And here's how the fight started....
-
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace
expensive.
So I took her to a gas station.
And that's how the fight started....
*********************************************************
I tried talking my wife into letting me buy a case of Miller
Light for $14.95.
Instead, she wanted to buy a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
She told me, it's to make her look beautiful. I said that's what
the beer is for.
And that's how the fight started...
************************************************************************
*
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social
Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify
my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go
home and
come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my
curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
me' and
she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten
disability, too'.
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those
many
years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And that's how the fight started.....
***********************************************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver
got out
of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little
things just
seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM
NOT
HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are
you?'
And that's how the fight started.....
************************************************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
'Nah, she can order for herself.'
And that's how the fight started..... -
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!
Oh, I SO have to pass this round the office!
-
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver
got out
of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little
things just
seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM
NOT
HAPPY!!!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are
you?'
And that's how the fight started.....
-
Sry but i dont realli understand abt the drawf joke?
-
Originally posted by pierre^^:
Sry but i dont realli understand abt the drawf joke?
Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy and Sneezy -
Originally posted by pierre^^:
Sry but i dont realli understand abt the drawf joke?
Snow White.
-
PMSL at all of them...I remember the cold cream to be more expensive though!
-
Glad you guys like this. I'll just have to post more stuff then, huh?
-
HEEHEEHEEEEEE =D
love em!
-
lol this is da funnie
-
-
shouldnt this be at jokes and humor section?
-
maybe wrong section but haha, thanks for topic ts, really gave me a laugh
-
-
Nice ones jetta :)
-
A friend came to my restaurant one night in 2000 and asked me about my second wife 'is your wife pregnant?' and I said 'Yes,she's been pregnant since 1995' and that was how I got my divorce a year later
This is my true story so dont laugh
-
My wife was standing nude, looking into the bedroom mirror.
She wasn't happy with what she saw and said, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
So I complimented her saying, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then that's how the fight started... -
Originally posted by soleachip:
My wife was standing nude, looking into the bedroom mirror.
She wasn't happy with what she saw and said, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
So I complimented her saying, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then that's how the fight started...LOL
this one is good -
Originally posted by Short Ninja:
A friend came to my restaurant one night in 2000 and asked me about my second wife 'is your wife pregnant?' and I said 'Yes,she's been pregnant since 1995' and that was how I got my divorce a year later
This is my true story so dont laugh
no shit ! ... are you serious !?!? ....
-
Originally posted by soleachip:
My wife was standing nude, looking into the bedroom mirror.
She wasn't happy with what she saw and said, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
So I complimented her saying, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then that's how the fight started... -
. Bloody hell.
-
Nice
!! -
Pretty funny stuff!
-
Originally posted by Fatum:
no shit ! ... are you serious !?!? ....
Yes,she was real nasty and I really mean with the fatty jokes. -
hey.. i kena before..
i asked someone how long she's been pregnant and she replied that she's not, she's just fat..