Slow Life, Slow Sex: Learning about your body means self-exploration
Author: Dr. Kunio Kitamura
Find what feels good and make your mark.
I'm a little worried about the negative attitude of Japanese women.
According to a 2000 survey the Japanese Association for Sex Education
carried out on youths' sexual behavior, 94.2 percent of male
university students had experienced masturbation, while the figure for
women was only 40.1 percent. Playing with yourself is not exclusively
the domain of men and I find the low rate amongst women to be very
disappointing indeed.
How about using bath time or one time when you're sleeping alone to
explore a bit to find out where you feel good? If you're feeling
REALLY adventurous, why not use a felt-tip marker and draw a heart on
the spot that tickles your fancy. It doesn't have to be a heart, a
diamond, or spade, or whatever, will do. Then, when you get a chance
with a partner who stumbles around grabbing whatever he can, slow him
down and use the mark to point him in the right direction. The more
frequently and longer this goes on, the closer you'll get to real
communication. When he can't rise to the occasion, you can rib him
about it gently, while also letting him know that's how he leaves you
feeling when he shows no concern for your orgasm. Doing this will
enable you to get your message across and not hurt his pride.
Many people ask me for advice on the best method to play with
themselves, but, basically, there are no rules. Do what makes you feel
best. Mind you, if you have long nails, you may end up scratching your
genitals or vagina, opening the door to possible infection, so it's
best to be careful. And you shouldn't use instruments that are
harmful. If, by chance, you do decide to use a vibrator, make sure you
read the instructions for use very carefully and always use lubricants.
Playing with yourself helps with early detection of illness and
prevention of unwanted pregnanciesBecause of my interest in the
subject of self pleasure, about two years ago I developed a lubricant
called Doctor G.* ("G" derives from "jii," the Japanese word for
masturbation that literally translates as "self comfort." ) It's a
lubricant that doesn't harm the skin and makes playing with yourself
more enjoyable. (Somewhat surprisingly, sales of the women's version
of Doctor G are better than the type for men.)
Many have criticized me for advocating masturbation, saying that it
does little to help combat the problems caused by the country's low
birthrate. But it's not that at all. What masturbation does is provide
a shortcut for better sex for both men and women, gives women with a
chance to detect any abnormalities in their b r e a s t s or genitals and
can be an effective way to prevent unwanted pregnancies or the spread
of sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS. Finally, I'd like to
remind you of one of my favorite movie lines, from Woody Allen's
Academy Award-winning "Annie Hall.""Masturbation is sex with the
person you love the most."