The US Economic Stimulus Payment Plan Explained
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This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US. -
I thought computer is China or Taiwan. India producing computers now?
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Originally posted by maurizio13:
I thought computer is China or Taiwan. India producing computers now?
I don't think so, but if call up their tech support, you'll probably be talking to someone with a thick Indian accent.
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Originally posted by Meia Gisborn:
I don't think so, but if call up their tech support, you'll probably be talking to someone with a thick Indian accent.
nowadays some companies outsource the customer service/support service to india. -
Originally posted by Meia Gisborn:
This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US. -
Hmm..so how should we spend our new GST credits to help the Singaporean economy when we get them? I'm not even sure if there are many local prostitutes left in Singapore.
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Originally posted by av98m:
Hmm..so how should we spend our new GST credits to help the Singaporean economy when we get them? I'm not even sure if there are many local prostitutes left in Singapore.
singapore pools...
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Oh my gosh, that is soooo funny! Did you cnp it from somewhere or did you come up with all that yourself, MG?
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Originally posted by av98m:
Hmm..so how should we spend our new GST credits to help the Singaporean economy when we get them? I'm not even sure if there are many local prostitutes left in Singapore.
Hmm... profound question.
I managed to come up with the following suggestions on how Singaporeans can spend their GST credits to benefit Singapore:
- Hire yet another local tuition teacher for your already severely stressed school-going children;
- Eat more at the hawker centres (yes, here's a valid and legitimate excuse to pig out!
);- Drink Tiger Beer only (it IS still manufactured in Singapore, no?);
- Buy more Published in Singapore assessment books for your (poor) schoolgoing children (
);- Don't read the local news online - buy The Straits Times and if you want to contribute even more, buy The New Paper and other local magazines; and
- Eat every meal of every day out (if you don't already do that).
Come now, Singaporeans, what else can be done to stimulate the economy?
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
Hmm... profound question.
I managed to come up with the following suggestions on how Singaporeans can spend their GST credits to benefit Singapore:
- Hire yet another local tuition teacher for your already severely stressed school-going children;
- Eat more at the hawker centres (yes, here's a valid and legitimate excuse to pig out!
);- Drink Tiger Beer only (it IS still manufactured in Singapore, no?);
- Buy more Published in Singapore assessment books for your (poor) schoolgoing children (
);- Don't read the local news online - buy The Straits Times and if you want to contribute even more, buy The New Paper and other local magazines; and
- Eat every meal of every day out (if you don't already do that).
Come now, Singaporeans, what else can be done to stimulate the economy?
Erhmm practically everything is imported in Singapore
No matter how hard we try not to we will be funding China, Malaysia, Brazil, Thailand, Taiwan, USA etc etc etc :P
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Support local.
TT money into my local sg bank account.
I promise you I will spend it all on ..... myself.
And I am local.
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Ironic, sad but logical, isn't it?
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
Oh my gosh, that is soooo funny! Did you cnp it from somewhere or did you come up with all that yourself, MG?
Can't take credit for it. It was e-mailed to me by a colleague. -
Mg, hahahahahaa!!!! How true!
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Originally posted by Meia Gisborn:
Can't take credit for it. It was e-mailed to me by a colleague.Haiz... I was going to swoon over how brilliant you are...
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I was watching CNN yesterday when they interviewed a few economic heavyweights at Davos for their opinions on the current economic condition. They were taking an informal tally of when those interviewed think the recession will be over and growth will start once again. It seems that the majority seem to be of the opinion that 2009 will be a bad year and the bad economic climate will only lift in 2010.
There was also a discussion on CNN about how Obama and other American politicians are encouraging Americans to purchase Made in America products and to 'bring the jobs home'. Whilst it makes sense to spend the money released from the stimulus package in their own country, it raises the issue of what would be perceived by other trade partners as protectionist policies and it might spark retaliative measures from other countries, who might then impose an embargo on US-manufactured products.
Catch-21 situation...