to have kids to look after us when we are old...
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Originally posted by elindra:
-_-"I'm not even sure if I can accept that :x
But anyway you love him enough to marry him I guess that is all matters, plus his mum won't be around forever anyway
Love? its overrated. its regret now
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Originally posted by av98m:
Evil old people seem to be able to cling on to life for a very long time. I've seen that with my own eyes. >.<"And I also can vouch for that. They just don't go away even when their time is up. they are the most selfish of the lot.
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
Love? its overrated. its regret now
Maybe things will look up soon :x
We're living on our own to avoid conflict so everyone is happy
Anyway to get your own place so you don't have to see your MIL everyday?
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Originally posted by elindra:
Maybe things will look up soon :x
We're living on our own to avoid conflict so everyone is happy
Anyway to get your own place so you don't have to see your MIL everyday?
Heard divorce from him 4 times. I think its about enough times to hear it over 2 years.
my husband will never move out. The parents do not have their own house because they gambled it away. Now my husband made a promise to forever take care of his parents till they die - He only want to be the best Son. They are only in their late 50s. That's a long wait. And moving out, will never happen. The last time he spoke about moving out is to kick me out of the house. Later he propose I continue to fund the current house to let his parents stay in while I purchase a private unit and stay there on my own and pay for it out of my own pocket but he so kindly agree that the private unit should be in my name and not his and he will come visit.
Can anyone accept such things? I cannot.
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
Heard divorce from him 4 times. I think its about enough times to hear it over 2 years.
my husband will never move out. The parents do not have their own house because they gambled it away. Now my husband made a promise to forever take care of his parents till they die - He only want to be the best Son. They are only in their late 50s. That's a long wait. And moving out, will never happen. The last time he spoke about moving out is to kick me out of the house. Later he propose I continue to fund the current house to let his parents stay in while I purchase a private unit and stay there on my own and pay for it out of my own pocket but he so kindly agree that the private unit should be in my name and not his and he will come visit.
Can anyone accept such things? I cannot.
Wah liao eh how come you can put up with this nonsense!!
He dun want you, and yet wants you to PAY for the CURRENT HOUSE while getting yr own place?? Is he on drugs?
Might as well divorce him and sue him dry for alimony
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Originally posted by elindra:
Wah liao eh how come you can put up with this nonsense!!
He dun want you, and yet wants you to PAY for the CURRENT HOUSE while getting yr own place?? Is he on drugs?
Might as well divorce him and sue him dry for alimony
I am thinking already. Anyways, I agreed to it long ago . Its just the paper work. I should have been firm and pushed it through so that today I do not have such rubbish to deal with
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
I am thinking already. Anyways, I agreed to it long ago . Its just the paper work. I should have been firm and pushed it through so that today I do not have such rubbish to deal with
Good luck and be strong!Goodness!!!
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Sorry to hear about all this misty...but i'd hope that you will pull through all this =)
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And he claims that whatever he's suggesting is good for us and made it sound as if I owe it to him and only he's right. he either use brute force and balme to get me to do what he wants or he use utter stupid logic to suggest solutions that only benefit his family and still force me to do it.
Obviously I am not loaded and obviously I never intended to be in debt. Then this will be another round of "I told you so, you should have thrown away your ego, pride, dignity and bow to my parents then you can obey everyone like an animal so that you can be allowed to live with us"
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
Heard divorce from him 4 times. I think its about enough times to hear it over 2 years.
my husband will never move out. The parents do not have their own house because they gambled it away. Now my husband made a promise to forever take care of his parents till they die - He only want to be the best Son. They are only in their late 50s. That's a long wait. And moving out, will never happen. The last time he spoke about moving out is to kick me out of the house. Later he propose I continue to fund the current house to let his parents stay in while I purchase a private unit and stay there on my own and pay for it out of my own pocket but he so kindly agree that the private unit should be in my name and not his and he will come visit.
Can anyone accept such things? I cannot.
what the..... -
That's just so harsh....i can't believe he said or did that to you....*pats misty* hang in there ok?
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
And he claims that whatever he's suggesting is good for us and made it sound as if I owe it to him and only he's right. he either use brute force and balme to get me to do what he wants or he use utter stupid logic to suggest solutions that only benefit his family and still force me to do it.
Obviously I am not loaded and obviously I never intended to be in debt. Then this will be another round of "I told you so, you should have thrown away your ego, pride, dignity and bow to my parents then you can obey everyone like an animal so that you can be allowed to live with us"
Why don't he just marry his mum
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Originally posted by elindra:
Why don't he just marry his mum
I think I can answer that question but this is supposed to be a family friendly forum (sort of)
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This kind of guy have to be a real bitch to him
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so TS, this is the kind of result if you wish to ensre the kids take care of you in future. They get trapped in between and the parents just drive the couple apart. I am not saying that there are no good in-laws or parents but chances are that the mindset of the older people and younger people will need a lot of time to adjust. And even when the young give way, the old can accept it that the young can only give in to a certain point or will they demand absolute giving way by the young which is my case -its never ending giving way. When the kids are siding the parents all the time, the spouse suffers in silence.
Its not that kids want to leave the parents. Its that they need to grow up. They need to find their own space. They need to start a new family on their own and fulfil their destiny. Not be held back to fulfil the parent's wish. We all wish to have the kids to our own but to hold them back is to do them injustice. Its hard to let go but its only then when they can truly appreciate life and what you gave them.What is piety? Its not an out-dated concept. I think its just that the form has changed while the substance remained the same. We have move on and lived in the 21st century. And it really does not mean kids staying with parents are being pieous. And it does not mean the parents forcing the kids to be pieous will get whatever they want. Nothing forced is worth any value. Staying together is nothing. True piety is beyond all that. My husband stays with his parents but he remains distant to them. So to me, what's the point. Even though he feels that he's providing for them. I feel that he did some wrongs and he's just trying to reduce his guilt. For me, I visit my parents weekly and ask about them and talk to them. I know my parents have their own world and they should. But I think its a healthier relationship than if I stayed with them. And I am not a pieous person but between my sister and myself, we discussed this topic and know that we try our best within our means but we also want to grow up and find our own selves.
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Originally posted by elindra:
Why don't he just marry his mum
He already is married to his mom and his niece. he just wasted 7 years of my life
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Originally posted by fairlady_xoxo:
That's just so harsh....i can't believe he said or did that to you....*pats misty* hang in there ok?
He said that 2 times and each time I get a shock. And the 2nd time he blamed me for not taking up his suggestion and therefore the cause of our break up.
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
And he claims that whatever he's suggesting is good for us and made it sound as if I owe it to him and only he's right. he either use brute force and balme to get me to do what he wants or he use utter stupid logic to suggest solutions that only benefit his family and still force me to do it.
Obviously I am not loaded and obviously I never intended to be in debt. Then this will be another round of "I told you so, you should have thrown away your ego, pride, dignity and bow to my parents then you can obey everyone like an animal so that you can be allowed to live with us"
be strong. -
Originally posted by elindra:
This kind of guy have to be a real bitch to him
He had bitchy gf before. I was the only one who was not and relatively easy to bully. So he choose someone he can lord over.
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
He already is married to his mom and his niece. he just wasted 7 years of my life
-_-"I think you know what is the best course of action already.
Just be strong and you will pull through :)
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
He said that 2 times and each time I get a shock. And the 2nd time he blamed me for not taking up his suggestion and therefore the cause of our break up.
Hmmm how can he be so unreasonable and push all the blame to you...doesn't he know that?! Argh this guy is just so...grrrr... -
Originally posted by mistyblue:
He had bitchy gf before. I was the only one who was not and relatively easy to bully. So he choose someone he can lord over.
Sorry to say but yr husband is the kind of man who is so used to the mum lording over him that the only way for a wife who can live with him is to be as bitchy as his mum or bitchier.
If he gets someone who is nice, the only way he knows how to act is like his mum and bully -_-"
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Originally posted by fairlady_xoxo:
Hmmm how can he be so unreasonable and push all the blame to you...doesn't he know that?! Argh this guy is just so...grrrr...Its his character. he does not see it as pushing blame, he will tell everyone that he is seeing it clearly as who is at fault and who should be the one to change. Such a nice way of putting things - like mother, like son. His mom also constantly blame me for all the nonsense things she can image our of thin air and then complains to him. So they both gang together and balme me for no doing this, not obeying that, not doing what they both imagine I should and etc
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
Its his character. he does not see it as pushing blame, he will tell everyone that he is seeing it clearly as who is at fault and who should be the one to change. Such a nice way of putting things - like mother, like son. His mom also constantly blame me for all the nonsense things she can image our of thin air and then complains to him. So they both gang together and balme me for no doing this, not obeying that, not doing what they both imagine I should and etc
he no back bone. listen to the mother, but don't trust his wife..
tsk..
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Originally posted by elindra:
Sorry to say but yr husband is the kind of man who is so used to the mum lording over him that the only way for a wife who can live with him is to be as bitchy as his mum or bitchier.
If he gets someone who is nice, the only way he knows how to act is like his mum and bully -_-"
I didn't want to become someone that I am not - I had not been able to be bitchy with him or his family but I have foul moods which I am not allowed to display or I'll get a verbal thrashing. I would not say I am a good person or that I am not without flaws, but If he did not realised that he had a good enough woman by his side to want to keep him company. Then I can only feel sorry cause I am really really tired and I do not wish to live my life like this.