete) .... and sayonara ....
life is too short to be stewing over such petty things .... what's the point of being angry ? .... it just shortens your life span ...
Actually I've been told that deleting numbers and blocking/deleting msn contacts is considered extreme reaction.
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Originally posted by soleachip:
Actually I've been told that deleting numbers and blocking/deleting msn contacts is considered extreme reaction.
if you're not going to be speaking with the person again, why bother ? ....
others may call it spiteful action, but to me it's just cleaning up my contact list ..
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Originally posted by Fatum:
if you're not going to be speaking with the person again, why bother ? ....
others may call it spiteful action, but to me it's just cleaning up my contact list ..
heh, that was what i used to do - deleting and blocking people, erasing their numbers so there are zero channels even if i wind up itching to make contact.
nowadays i feel that sometimes momentary anger and freak misunderstandings do happen, it doesn't hurt leaving doors slightly opened.
as for drastic measures to avoid contact, me thinks it reflects some kind of insecurity. just my two cents worth.
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if im angry with my friend.....usually i dont talk at all and stay very quiet......then all my friends will know im pissed off and they will talk nicely to me.......people get scared of me when im quiet......for some reason
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Originally posted by Fatum:
I'm very "xiao sa" when it comes to this ....
I don't get angry ... I just move on .... delete numbers from hp .. delete msn contacts (yeah, i block, I just delete) .... and sayonara ....
life is too short to be stewing over such petty things .... what's the point of being angry ? .... it just shortens your life span ...
after trying to talk things over first? if so then fine.if not, then that's very childish and petty.
For me, I try to talk first....so even if things don't work out I know I've tried. And I try to avoid the whole yelling/shouting match routine.
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i do everything except yelling
when i yell, means reach boiling point liao
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
Are you the sort who will confront your friend and get to the bottom of the matter?
Or are you the sort who give the silent treatment and seethe in anger?
There are also folks who will act like nothing ever happened and it's business as usual with them. Others find the trespasses unforgivable and henceforth the friendship ceases to exist.
What, in your opinion, would construe something that's 'unforgivable'?
Thought this might be an interesting topic for discussion! It'll be even more interesting if you include real-life occurences.
Please, no one pretend to be a Holy Saint for this topic!
Young ago, a good friend accused me of courting the girl he liked (which wasn't the case).
We kept apart from each other for some years, until the friendship was rebuilt again.
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I might confront. I'm not the kind that take things lying down, esp if the issue deserve to be addressed. However, i'm also the type that is quite emotionally stable so i trust myself to act with reasonable constraint during the talk out.
But if you are not in my inner circle, i will pretend that there nothings have ever happen.
Maybe i have higher expectation with friends who are close to me.
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I think as we grow older, we become wiser to the personalities and "patterns" of people around us ? ... somehow, you instinctively know that a friendship has gone beyond the repairable stage .... or that certain aspects of the personality will always be clashing ....
why suffer a bad friend when life is short ? ....
and of course ... sometimes, it's the cult of manhood thing .... certain things, once said, can never be taken back .... that may not be such a bad thing after all .... females keep everyone on the lists, and suffer and snitch and bitch behind each other's back, I don't really get it .... guys just get the fark out of each other's lives ...
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What's going in my mind
I will get terribly upset.
But after that, I will just tell myself that why should I be bother anyway. It is just a friend. I can live without them.
What's shown on my face
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I am quite an easy going person, so usually I don't get angry that easily.
For my close friends, I'll keep quiet until I cool down, then I thrash things out with them. No matter what, if they are my close friends, I'll try to patch things up. Don't want to lose a good friend because of a quarrel..
But usually, I'll try so that it doesn't escalate until a big matter..
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Originally posted by Go:
What's going in my mind
I will get terribly upset.
But after that, I will just tell myself that why should I be bother anyway. It is just a friend. I can live without them.
What's shown on my face
be "Xiao Sa" ! ....
come to think of it ... what's the english equivalent for the word ? ......
anyone ? ...
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
Are you the sort who will confront your friend and get to the bottom of the matter?
Or are you the sort who give the silent treatment and seethe in anger?
There are also folks who will act like nothing ever happened and it's business as usual with them. Others find the trespasses unforgivable and henceforth the friendship ceases to exist.
What, in your opinion, would construe something that's 'unforgivable'?
Thought this might be an interesting topic for discussion! It'll be even more interesting if you include real-life occurences.
Please, no one pretend to be a Holy Saint for this topic!
Unforgivable is betrayed trust to the extreme , like P & C stuffs. Or backstab me after what i did for the person .
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Originally posted by Fatum:
I think as we grow older, we become wiser to the personalities and "patterns" of people around us ? ... somehow, you instinctively know that a friendship has gone beyond the repairable stage .... or that certain aspects of the personality will always be clashing ....
why suffer a bad friend when life is short ? ....
and of course ... sometimes, it's the cult of manhood thing .... certain things, once said, can never be taken back .... that may not be such a bad thing after all .... females keep everyone on the lists, and suffer and snitch and bitch behind each other's back, I don't really get it .... guys just get the fark out of each other's lives ...
Cheers to that!