Of Cheaters And Cheatees ....
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I love this girl's blog .... she always manages to get you thinking, even if it pisses you off ....
I must confess, that I plotted dark murders and mutilation on the other chaps when the last dearling cheated on me ... twice ...
it took much courage to simply walk away ... and I was very bitter about it ....
but ... perhaps I should be glad of it ... that I found out about it so soon ... neh ? ...
To borrow from VS Naipaul ... human relationships are very simple things ... trust completely anyone and everyone .... until the first betrayal ... and never ever do so after ... because anyone who've betrayed you once, can do so again ...
so ... I guess, thanks to the other chap for taking her off my hands? ...
http://theladymelissa.blogspot.com/2008/10/cheating-game.html
One of my friend's husband has been unfaithful to her. She came crying to me yesterday, and was understandably hurt. What was less understandable was that her vitriol was reserved mostly for the girl her husband cheated with, whom she called all manner of names, cursed her with poison reserved for serial murderers, and wished a fate worse than death on her.
Although I did not say this to her but instead made all the right, sympathetic noises, in my heart, I thought that was unfair. I have thought about this often before - if my boyfriend or husband were to cheat on me, what would my reaction be?
Who would I hate more? My partner or the third party?
I always try to distinguish myself from the unthinking caveman/cavewoman who are apt to have knee-jerk reactions. I have observed that most of these neanderthals tend to reserve their hatred for the third-parties. Guys would seek out and try to maim/kill the other guy. Girls will do the same, sometimes with worse if more subtle vengeance. However, as in all my actions, as an aristocrat, whenever Peasants do something in droves, my alarm bells tell me something must be wrong.
The truth is that rationally speaking, I have decided that most of my vengeance should be exacted on my own partner. Morally, he has made an obligation, a commitment to me. If he were my husband, this obligation would be even more solemn, in the form of a vow, taken in Church, and backed up by the law. The other girl on the other hand, if she's a stranger to me, has no moral obligation to me, much less a legal one. What hatred do I have for her? It takes two hands to clap, two to tango - all those cliches are true. She may be a conniving bitch, but my husband would be no angel either. In addition, he has a moral, emotional obligation to me. The act of betrayal was perpetrated by him, not by the other girl.
The only exception to this scenario would be if the girl were my friend as well. In this case, moral blame should be apportioned to both parties, vis-a-vis me, as one would have betrayed love, and the other friendship. Yet, again in this scenario, it would be unfair to wholly blame the third party, as unthinking human beings are wont to do.
Moral theorists say that the best moral decisions are made in cool times, when primitive feelings do not cloud the head. I hope I remember this if ever I were to be cheated on. -
"To borrow from VS Naipaul ... human relationships are very simple things ... trust completely anyone and everyone .... until the first betrayal ... and never ever do so after ... because anyone who've betrayed you once, can do so again ..."
This is very good advice to live by.
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so the conclusion is.. not to trust anyone, at all ?
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Originally posted by ä¸�如就æ»:
so the conclusion is.. not to trust anyone, at all ?
no ....
trust everyone completely ............... once.
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Originally posted by ä¸�如就æ»:
so the conclusion is.. not to trust anyone, at all ?
no. its to assume anyone is trustworthy until they prove themselves otherwise. -
well i do agree, blame the bastard!
cos even if it's not TAT woman, it would eventually be another woman...
trust, if betrayed... well depending on how much u love ur partner... either give up and walk out OR
IF he's remorseful and willing to make atonement, give him/her a second chance (which comes with a whole probation term)...
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Well, I gotta agree that they cheating hubby is the one to be blamed.
After all, even if the girl had seduced him, the most sensible thing to do would be to simply walk away, no?
He was in no way forced into committing infidelity; he made the choice with his own free will. And since he made the choice of committing infidelity, he has to answer for that.
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knew someone a long long long time back...he sinned...multiple times. i mean it's not like someone pointing the gun to his head and asking you to do (again and again).
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it does bring me to ponder about this question.
If ur partner cheat, but does come home everyday and love u like he/she used to (meaning not much changes from the time u were with him/her). Would you wanna know about it? Why?
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hmmmm .... that sounds very ..... frog .. i mean, french ...
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
it does bring me to ponder about this question.
If ur partner cheat, but does come home everyday and love u like he/she used to (meaning not much changes from the time u were with him/her). Would you wanna know about it? Why?
Definitely want to know ... don't ask me why
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and I thought it was going to be some confession that he cheated on his vegetarian diet and cutting back plans
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
it does bring me to ponder about this question.
If ur partner cheat, but does come home everyday and love u like he/she used to (meaning not much changes from the time u were with him/her). Would you wanna know about it? Why?
a heart is not capable to love 2 person equally... if he has love me the same, he won't be cheating...frankly, i would wanna know abt it... for reason u won't wanna know... wahahahahaahaa
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don't get attached better
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oso... if a freaking hot babe with getting laid in mind and chooses u as her target.... i wonder how many married guys can walk away, knowing that they will never b caught???
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Originally posted by tare:
a heart is not capable to love 2 person equally... if he has love me the same, he won't be cheating...frankly, i would wanna know abt it... for reason u won't wanna know... wahahahahaahaa
when it come to guy, thing is abit different. some guys cheat due to lust. But when a women cheat, itis more of a emotional thing. And there is no returning once a woman cheat. But when a guy cheat out of lust, he blame himself for not standing up to his urge & come home with his tail in between his leg. Where else women.... they left their nest and start making new nest with that other guy... :P
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Originally posted by tare:
a heart is not capable to love 2 person equally... if he has love me the same, he won't be cheating...frankly, i would wanna know abt it... for reason u won't wanna know... wahahahahaahaa
maybe initially also never love fully lor.
or it's just lust and not love for the other girl?
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
when it come to guy, thing is abit different. some guys cheat due to lust. But when a women cheat, itis more of a emotional thing. And there is no returning once a woman cheat. But when a guy cheat out of lust, he blame himself for not standing up to his urge.
interesting thought ....
they say men can bonk without emotions ... but a woman can't ....
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who is 'they'
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figure of speech lah 。。。
apparently, men can fark any piece of tail they want, rub themselves clean, pat their asses and walk away ...
I dunno about women, but they say women need to feel an emotional attachment to the person before they can bonk ...
nymphos and pros excempt of course ....
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
when it come to guy, thing is abit different. some guys cheat due to lust. But when a women cheat, itis more of a emotional thing. And there is no returning once a woman cheat. But when a guy cheat out of lust, he blame himself for not standing up to his urge & come home with his tail in between his leg. Where else women.... they left their nest and start making new nest with that other guy... :P
so if a woman fark and go (like a man) she can go cheat out of lust too?and hor, not all men can just fark and go... the emotional aftermath can be as bad...
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Originally posted by tare:
so if a woman fark and go (like a man) she can go cheat out of lust too?and hor, not all men can just fark and go... the emotional aftermath can be as bad...
Nope... i dun mean to justify cheat is rite. I mean when a guy cheat, it isnt out of love most of the time, but more of a lust. which is refering to ur earlier statement
"a heart is not capable to love 2 person equally... if he has love me the same, he won't be cheating..."
in short, he still love u, but just cant resist temptation/lust/urge, etc
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
Nope... i dun mean to justify cheat is rite. I mean when a guy cheat, it isnt out of love most of the time, but more of a lust. which is refering to ur earlier statement
"a heart is not capable to love 2 person equally... if he has love me the same, he won't be cheating..."
in short, he still love u, but just cant resist temptation/lust/urge, etc
then just cut off his dick, i'll still love him the same... hur hur hur~~~ *evil chuckles*seriously, that's just lame... woman has sexual needs too...
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
Nope... i dun mean to justify cheat is rite. I mean when a guy cheat, it isnt out of love most of the time, but more of a lust. which is refering to ur earlier statement
"a heart is not capable to love 2 person equally... if he has love me the same, he won't be cheating..."
in short, he still love u, but just cant resist temptation/lust/urge, etc
no excuse...
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
Nope... i dun mean to justify cheat is rite. I mean when a guy cheat, it isnt out of love most of the time, but more of a lust. which is refering to ur earlier statement
"a heart is not capable to love 2 person equally... if he has love me the same, he won't be cheating..."
in short, he still love u, but just cant resist temptation/lust/urge, etc
that's a pile of hogwash.