If you're over 35 and still single, are you happy or sad?
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Originally posted by ~0_0~:
Yes i'd rather remain single if i don't find the right man.
Dating agencies only want to make money. I just turned 30, well-educated, successful career, good income, good shape, looks not stunning but ok. Joined a dating agency to see if i can meet eligible men. First date i got was with a guy in late 30s (but looked older than that), ITE dropout, in between jobs, not comfortable speaking english. I don't want to be mean, but really it was a waste of time for both of us. Sigh.
Same... been to dating agencies... guess its also a numbers game... u just have to go more and more if you want to find someone.
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well, i'm 35, single, and not exactly thrill to get a relationship, but its lonely too. so its confusing. and as we aged, its harder to meet new people, harder to find the one.
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My take on this...
Happiness is subjective.
Everyone should have an objective to pursue before deciding for his/her course of life. That life objective should be something that should make you happy. If not, it is doomed for failure at the start.
What it comes to companionship or marraige, I agree that the scale swings toward the guy. We can work hard, make a good career while we are young, sacrficing time and effort on making money instead of chasing skirts. When you have a good career in your 30s or 40s, you still have time to shop and pick your partner. Doubtlessly, many people will say the young girl is only falling for you for your money. But the thing is, the guys know and can accept that fact. They understand that it is their success that is attracting attention and they are happy to share that success with a girl they like.
For the fairer sex, if the objective is to be independent, modern feminist, then she better be very very sure this is what she wants. Cos this is a one way trip. No return ticket and only the lucky ones get a detour. No matter how young or beautiful she is, age and beauty are infact depreciating assets. There is no way to have it both ways. If she decides to forgo the opportunites to look for a mate when she is young for her career, then she has to tell herself that she will be happy travelling the world or whatever when she is past her prime.
There is really no right or wrong. I read somewhere in the earlier posts about happiness not related to whether you are single or attached. Many attached people are hoping to single and vice versa. I agree fully in that. Just be very sure what you want in life and pursue it without regrets.
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just get married lah n dont have to nag to other people but ur spouse till he gets tired or u n find another n u have to regret n find another a secret relation maybe ,,,life is so short no excitement sit alone at home everyday come to a lonely house after work is not healthy for u die much younger.all your money have to donate to unknown charity n used by some monk like in ren ci or nkf ,think of the bright side of marriage n u will enjoy n something to look forward every day ,see children grow older with u these r quality time worth spending on n if still cannot get a spouse go to third world country n pay some one to be ur hubby definitly no problem except dont get swindle ha ,he he he
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No necessity for the "if" here. I'm well past the 35. I'm single. life's been one hell of a roller coaster ride for me but when all's said and done, yes, I'm still a pretty happy fella. What's being single gotta do with being happy and vice versa? Life is a journey, not a destination- it's living every single day to its best that matters.
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happiness is to be contented with yourself, therefore age should not have any bearings.
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Originally posted by keisha:
well, i'm 35, single, and not exactly thrill to get a relationship, but its lonely too. so its confusing. and as we aged, its harder to meet new people, harder to find the one.
Just keep telling yourself there's many and not just one and it'll be easier going. Look on the bright side of things.Kind Regards
Genie
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Originally posted by Ssirajjj:
just get married lah n dont have to nag to other people but ur spouse till he gets tired or u n find another n u have to regret n find another a secret relation maybe ,,,life is so short no excitement sit alone at home everyday come to a lonely house after work is not healthy for u die much younger.all your money have to donate to unknown charity n used by some monk like in ren ci or nkf ,think of the bright side of marriage n u will enjoy n something to look forward every day ,see children grow older with u these r quality time worth spending on n if still cannot get a spouse go to third world country n pay some one to be ur hubby definitly no problem except dont get swindle ha ,he he he
This is dysfunctional on so many levels - it's using someone to get to an end.
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Hi all. My first post here.
I'm going to turn 35 in August. Have thought about this issue - relationship and marriage, and long-term life planning, among other 'major' things.
I guess it really boils down to one's outlook in and perspectives on life. If one is JUST going to find someone whom he is (physically) attracted to, or to JUST find someone whom he can 'click' so that he doesn't get bored when his friends are not free, then his priorities are all wrong. Because with time, beauty will fade and companionship will get dull and stale.
That is why so so many couples who got married in their 20s filed divorce only after a couple of years - 'cause their maturity sets in and their horizons expanded, and their brains tell them that this partner is not a suitable for life-time.
After all the time-wasting activities I took in my earlier years of life, trying to impress the ladies I am attracted to, I now tell myself I rather focus on things which make ME happy first, like buying a house under the Singles Ownership scheme, a car which I have been eyeing for long, and anticipating the happiness of spending my free time in doing charity at whatever homes or houses I have located.
Bottomline: I think when one is living his/ her life fulfillingly and happily, THAT person is most attractive, and THAT kind of beauty is also most grounded and practical. My one-and-a-half cents.
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whatever it is...glad u put your own happiness first....not just the women....which is conventionally wrong to always put women as first priority given the equality they keep struggling to get more at our expense and upon divorce with all those biased policies backing them up...
aside, your parents are also important...given the high rise divorce rates...even if u stay single to protect harm from the vixens and/or sluts...that is understandable....
dun worry and u have my support and blessing to find the gal of your happiness....they can and SO CAN YOU...dun subjugate your rights because the "gentleman" code says so...but because u r MAN to do so
Best of Luck!
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actually.... mmmmm I think one of the hardest things to learn as we grow older....
....is learning how to make compromises... after we get used to being independent, not seeking others opinions to lead our own lives, and just being about to do whatever you want... the prospect of having to accommodate someone else's needs and wants become very intolerable. Unfortunately, that's what having a relationship is all about - be it married couple, friendship or family.
So while I think that leading your life happily is the end goal, whether you are single or not, if you do have the opportunity to meet someone special, takes a lot of effort and work to remember that he/she is special but not perfect - and when you put someone else's needs first its not because of any code of chivalry or pretension, but that because out of love you do wish to make that person's life a bit easier, better.
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my aunt is single at 47, slim pretty and looks like not a day over 30.
but she's just single, has not met anyone whom she wanna spends the rest of her life with (yet?) i dont know.. but she keeps herself busy with work overseas holidays church friends and family still, i wonder if she wants someone to cuddle at the end of each day.. -
2 words losers
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Originally posted by NG QIBO AARON AUBREY:
2 words
losers
So I take it that you're a lot better at dating than you are at maths?
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Originally posted by Kuali Baba:
So I take it that you're a lot better at dating than you are at maths?
LOL -
Fated.
When you fate comes, you will meet your life time partners.
If possible, have 1 kid will do.
Just to have a small family.
Dont give up hope, you will find one oneday.
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Originally posted by Kuali Baba:
So I take it that you're a lot better at dating than you are at maths?
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Happiness is really up to oneself. You can put two people in the same circumstances and whilst one might remain positive and make the most of the situation, the other might end up bitter and jaded.
There are singles around who are happy and contented, and then there are those who are always fretting over being single. And then there are married couples who are happy and those who aren't.
I wish people would stop being so narrow-minded and think that there's a one-size fits all solution to everyone's life.
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Originally posted by Rhonda:
Happiness is really up to oneself. You can put two people in the same circumstances and whilst one might remain positive and make the most of the situation, the other might end up bitter and jaded.
There are singles around who are happy and contented, and then there are those who are always fretting over being single. And then there are married couples who are happy and those who aren't.
I wish people would stop being so narrow-minded and think that there's a one-size fits all solution to everyone's life.
How apt...
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I'm well over 35, single and a pretty happy fella most of the time.
I don't see any corelation whatsoever between age, marital status and happiness.
I think TS thinks too much oredy lah.......