Ugly galpals amongst the Beauties
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Here's another touchy subject.
I've noticed sometimes there are these girls who have been friends for a long time, perhaps since primary or secondary school and still friends through thick and thin. But when it comes to relationships and marriage, the ugly one will always be still single and the pretty ones will be married or at least always have a constant stream of male companionship.
I think it's sad when this happens. I know this group of 6 girls. Friends for about 20 years. 4 are very pretty, and all have always had boyfriends and now married. The 5th is short, ugly and doesnt smile much. She's 40 now and imho I dont think she's ever had a boyfriend.
Another group of 3 I know- 1 is extremely pretty and jetsets everywhere with her outgoing husband. the 2nd is pretty but is more settled down and has 2 little gorgeous kids. The 3rd is overweight and ugly and is, of course, single.
Question to the attractive married girls:
How do you help your less desireable friend?
Do you ever talk about it or is an off limits topic?
Do you talk about perhaps the single girl needs to try cosmetic surgery, or actually exercise and eat less, or perhaps reduce her expectations- she might think she's as good looking as her married friends and expect a great guy like the pretty oones get, which she clearly wont.
Also, has the pressure of being the odd one out every made the single galpal quit being part of your circle of friends?
ps: I cant quite think of an equivalent situation for guys, but if you know such an occurance, feel free to discus too :)
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I think this is a typical case of severe stereotyping
Ironically, most of the girls I know who are not married are pretty, successful and can have any guy they want.
Partly it’s by choice and also partly because they think they can have any guy they want, they nitpick.
Of course there is the case of the not-so-pretty ones not married but the ones I know opted it by choice and though they lament about their predicament, they don’t really want a guy in their life.
Well, the question is, does the friend want help in the first place? Plus, it’s not a crime to not marry.
You can a happy and fulfilling life not married. You don’t have to marry to be happy or successful in life -_-“
Why do people just assume that an unmarried woman is unhappy or unfulfilled -_-“
Anyway, why would one feel pressured because the other friends are attached? Well, probably if the person has low self-esteem and desperately want a man, if not I don’t see where is the pressure coming from.
And if the men are really so shallow not to be able to see past physical appearances, I think it’s better not to get married because beauty doesn’t last.
So if the girl gets old and ugly, the man finds a younger prettier girl?
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I dont think many girls would choose to be single, if they could help it. When I look back at those who graduated with me, I can tell which guys and girls are likely to remain dateless and single. It's usually the ugly ladies and socially inept guys. It's got nothing to do with being nice. Onoe of the girls in my univeristy graduation class is a really friendly and good hearted girl. But she's damn ugly. She's still dateless today.
We all know that guys can go to poorer countries to find a younger wife. But I wonder why girls under 35 dont take the plunge? I admit it would be very difficult, but surely guys from poor countries also wish to escape the poverty too.
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Originally posted by OneWithTheForce:
I admit it would be very difficult, but surely guys from poor countries also wish to escape the poverty too.
I don't think women would like to marry weak men.
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Originally posted by OneWithTheForce:
I dont think many girls would choose to be single, if they could help it. When I look back at those who graduated with me, I can tell which guys and girls are likely to remain dateless and single. It's usually the ugly ladies and socially inept guys. It's got nothing to do with being nice. Onoe of the girls in my univeristy graduation class is a really friendly and good hearted girl. But she's damn ugly. She's still dateless today.
We all know that guys can go to poorer countries to find a younger wife. But I wonder why girls under 35 dont take the plunge? I admit it would be very difficult, but surely guys from poor countries also wish to escape the poverty too.
Funny I also know a few couples where it is a good looking guy and below average looking girl.And I also happen to know a lot of girls who choose to be single by choice. I would have opted that road if I didn't meet my husband. Haha.
After a few disasters, being single is really a very nice option.
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Interesting thing though....
All my uglier g/fs are married.
The pretty ones married real late.
Or the ones I will be meeting on a soon to be happening class meet up......the really pretty successful ones....especially the girls are all single! The men are all married :P with kids!
And it looks like the married female classmates wont be turning up for the gathering.
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The thing with attractive successful women in their 30's is that they're usually quite confident and have high standards for a partner, or even friends where males are concerned. The few I've met in this situation have tended to have something about their personality which makes them hard edged and less approachable as a person.
The ones who somehow manage to still be softer and more gentle usually manage to havea steady flow of boyfriends. One girl I know is 40 and just got married earlier this year. She's pleasantly looking and comes across as gentle, despite being a successful dentist. Has never been short of suiters.
But despite what you ladies have said, in my experience, it is by far much more common for attractive girls to have bfs/husbands and unattractive ones to be single.
I think choosing to be single, vs being in an unhappy marriage, is simply choosing between bad and worse, not happy and bad.
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To describe this topic as being &^#$ing absurd would be the absolute height of charity.
Pretty? Ugly? What's that? How do you measure that? Is your idea of pretty the same as the next guy's? Can you bet your house that your chiobu is not an Ah Lian guttersnipe to another guy? When a model's going down the catwalk, how often do you hear people saying, "OMFG, why did they choose her?"?
Until you address the above, you've got no grounds to talk about all of that other rubbish.
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Originally posted by Gedanken:
To describe this topic as being &^#$ing absurd would be the absolute height of charity.
Pretty? Ugly? What's that? How do you measure that? Is your idea of pretty the same as the next guy's? Can you bet your house that your chiobu is not an Ah Lian guttersnipe to another guy? When a model's going down the catwalk, how often do you hear people saying, "OMFG, why did they choose her?"?
Until you address the above, you've got no grounds to talk about all of that other rubbish.
Defining unattractive girls is a little like defining pornography- hard to define, but you know it when you see it. -
So in other words it's all bullshit.
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very interesting topic.... :)
i believe its by choice.... and also, fate/timing plays a part too.
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reality hits hard.. look at destiny's child...
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of cos, if one is hot (or i shld use the word presentable), had a gentle personality, of cos the chances are high....
timing plays a important part too...
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TS, you have brought up a real interesting topic!.
i have female friends who are ugly but are attached, this means that we have different expressions of a beautiful person.
yes, i agree that prettier girls get the creme of the crop, it's pretty much evolutionary, alpha mate with alpha, beta mate with beta.
my uglier gf's are the ones who still remain single, but this is not to mention the pretty ones but who are socially inept.
worse come to worse, go for plastic surgery
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i cant help but have to nod my head profusely on the 'socially inept' part....
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I know a pretty 30+ malaysian girl until today i think not attached lol.
Everytime see me tell me her great need to be attached..... then I ask her you quite cute mah no one want meh?
She said got..... but got 1001 problems.
Then I find out she likes guys that don't like her and are not married.
So I guess even pretty girls can end up not married
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walau triple post.... work computer so very louya one
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double post dunno how it happened click too fast meybe
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well going by this theory, if there are ugly gals, there must be ugly guys too. Maybe your so called ugly friend is choosy. There are many ugly pple who are married and enjoying life.
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Well, I dont mean that all ugly men and women cant get married, for obviously many do.
2cansam is pretty much spot on to say the pretty ones who are socially inept are the pretty ones who are still single.
Genie99a-I've met one such girl.
This Singaporean girl who's now 32. Quite pretty, earns between 120k and 130k a year. Used to go out with her Caucasian co workers for a few years before being single. Her standards are thus high and I know she went out a lot with this very outgoing chinese guy last year, but he already had a gf, so she didnt get anywhere with him. He had always made it clear they were friends. But she fell for him because he was good looking and confidant and fun.