Update on an old poem : Five Ways to Kill A Man
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There's a very interesting poem written by Edwin Brock entitled, "Five Ways to Kill A Man". I wonder how many of you have read it?
Five Ways to Kill A Man
There are many cumbersome ways to kill a man.
You can make him carry a plank of wood
to the top of a hill and nail him to it.
To do this properly you require a crowd of people
wearing sandals, a cock that crows, a cloak
to dissect, a sponge, some vinegar and one
man to hammer the nails home.Or you can take a length of steel,
shaped and chased in a traditional way,
and attempt to pierce the metal cage he wears.
But for this you need white horses,
English trees, men with bows and arrows,
at least two flags, a prince, and a
castle to hold your banquet in.Dispensing with nobility, you may, if the wind
allows, blow gas at him. But then you need
a mile of mud sliced through with ditches,
not to mention black boots, bomb craters,
more mud, a plague of rats, a dozen songs
and some round hats made of steel.In an age of aeroplanes, you may fly
miles above your victim and dispose of him by
pressing one small switch. All you then
require is an ocean to separate you, two
systems of government, a nation's scientists,
several factories, a psychopath and
land that no-one needs for several years.These are, as I began, cumbersome ways to kill a man.
Simpler, direct, and much more neat is to see
that he is living somewhere in the middle
of the twentieth century, and leave him there.I thought we might indulge in a bit of morbid, dark humour, and think of New Millenium ways in which a man can die!
Welcome to the Dark Side!
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:x
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turn a person into a Cyberman!
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stuff the person with so much lettuce tat he vomits and die!!!!
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Originally posted by tare:
stuff the person with so much lettuce tat he vomits and die!!!!
Wah! This one's a new idea!
But erm... why lettuce?
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
Wah! This one's a new idea!
But erm... why lettuce?
fat fat's most feared food.... -
Originally posted by Rhonda:
There's a very interesting poem written by Edwin Brock entitled, "Five Ways to Kill A Man". I wonder how many of you have read it?
Five Ways to Kill A Man
There are many cumbersome ways to kill a man.
You can make him carry a plank of wood
to the top of a hill and nail him to it.
To do this properly you require a crowd of people
wearing sandals, a cock that crows, a cloak
to dissect, a sponge, some vinegar and one
man to hammer the nails home.Or you can take a length of steel,
shaped and chased in a traditional way,
and attempt to pierce the metal cage he wears.
But for this you need white horses,
English trees, men with bows and arrows,
at least two flags, a prince, and a
castle to hold your banquet in.Dispensing with nobility, you may, if the wind
allows, blow gas at him. But then you need
a mile of mud sliced through with ditches,
not to mention black boots, bomb craters,
more mud, a plague of rats, a dozen songs
and some round hats made of steel.In an age of aeroplanes, you may fly
miles above your victim and dispose of him by
pressing one small switch. All you then
require is an ocean to separate you, two
systems of government, a nation's scientists,
several factories, a psychopath and
land that no-one needs for several years.These are, as I began, cumbersome ways to kill a man.
Simpler, direct, and much more neat is to see
that he is living somewhere in the middle
of the twentieth century, and leave him there.I thought we might indulge in a bit of morbid, dark humour, and think of New Millenium ways in which a man can die!
Welcome to the Dark Side!
read before in sec sch literature class
I liked the poem...
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sec sch?!
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one way to kill a man...
turn him into a woman!
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Originally posted by LOTUSfairy:
one way to kill a man...
turn him into a woman!
Or let him have more than 3 woman in his household
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Originally posted by Gosu.:
Or let him have more than 3 woman in his household
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id like to see some flesh eating biotechnological nanomachines eating away at its human test subject slowly
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Deprive him from internet, beer, football and ......
hmmm...... short of one...
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Get a pretty young thing to bite off his manhood! :D
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so many steps.. so mahuan